A/N Yes, I have come up with another sappy and pointless Mondler (AU pregnancy) one-shot. There just aren't enough of these on here. This is Chandler's POV. I greatly appreciate any kind of feedback!
I take in a deep breath and watch the city that is bustling with life, even at night, from a distance. The city that has been my home as long as I can remember. The city where I grew up, learnt that my friends are my family. The city in which I have found the love of my life and the city where our future will be taking place.
I run my hand over the rugged stones that form our balcony. I stand there in silence for another while until the urge to be with her increases and I ultimately make my way back into the purple apartment through the narrow window. As I climb through it I wonder how long it's been since she has been out here.
The YooHoo bottle still in hands, I silently make my way to the kitchen and place the empty beverage in the trash, cleaning up every oh-so-tiny proof that I have been up at night. Then I stifle a yawn and enter our bedroom where Monica is still sound asleep under the covers. I watch as she sleeps so peacefully in our bed, her chest rising up and down with each breath she unknowingly takes.
Truth be told, I've had a tough time finding sleep lately. Naturally, it has something to do with Monica's state. Actually it has everything to do with Monica's state. I'm not sure if I just want her to get as much sleep as possible without any interruptions - or if it's the feelings my new and special father-to-be status bring along. I constantly worry about my wife and my unborn baby, and the nights are the worst. I know I have to be awake in case anything happens, otherwise I would not be able to forgive myself.
On top of that, I get to watch my beautiful wife for hours without any interruptions. Well, except for those nights when she wakes up at 3am and tells me about her weird (food and sex) cravings that I obviously try to satisfy. Or when she suddenly needs to pee in the middle of the night because the baby is pushing on her bladder. In these moments I feel pretty bad. After all, I'm the one who put her into that state. And I can't do anything to help her. I'm not even sure if she wants my help; whoever knows Monica is entirely aware that it has always been her dream to carry a child and that she is one hell of a strong and self-reliant person.
Nontheless I can't help feeling that way. I haven't told Monica about these musings and my sleepless nights, though. I just don't want her to worry.
I carefully move from my rooted spot near the bed and plant my behind on my still empty side of our bed. I don't take my eyes off Monica as I quietly cover my body with the sheets, moving my sleep-deprived self closer to her until my arm is able to wrap around her. I only dare to pull her closer as it had become a nightly routine for me and I know that she doesn't wake up during it. I'd hate myself if I was the one to wake her up during her much-needed restful nights.
My face finds the crook of her neck and I plant a soft kiss, light as a feather, on her bare skin, subconsciously snuggling closer to her. Even in the darkness I can see the glow of pregnancy radiating from her skin. She has always been perfect to me, but it seems growing a person makes her even more impeccable. I grin to myself, suddenly very proud of my achievement.
The Achievement suddenly makes its presence known under the palm of my hand and I quickly shoot a glance at Monica, hoping she won't wake up. The movements get more intense, Monica still sleeping through all of it. Man, the pregnancy really seems to draw every ounce of energy that is still left out of her. I silently pray that she stays asleep so I can enjoy some alone-time with my still unborn child. Another thing I don't like to admit to Monica, but I am a tiny bit jealous of all the time my wife and my baby get to spend together at the moment. Only a tiny bit. Maybe 98% happy and only 2% jealous.
"Hey there, little kicky," I whisper as quietly as possible to The Achievement, my hand cautiously rubbing Monica's bump. She sometimes makes fun of me for talking so much to the baby, but I'm convinced that my son or daughter hears everything and so I'm silently hoping that he or she will already hear my words and get used to my extraordinary sarcasm. And perhaps even pick up some of my wit already. Okay, I realise that is very unlikely. And something that Monica surely would not be too thrilled about.
Apparently The Achievement enjoys my touch as the movements are now slowing down, the occasional jab meeting my palm. I can't help but grin each time the baby makes its presence known; it makes both of us calmer knowing the little one is alive and well. Perhaps it is also the knowledge that this might be our only pregnancy that keeps me up at night. I have the need to savour every single moment. The past few months have been passing at the speed of light and sleep has become an unnecessary commodity for me.
I rest my head back on the pillow next to Monica's, my hand still protecting the life that is growing in her womb. Eventually, my eyelids feel heavy as stone and I drift off to a few hours of much-needed sleep.
[-]
I am woken by the sunlight hitting my face and the first thing I notice is that the other side of the bed next to me is empty. I let out a groan and rub my eyes, sitting up and letting out another grunt when I notice the time. Thank God for Saturdays.
My only hope is that our close-knit group of friends has not yet found its way to our usually well-laid breakfast table. I let out a breath of relief when I open the door and find the apartment still deserted. However, it also makes me wonder where my wife – and more importantly, my baby – are. Just as I'm about to go into Chandler-panic-mode, I notice the soft music coming from the bathroom. A little relieved, I make my way over there and knock softly before entering.
And there she is, spread out in the bathtub in her entire glory, the bubbles covering most of her beautiful naked body (to my own disappointment). However, they fail to cover up the bulging bump that is, except for her head, the only thing I can see.
"Morning, honey," I say quietly, not sure if it's because I don't want to distroy the perfect image in front of me, or because I am still very tired. I sit down on the edge of the bathtub and smile at my wife.
She grins back up at me and replies with "good morning, daddy" and I swear I can feel my heart constrict in my chest. We both smile at each other for a second until I notice something else in her gaze.
"How are you feeling?" I ask, not out of habit, but rather because I can sense that something is wrong with Monica. I try my best to remain calm; try to convince myself that I am overreacting again and that I need to fucking chill.
She looks somewhat surprised. Oh God, she's probably completely creeped out by my ability to read her face and body by now.
"I feel big," she then confesses and I need to pull myself together as not to admit the amount of relief I am feeling at this very moment.
"Like, I'm only due in five weeks and I already have no idea how and where this baby is going to find more space to grow," she continues, her reply followed by a sharp intake of breath as she arches her back, her belly becoming impossibly larger.
I shoot her a sympathetic smile, as sympathetic as I can manage, given the fact that I'm only the sperm guy.
"I'm pretty sure The Achievement will find a way to squish your organs even more so he or she will find some space in there," I joke.
I watch her roll her eyes. Rolling her eyes has become one of her favourite ways to reply to basically anything I say to her. At least when it's in regard to the pregnancy.
"How many times have I told you to stop calling our baby 'The Achievement'? I don't appreciate that nickname and I doubt the baby will once it's older and we tell him we named him or her something that impersonal and tacky during the pregnancy."
She now focuses her attention on rearranging the bubbles and I frown, disappointed once more. I only hope my baby will appreciate my cool sense of humour more than my wife does. I decide to drop the topic, once more agreeing with Monica.
"You're right. I'll try to stop."
Monica shoots me another glance that has disbelief written all over her face and I try to make up for it by giving her one of my lopsides grins that I know she can't resist. It seems to be working, at least her mouth curls into a tiny smile. Or maybe I'm just imagining things.
Her wet hand finds the side of my unshaven face and she looks me deep in the eye. "You look pretty worn out. Did you sleep at all last night?"
I try my hardest to put on an upbeat and vivid expression as I sit up straighter.
"What?! No, I'm feeling great! I haven't slept like this in ages," I lie and I think she sees right through me, for she tilts her head and gives me that incredulouslook again.
"I saw the three empty YooHoo bottles, Chandler. And don't tell me that's because you're sleepwalking. That excuse doesn't work anymore."
My body slumps down and I know that lying to her is a lost cause. And also not something that Dr Phil recommends when it comes to marriage.
"I was up again. I just couldn't sleep." I hope that she drops the topic; I'm just too shy to admit the real reason to her, I guess.
"Chandler, please do me one favour. Just tell me what's bothering you at night. We're married and you know you can tell me everything. I might not understand, perhaps it's some guy thing, but just please let me in on what is going on inside of here." And then she taps my chest and I know she demands to know the truth. I take in a deep breath, not even sure why exactly I am so scared to tell her.
"It's because of the baby."
She looks at me and for the first time in ages, I can't read her expression.
Is she mad at me? Confused? In disbelief? About to laugh?
I decide to further explain. "It might sound creepy, but I love watching you sleep. And I just want to make sure that both of you are okay. I want to be there for you around the clock, just in case something happens. And on top of that, I'm nervous as hell. I can't stop thinking about the future and I want to make sure that you two have everything you need. All the time."
Ironically, telling her that didn't feel as hard as I had imagined.
Her expression softens once more and I feel her wet hand cling to my own. All of a sudden I hate the fact that she's in the tub and I'm not.
"Chandler. That's not creepy at all, that is the sweetest thing ever." She pauses and I know that there's more to come.
"But we're doing just fine. You can't control every aspect of our lives. I'll let you know if I don't feel well or have any weird cravings." We both smile at that.
"You have got to sleep. The baby will be here before you know it and we'll have plenty of sleepless nights ahead of us as it is."
I feel my mouth open involuntarily. "I know that, and that's another reason why I stay up at night, Mon. I don't want to miss anything. You are so lucky that the baby is with you all the time, and I know it's stupid but sometimes I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on things."
I am surprised to see tears sting in her eyes and for a second I'm sure it's my fault.
"Honey, I had no idea you felt that way. But nature has intended for women to grow the babies." Before I can let out an incredulous snort, she goes on. "However, you can just let me know if you feel like you need some more alone time with The Achievement."
I let out a laugh instead and see her beaming at me now. I'm quite relieved by the way the conversation has developed and also feel somewhat proud that I made her forget about her uncomfortable state, even if it's just for a few seconds.
"Don't ever be afraid to tell me if something is bothering you, Chandler. That's what I'm here for, okay?"
I nod, eternally grateful that God has blessed me with such a wonderful and understanding wife. I can't help but think of the words engraved on our wedding bands.
My prince(ss), my soulmate, my friend.
She definitely was all of those things. And very soon she would be the most amazing mother to the most amazing little human in the world.
I finally lean in and give her the much-needed kiss.
To a countless amount of sleepless nights.