This is my first fanfiction. Please be gentle.
Obviously, I own absolutely none of it. Characters, etc. are JKs. The song is by Taylor Swift, titled "The Way I Loved You."
"Argh, Blaise, give it a rest will you?!" Draco yelled at his best friend.
Soon to be ex-best friend he thought miserably. The two were chatting through floo and Blaise was once again trying to convince Draco to return to wizarding England for the holidays.
"Oh come on, Drake," Blaise whined, "If you won't even tell me the reason you left, how can I stop trying to convince you to come back?"
It was a good point. In fact, only one person would have a clue as to why Draco Malfoy, pureblood prince of Slytherin fled after the war to American- muggle America. It wasn't a fear of persecution. It was common knowledge, in fact, that Draco and the rest of the Slytherins in his year had turned their backs on their upbringing and joined the Order half way through their sixth year. It was a shock to everyone. No one, save for Draco, knew what had caused the change of heart
FLASH BACK
After the switch and some heavy doses of Verisatum, Draco, Pansy and Blaise actually went the furthest, becoming good friends and confidants of the "Golden Trio." Draco and Harry, who worked on the same high magical level, quickly became inseparable. However, the two could still be caught fighting at all hours of the day and night, each so passionately wrapped up in the argument that nothing save an explosion could distract them.
Thinking back, Draco remembered the first time things had really changed. He and his friends had been staying with the Order in the Black house the summer after seventh year. The threat of a final battle was looming closer and closer still. Everyone was constantly on edge, making plans and practicing hexes. One late night, after Ron, Hermione, Pansy, and Blaise had slumped to their respective bedrooms, Draco wandered into the study. There, sprawling on the couch fast asleep was Harry. Draco's breath hitched. He was careful to never let his guard down, to let anyone know what had motivated his change, but here it was, spread teasingly before him.
Draco had realized his affection for the Boy Who Lived at the beginning of sixth year. He fought with it for about three months before deciding to do something about it. While he had become close to his former enemy, he kept his true feelings secret, terrified of the inevitable rejection.
Draco stooped next to Harry's form, gazing at the fire light flickering across the young face. Seeing Harry happily slumbering made Draco's heart swell once more. His gaze drifted to Harry's muscular chest that moved rhythmically beneath his worn gray t-shirt. His traitorous eyes took in Harry's snug jeans as well, before he silently admonished himself and looked back to the boy's face. Covering the sleeping boy with a blanket, Draco decided that leaving would be best for his wounded heart. He made one last move, gently removing Harry's glasses from his slack face. Just as he slid the glasses off, Harry's bright green eyes blinked open sleepily.
"Draco?" he asked in a sleep slurred voice.
Still half asleep and mumbling, Harry lifted a hand and grasped Draco's wrist. As he did that, Draco moved away, making to get up and leave.
Harry protested. "No," he mumbled, almost to himself, "stay with me." Blinking owlishly, Harry tugged Draco onto his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around him, as if cuddling a favorite teddy bear. Draco was shocked to stillness, but the warmth and the comfort put his tired body to sleep.
Waking the next morning, he was confused by the firm body beneath his. The night came rushing back, and he made a move to quickly and silently escape before his secret became obviously clear. As he lifted his head to make a plan, a pair of amused yet happy green eyes trapped him in place.
"G'morning," said Harry carefully, as though approaching a wild animal. "Sleep well?"
Draco blushed furiously and nodded, hoping he still could make a break for it.
"I did too," responded Harry thoughtfully. "In fact, I slept better than I have in years."
With the last statement, Draco stiffened in shock at the implication before Harry moved even closer and a pair of warm, soft lips pressed against his.
It was as if the world had stopped. Stopped and exploded, sending sparks up and down every inch of Draco's skin, making his head spin and his heart burst from the seems. Harry's lips pressed harder, insisting, snapping Draco out of his shock. He threw his hands into Harry's hair, parted his lips, and kissed back this perfect man with everything he had.
Nothing was the same after that moment. They loved each other obsessively and boundlessly, but each was too scared to admit it. In the midst of the war, they kept the love a secret to all. And of course, despite the love, the fighting never stopped. Instead, it only escaladed because now, there was more at stake.
Draco recalled one particular fight when Harry went for a walk one night and didn't return for dinner. Draco had dashed out of the house in a panic to find the sky pouring buckets of dark rain and Harry sitting on a park bench across the street. Draco had scolded and yelled, Harry had naturally yelled back, and soon there was nothing left for Draco to do but kiss the life out of the boy in the middle of the storm, pouring all his relief into the kiss.
Draco also clearly remembered the final battle. Harry disappeared from his side amidst curses and shouts, causing Draco to panic and run about frantically until Harry reappeared, Voldemort's body at his feet and his eyes glowing with fantastic triumph. Remaining Death Eaters disappeared or surrendered, and as Draco watched from across the field, Harry was surrounded by the side of the light, congratulated and hoisted in the air by his loving followers. Draco made to follow the joyous crowd, but felt a hand on his leg that stopped him. Looking down, Draco saw none other than his own father, blood on his side and his mask on the ground.
He sneered at Draco. "I see the way you look at him boy," he scoffed. "I've known all along. But you will be punished for betraying me. You can never have him. Look at him. He is much too good for you. Much too noble, much too loved. Now that he is a hero once again, he will move on…and forget his pathetic time with you."
Hearing all of his greatest fears voiced, Draco let his face go in shock and hurt. His father laughed breathlessly before coughing violently and falling silent forever.
Shaken, Draco rushed to find Harry, somewhat hurt that Harry was not looking for him. He found everyone back at the head quarters with celebration in full force. People poured into the house and laughter and happiness was all around. Draco was searching and searching for Harry above the commotion when he caught the glimpse of bright red hair flashing through the crowd. He watched in horror as Ginny Weasley ran up to his Harry, spinning him around from his friends and kissing him right on the mouth.
The crowd roared with approval. Draco slunk back into the shadows and slumped against the wall. His wretched father was right. Without looking back, Draco rushed from the house, disappearing from all of the happiness and noise.
END FLASH BACK
That was almost five years ago. Now, at age 22, he was living a quite life as a muggle book editor in Northern California. He erased all traces that would lead anyone from the past to him, even changing his name. After a year, he had begrudgingly contact Blaise, just because he missed having friends who knew his real name. They never discussed anything except the present unless Blaise was in the mood to try to talk Draco back into the wizarding world. He dated every now and then, with constant suitors as his aristocratic good looks hadn't left him, but no one was Harry.
"So what'll it be?" said Blaise, snapping Draco back to the present. "Come over just this once for Christmas, and Pansy and I won't bother you about it for another five years."
Five years, Draco thought. Five years was time enough. Time to face the past and then move on from it. Go on second dates, laugh, and enjoy his new life. Which would take saying a proper goodbye to the old one for the last time.
"Alright," he sighed, "I'll come."
A joyful Blaise and a very pregnant Pansy greeted Draco at the London International Apparition hub a week later. The old friends were happily reunited, chatting nonstop. The Zambini's home was beautiful and large, with expansive gardens that Draco promised to come see in the summer. They ate and drank and went shopping for the next few days. Draco, while truly enjoying his time, had yet to get up the nerve to ask after Potter. He finally asked over breakfast one morning.
"So Pans," he said in what he hoped was a casual tone, "How are all the Gryffindork brats we made chums with handling themselves?"
"Well Ron and Hermione finally got down to business, and they've been over quite a few times with their two kids. In fact, they are due for Christmas dinner," she said happily.
Draco tensed. "And Potter?" he asked boldly. "How many kids does he have running around?"
At this, both Pansy and Blaise smirked. "Well Drake," said Blaise conversationally, "turns out he's as gay as you are."
At this statement, Draco spewed tea out of his mouth. "You knew I was gay?" he exclaimed. Blaise and Pansy exchanged a look before Pansy continued.
"Of course, dear, but anyways, he's now got some Quidditch guy who's very good to him, according the latest tabloids, you know. He's in a successful band too Draco. Would you have ever guessed that?"
Draco hardly heard the last part, as his shoulders slumped at the news of a great boyfriend. What did you expect? he scolded himself. That's why you left in the first place.
Blaise suddenly sat up straighter with a gleam in his eye. "You know… let's go out tonight. There's a great bar down the road that has live music on Fridays. It's perfect."
Pansy glanced at Draco, who was still looking miserable, and clapped her hands as he eyes lit up mischievously. "Wonderful idea," she agreed.
After arguing with Pansy about why he had to look so nice that night, the three friends set off for a night on the town.
The bar, Crooked Ends, was loud and busy, but a very cheery atmosphere. It seemed everyone was there to listen to the famous band coming on later in the night. The opening act did a good number, and Draco was excited and in the spirit.
His back was turned as the main band took the stage.
"Hello everyone, thanks for coming out, we're the Gryffindorks and we'd like to play a bit for you," resonated the deep, warm voice at the mic.
Draco stilled. He knew that voice.
When he turned around, the lead singer was putting his guitar on, and Draco couldn't catch his face, but the unruly black hair that pointed in all directions made his stomach flip. As the singer turned around, Draco froze. Harry sodding Potter stood up there, looking absolutely perfect. He had grown into his looks, filled out and gotten taller. His hair was still a mess and his eyes still looked that vivid green. He was not wearing glasses and his shirt was a plain blue tee, tight across his arms. His tight black jeans left little up to the imagination. Draco couldn't breath.
Harry looked over his shoulder, setting Draco free to look at the band. He quickly recognized Fred and George Weasley and Neville Longbottom as the rest of the ensemble. Before Draco could set himself right, the music started and Harry whipped around once more.
"He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous.
He says everything I need to hear
And it's like I couldn't ask for anything better.
He opens up my door and
I get into his car and he says
You look beautiful tonight.
And I feel perfectly fine."
Draco felt a shot through his heart, hearing Harry sing about this ideal guy, obviously the Quidditch star. Scanning the room, Draco spotted a man who had to be the guy, leaning against the bar with a happy look on his face and his friends slapping him on the back in congratulations. Draco glared for all he was worth, but soon the attractive bloke's expression changed to one of hurt and confusion. Draco tuned back into Harry as he sing,
"But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2 am and I'm cursing your name.
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you.
Breaking down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kind of rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you."
Draco's heart began to beat again, his mind working out the details. Whispers rushed around the bar, as everyone looked confused and curious about this song. Draco saw Hermione Granger standing near the stage, looking at Harry with a knowing and supportive glance. Harry sang on.
"He respects my space
And never makes me wait
And he calls exactly when he says he will.
He's close to all my friends
Talks business with my band mates.
He's charming and endearing
And I'm comfortable."
At this, a pained look came to Harry's face. The band quieted, and suddenly burst forth again as Harry let out all his pent up emotion.
"But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name.
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you.
Breaking down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kind of rush.
And I never knew I could feel that much.
And that's the way I loved you."
Draco's body acted on its own accord and he began pushing through the crowd, desperate to get closer to Harry. Too many coincidences he thought. His hands were shaking and he felt what he hadn't felt in years- hope.
"He can't see the smile I'm faking.
And my heart's not breaking
Cause I'm not feeling anything at all.
And you were wild and crazy.
Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated,
got away like some mistake."
The crowd at the front seemed to melt away around Draco as if sensing something about his aura drawing him towards the stage. He caught sight of Hermione, as she turned toward him, her mouth opening in complete shock before her face broke into a huge smile. Draco, unable to process this, could only turn his face back to Harry, who was now mere feet away.
"And now I," Harry's voice broke as if the emotion was too much to bear and his eyes closed.
"I miss screaming, and fighting, and kissing in the rain
it's 2am and I'm cursing your name.
I'm so in love that I acted insane.
And that's the way I loved you.
Breaking down and coming undone
it's a roller coaster kind of rush.
And I never knew I could feel that much.
And that's the way I loved you."
Harry opened his eyes and looked down into the crowd, noticing everyone staring down to a spot directly in front of him. Draco watched as his eyes slowly followed theirs, before coming to a stop on his face. The color drained from Harry's face as gray met green for the first time in five years, and the mere eye contact set off sparks between the two men. Harry gasped and Draco arched an eyebrow. At this, Harry seemed to remember where he was and he whispered the last lines of the song into the mic without breaking eye contact.
"And that's the way I loved you.
Never knew I could feel that much.
And that's the way I loved you."
The crowd went nuts but Draco could hear nothing. Harry jumped off the stage and made his way straight for Draco with a hard, determined look in his eye. He stopped when they were inches away from each other. Draco was too scared to move, so the two just stared. Suddenly, Harry's fist swung out of nowhere, hitting Draco in the face with a smash. Draco tumbled to the ground, shocked, hurt, and more than a little angry. Moments later, Draco found himself with a lap of very angry Gryffindor.
"What that fuck, Potter?" yelled Draco.
Harry was now straddling Draco with a murderous expression on his face.
"How could you do that to me!" he shouted, face getting redder by the minute. "How could you just leave me like that Draco?! When everything was finally over you just left me."
Draco could feel Harry shaking uncontrollably now, but he was just as furious at this point.
"Because," Draco spat, "because I came back after the battle to find you and all your little fans perfectly happy and overjoyed without me there. Because the moment I came into the room you were lip locked with the Weaslette. Because," Draco was now screaming, "I knew that you'd be better off without me."
Silence hung around the whole bar. Everyone was listening for what was to come next. Harry was staring at Draco with a strange expression on his face.
"You left…" he said slowly, "because you thought my life would be better without you?"
Not trusting himself to speak for fear of tears, Draco merely nodded.
Harry blinked twice. Then he began to chuckle. Softly at first, but before too long he was laughing loudly and tears came to his eyes.
"Can you please explain what is so damn funny about that, Potter?" asked Draco exasperatedly, trying to pull away, and wary of the outcome.
Harry got himself under control and moved impossibly closer to the struggling Draco.
"Because," he whispered, staring adoringly into Draco's eyes, "I can hardly even live my life without you, let alone live a better one."
Draco, unwilling to give up just yet, spat out "You seem to be fine."
Harry shook his head.
"Why would I want to live life 'fine' when I could live a life with you extraordinarily?" said Harry.
With that, he reached up and ran his hand through Draco's hair. Draco shuddered at the contact and allowed himself to be pulled toward Harry.
"I love you." Harry whispered. "I always have. Just as you love me."
Their lips met, and for the first time in five years, there on a dirty bar room floor, surrounded by people he didn't know and some people he did, Draco was home.
Two weeks later, Draco walked into the front room of his California home carrying a brown box, which he set at his feet as he looked around the sunny room.
"Is that the last of it?" called a voice from the front door.
A moment later, Harry came jogging in, pushing his hair from his face to study Draco.
"You alright?" he asked, kissing him lightly on the lips.
Draco smiled a genuine smile and leaned into him.
"More than alright. Just saying good bye to the house for now," he replied.
Harry laughed, "Don't be a drama queen, I told you we'd be back here as much as possible for vacationing."
"I know," pouted Draco, "But I'll still miss it."
At the look on Harry's face he quickly added, "Not as much as I missed you though."
Harry grinned, "That's better, now let's get out of here."
They walked to the door hand in hand and locked it up. Before getting into the car, Harry wrapped his arms around Draco and they turned and studied the house one last time. Draco settled back against Harry who kissed his cheek happily.
"I love you, Harry," he whispered shyly.
Harry grinned a face-splitting smile and kissed him again. It was good to be back where he belonged.