Faith Lehane felt weird. Something about her wasn't right but she couldn't exactly put her finger on it. She had been feeling this way for a little over a week. Since the fall of sunnydale. At first she had chalked it up as post battle fatigue but now...now she was starting to worry. She noticed all the other slayers running around the Hyperion buzzing with unused and untamed energy. Yet she still feels as if she's about to fall apart from herself. Right now she's staring down at all those younger slayers. Or slayer juniors as she calls them.
"You feeling any better Faith?" Kennedy questions. Something about the young slayer had always caught Faith's attention. Maybe it was the fact if you look close enough, the younger girl reminded Faith of herself in a way. Or maybe it was the way the young slayer didn't fall over for Buffy Summers like everyone else, including herself, did and still does. She just shakes her head.
"Not really." she replies with a sigh. Kennedy's eyebrows furrow in worry.
"Maybe you should get checked out." she offers. Faith shakes her head turning to offer a small smile to the girl.
"Don't worry bout me Junior." she says. "Anyway, I got a meeting to get too." she says referring to the meeting she was called to that Buffy was holding for her team. She makes her way down the stairs gingerly, her muscles in her legs sore beyond belief but she has a high tolerance for pain. After all, every slayer does. I'm probably just outta practice. She thinks to herself. She makes her way into the conference room and sits down beside Xander. Without sparing him a glance, she announces her arrival. "Can we speed this up? Me and Fang got plans." Buffy just rolls her eyes and nods.
"Alright, I was thinking we should all decide what were gonna do now." she starts.
"Buffy if I may make a suggestion?" Giles interrupts before Buffy can continue. She nods at her ex watcher. "Perhaps we could open a...a training facility for the young girls. After we have gotten it up and running, meeting state criteria, we should start to travel to find these young girls." he suggests.
"Then what?" Faith asks.
"Then we train them on how to use their powers properly." he says turning to face her.
"What about the ones who aren't gonna wanna come with ya?" Faith questions next.
"Well then we'll have to try and convince them that it is the right choice. They shouldn't go through their lives with their powers untamed." Willow answers this time.
"I don't think they should have to go through life with em at all." Faith mutters.
"They really don't have a choice." Buffy says.
"They could tell you to fuck off. Which I'm almost sure is gonna happen with a hell of a lot of em." Faith responds leaning forward.
"We're what these girls need. We can train them on how to use their powers properly." Buffy tries to reason.
"What these kids are gonna need is to know that they're not some kinda freak. That they can still keep going on with their lives." Cordelia pipes up surprising everyone in the room. Faith hadn't even noticed Angel's team in the room.
"Cordelia does have a point on that." Xander speaks for the first time. "I mean, come on Buff, they're gonna be scared and confused and stuff and we don't know them...their families do." he tries. Buffy nods.
"But we can't just leave them out there either Xander." Buffy says sitting down heavily.
"We shouldn't havin this conversation." Faith mutters.
"Huh?" Buffy questions not really understanding what Faith was saying.
"We shouldn't even be talkin bout this. We shoulda thought about what it'd mean a little more before we did that damn spell." she says a little annoyed.
"Wait a second..." Fred speaks up running from the room quickly. The entire room exchanges confused glances and shrugs. Faith groans before exiting the room herself directly to the bathroom to empty the recent contents of her stomach. Wesley and Angel exchange even more confused and slightly worried glances at her departure.
"Gosh she's been sick lately." willow says. "If I didn't know any better I'd swear she was pregnant." she jokes. The room falls silent.
"You don't think?..." Robin Wood trails off. The entire room is enveloped in silence.
"No she's not pregnant." Fred says reentering with her nose firmly buried in a large book.
"So you think you know what's wrong with her?" Angel asks. Fred nods.
"Yeah. That spell didn't pass on the power of the slayer, it took the power of The Slayer and gave it to the girls." she says.
"Isn't that the same thing?" Cordelia questions. Fred shakes her head.
"No if it just passed on the power, it'd be like when Buffy died for a second and Kendra was called." Fred says.
"You know a lot abo-" Buffy is cut off by Angel.
"I told her." he says.
"Alright but.?" Cordelia again questions.
"But it TOOK The Slayer's powers." she emphasizes the took.
"But Buffy's fine." Willow says confused. Fred looks down biting her lip and it dawns on Angel first.
"Oh..." he trails off.
"What?" willow questions still confused.
"Buffy isn't The Slayer." Angel starts. "Faith is. Buffy died...twice actually. Faith hasn't died yet." he explains.
"Oh..." is heard around.
"Yeah." he whispers.
"But..but this is good right? I mean now she can't ever hurt anybody. I mean she can but it wont be the same. She's not a slayer anymore so she can't use her slayer strength and stuff to hurt us. So..so this is good." Willow reasons. Angel clinches his jaw.
"Faith hasn't been that way for a long time. She's not evil anymore." he grounds up.
"But this is like reassurance." Willow tries again.
"Would you say the same thing if your powers were taken away Red?" they hear whispered from the door way. "Would you feel like its reassurance you couldn't kill? Or hurt anybody?" Faith asks in a quiet, confused voice. "Cus it aint how I feel." she adds.
"B-but I- i" Faith cuts willow off.
"Don't. You were just as bad as I was at a time. What's to say you wont do it again?" she asks. "I mean nothin's set in stone so I guess you're right in a way. This way...this way you know I'm not gonna hurt nobody again." she finishes, voice cracking a little.
"Faith..." Angel starts.
"Its fine Angel." she says. "I'm gonna go for a walk or somethin." she says quickly making her way out of the room. Angel watches helplessly, not knowing how to help or comfort his friend. Nobody moves from their spot, they just sit and think.
"So what do we do about Faith?" Xander asks what everybody is thinking.
"She's not a child Xander, she can make her own decisions." Cordelia snaps.
"And last time we left her to do that you see how well that turned out." Buffy snaps at her.
"Well if we hadn't you know...left her? She woulda made better ones." Cordelia retorts sharply.
"So now her being evil a-and stabby is our fault?!" Willow shrieks.
"If the shoe fits, we should get our credit cards ready." Cordy responds coolly. "I'm ready to admit I played a small part in her loosing her already fragile mind back then." she adds getting up to leave the room.
"Where are you going?" Angel questions.
"To help the helpless." she calls over her shoulder. Angel and Wesley smile slightly at this but their faces turn serious once more.
"She's right." Angel says.
Faith rushed pass all the younger slayers pushing her way past them all roughly yet barely moving them.
"Whoa, slow down." Amanda, one of the new slayers says grabbing Faith's arm lightly. "Tryina run us all down?" she questions with a laugh in her voice. Faith jerks her arm away roughly and shoves past the young girl. She makes her way onto the street before breaking out into a full run. Even without slayer speed, she runs fast. Thank god for middle school and beginning of high school track team. She thinks wryly. She finally stops some time later at a beach. She staggers tiredly to a deserted spot sitting down heavily. There, she lets silent tears fall.
"Damn original slayer." she hears someone wheezing. "I'm not cut out for hanging around you." the young slayer from earlier wheezes again collapsing beside Faith.
"What do you want?" Faith questions wiping her tears quickly. If Amanda noticed them she doesn't let on.
"To know why you ran away like you'd been burned." Amanda says getting her breathing under control. Faith shrugs.
"Needed to get away." she says quietly. They sit in silence, staring out over the ocean for sometime before Amanda speaks up again.
"How do you do it?" she asks. Faith, slightly startled by the sudden question, turns to the younger girl with furrowed brows.
"Do what?" she responds with a question of her own. Amanda turns to her, brown eyes looking as confused as Faith herself felt.
"Be a slayer." Amanda responds barely above a whisper. Faith turns back to the water to stare out.
"It's all I can do. I don't have anything else. But now..." Faith pauses to lick her lips quickly before taking a deep breath. "I messed it up at first. Back when I first got to Sunnydale. After I beat Kakistos, I started to realize just how much power I had. And it fucked me up." she says with a sad chuckle. "But I've been tryina get better so I can do it right. Like I said, it's all I have. I didn't finish school, I don't have any family that can help me. All I've ever been decent at is being a slayer. But I can't do that any more. But to answer your question about how I did it? I couldn't do anything else. I can't." she explains. "That make sense?" she asks. Amanda shrugs.
"All except for the part about how you DID it. You're still doin it." she replies. Faith shakes her head.
"Not anymore. I'm powerless. The big bad wolf finally huffed so much my lungs fell out." she responds with a bit of dry humor if it can be called that.
"Huh?" the baby slayer questions.
"I'm out.... I don't have my slayer powers anymore. Call the presses! The world is safe from big bad Faith!" Faith yells jumping up. Her jaw clinches and her arms wave. "Finally people can sleep at night knowin that I'm not out torturing watchers, strangling people, and holding knives to innocent people! All those poor people I hurt for no reason can finally move on." she says trailing off with watery eyes.
"Faith?" the younger slayer tries but Faith doesn't see her anymore. All she sees is everyone she hurt. She sees the fear while she was hurting them. She sees the professor begging her not to stab him. She sees Willow hiding the fear when she holds the knife to her throat. She sees it all. Then she sees herself. In all those positions, begging not to be hurt. She can't make out who has her in those positions but she sees herself sobbing, cowering, afraid. No power to do anything.
"And now I'm getting what I deserve." she whispers.
"No, you're lucky is what you are." Amanda says. "Now you can be normal." she adds.
"Being normal and being powerless aint the same thing kid. You're the lucky one." Faith retorts softly. "Now they can hurt me again and I can't stop them." she says pitifully. Amanda just stares at her, not sure what to say. She can hear someone approach from the distance and whips her head around only to see a tall brunette approaching.
"You are in trouble!" the brunette shrieks at her. Amanda looks confused not really knowing who she was but recognizing her at the same time.
"Huh?" she questions.
"You're not supposed to leave without telling someone you're leaving!" a name matches the face now.
"Sorry Cordelia. I was worried about Faith." Amanda replies to the obviously annoyed brunette.
"And you!" Cordelia starts to turn her wrath on Faith who just stares ahead blankly. She stops before allowing the words to come out and kneels in front of the ex-slayer. "Faith?" she tries only to have Faith blink at her. "Come on. Lets get you back to the hotel." she says reaching out to grab Faith's arm. Faith jerks away, scrambling in the sand. "I was just gonna help you up. Jeez, paranoid much?" she questions.
"You have no idea." Amanda mutters.
"I'm not goin back to the hotel." Faith finally says.
"Why not?" Cordelia asks her. She's a little confused by Faith's behavior but does genuinely want to understand what the girl is feeling so she can help her.
"Because you guys are gonna do to me what I did to you." Faith whispers. Cordelia sits back surprised at this and slightly offended.
"God Faith. Not everybody is a psychopath like you are. Or as Angel insists, used to be. Why would you think that anyway?" She questions not bothering to hide the offense she's taken to that statement.
"Cus I deserve it..." Faith whispers after what Cordelia thinks is forever.