I'm very upset right now, because I just read Hitteh Pitteh's new oneshot "For Ameria". I didn't know I caused that! But what's done is done, and here I am, a little sensitive 13 year old, crying for the story. So, let's have ME get it all out.

This is a really... depressing story. It made me cry. And it tells exactly how I'm feeling. You don't need to read it. I don't really expect anyone to read it. But, if you read it, I don't care. Yeah.

Disclaimer: You DON'T want to see me say this, and if I do say it, I will just break out into tears again.

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She sat there, spacing out into the distance, distressed about what happened.

He's gone.

Numerous tears had fallen in those few minutes.

He's gone.

Now she had none left to shed anymore.

He's gone!

No, he couldn't be gone. Not when they had finally settled down, not when they had finally realized that they loved each other... he couldn't be gone! Not when he had been so young, not when... not when they could have done so many other things! He was already gone, and there was nothing she could do about it. But... he COULDN'T be gone!

He shouldn't have died, COULDN'T! He was an excellent fighter, and very strong! How could he have died in that small battle? How could he? He just abandoned her, just left her there to stare off, hoping he would be alright. But did he come back? No.

No. He didn't mean to die. He couldn't help it. Even with skin of stone and demon reflexes, he couldn't help it. No one could.

Finally she got up from the rock, only to stagger down onto the ground. She couldn't live without him... couldn't live... couldn't live?

Maybe... no. He wouldn't approve of that. Neither would her father or her mother... that is, if they were still alive. Her father had died in the same battle.

No one that she cared deeply about even lived anymore. Sure, there was Gourry and Lina, but they had taken off, and weren't even aware of her and her misery... or even the death of her father or... h-him.

She crawled back into the castle, and avoided all the guards without even wanting to. In fact, she would be fine if they caught her... she would recieve a scolding... all that stuff. None of it even mattered anymore.

The first time she saw him, she said he looked like a villain, a bad guy. She had hurt his feelings. He didn't show it, but she knew she had, even while she said it. Then there was that time with Gaav, when he had gotten hit with a sword, and was flown back. It was a horrible sight... him laying there with a huge puddle of blood beneath him...

Then there was a most precious memory. The fight with Phibrizzo. Yes, she had done that little 'dying' trick, but she could still feel him. Feel him pick her up, hug her close, whispering that everything would be all right. Then scream her name when she fell limp. That was the time... the only time when she had traveled with him... that he let his feelings show.

She buried her head into the pillow and screamed. No. He had been her first! Her first kiss. Her first love. Her first... everything. He couldn't be gone... but he was.

He couldn't be gone... but he was.

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Yep. This is the EXACT mood I'm in. I made absolutely no effort to hide the names of the two people... but just in case you spaced out during the whole thing, the two were Ameria and Zelgadiss.

sigh I'm SOOOO sorry Miki! Now I know just how you feel. Yeah yeah, I'm over reacting. Whatever. Who cares.