Monster, a darksiders fanfic

Monster

Disclaimer: I do not own War, Darksiders, or the lyrics. They belong to their respective creators. I do however own myself, Willow, and my dreams. Also pretty sure Julie owns herself and Paisley.

A/N: Yep, you guessed it! Another messed up dream that is probably an outlet for my own frustrations in life. So I am going to write it down. These dreams should provide me with plenty of one-shot material seeing as they will not go away. Note the deadpan face I am making as I type this. Me + no sleep + bull crap + access to weapons and horses = bad news/train wreck.

"Arrrrggggghhhhh!" I yelled in frustration at no one particular. I kneeled on both knees as I clutched my hand tighter around the hilt of the short sword and I felt the sweat cooling on my body in the cool December air making me shiver lightly. I watched my breath puff in clouds as I exhaled. Slowly I draw a breath in and release it before standing up and sheathing the sword. I was so damn mad and frustrated with life in general.

The latest debacle of a date was the newest in a long line of disappointments. I swear to God these men around here were completely useless. They were worse than the women about being nit-picky and whiny. It grated on my nerves. Perhaps that is because of my cowgirl attitude and the fact I have no tolerance for sucker-throwing, ass-hurt little boys who got their asses up on their shoulders over an independent woman.

I and my friend owned our own tack shop and custom made tack business and business is good. I smirk at that before looking out in the pasture to see three curious horses watching me probably thinking their owner was a nut job. I grumbled low under my breath and looked around the back yard for something to do to relieve my irritation. That wasn't happening since the house and yard work were done for the day and it wasn't even noon yet.

I got that feeling again, the same feeling I have been getting the last six months. Someone was watching me and I could feel it but I haven't found them yet. I gave another growl under my breath before lashing out and punching the side of my feed shed. I bit my lip and growled at the pain shooting up my arm. I clenched my fist and held it close to my body, nursing the bleeding knuckles. This was one reason no one was comfortable with me is because it kept me on edge.

I apparently didn't hear the door of a vehicle slam as I sunk down to the ground and glared at the tree-line that I knew someone lurked in. I nearly jumped out of my skin when a hand landed on my shoulder. "Son of a bitch Julie, don't do that shit to me! Christ on a cracker." I shout at my best friend as she slaps a hand over her mouth to stop from giggling. That earned her a look that should have set her ablaze.

"I swear you are so jumpy lately. Anyway did you remember we were supposed to go out to the riding trails today?" Shit, I actually had forgotten about that altogether. "Um, sure I remembered."

"Liar, you forgot. Go get Willow so we can go. I will try to keep ole Pissy Paisley from pawing the floor out of my trailer." I nod and reach in the feed shed to grab my saddle, pad, and bridle to sling over in the back of Julie's truck. I then grab the lead rope off the fence and wait patiently for Willow to make her way to me. I give the other two affectionate rubs between their ears before latching the gate behind Willow.

10 minutes later we finally get the horse loaded and me in the truck. It takes all of another 20 minutes to get to the riding trails and of course we have the trails to ourselves today since it is so cold today. I get to work on saddling Willow while Julie saddles her horse, Paisley. She always gets done faster than me and I nod in her direction as I glance over and see her waiting on me at the trail head.

I grab the saddle and put my foot in the stirrup. It takes several bounces to get myself up and over her back. I am NOT a dainty little woman who oh so gracefully flows from ground to saddle. I am tall, standing at 5'11, and I am a little too heavy for my own liking although Julie says I am not fat. Anyway it takes a little effort to get in the saddle but not much, plus I am cat quick when it is an emergency. Just to finish this off, I have long blonde hair with natural high and lowlights in it and emerald green eyes or gray depending on the lighting you see them in.

I turn Willow to the trail head and fall in step next to Julie as we ride the one trail quietly until we get to the split in the trail. The left is the 18 mile trail that runs back into the 9 mile trail at another split and to the right is the little 9 mile loop. "Which way?" Julie asks as she glances over at me after stopping her horse. I pull a smoke out of my saddle bag and light it before answering. "Hell let's take the long trail today, I want to see if anyone is at the pond fishing and if the catfish are still biting well. I want to go fishing next weekend."

We turn the horses to the left; the pond is about half way on the long trail so it is going to take us a while to get there. Suddenly Willow starts beneath me and half lunges to the side. I pull her up and glance around as Julie stops and looks around too. "Well someone is boogering today aren't they?" I shoot her a glare.

"She is not booger hunting Julie, something spooked her." Julie shrugged and we continued on down the trail without much more trouble although Willow is still snorting and twitching her ears as if she caught the scent of something we cannot see.

Finally Julie broke the silence again. "What has been going on with you lately? I know you're a recluse but you have been ridiculous lately." I roll my eyes and give her a lopsided grin then let the sarcasm drip. "What ever makes you think that?"

She gives me a glare in return and snorts. I roll my eyes again and start spilling. "I have been having these weird dreams since I started playing that Darksiders game. I practically eat, sleep, and breathe that damn game."

"You are addicted to that game it's not healthy Susan." I roll my eyes and give her the 'no shit' look. "I know that but it is what it is. Anyway I have been having weird dreams about the sexy hunk on the game and ever since I swear someone is watching me. I FEEL it and it has me on edge all the time.'

"You sound like you need help." She says it laughingly because I know in my heart that I can trust her and no matter how weird something is that she will believe me. She was there this past summer when I had to get help getting rid of a demon that had attached itself to me. The only reason we knew something was off was because snakes were actively seeking me out no matter where I was at. Its name was Amon, a Marquis of Hell and it had taken some heavy help to get rid of it.

I still have no clue what I did to draw its attention to me. I used to practice Druidism but I hadn't in years and had done nothing that would have warranted attention of that level. To say it scared the shit out of me would be the understatement of the century. I groaned and looked at her again, "I agree, although the few people I have asked tentative questions to have no clue what is going on this time."

She shrugged and stopped to dig a drink out of her saddlebags and I did the same. We were getting near to the half-way point of the trail. When we did this we often camped overnight out here. Usually we took the short trail and camped at the trail head just off the highway but if we take the long trail we camp at the facilities they have at the pond. I don't like it though because it is so secluded and never has cell service in case of an emergency. Also park service never comes out after dark.

I take out my I-pod that I have kept in the saddlebag this whole time and catch Julie's attention. "Do you mind if I turn this own and listen to a song?" She shook her head, "No hun, whatever helps settle your nerves." I give her a grateful smile and plug the earphones into my ears and flip the power switch. My favorite song is at the top and I click the button for it to play. The intro blares into my ears and I let it wash through me.

The secret side of me, I never let you see, I keep it caged but I can't control it. So stay away from me, the beast is ugly, I feel the rage and I just can't hold it. It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls, it comes awake and I can't control it. Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head, why won't someone come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath my skin, I must confess that I feel like a monster. I hate what I become, the nightmare's just begun, I must confess that I feel like a monster. I, I feel like a monster. I, I feel like a monster.

The first verse and chorus blared into my ears and I felt the rage and frustration bubbling up in the pit of my stomach. I wanted so badly to just open Willow up and let her go, let her run until my anger was gone. She felt it coming from me as I tightened my grip on the reins as she half lunged forward, throwing up both front legs and bouncing forward like that several times. I smiled wickedly over my shoulder at Julie and she shook her head. My head snapped back around as she pointed in front of us.

There just in front of us I saw a flash of red and black with something mixing in it that glinted the sunlight back at us. I bared my teeth in a half smile and half snarl as I drove my heels into Willow's side and loosened my grip on the reins. Julie's yell to stop was lost in the music as the second verse started and Willow surged forward.

My secret side I keep, hid under lock and key, I keep it caged but I can't control it. 'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down. Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

Whoever or whatever it was, it wasn't stupid as it left the trail and dodged off into the trees although it was almost impossibly fast. I chanced a look down at the ground and noted the massive trail of hoof prints we were following. I was finally going to catch whoever had been stalking me and I yelled to encourage Willow to pick up the pace. I glanced back and saw Julie chasing us from way back. I turned my attention back on the person I was pursuing.

It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp. There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart. No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream. Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster.

I, I feel like a monster. I, I feel like a monster.

That momentary lapse in concentration was all it took. We broke out of the trees and I clamped my legs around Willow. There was nowhere to go but in the pond. We had broken through on the small dirt levy and there was only a straight drop to the pond. Any of my other horses would have jumped in and then we would have swum out but not Willow.

She slammed the brakes on so fast and hard that I didn't have time to think about what was about to happen. I hit the frigid water hard enough to stun me and then I tried to scream which only earned me a rush of burning water to my lungs. I could hear muffled screaming and kicked to reach the surface.

That didn't' work out for me either. Somehow some of fishing line that had been tangled and broken off in the water over time had wrapped around my left ankle. I thrashed trying to loosen it enough to get away as my lungs protested for me to breath. I reached my hands up and realized I could feel cold air.

I struggled harder, even trying to reach down to untangle the lines. My vision was starting to blur and my chest was on fire. I struggled to think, to not panic and I remembered the knife in my pocket. I was just reaching for it when the need to breath forced me to take a breath of muddy churned pond water. I tried coughing it out, a natural instinct, which only got more into my lungs.

My vision was no longer blurry but getting black at the edges and my arms and legs wouldn't work for me. I could still hear Julie screaming somewhere above me and then splashing. Too late was the only thing I could think as I started to let darkness take me. Suddenly I felt a burning in my ankle and it cleared my head enough for me to realize someone had grabbed me by my waist and yanked hard enough to break the lines from my ankle. Although it did sink some of the heavier wire into my skin but I really didn't care at this point. I wasn't going to die today.

I felt the heavy arm, obviously a man, release me and I collapsed on my hands and knees to cough the water out of my lungs. I didn't hear Julie yelling anymore but I could hear her whimpering or something along those lines and I chalked it up to nearly having a heart attack from this. Coherent thoughts returned to my head as I finished coughing the water up and I rolled over onto my back and breathed in the cold air.

I shivered lightly and realized I was now in below forty degree weather and soaked to the bones, Oh and my horse was gone. I rolled my head to look at Julie and noted she was staring at my savior but I wasn't concerned about him right now. She was pasty white. "Julie it's okay now. Thank God you have Willow." She didn't move or say a word. Rolling my eyes I turned to thank my rescuer.

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! I yelped as I scooted back several feet before I bumped into Julie's legs and stopped. There, right there, in front of us and looking like he had just stepped out of the damn game was War. If I hadn't already been shivering I would have been doing so at this point. This guy was enormous but not giant, my mind offered as I looked at him.

I took slow deep breaths to calm my nerves. If he wanted me or us dead, we would have been so already, hell he could have just let me drowned. I carefully used my reins and Julie's legs to pull myself into a standing position. When my knees nearly buckled I realized how cold I was and that hypothermia was my biggest concern at the moment. The horseman could wait.

I spoke without ever taking my eyes off the now grinning horseman. "Julie go set up the tent over there and get a fire started." She moved shakily away with Paisley as I stood staring at the horseman, War. If he was going to actually do something I wanted Julie far away from the action. That grin he had on his face made the hair on my neck stand up. "I guess thank you for saving me." He inclined his head before holding my stare again.

I found myself doing something so stupid, I was fangirling and blushing. I grumbled to myself to stop it as I held his gaze, shivering in the dying light of day. Then he spoke and oh lord I could have melted right there. It wasn't like the game; his voice was rougher and deeper. "You should go change and get warm before you catch your death."

I nodded and hobbled towards the now erect tent using Willow as a crutch. I made it there and ducked inside. I didn't have any extra clothes so I would have to just huddle naked next to the fire to stay warm, hell I didn't figure War would actually stick around. Maybe I was hallucinating anyway. I stripped and stepped back outside to lay my clothes next to the fire.

I froze when glowing blue eyes locked on me and I ducked back inside the tent. I heard a soft giggle and growled out loudly in warning. "Don't you dare laugh at me Julie. Hand me a damn blanket out of my saddlebags please." A few moments later she handed one through the flap to me. I wrapped up in it and took my clothes out to dry. I sat next to the fire and took the MRE and bottle of water Julie handed me.

War seemed to have no intention of leaving and I noticed Julie fidgeting nervously. "Why don't you get some rest Jules? I'll check on the horses in a bit and keep the fire going; besides I have to tend to this ankle." She nodded and moved off, I was concerned she might have been in shock and I wanted her warm and relaxed. Okay maybe I had other more selfish reasons too.

I sat there in silence with the horseman and stared into the crackling fire for a long time, how long I am not sure. Sighing I hobbled over to the horses and grabbed the first aid kit out of Julie's bags and then went to sit back close to the fire. I was still a bit chilled. I still wasn't sure about the horseman and I watched him warily. He was watching me with barely concealed amusement.

I carefully used an alcohol wipe to clean the four rings around my ankle. They were not deep but they stung all to be damned as I cleaned them. Carefully I applied some antibiotic salve and then wrapped my ankle in a long strip of gauze. Finally done I sat back and sighed as the stinging ebbed into a dull throb which was manageable.

"Are you the one following me?" I just blurted the question out and knew I had hit the nail on the head as surprise flitted across his face followed by a grin. I growled low in my throat, stalking wasn't amusing in my book. "Yes."

I hissed out my next words through gritted teeth to keep from screaming and waking up Julie. "You think stalking is funny? What are you some kind of pervert?" His amusement faded as he regarded me seriously and I thought perhaps I might have gone too far. "I think you confuse me with my brother." The absurdity of the statement and the fact he just pretty much told a joke had me staring at him opened mouthed.

I snapped it shut and glared at him. "Well we call it stalking and it's creepy. What are you doing following me anyway? You aren't even supposed to be real; you're just a character on a game." He chuckled, yes chuckled, as he watched my reactions. "Indeed. That idiotic game, as you humans call it, has caused more problems than you can ever know. As for why I am watching you, it is for my own curiosity. You were being stalked by a rather high level demon. I found it interesting."

"Oh so if the council is real then does that mean they have you following me? Why?" I was starting to get scared. If everything I had read and played were true to some extent then I could be in serious trouble for some reason I didn't even understand. He gave another chuckle, "Little one I have a life outside the call of the council. I was curious is all; you only came to my attention because I was watching the demon. I will admit you are a spunky and entertaining little one but nothing so special to warrant that kind of attention, unless you have accumulated some powerful enemies."

The last of his statement was said softly and seriously. I swallowed hard and then looked at him, "My name is Susan, not human or little one. As for enemies, I pissed a bunch of people off when I handed the reins of my gathering over to someone who has done a less than stellar job leading them. Perhaps they set him on me, although why I don't know."

Suddenly he was leaning close into my face and I gulped hard, unable to move away. He placed a fingertip to my chest, just above my heart and I swear his eyes flashed brighter for just a moment. "You have a great untapped power in you; your aura radiates part of that power like a beacon. Someone handing you over would tempt even the Lord of Hell from the Black Depths."

I gulped and then flopped onto my back as he moved away. "Great, so much for a normal life…" I turned on my side to face him across the fire from me where he had taken back up his previous position. "Well what does that mean you are going to do?" He seemed to be deep in consideration.

"If I tell the council or you seek their protection they may very well have you executed to eliminate the threat you could pose even though you are human." I growled and made to sit up before he motioned me to sit back down. "Or I could keep you under my protection and watch over you for your short human life. You could accompany me from time to time and the rest I could watch you from a distance. The only other option is return to the life you had within the magical world here and hope for the best."

I spit out my next statement more vehemently than needed but I wanted my stance crystal clear. "I will never go back." He was back in my face again in an instant.

"I wonder what they did to make you so bitter. I do like the spunk; most humans would be comatose like your friend after meeting me." I smiled up at him and realized my answer, "I am not afraid of you because even when playing the game I was fascinated by you. I combed every historical record I could find to try and find the truth about the horsemen."

I had a uh-huh moment at the same time he did, "That might have been what drew the demon to you." I nodded in agreement and he seemed satisfied. "I guess that means I no longer fascinate you?" I couldn't help myself so don't judge me. I don't flirt much anyway so it was nice to do it around someone that it felt natural to flirt with.

He gave me a side-long glance before turning back to face me, his face only inches from mine. He was so close I could feel his hot breath fanning my cold face and smell the sharp tang that was his breath. It smelled like something I should be able to place, something I had smelled before but I couldn't place it. It was pleasant but different, like what a flame would smell like I realized.

I felt my breathing hitching as I tried to think with him this close, so close I could see the numerous little scars covering his face from previous fights. I slowly reached a hand out to run a fingertip across a particularly fascinating little scar on his chin, almost against my will. He shocked me when he gently nuzzled into my hand and I gasped as his sharper than normal teeth grazed my palm.

Suddenly the night wasn't all that damn cold as my frustrated and denied body flared with a mind of its own and I fought to keep rationality in control. I caught his eyes and realized that he was fighting the same battle. "Reminds me of a song…truly Dancing with the Devil." I mumbled. "It would be more than a dance." He said with a light chuckle and his eyes held mine.

That shocked me; did he just flirt back with me? Did he actually just come on to me? I searched his face for anything that would give me a clue and nothing. Slowly he leaned in and placed a firm but gentle kiss on my lips. I jerked back in shock and my hands flew to my lips as I stared wild eyed at him. He chuckled softly before moving away. "You should get some sleep little one. I will keep watch on you and your friend but I will be gone in the morning. Don't worry though because I will never be far."

I nodded and cast one last long glance over my shoulder before turning in for the night. You would think I wouldn't be able to sleep but I was worn out from today and I needed rest. No sooner had my head hit my pillow then I was out like a light. When Julie and I got up the next morning the camp was deserted but I saw large hoof prints leading off into the trees and I felt like someone was watching me.

I gave an exaggerated wave in the general direction of the trees and felt that he saw it and maybe even returned it. I no longer felt on edge when I knew someone was watching me because I knew it was him watching me. Maybe one day he would show himself again like I think he meant to yesterday so that I would chase him.