Chapter 1

I killed a man for the first time four months ago. Actually, I killed three men. In Japan, a place where the sky is still blue no matter how big the ocean of red gets.

They stand around me now wondering what happened. What caused me to snap. When I crossed that line. Because it's always a line that gets crossed, no matter who you are. There's always the first one. And, for the innocent, at least, there's always a damn good reason. Something traumatic always happens to set them off. Force their hand. For me, it was watching my friend die right beside me and having to sit tied to his body for two days. That was when I started cracking.

I look at the shocked faces around me, my family, my loved ones. Not all blood, mind you, but all family. Along with shock is a mix of pity, understanding, and even adoration. I know what they're thinking. They're wondering where there sweet little girl went. Before I left, they joked that while I was gone, I would be their guardian angel watching over them. Still in their hearts and minds, just not there to laugh with, or laugh at. A guardian angel to rise up on her wings at night to sit on a star and watch over them all. Guide them through their lives, protect them from the harm that was surely to come their way. But that was it, only a protective hand, a healing hand.

Well, this guardian angels back now, and she's traded her wings in for a 9mil.

3 months before

It was a long trip home. The flight lasted a good 16 hours. Luckily, I was only going to California, and not the east coast, or the trip would have been that much longer. Well, that wasn't the only thing that made the trip feel so long, it was the fact that I would be seeing my family soon, and I couldn't wait. I held contempt for every single time constraint; the way the plane didn't load fast enough, the way the pilot took his sweet ass time getting us in the air, the way the flight attendant wouldn't let us off the plane for five damn minutes after we landed. But as soon as we had started descending, my heart had started racing. I hadn't seen my brother in almost a year, and it hurt. Tremendously. Although he was always there in my heart and even in my mind sometimes, it wasn't the same. It's amazing how even a non-physical relationship needed a physical presence to thrive.

I hurried through the gate and into the airport and as soon as I could, grabbed my phone and hit the speed dial for Jax. He picked up on the second ring and sounded agitated.

"Hey sis, I'm guessin you're on the ground."

"Yeah, where are you?"

"Trying to find a fucking parking spot out here in this mess."

"Well don't park then just drive by the front and I'll be out there-"

I rounded the corner and there the fucker was, standing, smiling, with his phone up to his ear. The shithead was playing a trick on me. Hmmph.

I started to run towards him but when my carry on and purse felt as if they were weighing me down I dropped everything and ran to him. I must have squealed, too, judging by the looks I got from the bystanders. He threw his phone back in his pocket and started towards me at a normal pace. Next thing I knew, I was in his steel embrace.

"Jesus Christ, sis. It's good to see you too." When I pulled my face out of his neck he took my face in his hand. "You look great. God it's good to see that smile."

"You don't look so bad yourself. I see Tara is feeding you well."

"Yeah, and exercising me well too."

I aimed a good-natured jab at his stomach. "Jackson!"

"Yeah, yeah, come on let's get outta here."

"With pleasure."

He walked over and picked up the black canvas carry on I had dropped a few seconds earlier. When he held my purse out to me, I stuck my bottom lip out and gave him puppy dog eyes.

"Oh no, it's red, sis, you can handle this one on your own."

I laughed and smiled from ear to ear as I slung my bag over my shoulder. We slowly started making our way to the front of the building when I remembered the bags I had checked.

"Oh shit, Jax, my bags."

"Ha, alright, where do we go?"

"Hell if I know." I looked up at the signs above me, my eyes searching for one that read baggage claim. We soon found what we were looking for, but it took following several arrowed signs before we made it there.

"Is that it?...Is that it?...Is that-" He asked, pointing to each black suitcase that floated along the belt.

"Jackson! I will tell you when I see them, o.k."

"Yeah, yeah ok. Can't I bug you a little bit?" he laughed.

I just smiled and got his most beautiful beaming smile in return. God, it was so nice it almost hurt to see it again. Hell, I loved him so much it hurt.

"Oh there, that's them." I said pointing at the black rolling suitcases that were making their way around the belt. I only knew for sure it was them because of the bright pink plastic tag on one of them reading, "You don't look like my owner" and the yellow tag on the other reading "Take my bag, do my laundry"

Jax pulled the bags off the conveyor one by one and I took one and pulled the handle up while he did the same to the other. We quickly made our way outside to Jaxs' truck and threw the suitcases in the back. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect, that's what's always so great about California. I took a deep breath in and looked up at the sky. It was a beautiful blue and it felt so good to stand under it again. It was like I could feel the sun seeping all the way through to my bones. Damn, it was good to be back.

Sorry nothing happened this chapter, I promise stuff will start happening later. If you like it let me know!