DISCLAIMER: I do not own Degrassi, nor am I affiliated with Epitome (and i'm glad i'm not).
A/N: Ok so… WARNING: The ending sucks. Why? Because this story is the only surviving chapter of a multichapter I wrote and deleted at the beginning of December.
~.~.~.~.~
The Promises We'll Keep
It was supposed to be the party of the year. At least that's what they kept telling him. He stood off to the side of the living room watching the commotion surrounding him. Guttural cheers could be heard from a group of boys circled around the island counter in the kitchen. Adam assumed they were playing a drinking game, beer pong, probably. There were girls scattered all over the place, in groups of pairs and trios, sharing whispered conversations and giggling loud enough for the whole neighbourhood to hear. There were also couples everywhere: on the couch, by the stairs, out on the patio, against walls, and possibly bedrooms too. The people in this party were so thunderous that he could barely make out what kind of music the speakers were blaring out anymore.
It didn't matter though. He didn't know any of these people. Except for Becky. And Kelly. And Todd.
"I have to be honest with you, I didn't think you two would last," a slightly intoxicated Kelly told him.
"I… Is that supposed to be a compliment?" He said, looking above the girl's head, hoping to catch a glimpse of his girlfriend. She said she would be back with drinks, but it had been almost twenty minutes since she left his side.
"You should—it's not…I didn't mean to be rude." She took a small swig of blue liquid from her red plastic cup, "I'm just saying, the only relationship she's had before you didn't even last a week."
"Oh, the one with the guy who told her that kissing was a sin and they would be sent to hell if they did?"
"So you know about Jimmy then!"
"Yeah, she told me stories about him."
"You're different, though."
"How?"
"You make her happy," She said bumping their shoulders together, "I've known Becky since we were four, but I swear to God, I've never seen her happier. That's saying something especially since she's Little Miss Smiley around here."
"Smiley?" Adam smirked, "My friend calls her Little Miss Sunshine back home, Becks hates it."
It was quiet between them for a while. Kelly taking sips from her cup and constantly greeting passersby. Adam looked around the place trying to spot the familiar blonde locks but Becky was still nowhere in sight.
"You excited for college?" Kelly piped up.
"I'm really trying not to think about it, to be honest." His shoulders slumped.
"What are you talking about? You and Becky are going to be just fine. Trust me."
Adam knew she meant well, but seeing as they'd only met a few days prior, he wasn't exactly in the mood to discuss unresolved issues with a semi-stranger.
"How about you? Becks told me you're taking a year off."
"Well it was either a year off or going to a school and taking classes that I'm not even remotely interested in." She sighed, "We just spent the last twelve years of our lives going to classrooms almost everyday! I don't think another four years of butt punishment is necessary. I need some fun in my life!"
"I wish I could take a year off and stay here." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.
"You guys are really made for each other, you know that?" Adam looked at the shorter girl, confusion clearly marked in his eyes, "She said the exact same thing yesterday."
"What did she say?"
"That she wants to take a year off to stay with you in Toronto."
The conversation with Kelly didn't last long. Soon after she revealed Becky's secret, a group of girls surrounded her and they proceeded to discuss the newest issue of Cosmopolitan.
Adam never would have guessed it, but Christian teenagers didn't seem to be as innocent as he thought. What with all the horny girls and alcohol-crazed boys at this party, he wouldn't even think perfect and sinless Christian teens existed anymore.
Seeing as Kelly was too busy to keep him company, Adam decided to go around the house to look for his girlfriend. He somehow managed to squeeze himself through crowds of dancing limbs to get to the drinks table, hoping to find Becky. There he saw a few people gathered around an empty bucket, seeming to make another batch of the blue concoction Kelly was drinking. None of them were Becky.
Adam made his way to the hallway to check the bathroom only to find a boy holding up a girl's hair up as she vomited a nasty colored liquid into the toilet bowl. He went to the second floor to check the bedrooms, but stopped himself from opening any doors when he heard obnoxiously loud moans coming from inside. Becky was definitely not in there.
Sighing to himself, he went back down to where Kelly was. "Hey, I can't find Becky anywhere…" He whispered into her ear.
Kelly turned to her friends and said, "Any of you seen Becky?"
A girl with ponytails glanced toward Adam, "Are you the boyfriend?" He nodded nervously. Is this the time Becky's friends would start interrogating him? "Oh yay! We've heard so much about you!"
"You have?"
Kelly shook her head and whispered in his ear, "Don't believe a word that comes out of Lauren's mouth. She only fond out about you and Becky tonight so I doubt she knows much about you."
Adam's lips were forming into an "O" ready to reply when another girl tapped his shoulder and pointed to the glass doors when she got his attention. He wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to be looking at, until he looked farther into the view. He spotted Becky sitting on the sand facing the sea with her arms wrapped around her legs. It could have been any girl, but he knew it was his girlfriend since she was wearing his limited edition Dead Hand sweater.
Adam quickly thanked the girl and almost sprinted on his way to see Becky. He would have gone a lot faster, had it not been for the sand slowing down his pace. As he got closer to her, he was able to breathe in the salty scent emanating from the sea. Up until their arrival in Florida, the last time he had really been on sanded surface was during a family trip to Myrtle Beach in South Carolina when he was 10 years old. Since then, Adam had avoided beach trips in order to escape the possibility of having to wear unflattering swimwear.
"Mind if I sit with you?"
Becky jumped at the sound of Adam's voice and swiftly brought the sleeves of the sweater to her eyes.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He said sitting behind her and wrapping his arms around her.
"Oh, you know. It's just me being silly, that's all." She said, snuggling into him.
He kissed the top of her head, "Come on. You know you can't hide things from me. I'm gonna figure out what you were crying about either way." When she didn't seem encouraged enough to talk, he added, "Remember what I said before? I'm Aquaman, I'm telepathic!"
She chuckled, "You also said that nobody likes Aquaman."
"That's beside the point."
A comfortable silence followed their short banter. Adam and Becky sat on the beach, quietly listening to the soft crashes of waves 10 feet away from where they were. Being at the beach at night was a much different experience than being there in the daytime.
The sand and the water were all the same, but the darkened atmosphere gave off a completely different vibe, one laced with mystery. The lack of proper lighting was a definite addition to the eerily dark water. The sea itself was so dim you could barely see it unless you walked close to it. The only thing that reminded you of its presence was the movement of the water, crashing against the edge of the sea.
It was soothing.
"Kelly's really nice," he started, "I can see why she's your best friend."
"Isn't she great?" Becky craned her neck to look at Adam, who he kept his eyes glued to the ocean.
"And then your other friends crowded her and they all started talking about tongue on the first date, and lube and lingerie. I was getting really uncomfortable, so I had to look for you." He shook his head, "It's like you left me in a spinoff version of Christian Girls Gone Wild."
She chuckled, "Well, they don't have reverends for fathers and, Luke and I had to look good for the public."
"Ooh, I get what you're saying…" He winked at her. "You're a much different girl out of the public's eye. I'd know…"
"Adam! Don't even joke about that. You know those times were special to me." She pouted.
He kissed the top of her head and said, "I know, babe. I'm just saying; your friends are a lot crazier than I imagined."
"Who did you meet?"
"There was a Lauren, and—"
"Ugh, not her."
"Why? What's wrong with Lauren?"
"She stole the Valentine's candy Eric Bishop gave me back in the 4th grade."
Adam couldn't stop laughing. He always marveled at Becky's hidden talent for making a joke and sounding completely serious at the same time. He was a natural comedian himself, but Becky's humor always came at the right time with just the right amount of intonation for it to be hysterical. Not a lot of people were able to quickly decipher her wit, which made it even more special for him.
"So there's a Valentines-Candy Eric Bishop, Going-To-Hell-For-Kissing Jimmy, and there's I-Cant-Keep-My-Shirt-On Todd. Are there any more guys I should worry about before I leave you here?"
Adam mentally kicked himself the moment he felt Becky stiffen in his arms. He genuinely meant to say that as a joke, but under these circumstances, he knew he shouldn't have said what he just said.
"I'm sorry I brought it up."
"It's okay." She sighed, her posture gradually relaxing in his hold.
"We have to talk about it at some point, you know."
"I know."
"I'm also leaving tomorrow. So, you know… Maybe now might be a good time to talk about it?" Adam tried to shift his position so he could face her, but Becky adamantly stayed between his legs, leaning even more on his chest so that he wouldn't try to move her again.
"I know."
Adam wasn't sure whether she was being short on purpose or if she was trying to say as little as possible to prevent herself from breaking down. Was it because she didn't want to talk about it? Or was it because of something he didn't know about? He really needed to face her so he could read her face. Having her back tightly pressed against him didn't help him translate Becky's short answers.
"If you don't wan—"
"I don't understand why we have to breakup after you leave," She finally said.
"We both agreed it would be ea—"
"What's the point of this," Becky turned around, unzipped the sweater and reached for a golden hoop dangling next to the cross around her neck. She took the ring and brought it in between her and Adam, right by their line of sight, "What's the point in giving me this if we're breaking up anyway?"
She was mad. He could tell she was mad even without having to make a guess. He just knew.
"It's a promise ring. You know, for promising things. I gave it to you as a promise for us. That's why I got one for me too, remember?"
"Tell me, Adam, what's the point in promising things if there's not even an us to promise for by the time you leave?"
"It made sense at the time. I mean, it even made sense when you said yes and agreed to the ring!" Adam reached for a packet of tissues in his pocket and handed one to Becky, whose eyes were beginning to fill with tears.
"I don't even remember what I said yes to anymore." She sniffed, "This is so stupid."
Becky put the ring back in its place, zipped the sweater back up, and leaned down against Adam's torso. Adam tightened his grip on her when he felt her body shiver under his arms.
"It's still going to be hard even if we don't breakup." His voice got caught in his throat.
"I really don't like any of this."
"Believe me, Becks. I don't like it either."
"Then why are we doing it?"
"You're here because it's cheaper for you to go to school. I'll be in Toronto finishing my degree as fast as I can so that I can finally get my transition done without any distractions. Then when everything is set, we'll have the perfect time to start a future together." The words were expressed, but they felt empty.
This list of plans became Adam's mantra during the summer, but the more he said them, the more they felt like lies on his tongue.
"I can't do it, Adam." Becky was now unable to control her tears.
"Can't do what?" He knew her answer but he asked anyway.
"I can't wait for four years to end before we get our chance. I want for us to stay together. I want our future to start now. I don't want you to leave, I don't want us to be apart for so long. I want to be there with you, and hold your hand when you get your surgeries. I don't want us to break up." She took a deep breath, "Why is the universe always against us?"
Adam was rendered speechless. Just a few hours ago, he and Becky had spent a seemingly happy day together. It only occurred to him just how affected she was with the whole situation. No matter how uneasy he felt about being separated for four years, Adam honestly thought Becky was content with their agreement.
"If it was up to me, I'd go to school here too." He leaned his head on hers. "And from what Kelly said, you'd do the same thing too."
Becky turned around, eyes bulging out, "What did Kelly tell you?"
"That if you had a choice you'd stay back home with me."
"Oh ok." She sat straight and fixed her hair, ignoring Adam's scrutinizing look.
"Um, is there something you didn't want Kelly to tell me?" Instead of waiting for Becky to turn around, Adam decided to get up and crouch in front of her.
"It's no biggie." The flush in her cheeks was enough for Adam to know that she wasn't telling the truth.
"There is something!" Becky sheepishly buried her face on his shoulder. Her embarrassed reaction gave Adam an idea on what it could be about, "Wait, did you tell her about the other night? Is it about that?"
She jolted upright and playfully hit his arm, "No, Of course not! That's private!"
"Then what is it then? Is it bad?" She shook her head no. "Is it something good?" She shrugged her shoulders. "Becks you're killing me here…"
"Okay fine. I told Kelly that I thought the ring was an engagement ring." She sighed, "I thought you were proposing."
Adam sat unmoving in front of her. He wasn't sure how to react to this revelation.
"The worst part is that I would have said yes." Becky briefly looked in his eyes before shifting them down to her hands.
"I…" Adam still hadn't moved from his spot. "But I…"
"You don't have to say anything. Like I said. No biggie."
"No biggie?" He stood up and started pacing in front of her. "Becks you just said—…We can't get married. This is crazy. We're still young. We're about to go to college. In different countries! My mom would go mad. Your dad! Your parents would kill me. Then Luke! He'd probably strangle my dead body after your parents kill me. How did we even go from talking about leaving for university to talking about getting married?"
"Adam, it doesn't matter now. You didn't propose, you're leaving tomorrow, and we still don't know what we'll be after you're gone!"
Adam stopped pacing and sat back down to face Becky, "What if I proposed to you now, would that change things?"
"Please don't do that. Don't do anything that you don't mean." Becky kept her head facing down, unable to look at Adam in this moment.
"Ok. That's fair. But I think it will be even fairer if you asked me too. I know your answer but you don't know mine."
"I don't think I have to; the way you panicked just now already tells me you're not ready."
Adam lifted her head by the chin to look her in the eye, "Ask me."
"Adam, no. It won't help things."
Adam nodded in agreement then kissed her forehead before sitting down properly in front of her. She was right. It might make matters worse to discuss the idea of marriage when they couldn't even make a decision on the status of their relationship.
"You're right. But we'll have to talk about this again at some point."
"Well, according to our deal, that means we won't be able to talk about this again until after college." The bitterness in her voice was evident.
"Give me your ring."
Becky was shocked and she couldn't believe it, "You already want it back?"
"Do you trust me?" She nodded, "So can I please have permission to have your ring back? Please?"
Becky wasn't sure what he was up to, but she unclasped her necklace with shaky hands and gave him the ring. She had already gotten used to the feeling of the golden hoop resting on her chest that she felt an unrecognizable emptiness now that it was gone.
Once the ring was in his possession, Adam stood halfway up, only to bend down on one knee in front of Becky.
"Becky Baker, I should have done this in the first place."
"This better not be what I think it—" He cut her off with a quick peck on the lips, "I'm being serious! We still have a lot to talk about so you better not be propos—"
Adam shook his head and leaned in for a longer kiss. It was the only thing he could think of doing in order to make her stop talking. The problem with using this tactic was that it was always hard for Adam to be the one to break the kiss. He loved the feeling of her lips against his, so much so that he would only let go if he were in dire need of air. With the way Becky was responding to his advances, he could tell that this was a time when he needed self-control to continue what he had in mind.
"Becks let me talk, alright? Because if you keep interrupting me, I'll keep kissing you and we both know what ends up happening when we get heated up. And we'll never get to finish talking and then I'll leave and we might not be anything. So please, trust me."
"Ok."
It hurt him to see her struggling to keep the tears in her eyes. Adam wasn't sure what those meant. Were they tears of joy or pain? It encouraged him even more to go through with his newly devised plan.
"Like you said, the whole breakup thing, it's stupid. I don't even know why we came up with that idea." He began.
"It was your idea. I thought that's what you wanted so I agreed to it."
"Someone must have possessed me or something because I regret suggesting it in the first place. I thought it would make things easier for us, but when I think about it now, I think it'd be harder for both of us if we actually broke up." Adam brought the ring a little higher in their sight, "So let's erase everything that we thought this ring meant. How about we make a new deal? Something that means more than 'hey, this is a ring to promise that we'll get back together at some point'." Adam could see the confusion in Becky's face quickly turning into a panicked one, "No, babe, I'm not proposing."
"Then why are you sitting like that?" She poked his propped knee.
Adam looked down at his position, "I don't know… I thought this was how people gave rings to each other."
Becky laughed quietly and pushed his knee down so he could sit properly. If he wasn't proposing, then she didn't want that special pose to be used for something else. Adam got the hint and placed his legs around Becky so that he could be really close to her.
"So this ring?" She nodded. "It's still a promise ring. But I want to promise something else instead." He locked his eyes with hers and said, "Becky Baker, how would you like to kick four years in the ass with me?"
Adam could tell she wasn't expecting that kind of question. When he cursed she would usually lecture him about the necessity of saying such words. But he took it as a good sign when she hadn't said anything and simply laughed at his choice of words.
"Forget about breaking up. We could make this work. I mean; we both want to be together so why can't we do it, right? People do long distance relationships, why can't we?"
"1,484 miles." She said.
"What?"
"That's how far apart we'll be."
"You looked it up?" He couldn't help but smile. It was always the small gestures that got to him the most.
She nodded, "When you sneaked into my room the last night and you fell asleep, I couldn't stop thinking about not being with you after you left. I couldn't sleep so I went on my phone and started looking up schools closer to Toronto that I could transfer to." He looked at her expectantly. "But then I realized it would still be too expensive for my parents to pay for out of state tuition fees. So I started researching how far it would be for me to drive to you from here. It's 1,484 miles."
"You really did all that?"
Becky huffed, "You make it sound like I don't want to be with you at all."
"No, it's just… I didn't think it bothered you that much." Adam was being honest. He knew that Becky loved him, but the idea that she would go out of her way just to be with him was still a concept he had to get used to.
"You know, we won't be able to do long distance if you keep thinking that I'm not in this as much as you are." She played with the bottom of his shirt, almost balling the fabric in her palm.
"I know you are, because you wouldn't be angry with me right now if you weren't." Adam played with Becky's ring and wondered exactly how he was going to give it back.
"I'm not angry with you. I'm angry with the state of things."
"Let's make it better then. It's us, if we can survive a car accident, then we can tackle four years together like it's nothing. We could stay up all night doing homework together on Skype dates, I can try to convince my mom for a better phone plan, I can get a job so that I can come visit you during break. You're going home for Christmas right? We can spend everyday together when you get back."
"You sound like last summer." Adam could see the ends of her lips slowly forming a smile, but something seemed to pull her back.
"Well I assure you, Rebecca Baker, there will be no car crashes or texting and driving this time. I don't even care that you and Todd are going to the same school, or that lots of really good-looking guys will be in your classes. Even if I sometimes question it, I know that you love me. And I actually believe we'll get married someday and have a family together, and we'll own a beach house like this where we can retire. It will be an adventure, and I only want to take that road with you."
The fullness of her smile motivated Adam to take Becky's left hand and say, "What do you say? Would you like to go on this journey with me?"
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A/N: see what I mean? I tried to cram 10 chapters into one, sooo yeah. Sorry about that. And good luck in your exams if you have some! =)
Thank you for reading!
Please leave a review and let me know what you think!
