Hot rod...pink…?
In which Rico and Kowalski go shopping and Rico dyes his hair, with somewhat disastrous results.
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They were in the tinned food isle. Kowalski standing with hand on hip the other holding a tin of sardines, his sharp eyes calculating the nutritional content,when Rico returned from the next aisle holding a small container of something.
Kowalski's phone went off. The tune of Bill Nye the science guy ringing out through the store. Kowalski fumbled for his phone,limbs flailing and the tin of fish flying out of his hands and rocketing towards Rico's head. Before it could impact Rico plucked it out of the air, making a small exasperated grunt, and dropping it back into trolly,lips pulling together and his scar stretching to a pale thin line.
Kowalski bit his lip and answered the call "hello" he said in his thick american accent, voice low and deep as he was trying to be quiet and not attract any more attention, as if he wasn't embarrassed enough that the whole store knew he had Bill Nye the science guy as his ringtone ( he'd changed it to that when he was drunk one time and couldn't for the life of him remember how to change it back,it was incrypted,apparently the drunk Kowalski played pranks on the sober Kowalski)
" hello soldier, have you obtained the sardines?" said the voice at the end of the line.
"Yes skipper" said Kowalski, the words clipped and spoken through his teeth. Don't get him wrong, they all loved sardines, but skippers love for them was bordering on obsession, and Kowalski was worried the high salt content was raising their leaders blood pressure.
"We'll be home shortly, what was that game you wanted? Cards Against-"
"Cards Against Humanity" finished skipper. "It's all the rage with the kids these days. Might help young private over here gain some brownie points with the youngsters at HQ, he's not been making any friends"
"That seems an apt solution" concluded Kowalski, trapping the phone between his ear and shoulder twisting his whole body round to see what rico was holding-it was a box covered with a photograph of a man with bright red hair, lips red to match and pouting sullenly, dear lord.
"Well it's time for the soccer, so I'ma get my grandad slippers on and open a can of the good stuff." The only reason Kowalski knew he meant beer and not sardines was because it was soccer their leader was watching, which he only did with beer and on leave.
They weren't allowed alcohol during mission times, and they were currently on a blessed relief period for private to catch up on his schooling( this was no problem as private was a wiz kid and had kowalski as his informal teacher) and the team could get some rest before their next no doubt gruelling mission.
"Ok skipper, goodbye" he ended the call, dropping the cell back into his pocket more gracefully than he had retrieved it and raising his eyes-only to see Rico stood there with pleading eyes as big as saucers holding the red hair dye in front of him like a question.
"Ok I'll dye your mo hawk, but I'm buying pastelizer,we're doing this properly."
The last time Rico had used too pigmented dye and the hair had turned out too dark. Not hot rod red at all but dark wine red/purple, not to mention the fact that it was so damaged afterwards he'd had to chop it all off.
Personally Kowalski liked Rico's mo hawk black. The whole team had black hair and blue eyes. It was what they where known for, and what had in the end conributed to their name, the 'penguins'. It was all because of an event they all attended undercover, a wedding. Skipper had accidentally ordered suits for them with coat tails, hence the name 'penguins', that, and private was very young at the time, around 8, and he really did have a very distinctive waddle.
The tallest penguin indicated for Their resident psycho to dump the hair dye into the trolley, which he did with great gusto, exclaiming a loud "alright!" And fist pumping with one well muscled arm.
"Now Rico, where would we find that game?"
Rico's head tilted to the side, his ears pricking up. He was slightly deaf in one ear so sometimes twisted so his left side could hear . Rico didn't have an easy past, let's just say it wasn't a civilian injury.
" dis wa" said Rico, abandoning the tinned food aisle and stomping off towards aisle six. Kowalski took hold of the trolley, following right behind, but not before a quick detour to aisle five on the way. Grimacing with disapproval before dropping the pastelizer into the laden trolley.
Kowalski found him half way down the aisles, reading some of the cards from an already opened pack of Cards Against Humanity and chortling. Kowalski knelt down, picking up a sleek black box and reading down the sides 'cards against Humanity-a card game for horrible people'
" should we really be buying this for Private Rico?" Asked Kowalski, but it was too late, Rico was systematically reading the cards and raised two towards him. Kowalski strained to read the small writing without his contact lenses or glasses, "Bill Nye The Science Guy…" Read the analyst. "once you pop the fun don't -stop!?"
Rico burst into fits of laughter, taking the cards and snapping a picture to send to skipper later,grabbing his belly and shuddering with mirth as he completely lost it. " very funny Rico" strained Kowalski, his voice strangled and his cheeks becoming pink.
Look, once ago there might have been a time when he was a little kid in agent training and looked up to Bill Nye, and may have known all the words to his theme tune, but this was his limit, first his drunk self messing with him, then the rest of the team, this really wasn't fair.
Kowalski made a grab for the cards in Rico's hand, but Rico snatched them away.
"nu uh" said Rico, raising the cards high above his head and waggling a finger. Kowalski strained, getting up close and trying to reach over Ricos well muscled shoulder to get at them, however Rico was built like a tank, and all he had to do was put a hand on Kowalski's lean chest meaning he couldn't get close enough to get at them. Kowalski strained against the obstruction, using his long gangly limbs to try reaching up and behind but to no avail.
"Ok I give up!" Kowalski sighed folding his long arms over his chest and pouting childishly at Rico. "Haha" said Rico, dropping the cards back into the torn up box but not before waggling his eyebrows at Kowalski making the blush return in full force.
Kowalski retrieved the sleek unopened box of cards he had picked up earlier and with a disapproving frown dropped them too into the trolley.
On the way out Rico winked at the checkout lady who giggled like a schoolgirl,all the while ogling Ricos guns sticking out of his cropped army jacket. Kowalski rolled his eyes, couldn't she stop undressing Rico with her eyes?, I mean eew, TMI.
Rico scooped up all of the bags with ease just as Kowalski retrieved the pound from the shopping trolley and opened the car.
Rico and Kowalski always did the shopping. The arrangement was, Kowalski got the food and everything they actually needed-he was like one of those mums that read the label on everything, and was convinced if he didn't do the shop they would come home with absolute rubbish, and nothing they really needed, and he was right. And Rico was the muscle carrying everything, which was fine by him.
Secretly Rico didn't want the analyst to go alone. He was always worried that something bad would happen when he wasn't there. Like the time some criminal recognised him. From a previous undercover roll at a science facility and drop punched him, then kicked the shit out of him until the staff called the police, who were completely useless by this point as Kowalski wasn't defenceless and had got the drop on him by then.
He'd come home with a black eye and a lot of scrapes he hid from the group, even though Rico could tell they were there from the tightness in his jaw and the stiff way he held himself for weeks after.
Rico Closed the trunk with a click, walking round to the passenger side of the didn't really do slow,Kowalski was driving today.
On the journey home Rico gazed out of the window impatiently, watching the trees and buildings fly by too slowly. With every block his excitement grew. Soon his fully Black Death hawk would resemble angry flames.
They sat in comfortable silence for the short journey home, eventually pulling up to a pair of black gates. Rico was on the right hand side so leaned into the comm "we're 'ome et us in" he rumbled, "sure thing soldier" came the smooth reply, and the gates swung open.
By the time they pulled up, Kowalski removing his tinted driving glasses and placing them in the holster Rico was bouncing off of his seat with anticipation.
The engine stuttered out, and Rico was on his feet out of the car in moments, ripping open the trunk and scooping up the produce. Rico dashed into the house, the door already opened by skipper who greeted Rico with a "welcome home soldio…" unable to finish as Rico had already pushed past him and was in the kitchen un packing the food like a whirlwind.
Kowalski shut the trunk quietly,but not before picking up the card game that had fallen out of the bag, neglected in Rico's excitement.
"Whats up with Rico?" asked skipper.
"Oh- that?" replied Kowalski. " he's picked up some red hair dye again, we're in for round two of the hipster incident"
For weeks Rico's hair had been too damaged to spray up into his signature death hawk, so he had looked like a wannabe hipster for too long for it to be amusing, the group somewhat embarrassed to be seen with him. By the end rico had resorted to the man bun, and then heart brokenly cutting off the dead locks.
Kowalski had thought he looked quite handsome with a shorter Hawk. Needless to say Kowalski was dying it this time.
Kowalski walked up the drive to the house, presenting the card game to skipper, who accepted it like it was something very secret, and shouldn't be mentioned. The team couldn't see why but Private had been struggling to make friends at HQ, the boy was kind, brave, loyal. What more could you want in a friend? It was just plain strange.
Ok but they had to admit, the boy still slept with stuffed animals and watched my little pony,but that was hardly a big flaw in the boy's personality. Skipper hadn't the heart to tell him to grow up.
Together they had raised him. They'd found him at an orphanage in the UK on a trip to their london branch, his parents both agents KIA. HQ recognising his potential and skipper taking pity on a toddler that unbeknownst to them would grow up to be a valid and meaningful member of the team.
Let the boy be a… What was that word? Brony. It was harmless, Skipper just wished the boy could make a friend his own age. They all did.
Kowalski and Skipper headed into the kitchen, the latter entering the ten digit code into the security system only he knew that was changed daily and locking the doors and gates. Kowalski turned on the kettle for a coffee, skipper disappearing to the next room. As the door opened the roar of a crowd could be heard, the soccer in full swing. Kowalski walked past Rico who was frantically darting around sticking things in the cupboards with lightning speed and yawned.
Private was nowhere to be seen. No doubt completing his academy college coursework-the equivalent of young british agents university, even though he was only 16. Perhaps that's why the other agents didn't gel with him, they were jealous he was ahead of them? Thought kowalski. Kowalski knew all too well the resentment that came when you were smarter than your older peers, the jealousy was ugly but unavoidable.
Kowalski was just grateful they now didn't tolerate the rough housing he suffered during his training, besides private being part of the notorious penguins, where the well known 'real rambo' resided, the war hero skipper, and the youngest ever graduate from the science programme Kowalski. No one would dare risking the repercussions of hurting their boy.
Kowalski was a bit clumsy for an agent, and prone to accidents and injury due to his gangling frame, but exceptions were made as he was one of the sharpest minds they'd ever seen,and paired with Rico the real Rambo who looked out for him in the field, and under skippers leadership he was able to be the excellent agent he was destined to become.
Kowalski poured out his coffee,turning with the steaming mug in his hands to the face of an expectant Rico. The cupboards had been stocked, and the noise of them opening and being slammed closed had ceased. "Really Rico, NOW? I've just made coffee"
"Uh huh" replied the demolitions expert, frantically nodding so that his mo hawk actually moved even with all that spray.
"ok" groaned kowalski, setting down the precious black liquid with a sigh. He'd gotten no sleep last night, building the blueprints for a new neural transmitting device he could use to communicate semi telepathically with his team mates. Which could be useful in sticky situations, and in a number of other ways.
He trudged upstairs after an excitable Rico, grabbing his lab coat and gloves off the coat rack on the way. This was going to be messy.