AN: So Bob and I have had this fic sitting on our computer desktop begging to have something done with it for a year and a half now and we are just now getting around to uploading it. We are worms, we know. We wrote this during a power outage when we were bored and I honestly had the whole thing figured out in my head, got the first chapter done and then forgot about it. So I'm pretty much wondering if I should even bother with doing anything else with this story. I really liked this first chapter though so we're going to post it anyways and see what our lovely reader think. Let us know if you are interested and we will see if we can locate our mojo ;) But this does break our extremely long hiatus! Wooo! Anyways on with the story. Don't own, don't sue blah blah you know the deal. PS: I HATE the name of the story but nothing will come to me, maybe I'll figure out something better if it continues.

(For a more full summary look at the bottom. Thanks.)

Shades of Green
by TenshiJaki

Some days, you know the minute you fall out of bed they are going to just suck. This is a fact of life that I, at the tender age of 19, know far too well. Yes, I said fall. That's how I knew that this day was going to be a real winner.

I picked myself off the floor, glaring at it as though me being a graceless idiot in the morning was its fault. Now don't get me wrong. On average I don't ever have a lot of grace but mornings were a whole 'nother matter. Equaled to a bull in a very, very tiny china closet as Chouji would say, and he was the 'nice' friend. I don't even want to think about what Sai would come up with. Probably something involving penises, which is why he is the 'strange' friend. Eh, everyone has one.

Getting dressed was thankfully uneventful but then again I was just going to classes today not a job interview or anything. Or even, God forbid, a date. Gah. Just thinking about dating could really turn my blood cold. Especially since all the girls Chouji and Sai set me up with were idiots without two brain cells to rub together. Oh I know what they are thinking, girls are good for one thing and it involves a bed. Or maybe not, but I personally think I would like someone who actually had something to say that didn't involve fashion, and her lack there-of, her friends, who thought she was too good to be seen with me, or some bitch at work who stole her red bull. Ugh, my last date sooo did not go well.

Running my hand through my hair as I walked downstairs I made a mental note to get it cut. If it got to long Iruka was going to yell at me again and I really didn't feel like fighting with him over something so stupid. I loved that man dearly, almost as though he really was my biological father, though legally he was as much of one as I was ever going to get. I had never really told him how grateful I was that he had adopted me when I was 6, men just don't get that touchy feely after all, but one day I would. I felt it was important to do it, eventually. And that's me, Naruto Uzumaki, procrastinator extraordinaire.

When I reached the dinning room there was Iruka, all house mom'd up – seriously that man loved playing mother – pink apron and all watching TV with breakfast set on the table. He looked up when I came in and just smiled at me nodding towards my plate already filled with food. He knew me well. I don't converse well in the mornings, not until I've had breakfast and at least two cups of coffee. Funny that. I used to hate coffee, I tried it when I was 10 once because Iruka always drank it and I can remember spitting it out all over our nice beige carpet. Man had Iruka flipped. But once I started college I had learned to practically live off the stuff. The main difference now is that I put about half a pound of sugar in with each cup. Iruka likes his black. I don't know how he does it.

As I sat down getting ready to wolf down the eggs and bacon Iruka had made I looked at the TV to see what was on the news. Same old crap as always. The news reporter was standing in front of a run down looking building in the well known bad section of town, Blood Square as it was unofficially called, going on and on about renovation plans and redevelopment. The only interesting bit of the whole report was that the whole deal was being funded by the Mosquitoes.

Forgive my nastiness in this area. I really don't think badly about the creepy crawlies in the world in general, the lycanthropes, witches, animators and what-nots, but I can not stand the vampires. Something just makes my skin crawl when I think that it's us humans who are their food supply. I suppose it has something to do with humans thinking they were the top of the food chain until the vamps came out of the metaphysical closet but still, doesn't make it any better.

'Course I'm not going to be one of those fanaticals who goes out and kills one whenever they can. That would lead to jail time. No thanks. But I will say this, if one ever came at me, fangs bared, I would totally show it who the dominate species was. And it ain't not freaking mosquito that's for sure.

Finishing my meal in a new record time, took me only 3 minutes, I grabbed my insulated travel mug full of black gold, picked up my bookbag, waved to Iruka and headed out. I was going to be late. But then I was always late. It didn't matter what I did I was forever late. Iruka's joke for me was that I would, thankfully, be late for my own funeral. Yar yar, everyone's a comedian when it comes to my life.

I waited with some other people at the bus stop. Thankfully though, just like me, the bus was always late. Luckily I was prepared. Coffee – check, Ipod – check, sunglasses – check. Yeah, the day was going to suck but at this moment it wasn't too bad.

I people gazed while waiting, noticing my fellow public transportation victims. There was the old lady who always rode whenever I did. Hell, I think she might only ride the bus period. I guess when you get to be about 110 years old there's not much else to do. There was some bulky guy smoking a cigarette. Something felt off to me about him but I really couldn't tell you what. He just felt 'hot' to me. And not in the physically attractive way. 'Course it could have just been his cig. Or his little waist sash. Who on earth wears a waist sash with a fire symbol on it? Hell, who wears a waist sash at all? He got a great big 'weirdo' label in my mental book.

Finally the bus arrived and everyone piled on. The bulky guy que'd in line right behind me and I could practically feel my back burning from his presence. I've never felt anything like that before and I really didn't care to ever again. I made sure I sat as far away from him as I could. I got the feeling though that he found it amusing. I looked over at him once during the trip and he was looking directly back at me, smirking. Some people, I swear.

I let out a breath I really hadn't been holding that long when I finally got off at my stop. Thankfully Mr. Hot Waist Sash stayed on the bus. And sure enough, just like every other day there were my two best friends waiting for me. Chouji and Sai really were an interesting pair of friends, not that I'm complaining. The three of us together are a rather odd combination but somehow we make it work.

I've known Chouji since we were kids, since elementary school in fact. He saved my little scrawny butt from more kickings than I'd care to think about. It helps that he is physically huge. Not fat really just huge. He really is 'big boned' as his mother likes to say. And tall, ridiculously tall. It wasn't until I hit 16 and had a growth spurt that I actually felt secure enough to not stand on my tip toes when I was next to him. And even though he is huge he's as gentle as a lamb. I really can't see Chouji hurting so much as a gnat. I think that's why I like him so much. It's not everyday that you find someone who could probably bench press a Cadillac yet would fetch a butterfly from a spider web if it was caught. If I was the type to give nicknames I would probably call him my gentle giant. Well, if I was the type to give nicknames and sound really, really gay.

Sai is a completely different story. I met him when I started college last year. What a fruit, and not the sweet variety either. First thing he does is come up to me, look at my pants and question if I have a penis or not. To say that I almost beat the snot out of him would be an understatement. He is lucky Chouji interfered. I still don't know what made him do it but Chouji actually worked and worked on Sai until he finally figured out the boy had little to no social interactions as a child and learned everything he knew through manga's. And not the fluffy magic girl ones either. Made me feel kinda sorry for him, not completely, but almost. After that we kind of took pity on him and let him join our group. It was rough at first but after a few months he found himself a place in our dysfunctionally functional group. If that makes any sense.

Waving to them I pointed to my watch and took off running. They would know that meant I was late, yet again, and I would catch up with them after all our classes were over. Unfortunately none of us studied the same subjects anymore. Chouji was working towards a preternatural biology degree, though I thought his real talents were being wasted. Chouji should have followed his heart and not his mom's ravings about 'the future'. He would make an excellent chef. Oh well. Sai was working on an art major. Traditional Japanese water block print thingy majiggers or what not – I really didn't pay much attention. Art was so not my thing. Though I suppose Sai was talented. He gave me a beautiful watercolor picture of plants for Christmas last year and all I can say is wow.

And that's my weakness and passion. Plants. In fact that's why I'm here, working on my botany degree. Everyone is shocked when they learn of my love. I guess I just don't look like a gardener, more like a surfing bum. I don't even know what started it. One day Iruka took me to the local Wal-Mart, one with a pet section, and told me to pick out some fish or a small mammal for a pet but I went to the garden area instead and picked out two azalea plants. Iruka had tried to reason with me, saying that I really didn't want them, but I insisted and it branched off from there. Yeah, I know, bad pun.

I mean really though, what isn't there to like about plants? They are beautiful, productive and never complain. If you're caring for them right they will let you know. If you are doing a half-assed job with their care they will let you know. All without saying a word. And they are so beneficial. They make air for starters, who wouldn't like that? They make food as well, another plus. That's not mentioning medicinal value, shade, beauty – well the list goes on. And the weird thing is, screw up that I am – at everything might I add - I can grow anything. Successfully. Shocking I know. I have yet to meet a plant that I couldn't get to thrive. They say everyone has a talent, I guess this is mine.

Sure enough, before I reached class the bell rang. Late. Again. Sigh. Good thing my teacher was used to it and didn't make a big deal anymore. As I sat my bag down I looked over to my study partners' desk only to find it empty. Huh, that's odd. For all the attitude Kyuubi likes to toss around he is very punctual and never absent. Must be out dying or something. Not that I'm complaining. That boy is such a slave driver. But, on the downside, this just means that I'm going to have more work after school. I know if I don't take Kyuu his assignments from class he is going to ream me a new one. The suckage factor of the day just went up. Great.

Kyuubi and me, well we don't get along so well. He is so… what's the word I'm looking for… anal retentive? Perhaps. I mean I tried, I tried my damnedest to get that prick and myself to a place where I could call us friends but he wont take off his 'I'm an ass' hat long enough for that to happen. So we work uneasily together as study partners and I suppose it's not all bad. For all his faults he is a genius when it comes to school and studying. So I suppose for a rude, conceited ass he has his uses.

The rest of the day's classes went off without hitch. It was the same old same old. Professors speaking non-stop and poor little students like me scribbling away trying to write down just about everything they said. I really hate lecture days. I much prefer practical classes, hands on. Grabbing up my bookbag after my last class I made sure to run to the library and photocopy all the notes I had made from the classes I shared with Kyuubi. Which happened to be just about all.

Heading out to the parking lot I saw Chouji and Sai standing next to Chou's beat up old truck. As I walked over I could see that they were conversing animatedly, well as animate as Sai got anyways, about something or other but they stopped when they saw me heading their way.

"Hey guys", I waved and smiled. Unnecessary really but that's just the way I am.

"Hey Naruto. Kyuubi give you a hard day again?" Chouji reached out for my bookbag and swung it into the backseat through the window.

"No actually, he wasn't in class." I must have looked more frazzled than I thought if they were thinking Kyuu had worked his magic on me again.

"Really? He's always there." I just nodded, "Yeah, its weird. Actually I was going to ask you to drive me to his place; it's on the way to mine anyways. I made copies of my notes for him so he won't be too pissy when he comes back."

Chouji just laughed at that. He knew how Kyuubi could be. Apparently they had a few classes together last semester but to his luck Chouji wasn't ever paired up with him. "Sure, let's get going then. Mom will blow a gasket if I'm not home by dinner again."

We all crammed into the truck. Yes, crammed. While the thing did technically have a backseat area, where Sai's and my school supplies were currently resting, there wasn't actually a seat. So we all had to cram ourselves into the front bench seat. I made Sai take the middle. For some reason it seemed fitting to me to make him straddle the gear shift. I can be evil at times.

"Naruto, you have to tell me where I'm going."

Oh right. I smiled sheepishly at Chouji. "Sorry, spaced out a bit. Turn right on Marshall and then again on Davis. His is the ugly run down house on the left."

When we hit Davis Chouji glared at me. "Naruto. There are five ugly run down houses on the left."

And so there were. I really hadn't paid much attention last time I had come here. I was to busy hanging on for dear life while Kyuubi drove me over. That man has no fear I swear.

"Um… it… OH! That's it. The one with the yellow mail box." I was relieved I had made fun of it last time I had come over so I could remember it now. Guess painting your mailbox a god awful banana color had its uses after all. Maybe I should apologize to Kyuu. Nah.

Chouji pulled up into the driveway and put the car in park. He didn't turn it off though. Guess he felt the same way I did about being here.

"I'll be right back." As I hopped out of the cab Sai looked over at me with his ever present fake smile and said "Tell your boyfriend hi for me."

Deep breathes Naruto, deep breathes. I will not throttle Sai, I will not throttle Sai.

Glaring at him I slammed the door harder than I probably should have. Grumbling to myself I walked up to Kyuubi's door hoping he wouldn't bitch too much at me for stopping by unannounced. I knocked on it, not to hard and not to soft. Just right if you ask me. And I waited. And waited. And waited some more. I started knocking again, a bit harder this time, when the whole door decided that it had had enough and swung wide open for me. Ok, that's strange.

Glancing over at the truck I could see Sai and Chouji looking at me. I shrugged my shoulders at them and motioned towards the now open door. I could hear Chouji shut off the truck. I watched Sai and him get out and head up the walk.

"I knocked and the door just kinda flew open."

Chouji peered into the open doorway, "Yeah, we noticed. What do you think?"

Oh great, lay the possible nose breaking situation on my head, cause that's what Kyuubi would do to me if we went into his house and he wasn't dying.

"I dunno. I… this feels weird to me guys. I mean you know how he is. He wouldn't leave his door cracked open enough to just swing open with a bit of force. Hell last time I was here I think I counted four deadbolts on this one alone."

Sai, being the freak he is, just brushed past both of us and walked inside, leaving me and Chouji to boggle after him. Apparently he too had no fear. Though, when I thought about it, it would amuse me to no end to see him and Kyuubi going at it. Kyuubi would probably go for his throat while Sai would just smiled and insulted his penis size. Oh yeah, I would totally watch that on HBO.

"Um Sai? That's probably not the smartest idea… SAI!" I watched him walk in a bit and then turn a corner. Poof, no more Sai. Crap. That meant I was going to have to go in and get him out. Really this day was truly turning sucktastic. I knew it this morning but this was the final nail in the coffin. I hoped that thought wasn't literal.

Looking at Chouji I told him to stay at the door. Always good to have a look out when you were doing something illegal. And that was what we were doing. It was called breaking and entering though I suppose we didn't really do the breaking bit. Technicalities. And if he wasn't the look out then he was the rescue getter. Cause if Kyuubi was inside and he found Sai and me, well Chouji was going to have to run and call 911 before we were both dead and buried in the backyard. Yep, jail time for B&E was better than a shallow grave in a nasty neighborhood.

Walking in I could see the house was trashed. And not in a 'I had a wild party this weekend and just haven't gotten around to cleaning yet' way. More like the 'the mafia was looking for where I stashed the goods' way. Damn. This was so not good. If Kyuubi hadn't seen the house this way yet and came home to find us inside… yeah. Don't even want to finish that thought. I would have nightmares as it was. I didn't see Sai in the front rooms so I headed down the hall way softly calling his name.

Getting no answer I started sticking my head into different doors I passed. It wasn't a large house by any means but damned if I could find him. Living room, nothing. Kitchen, nadda. Dinning room, nope. Closet, hey it was worth a shot. Bathroom, eww, but no. That just left the bedroom. It was the last door in the hall and as I looked in I could see Sai standing in the middle of the room looking at the far wall. While curiosity killed the cat, let's hope it wasn't the same for Sai and me. Walking up behind him I followed his line of sight. Oh. My. God. What. The. Hell?

Not only did the far wall have a poster of Celine Dion – shudder, just when you think you know a guy – there was also a huge impact crater in the middle of it. It looked like the Hulk had come through and thrown someone into the wall. And I knew it had to be someone, not something, because the whole area was covered in what I knew wasn't grape juice. It was too thick, too brown. Blood. And lots of it. It obviously wasn't too fresh, nothing was dripping, but there was still red mixed in with the brown so it wasn't too old either. And the smell. Why hadn't I noticed it earlier? It was like before my mind didn't want to register it but now that I had seen it…

Kyuubi. Oh god. What had happened here? First Kyuu wasn't in school, now we find his house ransacked and walls covered in blood. Was it his? I prayed it wasn't. I didn't like the guy, and sure, maybe I joked about him dying but this, this was too much.

I looked at Sai, expecting… well something human. But he just kept staring at the wall like it was a new exhibit at an art museum. I called out for Chouji. Man, I needed reinforcements and Sai was off in his own little world. Besides, from the looks of things we didn't need a look out in front anymore. I had a bad feeling Kyuubi wouldn't be coming home today.

Yeah. Today was just a suck-festival. And I was starting to feel like the sad clown all the kids came and kicked in the butt.

TBC…

Next chapter: We meet more characters woo… Naruto gets into some trouble with the local mosquitoes. Chouji goes to talk with his best friend who just happens to be a witch. Sai has a 'special' power?

++Fuller Summary: Naruto's friend (sorta) Kyuubi goes missing and it's up to our fav. blond and his friends to find him. While on the trail Naruto runs into witches, were's and, his personal favorites, vampires. All of our favorite ninjas have been transformed into creatures of the night. Can you guess what your favorite will be? This is an AU/Anitaverse fic. This fic will have YAOI - I was in the mood and this is what happens. Pairings will be mainly Sasu/Naru. Don't like? Stop reading now. This will be an Adventure/Romance/Humor type story. The humor because I really can't write a fic without it. I would probably end up in a corner somewhere drooling on myself if I tried to write angst. Could you imagine? Anyways, onward with the story.

AN2: Ok, figured I should do some explaining here. First off, as the summary states this is AU, and its based on a series of novels by a wonderful authoress, Laurel K. Hamilton, called, well generally, Anita Blake; Vampire Executioner Series. Now with that said those characters and anything to do with them will not be in this fic. You don't need to read those books to read this. If I do my job well you won't need to reference it and should understand everything going on. I'm just putting this in L.K.H's 'verse'. In which everything supernatural that you can possibly imagine is real and walks around with 'mere humans'. This includes but is not limited to vampires, lycanthropes, witches, necromancers, zombies, dragons, trolls – the whole shebang as it were. Feedback is always appreciated, flames – not so much. Rating will probably change in the future, as will the title, I'm really not happy with it. I PROMISE any future AN's will NOT be this long, ever.