Safe House: Unknown Location – 1 month after Normandy's destruction (A.N.D.)

"You've made the right decision Dr. T'Soni. We'll use every resource at our disposal to bring her back."

Liara pulled her shoulders back and tried to project a confidence she wasn't quite feeling at the moment. She had sacrificed so much to do this it had to be the right thing to do, but she had to admit that a part of her didn't believe it. She knew how Shepard felt about Cerberus, but she'd ignored that. She ignored everything that told her this was a mistake and focused on the one thing that mattered. Getting Shepard back.

"I'll hold you to that."

Cerberus HQ: Unknown Location – 2 Months A.N.D.

"I'm handing Project Lazarus over to you, Miranda. Failure is not an option. Understood?" The Illusive man asked before taking his next drag.

"Of course." Miranda replied. She had no doubt that being given this project meant that The Illusive Man was trusting her with his most important asset, she would not let him down. No matter the cost. "What about when we succeed, how can we be sure she'll even work with us? From what I've heard her run-ins with Cerberus have not been positive."

"True. That is why I've already begun laying the ground work on making us the only option. I have someone working on some dossiers for Shepard's team. We'll make sure to select some people she'll be inclined to trust." He paused, taking yet another drag from his cigarette. "And I have plans for closing off any other avenues of assistance. She'll work with us, she won't have any other choice."

"There are always other choices, what if she just doesn't care? I've seen her file, she's a pretty ruthless woman. I'm surprised there's much she cares about." Miranda countered.

"She'll care. She's not ruthless without a cause, she does what she needs to do to get the job done because she cares." He said.

"You admire her." Miranda was a bit taken aback by the realization. She thought by the way he spoke it might even be more but she didn't dare imply it.

He looked out to the space beyond his office. "I do. Shepard didn't have an easy life. She clawed her way to where she was before she died. Many feared her, but she inspired them as well. We need that. Need her." He turned back to look at Miranda. "Get me everything there is to know about Normandy's team during the hunt for Saren and at the time of its destruction." With that he sat back down and stared at his screens, his way of dismissing her.

"I'll have the files sent to you by end of day." She replied before walking out.

Cerberus HQ: Unknown Location – 3 months A.N.D.

"Operative Lawson is already making progress on Project Lazarus. It's remarkable." The agent on the QEC stated.

"I expected nothing else. Where are we on the fallback blocks?" The Illusive Man asked. This part of the plan was just as important as the project itself, he needed to ensure Shepard had no other options outside working with Cerberus.

"We've finally established one of our agents with his best friend. She will make sure our leaked information reaches him. She will also make sure these leaks are fed to Anderson and Hackett."

"Make it subtle. Don't push it. Let him doubt it, let him work his way there slowly before we pull the rug out from under him completely. By the time Shepard wakes up he needs to completely believe she is one of us." The Illusive Man insisted. "Anderson and Hackett will have to take the leaks seriously if they aren't the only ones informed, so make sure it gets around the highest branches of the military and government."

"Yes, sir."

Arcturus Station: Kaidan Alenko's Apartment - 6 months A.N.D.

"Kaidan, just take a look at it, please." LaRue pleaded.

Kaidan stared at the datapad in his friend's hand, tempted to reach for it. He shook his head. "No, and I can't believe you copied her files. Are you insane? She's in Intelligence, she'll figure it out."

"No she won't, she has no reason to suspect I'd copy her files. Just read the damn report." LaRue insisted, shoving the datapad in Kaidan's direction.

Kaidan took a few steps back, as if he was literally afraid of touching it. "No. I don't need to read it to know its bullshit. She's gone, LaRue. There's no way she could have survived that attack. Joker saw it, she…"

"Kaidan –"

"Stop. Why are you doing this to me? You know what I've been through these last six months. You're not helping here." Kaidan pushed his way past LaRue towards the kitchen. He needed to get as far away from that data pad as he could. It didn't matter what was on that thing or where the information came from. Lex was dead, he'd lost her.

LaRue wanted to slap himself. Why had he thought this was a good idea?

Because, what if it's true?

When he had first read the report after a bit of poking around while he waited for his current lady friend to get ready for their date, he had been elated. That had quickly been replaced with rage and then doubt. The report on the data pad stated there had been multiple sightings of Lex in the Terminus System. It was nothing more than a few scattered reports, but it looked like Intelligence was taking them seriously.

He'd considered not saying anything to Kaidan, but he couldn't keep it to himself. His best friend had been a wreck after her supposed death. He was just starting to put himself together enough to get back to work, thanks to much insistence from Admiral Hackett, which was still a bit of a mystery to LaRue as to why the Admiral even cared. The thing was, Kaidan wasn't really coming out of it. He was wrapping himself up in his work, worse than he ever had before he'd met Lex and that was saying something. He wasn't really living.

LaRue couldn't help but hope that knowing that she might still be alive would finally bring back his friend. But Kaidan refused to believe she would fake her death. He had to admit it didn't make a whole lot of sense. He certainly wasn't her biggest fan, but even he hadn't been able to come up with a reason for her to do that. Unfortunately the proof was right there in the data pad.

"Kaidan."

"Just go, man. And take that thing with you. Please." Kaidan said as he walked past LaRue and into his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

LaRue stared at the door for a minute, placed the data pad on the kitchen counter and let himself out.

Arcturus Station: Admiral Hackett's Office - 8 months A.N.D.

"We need to find where these reports are coming from and put a stop to them." Hackett said with a slam of a fist to his desk.

"We're working on it, Steven. We'll get to the bottom of this." Anderson kept his voice calm, hoping it would help calm his old friend.

"It's been eight months, David. She's been gone for eight months and for the last two months I've had to look at report after report detailing sightings of her on various planets. And now they have images to go along with them. Blurry, crap images that go a long way to sowing further doubt in the idiots in charge and still proving nothing." Hackett sat back in his chair, the exhaustion of this whole ordeal was finally starting to show. "And now this?"

"No one is going to believe she's working with Cerberus." Anderson reassured him.

"A couple of months ago we said the same thing about them believing she was alive, and look at where we are now." Hackett rubbed his temple. "Even Kaidan is starting to believe the rumors, he looks worse each time I see him."

Anderson shook his head. "They're weighing on him, just like they are on us. We can't properly mourn her while all this is going on, that's all. He knows better than to believe it."

"I don't know, David. I'm starting to…"

Anderson cut him off. "She's gone, Steven. She wouldn't do this to us, and she wouldn't do it to him."

Citadel: Anderson's Office – 1 year A.N.D.

Kaidan walked into Anderson's office and up to his desk, not bothering with a salute. He tossed a data pad on the desk. "Practically on schedule."

"Damn it, this is ridiculous." Anderson exclaimed as he picked up the data pad and quickly scanned the report.

Kaidan nodded. He turned and took a seat, again not bothering with formalities. "According to that report she was seen boarding a Cerberus ship three weeks ago on Omega. That same ship was spotted a week later in the space near the latest colony to be hit."

"So according to all of these reports we are supposed to believe that someone always spots her near one of the colonies before they are attacked, but doesn't report it until after the attack." Anderson added.

"Unless the goal is to drive me out of my mind, I don't understand why they are doing this. And better yet, who is doing it?" Kaidan leaned forward and rubbed his temples. "She hated Cerberus and it's becoming more and more obvious that they have something to do with these attacks. Are they working for the Reapers?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Commander." Anderson replied.

"Please, don't call me that."

"Why not, you earned it. I know this isn't easy for you, hell it's not a walk in the park for me either. It's just a rank Alenko, it didn't define her, and it wasn't who she was. She'd be proud of you." Anderson stated.

"Would she, or is she walking around somewhere just…"

Anderson stood up quickly slamming his hands on the desk causing Kaidan to look up in shock. "Damn it son, don't you finish that sentence. You'll regret it the moment the words are out of your mouth. Don't let whomever is behind this get into your head. She's gone. There's an imposter out there dead set on ruining her name, and we are not going to let that happen. Is that understood?"

"I…you're right, sir. I'm just…I'm tired. It's been six months of this, and …" Kaidan stopped before he said too much.

And I'm having to put up with the rumors from all sides.

It had been bad enough when it was just LaRue feeding him whatever information he could get out of his girlfriend in Intelligence. That was easy enough to put off as crazy rumors but when Hackett and Anderson had brought him in on their own investigation and shown him all of the reports that were coming in he'd struggled to keep it together. As much as he knew in his heart it was all garbage, some terrible broken part was starting to whisper to him. Was starting to tell him it was all too much to ignore. "It'll be a year tomorrow."

"I know." Anderson walked around his desk and sat in the chair next to Kaidan.

"Hackett wants me to go to the memorial with him, but I don't think I can. I feel bad, I know he's going through hell as much as I am, more probably." Kaidan sighed as he stood and started towards the door. "I miss her so much, but I'm also so angry with her. And I'm not sure what for anymore. Have a good day, sir."

"Come on, Joker! We have to get out of here!" Shepard yelled suddenly showing up behind him as if out of nowhere.

Joker shook his head. "No, I won't abandon the Normandy! I can still save her!" He sounded desperate, he knew that but he had to save her.

"The Normandy's lost. Going down with the ship won't change that." Shepard replied, trying to make him see reason.

Joker glanced over at her sensing the desperation in her own voice. It seemed to bring him back to reality. He nodded in renunciation. "Yeah…okay. Help me up."

Just then the ship's sensors alerted him as the enemy ship started to come around. "They're coming around for another attack." Joker automatically went to work trying to do whatever he could to get them out of harm's way but it was too late, the ship was hit again and things were exploding all around him. Shepard grabbed his arm. "Ah! Watch the arm!" He screamed as she helped him out of his pilot seat and back towards the escape pod.

They made their way there as quickly as possible with explosions going off all around them and Shepard practically carrying his full weight. Her grip so tight he was sure she'd fractured a few bones, but he didn't dare complain again. We aren't going to make it and it's my fault.

They reached the escape pod and Shepard pushed him in. Joker was so relieved he didn't care about the pain he was in. Suddenly a big explosion hit and Shepard was thrown away from the pod. "Commander!" Joker yelled as he watched helplessly from his seat, unable to reach out to her. Knowing even if he could there was no way he'd be able to get her back into the shuttle. Come on, Shepard. Get back in here, you can do it.

And then she looked at him, and he knew. Oh god, no! "Shepard!"

Vancouver: Joker's Apartment – 1 and a half years A.N.D.

Joker woke up in a pool of his own sweat. After all this time he still had that nightmare every night. He looked around at his surroundings. He wasn't surprised to find himself on his couch, he spent most of his nights there fighting an endless battle against sleep until it finally dragged him down. He checked his omni-tool and seeing that it was already late morning decided to go the diner downstairs for breakfast.

The diner was mostly deserted when he got there. Joker slowly made his way to the counter and took a stool near the middle as he usually did. There was only one other person seated at the counter, a dark haired woman he hadn't seen before, but she was a few seats away.

The waitress had noticed his arrival as soon as he'd walked in and already had a cup of coffee in front of him by the time he sat down. Joker gave her a nod and a weak smile as thanks. He knew she would have put his order in when she saw him, so he just waited for it to arrive. He hadn't noticed the woman at the counter had gotten up so he was surprised when he heard someone sit next to him and greet him.

"Good Morning, mind if I join you?" The dark haired woman asked.

Joker just shrugged his shoulders and hoped she was smart enough to understand that meant he wasn't in the mood for idle chat.

"Thank you, Mr. Moreau. My name is Miranda Lawson, and I believe you and I have a lot to talk about."

Citadel: Apollo's Café – 19 months A.N.D.

"Are you out of your damn mind?" Kaidan couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Joker shook his head. "Kaidan, I need to fly. It's all I have, you have to unders…"

"Oh come on, Joker. I told you I was working on it. All you had to do was give me more time and I'd get you back in the pilot's seat. The Alliance wouldn't ground you forever, you're the best pilot they have." He insisted. He'd been shocked when LaRue had told him Joker had quit the Alliance, but he had understood Joker's need to fly. He'd figured his friend had gone on to commercial work, but here he was telling Kaidan that he was working for Cerberus. "Instead, you go and join a terrorist organization?"

"They aren't a terrorist organization. I know they've done some questionable things in the past but right now they are focused on trying to figure out what is happening to our colonies. Kaidan, it's a total of four now, and no one is doing anything!" Joker seemed to realize he'd let his voice get a bit high and he lowered his head a bit towards his friend. "They've sworn to me that I won't be involved in anything shady and they're letting me fly."

Kaidan threw his hands up in frustration. "And of course, they'd never lie."

Joker leaned in further. "Look, I've heard the rumors. What if they're true? Maybe I can find her…"

"No!" Kaidan practically growled as he jumped forward in his chair. "No, don't you dare bring her into this. Don't use your guilt over what happened as an excuse, you just want to fly, this isn't about her."

"You're right, that's not why I joined. I didn't even know about the rumors until I told LaRue I'd joined Cerberus and he went off on me and let me know. Why didn't you tell me?" Joker demanded.

"One because it's classified, LaRue isn't even supposed to know. And no, I didn't tell him. And two, because it's bullshit. She had more sense than to trust Cerberus." Kaidan replied. "She's gone, Joker. There's no way she would ever work for Cerberus."

"Is that it? Are you so sure she's dead or are you just unwilling to believe she'd work – "

Kaidan stood up so quickly his chair was thrown back. "Fuck you, Joker. She wouldn't do that to me and she'd never work for them. If this is what you want, fine whatever. Just leave me and her out of it."

Lazarus Research Station – 23 months A.N.D.

"Well Doc, what do you think?" Joker asked nervously. "I mean, it looks like her, right? I mean besides the weird red scars and stuff, but you've looked at the medical stuff. Is it really her?"

Dr. Chakwas was still staring at Shepard's unconscious form on the other side of the observation window. "As far as I can tell, yes. It's her, Joker. I don't know how they did it, but it's her."

"I knew it." Joker replied with relief that clearly showed he'd had his doubts. "Now you understand why I couldn't tell you until you got here, right?"

"Yes." She nodded finally turning to look at him. "But what about the others? What about Kaidan and her father? They need to know."

Joker frowned. "I tried. Kaidan won't return my calls or emails since I joined Cerberus, and I can't just leave him a message. He probably wouldn't believe me if I did. And I thought Shepard was an orphan?"

"She's not, but of course she wouldn't have talked about it." She shook her head. "I'll try to reach out to them. Hopefully word hasn't reached them about what I'm doing while on leave and I can get them to listen to me."

The Illusive Man turned off the video feed he'd been watching and pressed a button. Within thirty seconds his assistant showed up on the QEC. "Make sure all communication from Dr. Chakwas leaving this facility is closely monitored and all messages to Hackett and Alenko are either blocked or filtered."

"Yes, sir."

****Fair warning, I'm going to play with the timeline a lot starting with part two and continuing to part three. I'm also going to try to do a lot more original scenes, and use less of the in game dialogue. Although I like explaining what I think the characters were thinking during those moments, I want to divert from things a bit without going full on AU, so it's going to take a lot more original stuff to do that. I expect this part to be shorter than part one, since there's a lot less Kaidan in it, but I also want to see Shepard through this.***