Notes: I like Robin as a bachelor a lot. This story is unrelated to Ethics of using Einherjar, which also features him and an Einherjar (duh!). This is closer to a gender-flipped version of You are a disaster!, however...

Stats: 1500 words for Einherjar!Marth and Robin. The Request and Receive Saga enters a hiatus, please see my profile for more details.

Morgan was that age now. She would never have believed it of herself before, but she had snuck multiple times into the Shepherds' library to browse the romance book collections of Sumia and Cordelia... and every woman else, even if they didn't openly admit they owned printed smut. Maribelle's was specially amazing, who would have thought girls could do such nice things to each other? She had started searching for similar content about boys one day, when...

"Have you thought about the identity of Morgan's mother?" she heard Chrom's voice approaching. "Everyone is wondering about the lucky lady!"

"Not really, no. I have been busy checking the Einherjar, and..." Robin said as they stepped into the library, but he looked up and saw her checking the erotic books. He blushed and started stuttering: "H-hey, M-Morgan! F-f-fancy meeting y-y-you here today, eh?"

She rolled her eyes with a big smile on her face, as Chrom lost it and laughed out loud, slapping Robin's back in that way men oftentimes did. Men's affections for each other were so different and intriguing and exciting to her, she realized. She would adore to see more of that, she thought, playing with her blue hair.

"And to what do I owe the visit of a royal and his tactician?" she asked jokingly, as if she owned the library.

"Research," her father declared, his professionalism back on. "We're trying to locate the last living heirs of the Plegian monarchy, to get the nation back on track... without sacrificing ourselves."

Oh right, since grandpa Validar was technically the last king, and he was now pretty much dead, Robin was next in line for the throne, and Morgan herself was a princess. But both were trying to avoid being crowned, so finding the descendants of the king before Gangrel was of vital importance.

"I can help!" she offered.

Chrom sighed in relief. "You now have an assistant, Robin, can I go? I'm not a fan of genealogy."

The tactician, on the other hand, sighed in exasperation. "If you didn't want to help, you could have stayed behind practicing with the lance wielders. You could benefit greatly, you know?"

"Awesome idea! I'm going to join them before they leave the field!" And with that, they lost the Exalt's company, much to Morgan's disappointment. How could she get to witness male affection if she didn't have two men to do it?

Her father had already started checking the books on one of the shelves. "Will you help me, then?" he asked her.

"Of course I will, father dearest," she said sweetly, kissing his cheek.

They worked together in silence, picking out history books mostly, browsing their pages for any content on Plegia, finding nothing, and returning them to their place. The tacticians had the nagging suspicion that Ylisse had gotten rid of that kind of books long ago, for fear of spreading the knowledge of the Grimleal. But that was an uncomfortable topic for all...

Morgan got bored being quiet. "Father, returning to the earlier question, who do you think would be my mother?"

Robin dropped the book he had been checking. He answered as he picked it up and dusted it, "Well, you have blue hair, and the only woman I know with that hair aside from you is Lucina. But I can't tell that to Chrom, imagine what...?"

She stopped listening altogether, rolling her eyes. It was a predictable answer, and she didn't get along with Lucina. It couldn't be her! Her father was so dumb sometimes; mothers and daughters were supposed to be best friends!

Though he was right; not counting the time traveling princess, and herself, Chrom and Brady were the only blue haired Shepherds. It was a logical conclusion, even if she didn't like it.

"Father, changing the topic," Morgan interrupted Robin, and he just shrugged, used to it, "what were you doing with the Einherjar?"

"Oh that! I was trying to see if, aside from their personality, they also carried some memories with them. I was interviewing Marth this morning, focusing on his relationship with Tiki... But I got distracted; his descendants sure look like him! All I could think of was when Lucina was passing as him, and that I was oddly attracted to her since she first helped us kill those Risen. It made me question if I liked men just like women!"

This time, she heard all of his words without zoning out, even with the mention of Lucina. Two pieces had clicked together in her mind, then a couple more did as well, solving her puzzle. She smirked behind an open book.

"Can I borrow Marth's card? Your investigation sure sounds interesting, and I'd like to try my hand with it," she half-lied.

Her father smiled at her kindly, putting another book back into the shelf, then searching his coat's pockets. "There you go, Morgan," he said as he passed the card to her. "Be careful when you summon him. Remember to think of your objective very clearly, so there are no accidents."

"I will be, father, thank you."

Robin walked to another shelf, concentrating again on his search with his back to her, while Morgan held the summoning card close to her lips, whispering: "Marth? You are returning to your room now. Your queen is there, waiting for you. You really want her close to you, to embrace her, kiss her, love her tenderly... Oh, and you cannot perceive me! It's just the two of you in the room."

The spirit began materializing in front of her, her father unsuspecting of what was coming. She resisted the urge to giggle.

Marth saw the image of his wife where Robin stood, the library becoming their private chambers. "I'm back, my love!"

The tactician dropped the book he was holding, startled again. He turned around in confusion, the Einherjar getting closer, holding him in his arms tightly. It was only slightly weird so far, but Marth's hand held his chin up and joined their lips in a kiss, and it became a lot weirder.

Morgan felt herself blush, gasping and squealing in delight at the same time. She didn't regret it one bit, even as her father glared at her over Marth's shoulder, the spirit moving down to kiss his neck. The tactician was trying not to moan; the damned Einherjar was actually good.

"What did you tell him, young lady?" Robin demanded, using his hands to try to keep the apparition from unbuckling his belts.

"I couldn't help noticing he had blue hair, so... what if he is my other parent? That's what I thought," she half-lied, again.

"He's a man," her father said, then went over her words for a second time, "and so am I!"

"Father, Marth is a spirit right now, I don't think you can deny the possibility at all."

Before Robin could say more, the Einherjar picked him up, carrying him over to a nearby table. Morgan was having a giggle fit, guessing that Marth saw it as a bed.

"Young lady, make him stop!"

"But why, if it's so fun?" she replied, watching her father pinned down to the table, squirming as the spirit continued kissing and caressing him. "You said you had liked Lucina dressed up as Marth, don't you find him attractive as himself?"

The struggle ceased for a brief moment, and Morgan was confused about what had happened, until Robin moaned loudly, his arms wrapping around Marth and pulling him closer for a kiss. The younger tactician stared in shock, starting to feel uncomfortable, her face turning so red she probably looked like a tomato.

"F-f-father, he's n-n-not real!" she said, starting to stutter, noticing they had discarded his coat already. "Y-y-you are in the l-l-library! Stop! S-s-someone will hear and see you!" The moans seemed to get louder at that. "No! Stop!" she cried out. "I yield! Marth can't be one of my parents, and you can't do this while your daughter is watching! Marth, come back!"

Holding out the card, the spirit slowly vanished from on top of her father as it returned to sealed form. She sighed in relief once the Einherjar was gone, clutching the card in a trembling hand. That had been about to get a lot more graphic than any novel she could have read in the library, and she wasn't ready to see something like that.

Her father walked over to her, still trying to catch his breath, but smirking smugly as he threw an arm around her shoulder. "Thank you, Morgan, you saved me, my beautiful daughter!"

She glared at him. "Wait, what?"

He bopped her nose. "I'm the master tactician around this place, and I have gotten out of weirder situations. You would do well to remember that." He kissed her forehead as she groaned. "Oh, and you're grounded. Go to your room."

Morgan reluctantly gave back the card and left the library, still in disbelief she had been tricked like that.