The Longing - For those three little words
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A/N - Sorry I haven't posted anything recently because of competing priorities but hopefully the draught is over, so please read and review, oh yes and hopefully enjoy
Once the words are said you can't unsay them, not that Aaron wanted to, He'd told Jackson that He loved him and that was the truth, what really bothered the young mechanic was the fact that Jackson didn't say it back.
Aaron had tested this theory a few times like if Jackson was leaving the house Aaron would make sure he told the builder that he loved him, the reply usually was Me too or back at Ya and if Aaron was the one leaving then Jackson would give him a kiss, squeeze his bum maybe say hurry back but never, not once, did he utter those three little words.
It was driving Aaron crazy, he could see it in the builders eyes when he looked at him, so why wouldn't he actually come out and say it?, the only time he mentioned love was when he was wanting sex then he'd say things like
"I love to ride your sexy ass" or "I love how it feels to be inside you"
But Aaron wanted the builder to say the "L" word when blood wasn't just heading south to the older mans penis, he wanted him to say it just as a part of a normal conversation and the fact that he didn't was making the younger man start to doubt his feelings for him.
Smithy Cottage was bathed in subtle lighting when the builder pulled up, he looked up at their bedroom window and smiled he was home and by the looks of it his boyfriend was still in their room, perhaps he could catch him unawares and treat him to a little sexual encounter, this made the builder lick his lips as he hurried up the drive and through the front door, He looked at the table set with just two places, there were candles and wine, his boyfriend certainly seemed to be pulling out all the stops, but why?
Footsteps on the stairs told Jackson that Aaron was on his way down, damn it he thought the opportunity for a little dalliance had passed him by still he smiled when he saw his boyfriend obviously fresh out of the shower the younger man ,looked and smelt amazing he was dressed in jogging bottoms tee shirt and was bare footed except for socks he stopped when he saw Jackson in the kitchen
"What's the occasion?" Jackson enquired
"Nothing, does there have to be" the mechanic couldn't keep the annoyance out of his voice, why did Jackson think he had an ulterior motive, couldn't he just do something nice for a change without it being the cause of such speculation
"Hey, what's up" Jackson walked up to the mechanic and wrapped his arms around the younger man, for a second he thought Aaron was going to pull away but instead he sighed loudly before burying his head in the builders neck
The two just stood for a few minutes before Aaron eventually looked at his boyfriend, looking into chocolate Brown eyes he couldn't not ask
"Why don't you love Me?"
Jackson was shell shocked, where had that come from?, He thought he'd proved his feelings for and to the mechanic everyday with everything he did, He thought it was so obvious to Aaron that it was all for him, but apparently not, the older man sighed, and that one action angered the younger man so much his temper boiled over
"Yeah that's right I'm not worth loving, I'm a good lay but not worth the time or effort it would take to actually fall in love with Me" He couldn't stop the tears from falling, He'd never thought that the fact that Jackson didn't love him would affect him this much but as he'd said the words he'd realised that He really, really wanted the builder to be in love with him.
Jackson was still staring dumbly at his boyfriend he knew he'd have to say something but would Aaron actually listen to anything he said right now with him being in such a state? but the older man knew he couldn't leave it, couldn't let the mechanic think for one second longer that he didn't have feelings for him, that he didn't love him so he captured Aaron's hands even though he fought against him he then pulled him into his arms wrapping them securely around his boyfriends body and waited whilst Aaron thrashed trying to break free of the bonds that Jackson's arms were, when he eventually quieten in the builders arms Jackson began to talk quietly but knowing that Aaron was hearing each word
" I want to wrap my fingers in your soul just like I have My arms wrapped around your body, I want to live in every chamber of your heart, I want to be your every waking thought from the moment you open your eyes to the time you close them again, I want your heart to beat My name just like mine has since the first moment I saw you and I want to be able to tell you every day that I love you, only you"
Aaron felt light headed listening to the man he thought he was losing declaring his feelings for him but why hadn't he said any of this before was he just saying it to keep him sweet?
"Aaron, say something"
Jackson had been watching the play of emotions cross his boyfriends features from shock and he knew now he was uncertain of his motives so he had to lay his emotions bare to the younger man
"I know I've never actually said those three little words out loud, but I hope I've proved to you every day that you are the only person I want to be with, I've never looked at another man since we've been together and if I did look I know I'd never find anyone as special as you"
Aaron was really listening to his boyfriends words this time, he was watching Jackson's eyes while he was talking and knew that every word he said was the truth
"So, you love me?" Aaron whispered into Jackson's ear
Jackson nodded his head slowly before tilting his head slightly to whisper back
"With every beat of My heart, I love you Aaron Livesy"
Aaron was smiling as he joined his lips to those of his partner, Jackson Walsh loves Aaron Livesy and he couldn't be happier
The End