AUTHOR: Corde
EMAIL: cordeliavorkosigan@yahoo.com
TITLE: Just Another Day in the Digiworld (or Corde's
First Digimon Fic, Written in Twenty Minutes While Some Damn Professor or
Another Droned On About Something Vaguely Math Related, A Test Over Which Corde
Failed Miserably, Because She Wasn't Paying Attention, She Was Writing This)
CATEGORY: Humour
AGE RATING: R, just 'cause I wanna put 'Can write naughty fic' on my resume
SYNOPSIS: Um, just another day in the Digiworld? Okay, that's a sucky
summary, but this intro is already longer than the story so just read it,
please.
It was a bright spring-esque day in the Digiworld. The Digidestined were taking a day off from saving two worlds to wander aimlessly in the forest. (Er, Tai had gotten them lost again.) Most of the Digimon were sleeping off a particularly bad hangover they'd gotten the night before after the kids had gone to bed. Izzy was looking at Pokemon hentai on his brand new iMuck laptop, with Joe reading over his shoulder and taking notes. Mimi and Sora were, um, somewhere else. TK and Kari were lurking around the sleeping Digimon, making loud obnoxious noises and generally pissing them off. (The two youngest 'destined were hoping the batpig would get annoyed enough to digivolve so they could both drool over Angemon's pecs. They were really bored.)
"Hey, Matt," Tai yelled at random.
Without looking up, Matt replied, "Yeah, Tai." …You big-haired moron with no sense of direction, he didn't add. He didn't really feel like talking to the self-styled "leader" of the 'destined.
"I'm bored," Tai whined.
"Well now, whose fault is THAT?" Matt asked pointedly.
Tai threw a halfhearted punch, but he was too bored to get into a serious fight. Matt, on the other hand, was so tired of Tai's bitching that he kicked Tai in the head. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your point of view), Tai's big hair took the brunt of Matt's shoe and Tai's higher brain functions (such as they were) were unaffected. Pity.
"Wanna go spy on Mimi and Sora?" Tai asked.
"Sod off, ya perv. Do you really want to see Sailor Frump naked?" Matt made a face.
"Eww…" Tai shook his head. "When you put it that way, not particularly."
They both watched their younger siblings for a while. TK started crying and reflexively crotched the nearest person, who happened to be Kari. She got a dazed look on her face and dragged TK off into the woods. Joe saw the look on her face and snickered, whispering something to Izzy, who also snickered and dragged Joe off into the woods. Matt and Tai were alone in the clearing with the drunken Digimon.
Matt turned to Tai with a hopeful expression. "Wanna shag?"
Tai frowned. "With you?"
"Yeah, me," Matt said indignantly. "I just asked, din' I?"
Tai looked thoughtful. "I dunno… isn't that gross or somethin'?"
Matt took off his shirt. "Is it?" Tai drooled and his eyes glazed over. "I think I proved my point," Matt said, putting his shirt back on. Tai snapped out of his trance.
"Okay, it's not gross. No siree bob, not gross at all. But is it morally acceptable?" Matt started to remove his shirt once more and Tai stopped him. "Good point. I don't really care. But what will our friends think?"
Matt looked around. "You mean the rest of the 'destined? That ecchi buncha hentai-lovin' perverts? The kids who are as we speak shagging mercilessly in the bushes, most of them with someone of the same gender excepting our own siblings who are likewise getting' busy and by the way, ew, because dude, that's my brother?"
"Yeah, them, and by the way, ew, because dude, that's my sister." They shared a moment of silent disgust at the squick-inducing notion of sibling nookie, and then Tai said, "So. Still wanna shag?"
Matt was still mired in the ever-so-much-less-squicky idea of TK&Karisex, wondering if Kari was as hot as Tai and just how well endowed his little brother was, but he looked up when he finally realized that Tai had asked a question and was waiting for a reply. "Huh?"
"You, me, naked, shagging? You suggested it, man. If you don't wanna…"
"Oh." Matt blinked as Tai began taking his own shirt off. "Oh! Yes! Shagging! Good!" He began to disrobe as well.
"Wanna top?" Tai asked. Matt made a face. "Okay, okay," Tai sighed, "I'll top. But I'd better get off at least twice."
"Sounds fair," Matt said cheerfully. "Let's go!"
And so the Digidestined spent a relaxing day on vacation from saving two worlds. Even though Tai had gotten them lost.