Disclaimer: RENT is owned by Jonathan Larson.
A/N: This is my first attempt at a RENT fic and feedback is very welcome. I was listening to Take Me Or Leave Me when I got the idea for this extremely short oneshot.
Anal Retentive
"You're fucking anal retentive!"
Mark looked up to see his girlfriend framed in the door of the loft, pointing an accusatory finger at him.
"Fuck you, Roger! Fuck you!"
No, not him, Mark realized as he remembered what he was doing. With his best friend. On the couch.
"How dare you!"
Maureen stomped angrily into the loft and proceeded to whack Roger on the head with her cow bell.
"Maureen, it's not what it – " Mark started before Maureen cut him off.
"Shut up, Pookie. I'll deal with you later."
Mark winced at the venom in Maureen's voice. He tried to stand up to stop Maureen from knocking Roger unconscious but found that he couldn't.
"You're fucking anal retentive, Roger! Fuck you! Fuck you!"
Mark gaped at Maureen.
"What?" he spit out.
"Do you even know what that means?" bellowed Roger from beneath Mark, arms flailing to prevent Maureen's cow bell reaching his head.
Maureen glared spitefully at Roger and lowered her cow bell.
"Of course I do. You retain things shoved up your anus. Which would explain the stick shoved up your ass and Mark's apparent inability to extricate himself from your bowels," Maureen stated matter-of-factly.
Mark stopped trying to get up and stared at Maureen in disbelief.