A/N: This fic is BOTH NH and SNS if you can't accept multishipping just leave.
He sends word he's near and your happiness shines, expanding like the sun, its rays piercing me like.
I swallow my contempt dry as you leave so fast, not bothering even to say goodbye or to look at me a last time before you leave me wondering if you'll ever come back.
And my feelings cover me like tides. A wave of fear for you never returning, another wave of wonder if what we have – our family, our marriage, our love – is so fragile that disappear from your mind so easily, forgotten. This wave isn't as frightening as the fed by fear first one, but it drowns me nonetheless; as I stand there, alone, griping tightly the knot of the carefully wrapped bentou you'll never eat.
But you do come back, at least you have always until now, the ocean in my heart calms down until the next storm, of those I'm always certain.
I know I'm selfish, I know I should trust you more, I know there's other woman getting so much worse. But I can't help myself as anger burns my stomach as I see you leave over and over, never staying, never choosing me, because when you said you loved me, when you gave me your name I thought that, for the first time, I had something only for myself, and I don't.
I feel betrayed because I never thought it would be like this, our marriage is crowded but I'm still the one being left alone. I thought you gave me your heart like I gave you mine, but when I looked at yours, half of it was already taken, and as much as I try to hold it firmly, I'm afraid it will escape like water between my fingers and return to its rightfully owner.