A/N: My second Walking Dead fic. Yes, I am still working on the Betelgeuse fic. Have patience with me. This one is inspired by the song "Caught Up in You" but it is not a song fic. Daryl is struggling with his feelings for Carol. And she is seriously trying to break down his walls. She did something that she fears will push him away. I chose not to say what it was that she did, I'll just leave that bit to your imaginations. Please read and review. Thanks.
I do not own the Walking Dead and make no profit from this.
Caught Up in You
Carol rested her hand tentatively on the blanket covering the door. She knew that he was angry. She shouldn't have been so bold. Daryl Dixon was a complicated man and she had pushed his boundaries. She hadn't meant for anyone to see, but the whistles and cat calls from the little cluster of people in the dining hall had been too much for him. He had stalked off back to his cell, and Carol knew that she would need to be on damage control. She just hoped that he didn't shut down on her like he did at the farm. With all the new people crowded into the prison now, she knew that Daryl would need his space, but as they days went on, loss was an ever present reality. Carol was thankful everyday for what they did have. Through everything that had happened, they still had each other, and whether Daryl liked it or not, she would always make an effort to show him that she cared. He was still very guarded about his feelings, but little things that he had done for her told her that he cared for her too. He never said it, but Carol knew. She took a deep breath and knocked on the bars.
"What…" came the gruff reply.
"Can I come in?" she asked.
"Goin' to anyway, ain't ya?" he said.
Carol frowned, but pulled back the curtain anyway.
"Yes," she said, stepping into the cell. Daryl rolled his eyes.
"Thought so," he said. Carol just frowned harder and made her way over to sit beside him.
"I shouldn't have done that," she said softly. It was Daryl's turn to frown.
"Embarrassed the shit outta me, woman," he said.
"I know, and I'm sorry," she replied, "I know you're angry, but…" He turned to look at her and she stopped.
"I ain't angry," he said.
"You're not?" she asked. He shook his head slightly. She cocked her head at him.
"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Daryl?" she asked playfully. He frowned harder.
"Funny," he said. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Carol began to wonder if she was going to get anymore out of him.
"It's just…..hell woman, I ain't no good at this shit," he said, finally. Carol sighed.
"Well, who says you have to be?" she asked, "Jesus, Daryl, I don't exactly have tons of experience with feelings, either. The only thing I ever felt for Ed was hate…" Her words trailed off, "I know it's not easy, but maybe…."she sighed again, "maybe it's all worth it." He raised his eyes to look at her. He never figured that it would take the world going to shit for him to find what he had needed his entire life. He'd faced Walkers, a near death explosion, an arrow to the side, a gunshot to the head, being pitted against his own brother by a bloodthirsty psychopath….but the one thing that truly terrified him was how he felt about this tiny little woman sitting next to him. The strong self-sufficient stoic, the one everyone seemed to find strength in, was scared to death.
"When the hell did I get so caught up in you?" he asked softly. Carol was speechless. Had he just said that he cared about her? She knew that it might be the closest he would ever come. She had one of those "now or never" moments. She knew that he was nervous. He looked like a caged animal. When she touched his hand, he flinched, and when she moved closer to him, he began to physically shake. A dark red blush crept onto his cheeks and he dropped his gaze. She kissed him then, just a small reassuring peck. He drew in a sharp breath when she ran her hand up his arm. He swallowed hard, and she kissed him again. He knew that she was expecting something. Anything. But he was having a real hard time thinking straight. He wanted to be honest with her, so he just closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers.
"I ain't never….." was all he said. It was barely a whisper, but his words hit her hard. She had always known that he was put off by affection and that being physically close to people unnerved him, but hearing him say it, made tears spring to her eyes. He was so damaged that he had denied himself any sort of physical contact. She had never seen the scars on his body, not really. He did a very good job concealing them, but she knew that the physical scars paled in comparison to the ones in his mind. She took a deep breath and stood facing away from him. He started to speak, but was silenced when she slipped her shirt off of her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Across her back was a roadmap of scars. Daryl felt a familiar pain as he looked at them. When she spoke, it was barely a whisper.
"We're not so different, you and me…" she said. Daryl stood and tentatively raised his hand. She drew in a sharp breath as he traced a finger over one particularly angry looking scar.
"Told him I was pregnant," she whispered, "he said that he hoped the baby wouldn't be stupid and ugly like its momma…" Daryl closed his eyes tightly. He remembered his daddy saying almost the same thing. He was always blaming his momma, saying that Daryl was stupid, just like her. He called him stupid every time he hit him. He sighed heavily. When Carol turned to face him, she was crying, and he forgot all his fears and wrapped his arms around her.
"Can we just…stay like this? Just for tonight?" she asked quietly. He sighed again.
"Yeah," he replied, "just for tonight." They moved toward the bunk and settled in, side by side. He slid his arm around her gently. She knew that his walls would have to be hammered down, and that if anything were ever going to happen between them, she would have to be the one to initiate it. But at that moment, all she needed was to know that the man next to her trusted her with his secrets and his scars. Whatever tomorrow would bring, she knew that they could face it. Right now, what they had, even if it was never anything more-was perfect.
Daryl held her tightly. He never thought that he would find another person as screwed up as he was, but he knew that she struggled with her own demons. But no matter what his daddy had said, or Merle, or any of the other people in his life that had told him that he was good for nothing, he knew that she saw past all that. When she looked at him, she wasn't looking down on him. She looked at him like one damaged human being, looking at another. So yeah, they both had scars, but in the end….didn't everybody…
END
