Chapter 1) Sunday
(My rambles are at the bottom. I hope this first chapter is enjoyed!)
Note: Michael (Ethan) is 2 and Steven (Caleb) is 4. Emilie Groome is their mother.
Emilie Groome perched on the edge of the stool, her head propped up by her hand as her eyes stared blankly into the distance. That was how she stayed most days. Barely finding the energy to get dressed sometimes, although this morning she'd managed to pull on a vest, jumper and jeans so she looked half decent.
"Mummy? Muh-mmy?" Clamoured a voice, desperate for attention. She blinked, and then moved her head to see who was talking. It took a lot of effort to even move from that space, zoned out.
"Mmm-hmm?" She murmured, meeting the eye of her oldest, Steven. He smiled at her affectionately.
"Me and Mikey are hungry, can we have lunch now?" Steven asked, giving her his best big eyes. Lunch. Dammit, she'd forgotten about that. Again. If she lived on her own she'd probably end up starving and become a skeleton on the floor because she constantly forgot about meals.
"Mummy?" He asked again. Emilie realized she'd gone deep into thought again. Pull yourself together, she told herself firmly.
"Yeah, sorry, love. Let's make lunch then, baby boy." She smiled. It made her mouth hurt but she did it anyway, ruffling his beach blond hair which was cut short. He always managed to look extremely cute.
She walked over to the fridge and pulled it open, peering in distaste at the few contents. A jar of pickles, a tub of hot dogs which no longer looked edible, bruised apples and a old chicken dinner wrapped in cling film that was going green. Definitely not suitable for the children, she decided sensibly.
"Um...let's go shopping for lunch, shall we? Go and find your brother for me." She said, already feeling overwhelmed by the task ahead. Steven rushed to the other room to find Michael. She scraped her hair back, sighing. She felt sick to the stomach at the tiring thought of going out of the house, her sanctuary, the one place she felt safe and comfortable.
The childish laughter coming from the other room made her smile a little and her anxieties fade slightly.
"What are you little monkeys up to?" Emile asked, a grin creeping over her face when she saw the tickle fight her boys were involved in. Michael was laughing so hard he'd turned red, Steven's fingers scrabbling all over his tummy and smiling widely, giggling to himself.
"Help!" Michael squealed. She scooped him up, and pinched Steven's nose playfully.
"Come on, my boys, let's go to the shops, eh?" She said, placing Michael on the ground and letting them rush to find their shoes. Steven helped Michael as he was the oldest, even though he was only four himself. Emilie put their coats on them, buttoning them up. It was quite cold out, despite it not being Winter yet, it was still chilly outside.
"W-eady!" Michael said, standing up and immediately reaching for his big brother's hand. Steven held on tightly, forever looking after his little brother.
"Let's go then!" She said, letting them lead the way. She closed the door behind her, checking it was locked thrice, and then turned to see her boys already half way down the path.
They lived in quite a safe area. It was a tight place, named Eldwick Close, and their house was squashed by many others attached. The road wasn't too busy, but all the same, she rushed forward and made sure they were safe. The off-licence was only five minutes away, she told herself. She could cope, she could cope. She was a good mum, she muttered to herself.
They reached the off-licence quite quickly, as the boys seemed determined to race each other the whole way, causing Emilie's heart to race as she ran awkwardly close to them, just to make sure.
Hot air flew in their faces as they entered the tightly packed off-licence. Steven grabbed a basket with wheels, which Michael also wanted, so they tried to tear it off each-other until Emilie stopped them.
"Look, behave, please? Just...share it! Michael, you hold there, and Steven, you hold there." She begged them. Luckily, the boys were happy to oblige when she bribed them with chocolate.
She dropped bread in carelessly, and a pack of cheese as Michael seemed to like it, and then some butter and chocolate spread. She grabbed some cartons of juice also, as it was easier for them to drink. Steven supposedly hadn't quite gotten the hang of straws yet, he blew rather than sucked, because he found the bubbles funny.
"Mummy?" Steven asked, tugging at her coat.
"Yep?" She asked whilst comparing prices of packs of crisps. That'd keep them quiet at home, she decided, dumping them in the basket. They didn't go to nursery, so she looked after them all day.
"You forgot stuff for daddy! When he comes home he needs his scratchcards!" Steven reminded her. Emilie's heart sunk. She kneeled beside him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Sweetheart, you know daddy's gone away...he...he won't be coming home for, uh, a little bit of time." She swallowed. This wasn't a conversation she wanted to have in a store, where a shop attendant was already listening in rudely.
"Why?" Michael asked, sucking his thumb.
"Daddy...Daddy is at someone else's home." She admitted.
She couldn't tell them how her husband cheated on her with two women, and then kicked him out, screaming and crying at him. It had only happened yesterday. The boys had assumed it was just another argument, but now, their faces dropped when she reluctantly told them he probably wasn't coming home.
"I want Daddy to come here!" Michael whined, his eyes glazing over with tears.
"Me too!" Steven cried, face red with fury.
"Come on, let's...go pay for this lot, yeah? Let's not cause a scene." She told them, or rather begged. She shot a glare at the shop attendant who was not-so-subtly listening, who scurried off.
"Daddy!" Michael cried, stomping his foot. Then, he looked at Steven, then Emilie, and suddenly held his breath.
Oh God, not here, Emilie thought. Once, he'd done it for so long he'd passed out, she was about to call an ambulance when he'd woken up abruptly, giggling because the stubborn little mite had gotten his way. She really didn't want that to happen again.
"Michael? Breathe! Stop holding your breath this instant!" Emilie ordered, shaking him. Michael crossed his arms defiantly. Steven looked glad his brother was doing something which seemed to be working, and started looking around as if his dad was suddenly going to appear. When he didn't appear, Steven started to call for 'Daddy' loud enough to make someone's eardrums burst.
"Stop!" Emilie pleaded, her son was now turning red. She began to shake him furiously, begging for him to just breathe. A crowd was gathering, muttering words to each other. Emilie knew they all thought she was a bad mother.
"QUIT IT!" She screeched suddenly.
Michael stopped and breathed again. Steven stopped clamouring for daddy. Everyone stopped whispering behind her back. They all stared. Emilie felt red settle over her cheeks, so embarrassed, so guilty. What had she done?
"I can't believe she'd scream at her own children!"
"She's not fit to be a mother,"
"Awful parenting, she ought to get them kids taken away!"
"She can't even control her own bratty children!"
Emilie felt her heart race as she quickly grabbed her son's hands, yanking them through the store, and pulling them out. She forgot the shopping. Michael cried loudly, red with upset and streaked with tears. Steven did the same, howling for all he was worth. People stopped and stared, some even pointed like they'd never seen children in a strop before. Emilie felt like the worst mother in the world.
She ushered them in through the front door, slamming it behind them and leaning on it. They were both hiccuping from the sobbing they'd done, but at least they'd stopped crying. Emilie, however, felt her eyes fill up with tears as she slid down the door, burying her head in her knees brought up to her chest.
"Mummy?" she heard, and then she felt tiny fingers nudge her.
"Go and leave me alone, you bad, BAD children!" She shouted.
She immediately felt sorry.
"I'm so...I didn't mean to...babies, come here!" She pleaded, but it was too late.
Her boys rushed away, terrified, beginning to cry.
She'd scared her own boys. She was a hopeless mother.
She didn't see the point of anything anymore. If she couldn't even look after her children, there was no point.
No point at all.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Emilie wasn't sure how long she'd been crying. Her eyes felt sore and wet, and her cheeks were damp and stained. She wiped her face, breathing heavily.
She wasn't good enough to be a mother, she told herself. Her boys probably hated her now.
She got up, groaning with effort, and walked through the hall to try and find them. She wasn't looking very long. There was a noise of sniffing from their bedroom upstairs.
After walking up the mountain of stairs, she pushed open the door to a sight that broke her heart. Her boys were hidden under the bed covers, clearly hugging together. She could hear little gasps as they heard her creaking across the flooring. Slowly, she pulled open the cover. Michael's head was pressed into Steven's chest, wetting it with tears, and Steven was stroking his hair lovingly, hugging him so tightly as if he was never letting him go. Emilie swallowed back tears.
"I'm so sorry," She whispered. "I got angry. I shouldn't have. I was worried about you, and I got mad, I'm the naughty one." She told them. Steven finally looked her in the eyes, his own blue ones matching her own. He slowly let go of Michael, who sat up as well, his thumb in his mouth. Steven was the first to rush into his mother's arms, soon followed by his brother.
"We're sorry, mummy."
"So sowwy,"
"It's okay, my babies. It's okay. I love you both so much…" She told them, closing her eyes as she hugged them tightly to her chest.
They stayed like that for quite a long time.
First off, I apologize for the lack of writing! I am still continuing 'A Million Miles Away', it's just that I've got also got a million more fanfictions planned which I'm writing simultaneouslyin advance, ha! I'm also kinda struggling for inspiration without making a rip-off of several movies, so bare with me!
Secondly. Casualty didn't completely show Emilie's side of the Huntington's/Adoption storyline and left a few unanswered questions (don't get be wrong it was beautifully portrayed, Carol Royle is an amazing actress). I thought that it was a cool idea to write what might've happened before/after her boys were taken away, also exploring the mental health side of things very briefly and where their father might've gone. This will have five or six chapters to it, and I'm going to update every Tuesday just so I can get into a regular updating schedule! Anyway, that's all I'm going to say, until next time! (Any reviews and feedback would be appreciated, it keeps me going! Thank you for reading!)