"I'll never forgive you for this April!" Napoleon growled under his breath. April Dancer couldn't stop herself from laughing.
"Keep still Napoleon, or you'll end up with the kohl pencil in your eye!"
"Why the hell couldn't you be doing this, April? Why me? Why not Illya? At least he can dance!"
April had to pause from her task in order to bring her laughing back under control once more.
"I can't do the dance of the seven veils with a sprained ankle!" she replied finally, gesturing at the thick bandage around her left foot; "and Illya's blue eyes are pretty. We need someone dark-eyed and sultry looking for this job. As Mister Waverly said, `you'll do it splendidly!'"
Napoleon groaned out loud once more.
"I'll never live this one down! I'm the CEA around here you know, a job that requires a modicum of dignity. Where's the dignity in this?"
April rolled her eyes.
"Look Napoleon, your face will be covered with black silk, your own hair covered by a beautiful long flowing wig held on by special glue so that it will stay put. Your eyes will be heavily made up, and in a minute I will apply some false eyelashes and you can practice batting them for tonight."
"Uuuuhhhhhhh!" Napoleon groaned again, his entire face starting to change to a very unbecoming shade of red. "This has to be the worst day of my entire life!"
"Now keep still. I'm going to apply these false eyelashes. Much as you don't want them on my friend, you do want them to be straight. False lashes that are applied crookedly will make you look truly ridiculous!"
Blushing furiously, Napoleon froze as April applied thick mascara to Napoleon's eyelashes, and then carefully applied the fake lashes on top of his own. After a minute or two, she smiled.
"Come on now love, bat your lashes for me!"
Napoleon glared at her. From outside the room, someone pounded on the door again.
"Go away!" he bellowed.
Mister Waverly's voice came back.
"Actually, Mister Solo, I have that information you asked me for."
April laughed again as Napoleon rolled his eyes this time and replied;
"Sorry sir, er…thank you."
The door opened and Alexander Waverly entered the room closely followed by Illya Kuryakin and Mark Slate, all three of them grinning widely. They saw Napoleon sitting still on a stool whilst April applied thick makeup to his face and a gorgeous long, curly black wig over his natural hair, ensuring it was fixed. He was wearing close fitting, flesh coloured tights that left nothing at all to the imagination, and nothing else whatever. Mark Slate Whistled mischievously.
"Walk down the corridor like that you'll get yourself a reputation Guv, and no mistake!" He said with a chuckle. Napoleon gave him a withering look and turned to his boss.
"Sir, no offense, but couldn't you have called me with that information?"
Waverly twinkled at him.
"Yes Mister Solo I could, but this is a spectacle that comes around only once in a lifetime. This is serious though, you stay there only until you or your companions get that information, and then you get out of there. If they penetrate your disguise, they'll likely be rather…annoyed with you. So make sure you put on a good show."
The Old man left, and Napoleon looked round at his three friends.
"All right, enough of the fun. I suppose we have no choice about this. We need that information or else thousands of lives will be at serious risk. Have you finished here April?"
April nodded.
"Just your costume now."
She took out of the package beside her an exquisite outfit looked like it had come straight from a production of Aladdin. Napoleon stared at it.
"I'm going to look like a genie who's her bottle!"
Illya grinned at him.
"It is straight from the Burlesque Club. They are lending us this costume for the evening. It has been altered slightly so that you will be better able to hide your…disadvantage. You must hurry Napoleon, we have only a short time left."
Napoleon, looked around at them all, and with a slightly hunted look on his face, he discarded the remnants of his dignity and with April's help he donned the costume.
"Now for the finishing touch!" she said, and within five minutes, Napoleon was ready. Heavy eye make-up, beautiful long curly hair, crowned by magnificent jewelry that jingled around his forehead, and bangles that jingled on his hands, fingers and ankles. He was draped and covered with the various veils and he gave a playful prance before them, batting his eyelashes and wiggling his hips.
"Let's go play with some birdies!" he said in a sexy voice. "Who's with me?"
Illya, Mark and April laughed and clapped as Napoleon Solo, CEA of UNCLE New York threw off his embarrassment and threw open the door of his office. Followed all the way by whistles and stares, he pranced through the corridors towards the basement car park, holding his head high and batting his new long eyelashes at everyone he encountered.
Watching him go, Illya muttered in an aside to April.
"I hope he doesn't get a standing ovation tonight…I hate to think what that would do to his ego!"