You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi.
Stranger: asl?
You: What does "asl" mean?
Stranger: age sex location
You: Oh. Thank you for explaining that, everyone else just disconnected.
You: I've existed for millennia; I used to be genderless but my vessel is a male, and I can't leave my vessel anymore, so I suppose you could say that I'm a male now; I'm currently residing in a bunker that Dean says I can't disclose the location of, so I cannot provide you with that information. My apologies.
Stranger: …cas?
You: I would prefer that you call me Castiel. I've been informed that nicknames should be reserved for certain people only. But how did you know my name?
Stranger: GODDAMMIT CAS
You: Castiel, please. Not "Cas". And how did you know my name? Who are you? Are you a demon?
Stranger: ITS ME U IDIOT N U CANT JUST ASK PPL IF THEYRE DEMONS
You: Unless your name is "me", that response doesn't answer any of my questions at all. And I do not appreciate the insult.
You: …Unless your name is "me u idiot", in which case I apologize for assuming that it was an insult.
Stranger: dean!
You: Dean?
Stranger: yes
You: Why do you want to know about Dean?
You: If your intention is to harm him, I should warn you that I am now very well-trained in the use of firearms. You will not succeed.
Stranger: no u dumb SOB i mean its me, Dean!
You: …Dean?
Stranger: yes! now can u explain 2 me y ur on omegle?
You: I saw you on the website once, and I was curious. What does "SOB" mean?
Stranger: son of a bitch. and now u noe wat omegle is so get off
Stranger: in fact u shuld get off d internet altogether
You: Why?
Stranger: bcos if ur stupid enuf 2 giv random strangrs ur real info den u shuldnt be on d internet
You: But you asked.
Stranger: juz cos sum1 asks doenst mean u shuld giv it 2 dem! n u didnt noe it was me b4 u told me all dat stuff
You: I don't understand. If people aren't supposed to give you their personal information, then why did you ask them for it?
Stranger: …nvm. juz get off d internet n go 2 slp alrite?
You: What does "nvm" mean?
Stranger: nevermind
You: I'm trying to learn here, Dean. You're the one who asked me to make an effort to "fit in". It hasn't been easy, and I've been trying my absolute best because you asked me to, but you can't even take the time to explain to me what a word means?
Stranger: "NVM" IS SHORT FOR "NEVERMIND"
You: Oh.
You: I understand now.
You: Thank you, Dean.
Stranger: wtv
You: What does "wtv" mean?
Stranger: IT MEANS "WHATEVER" DO U RLY HAV 2 ASK WAT EVRY SINGLE WORD MEANS!
You: I'm fairly certain that my vocabulary is larger than yours, Dean. If you would just spell out the words properly, I'm sure I would understand you.
Stranger: fine are you happy now
You: Punctuation and capitalization would also help.
Stranger: FINE! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
You: I'm considerably happier than I was before, yes. Thank you.
Stranger: Okay, whatever, now will you please just go the fuck to sleep?
You: Why are you so upset that I'm using the Internet? You and Sam use it all the time.
Stranger: The internet's fine for research and stuff, just stay away from sites like omegle.
Stranger: And for Christ's sake stop telling people that you're old and have a dick and live in a secret bunker! How many people have you been telling that to?!
You: None, all the ones that asked disconnected as soon as I asked them what "asl" means.
Stranger: Good.
You: Why is that good?
Stranger: Because you shouldn't be giving out information like that to STRANGERS, they could be anyone! Do you even know why they asked?!
You: Yes.
Stranger: …And you know what they actually want?
You: Yes, Dean, I know what they want, and I'm also quite willing to give it to them.
Stranger: WTF CAS!
You: What does "WTF" mean?
Stranger: IT MEANS WHAT THE FUCK!
Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK, CAS!
You: I'm not sure I understand your question. Is there something that comes after "WHAT THE FUCK"?
Stranger: ITS NOT A FUCKING QUSTION CAS ITS
You: It's what?
You: Dean?
You: Are you still there?
Stranger: Are you doing drugs too?
You: No. Why do you ask?
Stranger: You sure? Not even painkillers? What about alcohol?
You: I haven't taken any painkillers ever since I recovered from those injuries, and I don't drink anything other than what you offer me on occasion.
You: Why would you think I'm doing drugs or drinking excessively?
Stranger: Because…"women and decadence", that's what you said yourself.
You: I don't remember saying that. When did I say it?
Stranger: …You didn't. Not now-you, anyway.
You: You've encountered another version of me before?
Stranger: It doesn't matter. Just remember to stay away from absinthe and amphetamines and shit like that, understand?
You: I understand.
Stranger: Good.
You: Dean?
Stranger: What?
You: Are you upset with me?
Stranger: No.
You: Are you sure? It took you a suspiciously long amount of time to type a two-letter word.
Stranger: I'm not upset, okay?
You: Are you angry?
Stranger: No! It's fine.
You: You only ever say that when it's not.
Stranger: I'm not angry or upset or anything like that, okay?
Stranger: It just kind of surprised me that you're…you know.
You: ...No, I don't know. It surprised you that I'm what?
Stranger: That you're…doing stuff…on omegle.
You: You mean chatting with random strangers?
Stranger: Yeah.
You: What's wrong with that? I'm just talking to people.
Stranger: There wouldn't be anything wrong with it if you were "just talking"!
You: But that's exactly what I was doing, Dean, though I admit I haven't been very successful at it. The people here are very impatient and often disconnect without a word.
Stranger: No, you weren't "just talking"! You said it yourself, you're willing to just..."give it to them"!
You: I still don't understand what's wrong with that.
Stranger: Okay, fine, there's nothing "wrong" with that, and I know I'm the last person who should be judging you about this sort of thing.
Stranger: I just never thought you would be one of them, that's all.
You: What do you mean by "them"?
You: People who "give it willingly"?
Stranger: Yeah, I guess.
You: But don't you think that if everyone were to "give it willingly", the world would be a much better place?
You: Dean? Are you still there?
Stranger: What the hell's gotten into you?
Stranger: Even to me that sounds fucked up!
Stranger: Just because you're not an angel anymore doesn't mean you're worthless, Cas! It doesn't mean you should just go around giving it to whoever will take it!
You: But if someone needs it, then why shouldn't I give it to them?
Stranger: Because it should mean something to you! You deserve more than that!
You: I know it means a lot to you, Dean. That's actually part of the reason why I'm trying to give it to as many people as I can.
Stranger: What the hell are you talking about?
You: I'm trying to help people the way you helped me.
Stranger: What?
You: I don't know how I can make that any clearer. Could you be more specific on what you don't understand?
Stranger: What the hell do you mean, help people the way I helped you? When did I ever do that to you?
Stranger: Wait.
Stranger: When you said "give it to them", what exactly did you mean by "it"? What were you giving?
You: Friendship, of course.
You: That's what they want, isn't it? I see no other reason why anyone would want to know a stranger's age, sex and location if they weren't trying to make friends.
Stranger: Oh my god Cas.
You: I know that particular form of blasphemy is a common expression, but putting the word "God" next to my name brings up rather unpleasant memories of the Leviathans writhing inside me.
Stranger: Sorry.
You: No, it was my fault, you don't have anything to apologize for. It's just that it's uncomfortable for me whenever I'm reminded of that incident.
You: But that's exactly why I'm trying to help others, Dean. Even after I made so many wrong choices, even after I hurt your brother, you forgave me, and if I didn't have you as a friend when I fell, I don't think I could have coped as well as I did. I think the people on this website are in need of friendship, or why else would they want to spend their time talking to strangers? And if I can offer that, if I can help someone who might be going through a difficult time and be in desperate need for someone to talk to, then why shouldn't I?
Stranger: …That's great, Cas, it really is. Warms the cockles of my heart to know that you haven't changed, or at least not in the way that I thought you did.
Stranger: It's just that not everyone on the internet thinks the way you do, okay? Most of them aren't into the whole friendship thing at all.
You: Then what is it that they want?
Stranger: They're trying to figure out if they should start hitting on you.
You: Hitting on me?
Stranger: Flirting. Although a lot of them skip that and jump straight to the sex chatting. And don't ask me to explain in detail what sex chatting is, because I won't. You're better off not knowing.
You: Oh.
You: I understand now why you reacted so strongly.
You: I assure you I do not have any inclination to be involved in any form of sexual intercourse with strangers, Dean.
Stranger: That's really, really good to know. Keep it that way, okay?
You: Okay.
You: Dean?
Stranger: Yeah?
You: Were you trying to have a "sex chat" with a stranger?
Stranger: What?
Stranger: No! Of course not!
You: But the very first thing you typed when this conversation started was "asl".
You: And you said most of the people who do that aren't interested in just a friendship.
You: So were you trying to have a "sex chat" with a stranger?
Stranger: No!
You: Then why did you want to know my age, sex and location?
Stranger: It's complicated, okay?
You: You have attractive features, Dean. You would have no trouble finding a woman at a bar who wants to have sexual intercourse with you.
Stranger: I know that, it's just that I haven't done that in a while, alright?
You: I've noticed. Why is that?
Stranger: Because I'm trying to figure some stuff out.
You: What stuff?
Stranger: None of your business!
Stranger: Why are you so eager to get me laid, anyway?
You: I'm not.
Stranger: Didn't seem that way when you kept asking about it a minute ago.
You: I just want you to be happy, and since much of your happiness seems to be derived from having sexual intercourse, I just wanted to help you "figure some stuff out".
Stranger: Gee, thanks.
You: I understand that a "wingman" is sometimes required when one makes excursions to a bar. If you're in need of a "wingman", perhaps I could help.
Stranger: Cas, no offence, but you would probably be the worst wingman ever.
You: Is it because literal wings are required? I know I don't have mine anymore, but if you could explain how other humans obtain their "wings" for the task, perhaps I could still be of help.
Stranger: No! I didn't mean it like that! Geez!
You: Then why can't I help?
Stranger: Because your social skills suck, and because I don't want to get laid, okay? At least not with some random chick.
You: But you're obviously sexually frustrated, or you wouldn't have tried to have a sex chat with a stranger.
Stranger: DAMMIT CAS I WASN'T TRYING TO DO THAT!
You: …If you say so.
Stranger: …..Okay, I was kind of trying to, alright? Just not in the way you think, I wasn't doing it because I was horny.
You: Then why were you doing it?
Stranger: Just drop it okay.
You: As you wish.
Stranger: Good.
Stranger: If it was this easy to get Sam to quit asking about stuff that would be awesome.
Stranger: Sammy's such a bitch.
Stranger: Hey.
Stranger: Cas?
Stranger: Still there?
You: Yes, Dean, I'm still here.
Stranger: Well why are you so quiet all of a sudden?
You: Because you told me to drop it.
Stranger: I meant the subject, not the whole conversation!
You: I couldn't think of anything else to say. I can't stop trying to think of a reason why you might be unhappy.
Stranger: Oh come on! Now you're just making me feel bad.
You: I apologize.
Stranger: …Do you really wanna know?
You: I can understand if it's something you don't want to share, but I would feel better if I could help with it. If you want to just tell me how I can help without telling me any other details, I would be fine with that, too.
Stranger: There aren't really a lot of details to tell, it's all jumbled up in my head, anyway.
Stranger: But here goes.
Stranger: I was trying to have a sex chat.
You: I surmised as much.
Stranger: It's not what you think! I wasn't just trying to jerk off.
You: Were you trying to find a woman at a nearby location so you could have actual sexual intercourse with her?
Stranger: No.
You: Were you trying to find a suitable woman for Sam so that he could have sexual intercourse with her?
Stranger: NO! Why did you have to put THAT image in my head? Jesus!
You: Then why were you trying to find women through Omegle?
Stranger: I wasn't trying to find a woman, okay? I was trying to find a dude!
You: …You were trying to have a sex chat with a male?
Stranger: No! I was not trying to have a sex chat with a male!
You: …Was that sarcasm?
Stranger: NO!
You: …Was that sarcasm too?
Stranger: I wasn't trying to have a sex chat with a male, it was more like…I was trying to see if I would want to have a sex chat with a male.
You: Oh.
You: I think I understand now.
You: You're having doubts about your sexual orientation?
Stranger: I guess. Yeah. Whatever. Good job, Sherlock.
You: And…have you resolved your doubts?
Stranger: No. I only found one guy, and I disconnected after about two minutes because it was weird and creepy as hell.
You: Wouldn't that mean that you aren't sexually interested in men?
Stranger: ….I don't know.
You: Maybe you should try again.
Stranger: I don't want to.
You: You would prefer not to find out?
Stranger: I don't know, okay?
You: I think I have the solution.
Stranger: You do?
You: Yes. Instead of your usual type of bars, perhaps you should try visiting a gay bar instead.
Stranger: …
You: Does that help?
Stranger: No! I am NOT gonna walk into a gay bar and start hitting on random men!
You: Why not?
Stranger: Because I don't wanna sleep with random men!
You: Oh.
Stranger: Why are you trying so hard to pimp me out to random men, anyway?!
You: Dean, I'm not at all fond of the idea of "pimping" you out to random men. I'm just trying to help.
Stranger: Yeah. Okay. Brilliant job you're doing so far.
You: But didn't you just solve the problem by yourself? You just said in no uncertain terms that you don't want to sleep with men.
Stranger: I said random. I don't want to sleep with random men.
You: Is there a specific man that you want to sleep with?
Stranger: I don't know. Kind of, I guess.
You: I see.
You: Is it Aaron Bass of the Judah Initiative?
Stranger: What? No! And how do you know about him, anyway?
You: Sam told me about him. From what I understand, he was your "gay thing".
Stranger: Yeah, well, Sam's a tattletale bitch.
You: Was it Aaron Bass that caused you to have doubts about your sexuality?
Stranger: Hah! He wished. Nah, it happened quite some time before that.
You: When did it happen?
Stranger: …There wasn't like some big, gay revelation or anything, it was just…one day I just realized that I was thinking about ysomeone a lot, and he just happened to be in a dude.
Stranger: *someone, typo, sorry.
You: …In a dude? You mean he was in the middle of having sexual intercourse with another man?
Stranger: *just happened to be a dude. Typo again, sorry.
You: That's fine. Did you try telling him about it?
Stranger: No. That was kinda hard to do, considering the fact that he died.
You: Dean, that's…horrible.
You: My condolences.
Stranger: No, no, he…didn't exactly die, I just thought he did. Kind of.
You: Oh. That's…wonderful.
Stranger: Yeah. I guess. But if he hadn't died I wouldn't have realized all the stuff.
Stranger: That I was feeling.
Stranger: Or whatever it is.
You: Why do you speak as though he really did die?
Stranger: …He kind of did.
You: He's a supernatural being?
Stranger: Yeah, I guess you could say that.
You: That's…quite surprising.
Stranger: Why?
You: Because you're a hunter who hunts supernatural beings.
Stranger: Oh! No, he's not like that. He's different from the rest of them.
You: I see. He sounds very special.
Stranger: Oh, very. Dude's nothing like the others of his kind.
You: That's…wonderful.
You: Did you find him while you were on a hunt?
Stranger: ….It was kind of the other way around.
You: He found you?
Stranger: Yeah.
Stranger: Actually, now that I think of it, sparks really flew between us the first time we met. How's that for an epic love story, huh?
You: That does seem to be quite…wonderful.
Stranger: Yeah. And you know what else? After he died, it was a complete fluke that I found him again. Wasn't even looking for him specifically, and he just…showed up.
You: That's wonderful, Dean.
Stranger: I know, right? He wasn't in good shape, though, and then after that he was pretty much an idiot, got himself stuck somewhere and refused to let me help him get out, but…meh. Things worked out in the end and he's okay now.
You: That's absolutely wonderful, Dean.
Stranger: What makes the story really bizarre is that we keep getting separated, but then we keep finding our way back. Kinda like the couples in those stupid chick flicks Sam watches.
Stranger: And if you ever tell Sam that I compared my life to a chick flick I will murder you in your sleep.
Stranger: Anyway…it's like some weird force of the universe or something.
You: Like fate?
Stranger: I guess so.
You: I thought you didn't believe in fate.
Stranger: I don't.
Stranger: Or…I didn't…? I don't know, man. I mean, I don't believe anything's written in stone, or we wouldn't have been able to stop the apocalypse…but I dunno. Everything's different with him.
You: How so?
Stranger: Dude messes with my head. I get pissed off with him a lot, because he's the most stubborn, naïve idiot sometimes, but the last time I tried to stay angry with him, he went off by himself and…got injured real bad, and it's kinda hard to stay angry after something like that happens, right? Priorities get sorted out.
You: I suppose.
You: Are you in love with him?
Stranger: ….Honestly?
Stranger: I got no clue.
Stranger: I just know I can't lose him.
Stranger: See what I mean about him messing with my head? He gets me to say stupid stuff that sounds like it's straight out of The Notebook or something.
You: And you haven't told him any of this?
Stranger: Well…no. Not directly. Kind of just hinting at it, and I'm not sure he actually gets any of it.
You: If your feelings for him are so strong, why haven't you told him yet? Is it possible you could be mistaken?
Stranger: Mistaken…like…how?
You: Is it possible that what you feel for him is merely a temporary infatuation? Perhaps your subconscious knows this and is wisely prohibiting you from saying anything to him.
Stranger: Temporary? Heh. I dunno, Cas, does a few years sound temporary to you?
You: …You've been feeling this way for years?
Stranger: I guess so. Just took me way too long to realize it. I mean, come on, he was willing to give up everything for me, and I seriously mean everything, even his life a couple times. Kinda hard for anyone else to beat that, don't you think? In fact I can't think of anyone else who would think it was worth it to do that for me.
You: You can't think of anyone else who would do that? Anyone else at all?
Stranger: Well…Sam would, I guess, but I don't think he's interested in having sex with me, so…
You: And you really can't think of anyone else who might do that, or may have already done that?
Stranger: What, have sex with me?
You: Give up everything, including their life for you.
Stranger: Oh. Right.
Stranger: …No. He's pretty much the only one. And I don't think I need or even want anyone else to do that for me, either.
You: I see.
Stranger: Yeah. So. That's about it.
Stranger: Cas?
Stranger: You still there, buddy?
Stranger: Any more bright ideas to help me find true love and happiness or whatever they call it these days?
You: It's getting late, Dean. I'm tired. Goodnight.
Stranger: Dude, it's not even ten o'clock yet. What're you talking about?
Stranger: Cas?
You have disconnected.