Title - The Captain Janeway Syndrome
Spoilers - Trinity (Blink and you'll miss it)
Notes - This is a little add-on to my fic 'The Reason' so there are little references to that in here. You don't need to read my other story to know whats happening, but you'll understand why people are feeling the way they are if you take a look at it first. If not, just accept that Elizabeth and John are together and something very bad happened... See you're tempted now aren't you? Sparky is implied.
The soft knocking on the door broke through her gloomy thoughts and she considered ignoring whoever had come by to check up on her. For the last week her incarceration in the infirmary was the perfect excuse not to have to see anyone, Carson had been very accommodating, dealing with questions about her wellbeing but kept the people who came calling away from her. The knocking came again and this time Elizabeth could her the hesitant voice of their resident genius calling to her.
"Elizabeth, its Rodney. Are you in there?"
Sighing she got up from the bed, pulling on a sweat shirt as she went. "I'm coming Rodney."
She palmed the control crystal and the doors slid open. Rodney stepped in before he was invited or more likely, turned away. He looked awkward as he stood in the middle of her room, not knowing what to do with his hands. His eyes shifted from one place to another until they came to rest on Elizabeth.
She moved over to him from the doorway where she had watched as he nervously looked around him. "Rodney? Have you blown something up again?"
"No!" He said looking a bit shocked, but it soon turned to defiance, "I don't get it. Why do I always get the blame for every accident in the science lab?"
She entertained the thought of reminding him about the solar system his handy work had destroyed but that conversation had been done to death. "Never mind Rodney. If you'll excuse my being rude, I was just about to take a nap." He glanced outside the window where the sun was only just coming over it's zenith. Anticipating his next question she explained, "The pain killers Carson gave me weren't the non-drowsy kind."
In truth she had stopped taking the prescribed pain medication a couple of days ago, she just wanted to be left alone for the time being. She didn't feel like taking anybody's company, not even John's and this excuse seemed to get rid of any unwanted visitors post-haste.
"Oh, yes, of course." It managed to fluster Rodney too but he hadn't moved any closer to the door. "Actually I just wanted a couple of minutes of your time. This won't take long." Seeing a flash of disappointment in her eyes he added, "I promise, just a minute or two, then you can nap all afternoon if you need to."
"Okay."
This was most out of character for Rodney, he had gaged her mood and realised her desire to be alone, yet he made a point in staying around even though he kept gazing at the door like he wanted to run back out it. She sat back down on her bed, legs tucked up under her, hands folded tightly in her lap as he continued to battle his inner turmoil.
Elizabeth attempted to make him feel more comfortable. "Rodney do you want to sit down?"
Her question moved him into action and he began to pace the area in front of her. "No. I'm good. I won't be here that long anyway."
He went a few more laps before he stopped in front of her and asked, "Do you know who Captain Janeway is?"
That had not been what she was expecting to hear from him. Not in the slightest. "What?!"
"Captain Janeway," he repeated and resumed his pacing. "She was the lead role in the 'Star Trek Voyager' series."
"I know who she is Rodney," she admitted. "But if you're looking to have a talk about your favourite Sci-fi series this'll have to wait til another time." She was about to get up and take him to the door. By force if necessary.
"No, wait, just give me a minute to explain. Hang on a second, you know who she is? I didn't have you down as a Trekkie."
"I'm a closet Trekkie, so if you tell anyone I'll be forced to hurt you. I didn't imagine you would like something like that either. I guess we've both been surprised."
"I just like to watch it to pick out the technical and scientific errors."
"Sure Rodney."
"What, it's true!"
"Fine, for the sake of argument, I believe you, but coming swiftly to the point of your visit..." She left it hanging for him to pick up where he left off.
"Right, Captain Janeway. Ahh, she was a leader, very brave, always puts the lives of her people above her own, she'd do just about anything for them to make sure they were okay and in return, her crew respected the hell out of her." He paused then, giving her a meaningful look. "When they were stranded away from their homes with no foreseeable way back, she made a group of strangers into a family. She allowed them the freedom to pursue their own goals and advance themselves beyond anything they previously thought they could. The people who were social outcasts, she brought into the fold and taught them how to interact and get along better with those around them. Even the people who were disregarded and thought weren't good for anything much, she had the patience to give them a second chance, despite warnings from her superiors. And lets not forget that she looked hot in her Captain's uniform."
Rodney saw Elizabeth frown at that last part and realised he'd wondered away from the point he'd come to make.
"But we shouldn't dwell there too long."
"No we shouldn't," she agreed. "Rodney, I'm touched, really, but I'm not sure if I should be more worried about the fact that you're comparing me to a fictional woman in a Sci-fi series or that you're comparing yourself to a fictional woman from a Sci-fi series."
"What?!!" Colour shot straight to his cheeks at her remark. "What do you mean I'm comparing myself to a fictional woman?"
"Well, I see the obvious parallels between myself and the Janeway character, but you mention social outcasts, by which, I take it you mean Seven of Nine? I can't help but think then, that she's not unlike yourself when we first came here."
"That was who I referring to when I said that, but you are twisting my words!"
Rodney flushed and for a second Elizabeth thought he was going to have a panic attack in the middle of her room. "Calm down Rodney. You'll burst something if you don't breathe. Here sit down."
This time he didn't refuse her offer of a seat and planked himself down heavily next to her.
She gave him a gentle nudge with her elbow then asked, "Did you still have a point to make or was that just about it?"
"No I still have a point if you've finished making fun of me?"
"I'm done," she joked.
He twisted a bit so he faced her, then after a second he held on to one of her hands. Again, this uncharacteristic touching threw her and Elizabeth had no idea what to expect next from him.
"Another thing about Captain Janeway was, even though she had these great friends and an extremely loyal crew, she was ultimately alone. Being the captain meant no matter how close she was to these people, she still had to maintain a bit of a distance, if she was going to be able to command them and expect them to follow her wherever the road took them. Protocol demanded it from her and while the others married and had children, she was made to look but never touch."
"Tantalus?"
"Yes, I guess you could say that. My point is Elizabeth, I don't want you to feel like you have to be like Captain Janeway. You have a loyal team too and I think I can say for most of us when I say, you deserve to have the same chances in your personal life as the rest of us."
Elizabeth's eyes were brimming with tears and when she blinked they fell from between her lashes to tumble down her checks. Rodney wasn't quite finished though, and continued to tell her, "John misses you."
"Rodney, you're killing me here," she said though the tears.
"I'm sorry Elizabeth, but I felt I had to talk to you about this. I won't pretend to know the exact workings of your relationship with John, but I do know that you're pushing him away when you need him most and when he needs you too. What the two of you have been through together in the last few years made you into the perfect team and now after what happened with Athen and the baby...you each need the other to get over this."
"I know, I miss him too. I just thought that if I kept him away while I got over this whole thing, I wouldn't cause him anymore pain. I didn't mean to hurt him."
Rodney reached up and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure he knows that Elizabeth."
"I just don't know how to fix this. Things aren't going to be like they were before."
"No, probably not, but you're in luck, I keep telling you all I can fix just about everything."
This induced a half laugh, half sob from Elizabeth as she put her head into his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. "You're a good friend Rodney. Thank you."
He wasn't too sure about what to for the crying woman that had attached herself to him, so he put his arm around her and rubbed her back, hoping that was an acceptable gesture. "Sure. I just hope if John happens to come walking in now he'll think the same thing! If not, it was nice knowing you."