Someone To Understand: Remus' Life: October 1981

Disclaimer: Sadly I own nothing except any OCs, so please don't sue!

During Voldemort's rise to power we know that the Potter's weren't the only family he targeted, but how much do we really know about Remus' past? Part of my mostly unwritten Harry Potter universe.

This isn't from Sirius or Crystal's POV, but it is from the same universe and will help you to understand where the rest of the fic may be going. Give it a try, you may not like it, but it does explain a few things. If not the next fic (chapter) is more focused on Crystal, though seen through Remus' eyes.

I will do some actual chapter soon, hope this ties you over until then!

Warning: Contains slight bad language, mentions of murder, death and some torture.

"Don't panic! DON'T PANIC!" The thoughts echoed through the young brunette's head futilely as she raced into her bedroom to find her sleeping baby daughter. But why the hell shouldn't she panic? They were coming to kill her and her baby and there was nothing that she could do to stop them!

Death Eaters. They had invaded her house and she was all alone, defenceless, with only her two-week-old daughter for company. What could she possibly do against agents of the Dark Lord? Her husband was away, on business for the Order and wouldn't be back before dawn, far too late to do anything to help her, and the Death Eaters had been thorough, putting up anti apparition wards and cutting off the floo before she was even aware that she was under attack…But she was only twenty for Merlin's sake! That was far too young to die! And Merlin… her daughter, if she didn't act fast her darling daughter would be killed before she even had a chance to live!

They had thought they were safe here, they were wrong. This little house deep in the heart of muggle Lancaster was to be the perfect hide out, no one but their closest friends knew of it. Here they were just another anonymous part of the population, how on earth had they been found? How could the Dark Lord have discovered them? They knew they were in danger, like most of their friends, the Potter's, the Longbottom's, the list went on an on. So many were dying, and they had taken every precaution so how? There must have been a spy, someone leaking information like they had suspected! But how could one of their closest friends betray them? How could they condemn an innocent child to death? She was another matter, she had chosen this path knowing full well where it could lead, but her daughter was innocent, too young to make the choice yet. She had done nothing, yet she would share her fate, it wasn't fair, who ever had sold them out had not known about her, but still, that would not change anything when they killed her….

She knew why they had come. All of the Potter's friends were being targeted in an effort to flush them out of hiding, find them before the fidelius charm could be cast…And she and her husband had themselves amassed many enemies…They had been waiting for this to happen for months. They thought they had been prepared, thought they could escape, but apparently fate had other plans…

She could hear them downstairs, smashing furniture with 'reducto' curses, searching everywhere they could for her. She was terrified, paralysed with fear as she cuddled her daughter's bassinet to her chest; silent tears of pure unadulterated fear coursing down her lightly tanned cheeks as she silently tried to hush the distressed infant. They were coming closer. It could only be a matter of time until they were discovered, and then…terrified Aimee squeezed her eyes shut against the brutal onslaught of images of death that threatened to overwhelm her young mind. She had to do something! Find some way to save her daughter! She would not show them her fear! She would not sit here cowering in a ball in the corner of her bedroom waiting for them to kill her; she would die on her feet, defiant to the last, like her parents…

She shook off that thought, now really wasn't the time for nostalgia… Her parents had been aurors, her mother for the French Ministry, her father for the English, and they had been killed a matter of months ago by Voldemort… He had arrived at their house, much the same as the Death Eaters here, and killed them in cold blood… But Aimee couldn't afford to think about that now! She had to act!

Rushing around the room with the baby, she reached the window, wondering if she might escape that way but it was no good, the garden bellow was positively swarming with Death Eaters; they would never get out alive that way.

Turning away from the window in defeat she suddenly heard a strange sound, what was that! A peal of high cold laughter that made her blood run cold and seemed to have almost the same effect on her insides as dementors suddenly echoed ominously through the once calm night. VOLDEMORT. But what the hell was he doing here? Surely she wasn't important enough to kill personally…unless. "Oh shit!" She cursed inwardly, clutching the bassinet tighter to her chest, he must have come here looking to torture information out of her about the Potters!

But she could still save her daughter! Some how she had to, they had come too far to let her die now! They had always known that she would be a target, and with rumours of a spy within the Order of the Phoenix itself they had been completely paranoid about protecting their daughter. No one except her husband and the healer had known that she was pregnant. She had used glamours to hide the condition from friends, though she suspected that Dumbledore knew, and then she had gone into hiding, a not wholly unexpected event considering that both herself and her husband's parents had been killed within the last few months whilst herself and her husband were well known to be high targets on Voldemort's most wanted list, so the move looked prudent, if somewhat cowardly. So there was still hope, Voldemort knew nothing of Anne, perhaps if she could hide her … She had to believe that there was a way for Anne to survive!

Seizing her frightened daughter's bassinet Aimee prepared to do what she had to to save her. Pushing the bassinet into the wardrobe, she closed the door, putting a silencing charm on the whole thing to deaden the possible sounds of her daughter's tears and set about removing every baby related object from sight, they had most of the baby things up in this room anyway, so maybe it would be enough? She could only hope that it was…

Barricading the door as best she could Aimee then waited to face her destiny, praying to every deity that she could think of to protect her daughter and willing herself not to break down, she had to do this, some how she would have to. She could not afford to give anything away, even if the cost was her life…She suspected it probably would be.

Preparing herself for the inevitable as she heard the Death Eater footsteps get closer she could not help but think back on everything that had brought her to this point, her darling husband Remus. She would never see him again…But maybe, just maybe, if this worked her daughter would.

She remembered the first time she had ever talked to him. It had been 5th year and they had both been made prefects, him for Gryffindor, her for Ravenclaw. Of course she had already known who he was, who in Hogwarts hadn't heard of the infamous Marauders? But she had never really spoken to any of them before, despite having had at least a couple of classes with them every year since 1st year.

Flashback

"Is this seat taken?" Asked a friendly masculine voice.

"No not at all." Replied Aimee with a smile her voice tinged with the slight French accent picked up from her mother, putting down her new Transfiguration textbook to glance at the new comer. She was met with intense warm almost amber coloured eyes. It was Remus Lupin.

"Well this is a surprise!" she thought sardonically, how exactly had one of the Marauders been made a prefect? Intellectually she knew that with only four 5th year Gryffindor boys, all of whom were Marauders one of them would have to be a prefect, and Remus, the most responsible of them was the obvious choice, but seeing a Marauder in the prefects compartment of the Hogwarts Express was certainly a novelty considering what they usually did to prefects!

"I'm Remus Lupin." He introduced himself politely, raking a hand nervously through his longish sandy coloured hair, much to Aimee's amusement, as if she didn't know who he was! The whole school knew the Marauders!

"I know." Admitted Aimee raising an eyebrow in amusement and inwardly laughing at his slightly sheepish expression, "Aimee Parker." She introduced herself, finally relenting, after all, it wasn't his fault that his friends were idiots.

"Pleasure." He smiled, cocking his head to the side before continuing, "Happen to know when this prefect meeting is supposed to start?" He questioned, "I said I'd meet the guys for lunch." He admitted, lowering his eyes in a slightly defensive movement.

"Should be soon I think." Returned Aimee thoughtfully, flicking her long chestnut curls over her shoulder, "As soon as the new head girl and boy get here." She continued, looking at Remus somewhat thoughtfully, he was much more nervous without his friends, and somewhat more vulnerable than she had expected. Interesting…

Just then the compartment opened to reveal the new Head Boy and Girl, Steven Parkinson of Slytherin and Lucy Peters of Hufflepuff, a muggle born, to say that they did not look happy about working together would have been an understatement Steven had not stopped glowering at anyone foolish enough to catch his cold grey eyes since he had entered the compartment and Lucy's normally warm hazel eyes were radiating absolute fury at the situation, the tension between the two was palpable.

"Somehow I don't think those two like each other too much." Whispered Remus dryly.

"Ya think!" Muttered Aimee sarcastically, looking at Remus incredulously, that had to be the understatement of the century!

He shrugged apologetically, "Should make prefect meetings interesting though!" He laughed quietly, causing Aimee to giggle too, he did have a point! They spent the rest of the meeting talking in whispers and laughing at the Head students predicament, it turned out that the two had a similarly twisted sense of humour.

After the Head students' 'welcoming' speech to the prefects was over they were able leave and rejoin their friends, but before she could go, Remus grabbed her arm, pulling her round to face him.

Puzzled Aimee waited for Remus to explain, but all he said was, "Don't drink the pumpkin juice at breakfast tomorrow." Before sweeping out of the compartment without another word. It was very odd.

But Aimee did as he suggested, and the next day, when every other prefect found themselves sprouting feathers she was very glad that she had listened. She hated being pranked, it was soo humiliating!

End Flashback

They had spent the rest of that year making jokes at the head students' expense and laughing with each other during prefect meetings. They enjoyed each other's company, and that wasn't the last time he gave her a heads up on one of the Marauders upcoming pranks, realising how much she disliked being subjected to them. They got even closer as they got older, and even after deducing his werewolf secret she didn't abandon him. She was falling for him a little more with each passing year, it was so gradual that neither saw it coming, but by 7th year and graduation they were well and truly together. But now it was all about to end…

With a mighty 'bang' the barricade of furniture exploded away from the door, she could only imagine how terrified poor Anne must be right now, but she knew that she couldn't afford to let that distract her right now, she had to be strong. She could not let them know that Anne was in the room or else they would most certainly kill her too. Shielding her eyes from the splinters Aimee rose to see a dark shadow entering the room, wand aloft and ready to strike. VOLDEMORT.

She felt like running, screaming, cowering, begging, anything to escape this nightmare, but she couldn't, wouldn't let him win, so, she held her wand stiffly in an attack posture and raised her chin defiantly looking straight into the inhumanly black eyes of the most evil wizard in a hundred years, a man who fully intended to kill her. She had no intention of showing him any weakness.

Taking in her defiant stance Voldemort began to laugh as a half dozen Death Eaters took up a defensive stance behind him forming a semi circle around their defenceless quarry Aimee. Knowing that she would probably not go down without a fight.

"Do you honestly believe that you can stand against me child?" He laughed maliciously. "You are quite alone, there is no one here to save you, no one who can hear you scream." He crooned, stepping into her personal space and trailing one long pale finger down her lightly tanned cheek in a mockery of a lover's caress.

Aimee wanted desperately to run, wanted him to stop touching her, but what could she do? She was trapped and she knew it, so she didn't move, didn't flinch, didn't give any indication that she was afraid of him though she was fighting to keep from shaking in terror.

"You don't answer me girl, that is very foolish." He snapped, in irritation, grasping her chin so tightly that Aimee could already feel a bruise forming, which she tried desperately not to moan in pain from.

"What exactly do you want me to say?" Snapped Aimee, trying to keep any quaver of fear out of her voice as she put on an attitude of bravada.

"I think you know my dear." Intoned Voldemort mockingly, the Death Eaters behind him snickering in anticipation of what was to come.

"Enlighten me!" Retorted Aimee sarcastically, frantically wondering if she could stall him long enough for someone to realise what was happening and send up the alarm, though realising at the same time that such thoughts were futile. There was no hope left for her and she knew it.

"My my, such courage, such defiance in one so young!" He taunted, "Your parents had it too but I broke even them in the end." Smiling maliciously he continued, "Defiance won't save you child! Now tell me what I want to know." He sniped angrily; clearly her lack of fear was beginning to irritate him.

"Never." Returned Aimee coolly, trying to steel her courage for what she knew must now come, fearing that at any moment Anne would be discovered.

"Crucio!" Shouted Voldemort cruelly, his frustration obvious, as Aimee dropped to the floor writhing in silent agony, loosing her grip on her wand, causing her to drop it with a clatter, teeth biting into her lip so hard that they drew blood as she prevented herself from screaming.

After five minutes of Aimee's stifled screaming Voldemort ended the curse, "Enough of this," he smiled, "tell me where the Potters are and this can all be over." He reasoned.

"Why do you even think I know?" Sputtered Aimee pathetically from her new position of the floor at Voldemort's feet her defiant posture reduced to merely glaring at him, intense green hazel eyes glittering with fury, but also, despair that she knew he would be able to pick up on, but could not prevent from shining through. She would die this night and there was nothing she could do to stop it, she had barely begun to live yet, and already her life was over.

"Don't lie to me girl, you know, I know you do! Crucio!" He shouted angrily, causing Aimee to convulse yet again in agony. This time she had not been prepared and could not prevent herself from screaming in agony. Inwardly she was panicking, how did he know that she knew where the Potters were? How had they known that she would be alone tonight? It looked as though there really was a spy in the Order, as only someone from the Order could have known that she was privy to that information and that Remus would be on a mission tonight, but who? Well, it was safe to say that she would never find out…

The only reason that Voldemort had yet to discover where Lily and James were was because of Aimee's training in Occlumency, he hadn't yet been able to break through her mental shields, but that wouldn't last long, she had to bury all thoughts of the Potters to somewhere he would never look for them, she herself had to forget, it was the only way to protect her friends and their baby.

Suddenly the pain stopped and Aimee was able to stop screaming, she was still shaking, her abused muscles practically buzzing with pain but she showed no weakness, she knew what he would try next, and she had to be ready…

"Imperio!" Oozed Voldemort calmly, clearly believing that his victory was now assured.

Aimee's head was swimming; it felt like she was floating, nothing mattered. She tried to fight but she was too weak, and it was hopeless to resist the voice, there was only peace, and that persistent voice in her ear whispering soft sweet words and asking where the Potters were, she should tell it, if only she could remember herself…

"Where are the Potters?" The voice asked, becoming more insistent.

Aimee scrunched up her face in confusion, trying desperately to remember, but she couldn't the information was gone. "I don't know." She admitted quietly.

"Where are the Potters?" Screamed the voice, loosing its patience with Aimee.

"I don't know!" She screamed in fear, snapping suddenly out from the curse, able to once again think clearly, her plan had worked! But now that he thought she didn't know he had no reason to keep her alive.

"She doesn't know Master. If she did she would have told you under the Imperious curse." Concluded one of the masked Death Eaters, "What should we do with her now?" he questioned nervously.

"If she doesn't know then she's no use to me." Voldemort sneered at the clearly terrified Aimee as she struggled at his feet, "She can serve as a reminder to the Order that standing against me is suicide. Let us see how Dumbledore likes us playing with his pets. Goodnight child, say hello to your parents for me. " With this he turned as if to walk away, before turning back from the doorway and speaking the last two words that Aimee would ever hear, "Avada Kedavra!"

With that a horrific green light went streaming straight for Aimee, she knew that this was the end, she had been right, she would not live to see morning or Remus ever again. She only wished that she could hold her daughter again just once more, see her husband's beautiful warm amber eyes, share one last kiss, but it was to late… In life there are no happy endings, she only prayed that her daughter's life might be better than her own as she mourned for the young woman that she would never get to see. Her last thoughts were of her family as that evil green light hit home, and Aimee's soul was forced out of her body as, unbeknownst to all a baby saw her mother's last breath through a small gap in the wardrobe's doors.

With nothing left to be done at the house the Death Eaters stayed only long enough to send the Dark Mark up into the sky as a warning to the Order of the Phoenix and the people of the wizarding world the price for siding against Voldemort. They were not there when Aimee's silencing charm began to fail, and the anguished screams of a motherless child began to be heard…

XXX

Remus Lupin was having an awful night, comparable almost to the night of the full moon in its tedium and frustration's.

He had spent the whole night staking out a particularly dodgy part of London looking for signs of a Death Eater base of operations with Sirius. It had been a complete disaster, they had seen absolutely nothing, leading them both to believe that their intelligence on the situation must have been flawed, that or someone wanted to send them on a wild goose chase.

But the situation had been made worse by the two former friends' animosity towards each other. Remus knew that Sirius suspected, or at least 'said' he suspected that Remus was the spy within the Order, and Remus for his part believed that Sirius was the spy, out to discredit him in an attempt to help Voldemort. This meant that the two were not At all comfortable in each other's presence, were in fact mutually suspicious of each other, leading to a mutually paranoid evening all round. Definitely not fun.

Raking his hands through his long sandy locks Remus sighed, how had it ever come to this? Time was he and Sirius were inseparable, best friends, all the Marauders were, but now… They'd just, grown up, and grown apart.

It had all started in 6th year with Sirius' obsession with Crystal Maycomb, a girl who, quite frankly Remus and the other Marauders did not trust. She was a pure blood, not a Slytherin, but close enough and she and Sirius had so many secrets together, things that they refused point blank to talk about with the Marauders. She was being bullied by Slytherins, but no one but Sirius understood why, the whole situation made no sense! It was so frustrating, and brought into play a side of Sirius that the other Marauders had been ignorant of before, they suddenly realised how jaded and cold their happy go lucky friend really was, and for Remus at least it was beginning to bring into question Sirius' loyalty, just what else was he hiding from them? Was he really as different from his family as he claimed?

Then came the clincher. Sirius betrayed him. He told Snape how to get inside the Shrieking Shack, apparently not caring that he was betraying his friend in the process. James had managed to save Snape, and Dumbledore had then sworn him to secrecy, but to Remus the damage was already done. Sirius had fully intended to kill Snape and had apparently thought nothing of getting his friend to do his dirty work for him. Sirius had been ready to effectively kill a man in cold blood, what kind of man could possibly do that? Remus could not even imagine what could have possessed his friend to do such a thing, or what kind of darkness had to exist in his soul to make him capable of it. Had he truly been so blind to Sirius true nature all along? Or was there more to that situation than Remus knew? To this day he wasn't sure, and Sirius had not helped matters, by always point blank refusing to talk about it. Perhaps the Marauders had always just been too fundamentally different to get on, and it had just taken until almost adulthood for these differences to surface, they did, after all, come from very different backgrounds, it was a wonder really that they had ever gotten along.

In the end though, it didn't matter, Sirius had betrayed his trust, and though he asked forgiveness, and Remus claimed to forgive him, neither party could ever really forget what had happened. The Marauders were still the Marauders, pulling pranks and having fun, the envy of the whole school, but the spark was gone, the trust that had once existed between the four was no more, it was never as it had been and the group continued to drift further and further apart, all too caught up in their own individual lives and problems to even care. It was around this time that Remus knew he had not helped his own case, withdrawing more and more often from the others to spend time with Aimee, James had done the same with Lily and Sirius with Crystal, no one knew what had really become of Peter in this time, he kept to himself mostly, at least Remus thought he had, truth was, none of them really knew, and had been too busy with their own lives to care.

The group had split itself apart, they had let their differences divide them and though they still hung out it just wasn't the same. The girls didn't help matters either, none of them particularly got on together, so, as they got older, left school, and got married the distance increased, to the superficial eye everything was fine, but if you looked beneath the surface the tension and distrust was steadily building, until they reached the present impasse, Sirius did not trust Remus, and Remus did not trust Sirius, but they said nothing, resentment festered, fear multiplied until no one knew who to trust or what to do. Then the Order had begun to suspect that one of their number was betraying them, whilst at the same time they learnt that Voldemort was coming after Lily and James' baby.

Paranoia was now rife and Remus felt himself perfectly justified in keeping Aimee's pregnancy a secret, they were all targets now, being picked off one by one, no one knew who to trust and Remus was not about to risk his child in this new and uncertain climate, so he did what he had to. He told no one and went to ground. Sirius had done much the same when he found out that Crystal was pregnant, though he did not seem to be quite as paranoid about it, people knew about his baby daughter Salena, not many, just close friends, but enough for Voldemort to have no doubt heard about it. Question was, why hadn't he attacked yet though? Did that prove that Sirius was the spy, or was Remus just being paranoid?

Shaking his head in frustration Remus tried to remove such gloomy thoughts, war bred paranoia and it wasn't healthy to get too caught up in it, "Though," he mused, "it's better to be paranoid than dead!", sighing in frustration he realised that he'd been spending too much time with Moody, the next thing he knew he would begin spouting, 'Constant Vigilance!' at every turn, a frightening thought!

Ending their last patrol of the area just before dawn he and Sirius said there good byes and Remus prepared to apparate home to see Aimee and Anne. Tomorrow night would be little Anne's first Halloween and he couldn't wait to see her pudgy little face light up with excitement when she saw all the decorations he and Aimee had bought put up all over the house. It was going to be prefect! Smiling slightly to himself he apparated, but nothing could ever have prepared him for the sight he saw on his arrival.

There were at least half a dozen aurors swarming over his front garden, a mors morde hanging ominously in the sky. His heart stopped, that mark could mean only one thing… "Aimee!" he screamed desperately, taking off towards the house as though the devil were at his heels, he had to know…

He was barely aware of the aurors trying to stop him from entering the house, he brushed them off, racing for the open front door and sprinting up the staircase towards their room in a daze.

The sight he saw once he reached the room tore out his heart… There she was, his beloved Aimee, lying unmoving in a heap on the floor. She was so pale, her previously tanned skin almost white, her usually pink lips so pale, so cold. There was blood on the floor in front of her, and dried on her lip, standing out in stark contrast to her ghostly complexion, a testament to all the pain she must have endured before they finally killed her. Her long chestnut curls fanned out on the floor around her head, as it did on her pillow when she was sleeping, but she wasn't sleeping and she was never going to get up ever again. Would never smile at him again, or kiss him, or raise an eyebrow at him in sardonic amusement, would never do anything ever again. She was dead…

'Dead' the word echoed in his mind till it lost all meaning, such a small word for such a big thing, 'dead', deceased, gone, never coming back, moved on, passed on….Merlin she was gone! Like his parents, like so many of his old school friends, DEAD!

Wordlessly he sank to the ground. He couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't breathe, if he did then this was all real and she was really gone, and she could not be really gone, he couldn't live without her…

He didn't cry, couldn't, he was just numb, this wasn't real, this couldn't be real, she couldn't be really gone…

XXX

He was so out of it that even his enhanced werewolf senses did not register that he was not the only person in the room. Dumbledore and Moody had been off to one side talking when he came in and had seen his reaction to her body. His utter devastation at her loss was obvious. Even the gruff Moody seemed touched by the heartbreaking display, whilst Dumbledore's eyes seemingly lost some of their sparkle as he took in the scene, one former student dead and another destroyed, it seemed that Voldemort had won again.

But then a noise was heard, a pitiful wailing coming from… the ward robe? The whole room froze. Was this a Death Eater booby trap? But before anyone could stop him, Remus had run across the room and wrenched open the door to reveal…a baby.

She was wrapped up in blankets in a pink bassinet, and somehow Aimee had managed to hide her from Voldemort, it was nothing less than a miracle that she had survived, but there she was, distressed, but physically none the worse for her ordeal.

The aurors were shocked, none of them had known that there had been a baby in the house, and that this child had managed to survive when so many others hadn't was absolutely incredible.

XXX

Remus for his part was in shock. How on earth had Aimee managed to save her? She had died to protect their daughter, and it had worked and while Anne was still alive he still had some hope for the future, some reason to live and carry on fighting. He would protect his daughter with his life and give her the best life he could, her mother's sacrifice would not be in vain.

This has basically been my version of the events surrounding and leading up to that Halloween when the Potters died, I'm well ware that the other Marauders didn't have kids, but humour me ok? I've tried to explain why Remus and Sirius each thought the other was the spy, linked in with my other fic's plotline (which will be finished!) and partly explained why Peter betrayed them, I don't believe that anyone is born evil, they're only ever pushed to it, and he had to have reasons for acting the way he did, they all have to have more reasons for their actions than what JK has told us so far, so this is my AU spin, anyway enough talk.

Okay now that you've read please review and tell me what you think, have I completely lost it, or did this story make some kind of sense, please tell me! It'll only take a second and I'd really like to know!

Thanks!

XXX