Lyla would never get used to this room. She'd been sleeping here for regularly for 10 months now, but the feeling of the lumpy mattress underneath her and the smell of sweat and sports gear, a smell that so strongly screamed boy to her, would never fade. It was worst now in the stifling late June heat. She could feel Tim's sweaty naked torso pressed against her like a second skin. She knew if she moved she'd peel right off of him, like those glossy gold star stickers she always used to hunger after in grade school.

"S'hot." Tim groaned beside her, waking up slowly and groggily testing out each of his limbs. It had to be close to noon, although they hadn't really fallen asleep until at least 3 am last night. They'd come back from yet another pool party, celebrating the end of high school; stumbling in drunk on beer and high off love.

"Nooooo." she half-heartedly protested as he wrapped his damp naked body around hers. Despite the heat and the sticky feeling of her skin on his, she loved mornings like this. Waking up with him was almost as good as going to bed with him.

"What should we do today, Garrity?" he asked, his voice leaded with sleep.

"Nothing?" she suggested, her body rumbling along with his as he chuckled. Lyla always had something planned for their day. Before he'd even found a clean pair of pants to put on, she'd checked off three things in her little black leather planner. But now with summer upon them and college acceptances solidified and in hand, there was nothing that needed to be done.

"Well I can think of something." he said, his voice suddenly more awake as his hand slid down her side making. His mouth followed; the tips of his hair grazing her skin as he turned her down on her back sliding lower as his hands grabbed behind her knees. Lyla groaned, thinking she would never get tired of this. Sex with Jason had always been an obligation for her; as the star quarterbacks girlfriend you did what you had to do to make him happy since that was your job and nothing else mattered. But with Tim, it was different: there was no sense of obligation just love, lust and desire. Maybe it was the fact that he was so skilled (not for lack of experience she reminded herself) that it felt like he could read her mind or because the passion and fire burning behind his eyes was one that she could return but she was insatiable

"Hey Timmy we need to – WHOA…HOLY…I'll just –." Billy's voice broke her trance. Tim jumped up, tangled in blankets halfway down the bed, immediately moving to cover them. Billy slammed the door, backing out as abruptly as he'd come in.

"You need a lock on that stupid door!" she yelled as she brought the covers up over her face, both mortified and frustrated. She'd been telling Tim for weeks now that this was going to happen one day. She'd even pencilled it in on her day planner to stop at the hardware store.

"I'm so so sorry. Idiotic jackass needs to learn how to knock." Tim said as he tried to pry the covers off her face. To be honest, he was pretty surprised they'd never been caught before. Billy had walked in on him with a plenty a rally girl and even Tyra. But Lyla was different. This wasn't just screwing a girl, this was his girlfriend. He felt a strange need to protect her dignity; she'd once told him that she didn't everyone to think she was stupid for being with him and he was determined to never let that happen.

"Timmy look I don't mean to interrupt…but can you come out here for a sec?" Billys muffled voice came through the door sounding uncomfortanly, making Tim frown with annoyance. His brother had the worst timing. He'd been in the middle of something good right there. Lyla was very much a believer in 'you get what you give'; he'd been halfway done with 'giving' and was just getting excited about the 'getting' part. Looking down at her, she just gave him a shrug, making it pretty clear that the moment had passed.

"I will finish what I started, Garrity." he said to her as she rolled her eyes. Knowing his luck, she'd be asleep when he got back. He jammed on some briefs and hoped Billy was about to tell him he'd won the lottery because that was about the only thing he could think of that was worthy this interruption.

"It better be good Billy" Billy was sitting at the bar, letter in hand. It sure as hell didn't look like lottery ticket in his hand but the expression on Billy's face wasn't one of teasing as he'd been expecting.

"Mom sent us a letter," he said evenly and curtly. Tim sat down beside him, suddenly feeling numb. He hadn't spoken to his mother since he was 10. She'd called about a month after she'd skipped out on them. He'd been home alone when the phone rang and he almost didn't pick up since no one ever called them. But for some reason he did and it was her; she'd asked about school and dad and Billy, never mentioned coming home. He couldn't get up the nerve to ask, thinking that maybe this phone call was her way of telling him that she'd just gone on a little vacation and would be back in no time. In retrospect, it seemed that was her way of saying goodbye, since she'd been too much of a coward to do it in person.

"What does she want?" Tim asked, not even sure he cared at this point.

"I don't know. She says she wants to get to know us. She says she's sorry." Billy handed him the letter.

"I think it's a little too late for that now. She could've gotten to know us real well if she'd bothered to stick around." Tim kept his hands firmly at his sides. He was done with parental reunions. After seeing his dad a few years back and re-opening that wound, he saw his parents as essentially dead to him now. He'd once believed that the abandonment had been somehow his fault: if only he'd eaten all his vegetables or done all his homework his mother and father would've stuck around. But he was to bitter for that now. He realized that they probably never wanted neither him nor Billy no matter what they did.

"She was sick Tim. When she was here with us she was sick and addicted to all kinds of shit. She had to get away or she would've ended up dead. She didn't want to leave us, but she knew she couldn't take care of us." Billy said quietly. It sure sounded like a lot of excuses to Tim. There was other ways and he was sure of it. Nonetheless, the look on Billy's face was pained. He sighed, taking the letter from his brother's hand.

Billy and Timmy,

My dear boys. My beautiful boys. I know you're probably reading this and thinking of every mean and awful thing you've ever wanted to say to me. And I deserve that, I really do. What I did to you was awful and terrible. I wasn't a good person back then. I was a sick person. Drugs and alcohol and a life spent working hard and getting nothing but bad breaks can make someone into the worst person they can be.

I'm sorry for that. I know it doesn't change what happened but I'm hoping it will provide you with some sense of closure to know that I am so incredibly sorry. I didn't want to leave you but I didn't know what to do. My life was on a crash course to nowhere and I didn't want to take you with me. It is my one biggest regret and mistake in life that I let you boys slip out of my hands.

Things have changed a lot since those years and I'm in a good place right now. I'd like to make things right. I know you boys are now grown up and I know I've lost my babies. But I want to meet the incredible men I'm sure you have become. I've been thinking about you both every single day for the last 8 years. I've never let you out of my heart. I never stopped loving you.

I've attached my address and phone number below. I'm really hoping you boys will contact me. I know forgiveness may be out of reach. But I don't think it's too late for us to be a family still. Hoping to hear from you,

Laurel Riggins

"A lot of good her love did for us when we were struggling to pay rent or buy food." Tim mumbled. His fingers were white as he gripped the letter tightly in his hands. He didn't want to admit it, but while a part of him was incredibly angry, he still felt a tug in his chest. This was his mother and she wanted to get to know him…he didn't know what to feel.

"She's in Canada now in Vancouver according to the return address. We should give her a call or something. Can't hurt." Billy said tentatively. He was testing the waters, gauging Tim's reaction. He knew his little brother had been put through the ringer with their father. But this was different. Dad had always been a rancid son of a bitch. But mom wasn't all bad. Billy remembered how she would tuck him in at night, her soft voice as she sang them to sleep and her gentle hands as she washed away the blood and bruises after another one of Walt's alcohol induced rage fits. He didn't know if Tim could remember any of that behind the wall of hurt and betrayal he still felt over her abandonment.

"Do whatever you want Billy. But I don't want any part of this. This isn't about us, this is about her feeling guilty for what she did and wanting to make herself feel like less of a monster. But the truth is she still is a monster to me. Maybe this would've made sense back when she first left. If she'd given some sort of explanation or something. But now? It's too late for this Billy. I don't need a mother anymore." Tim said as he slowing got up and wandered back to his room, leaving Billy still sitting their staring at the letter as if it held all the answers.

Lyla had just started to drift back into sleep when she felt the bed dip beside her. Tim was staring straight up at the ceiling, hands above his head tangled in the Christmas lights that had decorated his room since they were little kids.

"Everything okay?" she asked as she slid next to him. As much as he liked to think of himself as this strong, stoic individual, Lyla could read Tim like a book. His eyes were always a dead giveaway. They would dance and sparkle when he had a crazy idea or wild plan up his sleeve. Or they would darken and his eyebrows would knot when he was worried like now. She smoothed her hand over the creases on his forehead, kissing his shoulder gently.

"Yeah." He replied abruptly before turning around and grabbing her face in his hands, capturing her mouth with his. This kiss felt like desperation, like a man taking a drink after a long trek in the desert. Lyla pushed him away; she wasn't going to do this again. Their first kiss, on the side of the highway out in the rain with her paralyzed boyfriend only minutes away, had been like this. Both of them hungry and raw with emotions that just needed to be released. But things weren't like that now. This was a relationship, with real trust and communication and not just two people looking to bury their problems between the sheets. They'd moved on and fallen in love and she wasn't going to let him hide anymore.

"No, you don't get to do this anymore. You're going to talk to me. What's wrong?" she said as she sat up and untangled herself from him. Tim sighed, but knew she was right. She'd get it out of him eventually. She always did.

"My mom wrote a letter and wants to reconnect. She's been as good as dead for 8 years and now that the guilt is eating her up inside, she want us to kiss and make up." He said, his voice tough but his eyes giving away how much he was feeling.

"Tim…" She didn't know what to say. Her parents were far from perfect. Her mom had become incredibly self-absorbed ever since moving to California; all she heard about when during their weekly phone calls was how Buddy Jr. and Tabby's insolent behavior was ruining her mother's picture perfect life. Her father was another story, all caught up in Panther drama that he often forgot about her entirely. But at least she knew they both loved her and would never even think of abandoning her. She couldn't even imagine what it would feel like to have them disappear like Tim's mom had.

"Do you think you'll write her back?" she asked tentatively. This could be a good thing. Closure was something he desperately needed, she thought.

"I don't want anything to do with her. Back when I needed a mom she wasn't around. Now when I don't need her she suddenly wants back in. Well I'm done with that," Tim said, getting out of bed. "I'm gonna go take a shower. Want to go grab breakfast?"

Lyla nodded, watching him saunter out of the room. He was putting on a brave face but she knew this was affecting him more than he'd ever admit. He just needed some time, she decided, to sort out his feelings about this. He was still too angry. In the meantime however, she thought a shower sounded like a great idea and padded out of bed after him.