Harry's Accident
It was Harry, Ron, and Hermione's day back to their 5th
year of Hogwarts.. and if you look REAL close, you actually see
warts!
"Hey!! We have feelings to, ya know," The castle cried.
"No, ya don't, " Narrator said.
" FUCK YOU!!!" It screamed back.
"Ok! " Narrator said, and went to a room and shut it.
"Um.. well, anyways, here's the story that started out completly WRONG. OOO!! I'm gettin a big BUTT for Christmas!! " The castle said, walking.. I mean.. um.. staying where it's at, for if it moves, Professor Snape will fall off the top while he's hanging "Welcome Back" signs on the entrance.. wait.. MOVE, CASTLE!! MOVE!! FOR THE SAKE OF OTHERS, MOVE!!!
THE ACTUAL STORY
"Um.. Harry.. you didn't just see the castle talk, did you?" Ron asked, as they entered the entrance hall. " Cause the narrator has a point.. MOVE, YOU FUCKIN' CASTLE." and Ron started to push the walls, but, instead of moving them, he fell, head first, INTO them.
"Oh, well. We saw that coming.. " Harry said, and walked away.
"I need a hand," Ron said, and Hermione clapped. "Honestly, Hermione, that's old."
" As old as your socks?" She replied.
"I TOLD YOU! I CLEANED THEM ATLEAST ONCE BEFORE!!" Ron yelled, painfully getting up. They both went to sit next to Harry, who was falling asleep. Hermione and Ron knew why Harry was all tired up. He was chacing squirrels before the train left, but he didn't get rested up on the train, cause, somehow, a squirrel got into the train and Harry started to chace it, even if it went into other student's compartments.
"Harry? " Hermione quietly asked. " You ok?"
"You're momma!!" he yelled, and fell back asleep.
"He's my momma! Ew.." Hermione said, moving over to Lavender and Parveti. Ron just sat their, looking at the wall. 'Facinating' he though. 'I never knew there was such a thing as a wall,' and went on to look at Dumbledore, who was getting up to make announcements.
"As you know, Profosser Snape had gotton implants, and cannot be in any rush. I might remind you all to keep you're hands to yourself.
" Secondly, Voldemort has not been caught, but, hopefully, will soon. Now, as a famous me once said, ' DIG IN AND KILL THE REST'" and everyone started to grabbed the food nearest them. Harry suddenly woke up, and fell off his chair.
" I didn't do it!!!" Ron yelled, picking up some onions. " You know NOTHING!! "
" Ron! Calm down. We're not blaming you for anything!" Hermione yelled over everyone.
" Oh.. ok, then.. um.. carry on," he said, and threw his onions away, but accidentally hit Snape in the ..um.. chest. He started to scream and run around saying, "MY BOOB, MY BOOB!!!" Ron stood still, and looking around at everyone, who was staring at him, he got up and ran out of the hall. Hermione was still paying attention to her food.
"Don't tell me you didn't see that coming, Harry?" Hermione asked, taking a sip of something that looked like..
" BEER!! Hermione! You're drinking beer!" Harry jumped up, pointing at her.
" N-no, I'm.. it's.. um.. let me explain," and she took a deep breath, got up and ran out, like Ron had done. Only, while she was going out the door, she ran into Snape.
" MY BOOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he shrieked, and Hermione kicked him in the shins.
" SCREW YOUR BOOB!!" She yelled, and ran out, while Snape looked at his boob and smiled. He ran into a closet. Harry got back up, and looked around for Ron and Hermione. 'Oh, happy for me' he though and rested his head on his hand.
Later that day, Harry went to the Gryffindor common room to find Hermione and Ron yelling at each other.
"I TOLD YOU, HERMIONE! I MENT TO THROW MY OLD SOCKS AT LAVENDER, NOT YOU," Ron bellowed.
" WELL, GOOD AIM!!" Hermione bellowed back, and she threw a book at Ron. " READ THIS. IT'S ABOUT AIMING PRACTICE, AND YOU NEED." she ended when she saw Harry walk up.
"What the fuck?" Harry said, bewildered. Ron and Hermione looked at each other.
" Harry, we, as in the 5th years, are going to the Sunny Beach . . . um. . . Beach, and, well, since you now know, do you want to be in our group? " Hermione said innocently.
" That's not about the fight.. " Harry started, but Ron cut in.
" No, but it's why I threw the sock at Lavender. She wanted to be in our group, but we said no, and she, well, kicked me," Ron said.
" That's no reason to KILL her with your smelly socks," Harry said, holding his nose. It smelled like there were 5 garbage cans of Snape sweat. That would kill ANYONE. " When is it?"
" Tomorrow," Ron and Hermione said together.
" Ok, well, see you tomorrow, then, I'm heading to bed," Harry yawned, and walked up the tower to his dorm.
Yes, yes. I know, not very funny at the end, but I was out of ideas. That's why I ended it there for now. By next week or so, I'll have new and better ideas. As my friend OTiger once said, " I HATE YOU" Buh bye now. Next chapter will be, " The Trip" and if it isn't called that, well, you're very screwed.
"Hey!! We have feelings to, ya know," The castle cried.
"No, ya don't, " Narrator said.
" FUCK YOU!!!" It screamed back.
"Ok! " Narrator said, and went to a room and shut it.
"Um.. well, anyways, here's the story that started out completly WRONG. OOO!! I'm gettin a big BUTT for Christmas!! " The castle said, walking.. I mean.. um.. staying where it's at, for if it moves, Professor Snape will fall off the top while he's hanging "Welcome Back" signs on the entrance.. wait.. MOVE, CASTLE!! MOVE!! FOR THE SAKE OF OTHERS, MOVE!!!
THE ACTUAL STORY
"Um.. Harry.. you didn't just see the castle talk, did you?" Ron asked, as they entered the entrance hall. " Cause the narrator has a point.. MOVE, YOU FUCKIN' CASTLE." and Ron started to push the walls, but, instead of moving them, he fell, head first, INTO them.
"Oh, well. We saw that coming.. " Harry said, and walked away.
"I need a hand," Ron said, and Hermione clapped. "Honestly, Hermione, that's old."
" As old as your socks?" She replied.
"I TOLD YOU! I CLEANED THEM ATLEAST ONCE BEFORE!!" Ron yelled, painfully getting up. They both went to sit next to Harry, who was falling asleep. Hermione and Ron knew why Harry was all tired up. He was chacing squirrels before the train left, but he didn't get rested up on the train, cause, somehow, a squirrel got into the train and Harry started to chace it, even if it went into other student's compartments.
"Harry? " Hermione quietly asked. " You ok?"
"You're momma!!" he yelled, and fell back asleep.
"He's my momma! Ew.." Hermione said, moving over to Lavender and Parveti. Ron just sat their, looking at the wall. 'Facinating' he though. 'I never knew there was such a thing as a wall,' and went on to look at Dumbledore, who was getting up to make announcements.
"As you know, Profosser Snape had gotton implants, and cannot be in any rush. I might remind you all to keep you're hands to yourself.
" Secondly, Voldemort has not been caught, but, hopefully, will soon. Now, as a famous me once said, ' DIG IN AND KILL THE REST'" and everyone started to grabbed the food nearest them. Harry suddenly woke up, and fell off his chair.
" I didn't do it!!!" Ron yelled, picking up some onions. " You know NOTHING!! "
" Ron! Calm down. We're not blaming you for anything!" Hermione yelled over everyone.
" Oh.. ok, then.. um.. carry on," he said, and threw his onions away, but accidentally hit Snape in the ..um.. chest. He started to scream and run around saying, "MY BOOB, MY BOOB!!!" Ron stood still, and looking around at everyone, who was staring at him, he got up and ran out of the hall. Hermione was still paying attention to her food.
"Don't tell me you didn't see that coming, Harry?" Hermione asked, taking a sip of something that looked like..
" BEER!! Hermione! You're drinking beer!" Harry jumped up, pointing at her.
" N-no, I'm.. it's.. um.. let me explain," and she took a deep breath, got up and ran out, like Ron had done. Only, while she was going out the door, she ran into Snape.
" MY BOOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he shrieked, and Hermione kicked him in the shins.
" SCREW YOUR BOOB!!" She yelled, and ran out, while Snape looked at his boob and smiled. He ran into a closet. Harry got back up, and looked around for Ron and Hermione. 'Oh, happy for me' he though and rested his head on his hand.
Later that day, Harry went to the Gryffindor common room to find Hermione and Ron yelling at each other.
"I TOLD YOU, HERMIONE! I MENT TO THROW MY OLD SOCKS AT LAVENDER, NOT YOU," Ron bellowed.
" WELL, GOOD AIM!!" Hermione bellowed back, and she threw a book at Ron. " READ THIS. IT'S ABOUT AIMING PRACTICE, AND YOU NEED." she ended when she saw Harry walk up.
"What the fuck?" Harry said, bewildered. Ron and Hermione looked at each other.
" Harry, we, as in the 5th years, are going to the Sunny Beach . . . um. . . Beach, and, well, since you now know, do you want to be in our group? " Hermione said innocently.
" That's not about the fight.. " Harry started, but Ron cut in.
" No, but it's why I threw the sock at Lavender. She wanted to be in our group, but we said no, and she, well, kicked me," Ron said.
" That's no reason to KILL her with your smelly socks," Harry said, holding his nose. It smelled like there were 5 garbage cans of Snape sweat. That would kill ANYONE. " When is it?"
" Tomorrow," Ron and Hermione said together.
" Ok, well, see you tomorrow, then, I'm heading to bed," Harry yawned, and walked up the tower to his dorm.
Yes, yes. I know, not very funny at the end, but I was out of ideas. That's why I ended it there for now. By next week or so, I'll have new and better ideas. As my friend OTiger once said, " I HATE YOU" Buh bye now. Next chapter will be, " The Trip" and if it isn't called that, well, you're very screwed.