Disclaimer: Anne McCaffrey owns everything. I wish I could own Pern. But then again, Don't we all?

Author's note: MUST READ! Ok one or two out of cannon stuff for Pern. I know that no rider could ever be jealous because of the color of their dragon, and my charecters are not by any means jealous of colors. The jealousy thing will be explained later with attention and status. And this is a none AVIS story. And girls can be impressed by greens. Ok? Enjoy!!! Oh, and criticism and any kind of review is always welcome.

I've never understood some emotions that people of our Hold have. Anger, is a waste of energy. Someone might have done something wrong, but grudges are silly. My mother always said, "Don't let the sun go down on your anger." I never had to worry about the sun or Red Star...or anything going down on my anger, because I didn't waste time trying to keep it.

I understood sadness better. Someone dies, nothing is going right, the Hold is failing. That particular emotion is justified to me. But things do change, and time moves on as surely as the Red Star spin's Thread. You move on with life.

But envy, that is one emotions that I could not understand. I tried again and again to wrap my mind around the idea. But it's incomprhensibale. Why should you be upset over what someone else has? More crops, is better at the craft that you work at, there are more than a million marks that could trigger the hot unexplainable thing that is jealousy.

I never had to worry about jealousy. Not with my best friend. Tara and I were inseparable. Except when it came to chores and lessons. She is much better at lessons then I am. I thought she should have became a healer, and put her intelligent mind where it was needed. The Healer Craft was very hard I had heard. The Harper didn't agree with me. He said that her voice is one that must be shared with all of Pern. Fort Hold never had a problem with either of us. Tara was asked to sing at all the Gathers, and we kept the mischief down to a minimum.

And even though be both knew in our heart of hearts that it could never happen, we shared dreams of becoming Dragonriders. To ride a small, but valuable green as she charged into battle to sear the deadly Threads as they fell to the fertile land, searing them to ash just before they hit. To be a hero of Pern. And when one, or either of us was feeling down, we even dared to dream of riding a Queen dragon. A golden beauty and fight with a flamethrower in hand, burning what others had missed. But we didn't delude ourselves into dreaming false dreams.

Even the day that Fort Weyr came on Search, after N'ton had flown the Senior Queen and become the new Weyrleader; we didn't hold much hope for our daydreams.

I had just celebrated my 17th Turn. Tara was born a month before me, and had been teasing me good heartedly about how wonderful it was to be a turn older. Now, she was playing with my hair. I didn't understand how she could love my golden curly hair, and deep lake blue eyes. I loved her straight brown hair, and warm brown eyes. I had joked that she was made for a brown dragon when we were little.

The Harper had come rushing into the hall, gasping for breath, mumbling that Dragonmen had come on Search. We had hurried out with the rest of hopefuls; nervously smoothing down our skirts. Although we tried to squash the flame of hope, it would not die.

The dragons poked and prodded, sniffed and snorted. They had nearly knocked me over in the process. Tara had caught me, lending a supporting hand of balance until my own poise was regained. I flashed her a smile of gratitude.

We waited breath held, wondering how exactly this Search would turn out. The riders seemed to confer with their dragons, and time started to slow down. Finally, they turned toward the awaiting hopfull children and young adults. My brain told my heart to stop beating. Time had gone from painfully fast, to very slow, to trickling by, to stopping completely. I heard Tara's breath catch as the men began to pass by the front of our line. As they came closer, I began to feel a little sick.

Suddenly they were infront of us, as though they had appeared from between. They had only chosen one other boy. He had always been picked on at the Hold, and was the same number of Turns as Tara and I. A blue rider pointed to me, and I hurried forward to take my place next to the boy. How had I made it? Tara was still standing in line. The blue rider conferred with his beast, and I flashed her a smile. She seemed too pale. But the rider nodded his head and brought her forward to stand by me. I could breath again, my heart restarted, and time went back to it's normal pace.

"These are our candidates for the new clutch." His booming voice penetrated my supor, and over joyed, we all raced back to our holds to pack.

OoOoOoOoO

I had been at Fort Weyr for over a week, and both Tara and I loved every minute of it. If Tara was upset that in Search I had been chosen with her as an afterthought, she gave no indication, and I put it to the back of my mind.

Our chores had been done each day dutifully, and many of them were only a little different from those that we had preformed in the Hold.

Helping with dragon healing was my favorite. At first I had been clumsy, not sure how delicate I needed to be. The brown dragon Marth, was forgiving though. Under his rider's tutoring and patience I did better. Tara was helping a dainty green, and having no trouble.

It was early morning when Hatching was begun. Every candidate had been told often enough to drop everything, run to change, and get to the hatching grounds. None of the soon to be dragonriders ever imagined that the Hatching would come when most were still asleep. I hadn't been sleeping well, having nightmares of Hatching, and having to many thoughts in my brain to do anything but sit and ponder them.

The humming of dragons welcoming the new hatchlings reached my ears before it reached of the other candidates. Tara had been awake instantaneously, coming into my small alcove, pushing the curtain aside, eyes wide. I had given her a nod.

Other candidates had begun to stir, and stifled cries of shock woke the others. I had grabbed my white candidate robe of the hook, pulling it on as fast as I could with ripping the fabric. I wondered if other candidates had become Weyrlings in this robe. Had they become greens? Were some lucky enough to impress golds?

Tara had disappeared, and had been ready slightly after myself. Everyone had begun to run towards the Hatching Grounds as they humming intensified in decibels. We made it to the grounds in time, seeing the cavern fill up quickly all around us. Or, that's what it had felt like. Tara was alive as excitement. She wanted to be a Dragonrider far more then myself. She had daydreamed of it since we were seven. Ten turns hadn't changed her enthusiasm.

The sands were hot under foot, and as all the candidates formed a loose circle around the eggs, we shifted from foot to foot.

"Why by the egg must the sands be so hot?" One of the boys had complained. Tara had responded gently, knowing that everyone was a little cranky.

"Because the eggs need to be kept warm until they hatch I suppose." I beamed proudly. She knew everything.

As the first crack was made Tara caught my hand. Her palms were sweaty, and she probably had butterflies in her stomach. I squeezed back, hoping that she could be lucky.

A bronze hatchling cried out, piteous from hunger. He looked around and noticed the boy from our hold. The little dragon made no hesitation, but headed for the boy. I had to smile, happy for him. Others in the crowd whispered. Some saying,

"First hatchling, a bronze that's a good sign."

The even continued; bronzes, browns, greens, and blues choosing their life partners. Girls who not yet been chosen had edged towards the one or two green egges that were left, or the Golden Queen egg, hope returning to them.

The last green had hatched, heading straight towards Tara and I right out of the egg. I stepped aside, ceratin of who the little dragon wanted. Tara did the same. But dragon's don't make mistakes and headed straight for Tara. She had been startled, falling to the sands. Her dragon was at her side in a matter of seconds.

I smiled at Tara, wondering how it felt to be impressed. Her eyes had filled with tears of joy. I had turned to see the last egg crack, and watched a blue stumble out, to choose a boy near the back of the room.

I sighed, the hope that had stirred deflating. I knew the gold's egg had shattered, had seen out of the corner of my eye the girls rush forward to meet the little Queen. I had heard the gasp, and thought she was impressed. And I had thought it was Tara calling,

Wait! Aira stop!

I turned, surprised to hear anyone call for me when they had their dragons to take care of. I had made several friends over the last week or two, but none so close as for them to call me back. But the voice was too beautiful to be any of my friends. It was perfect. But the perfection was being marred. It was worried about something. I wanted to help it.

My eyes found the rainbow ones infront of me. I was lost.

How beautiful.

How intelligent.

How amazing.

How brave .

How wonderful.

How strong willed.

How perfect.

Perfect.

I smiled, perfectly happy to be with Carmenth. Carmenth who was very hungry. "Food!" I rasped out. Carmenth needed the food.

I walked out of the hatching grounds that day, a gold weyrling. I lost my innocence that day. For after that day, I found out what jealousy could be and do to someone you cared about. That day, I found myself in a changed world.

OoOoOoOoo

Author note again: what did you all think? I will continue this with Tara's perspective next chapter. Please review. Even if you hated it. I wanna know why. I tried hard not make a Mary-Sue character, and even didn't make it Benden and Ruatha like I usually do. lol tell me what you thought!

Kate.