This how some stupid humans taught the Volturi "The Game".
Heidi lead Hannah, Alexa, Nisha, Mona, and me into the castle, pointing out interesting facts that I cared about but nobody else did. Gosh! Anyway, our tour guide lead us to two giant, and extremely ominous (dun dun dun!) oak doors. "And this," she said, revealing a sparkling set of freakishly weird looking teeth, "is the Main Hall. Otherwise known as the Feeding Room." "Feeding room!?!?" we screamed. "A man with skin that reminded me oddly of onions getting' it on whispered to us, "Thank you for offering your lives to us." And just as he was about to give some secret signal I screamed, "Stooooooop!!!! Hammer time!" "Aura, we are about to die and all you can think about is a rap song!" Alexa yelled at me. "What do you want human?" the old onion man asked me. "How about I make a proposition." "Yes?" he asked. Ha, this is pure sheenius. "If you let us live…." "Yes?" the one sitting next to him repeated, looking bored. "We will teach you something that is so full of wisdom it will blow your mind." "What!?!?" screamed a girl that looked like our age except extreeemely spastic. Kinda like Hannah. "The Game. We will teach you The Game." "What is this game?" Alright this just might work. "Hannah," I turned to her, all serious, "Could you please explain the first rule of the game?" "Okaaay. Ummm, the first rule of The Game is that you cannot think of the game or you lose. Upon losing you must exclaim in a loud and thoroughly obnoxious voice, 'I lost The Game!'" I nodded towards Nisha. "The second rule is that you can never stop playing The Game. For eternity." Mr. I-Wrapped-Myself-In-Onions smiled. "This might be fun," he whispered excitedly. Alexa added in a crazed voice that, for the first time, made me question her sanity (OOC), "The third rule is that there are no rules." And then, because some of the vampires were eyeing us hungrily, I quickly added, "The last two rules are that you can never win The Game and The Game does not exist." The Onion Man jumped up and began to dance a jig screaming, "Splendid. Absolutely splendid!!" When the creepy spazzoid tried to move Mona so that she could dance with Mr. Onion, who had started dancing with me, Mona said, "Bitch, please." She was promptly eaten. When Fucked-Up Onions stopped dancing with Nisha, he did a final little turn and proclaimed, "For such a genius idea I will not only give you your lives, I will grant you immortality." "No!" we screamed, but we were bitten anyways. How sad. "I also declare myself the official game proctor and will check to make sure that no one is cheating."
Yeah so we end this chapter writhing in pain. Will there be a next chapter. Who knows what the randomness can procure.