A/N: This is something I wrote a long time ago and decided I would share. It's set sometime after The Mathematics of Tears and Star-Crossed. The song is "How Do I Not Love You?" by Joy Enriquez and was the love theme in Anna and the King; I just thought it suited Dylan and Rommie very well. The story shifts between Rommie's POV and Dylan's. Hope it's not too confusing. Hope you enjoy! :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did Dylan would have realised long ago that he was in love with Rommie.
How can I not love you?
Can not touch, can not hold, can not be together
Can not love, can not kiss, can not have each other
Must be strong and we must let go
Can not say what our heart must know
How can I not love you?
What do I tell my heart?
When do I not want you here in my arms?
How does one waltz away from all the memories?
How do I not miss you when you're gone?
…
You once told me that the Captain is the heart of their ship, that you were my heart. You have no idea how true those words were - are; I have always loved you. In this place, this time, I love you even more as I am now free to love, free to be. Plus you are the only thing that's familiar.
Now you stand next to me on the Observation Deck as I look at the stars, close, yet untouchable. But I can never tell you that I love you, yet I wonder; do you love me?
…
Can not dream, can not share sweet and tender moments
Can not feel how we feel, must pretend it's over
Must be brave and we must go on
Must not say what we've know all along
How can I not love you?
What do I tell my heart?
When do I not want you here in my arms?
How does one waltz away from all the memories?
How do I not miss you when you're gone?
…
You're staring out at the stars; I pause for a brief moment to get a good look at your profile before I join you. I glance at your face and decide that I do not want to break the silence between us, not yet. So I gaze out into space.
I still remember that time when I told you that I was your heart, I never realised that you would turn out to be my heart. Yet somehow I have always known it to be true, but dismissed it. Then Harper gave you this form and I could ignore it no longer. I love you.
…
How do I not love you?
Must be brave and we must be strong
Must not say what we've know all along
…
You haven't broken the silence, I glance at your face; you're staring out at the stars, lost in thought. I leave you to your musings and return to my own. Your proximity is, daunting; I am a warship, I am not afraid of anything, except losing you. I see what became of my sister, Pax, when she lost her Captain, I wonder if I would do the same if I lost you.
…
How can I not love you?
What do I tell my heart?
When do I not want you here in my arms?
How does one waltz away from all the memories?
How do I not miss you when you're gone?
...
I wonder what you are thinking of; you glanced at me before you turned back to stars. Perhaps you are wondering why I haven't broken the silence, why I joined you only to be silent. Yet for some reason this moment seems…precious. Like we are on the same wavelength somehow; I hope you know that you are very special to me. I do not know what I would do if I lost you; it would be more then losing a ship I would be losing someone special as well. Perhaps I should tell you how I feel now before someone interrupts us and before I lose you.
…
How can I not love you when you're gone?
…
You have been silent for a long time, yet the silence is comfortable. I am always comfortable with you, I trust you. The hardest thing that I have ever had to do was to say goodbye to you when I was going to leave with Gabriel. Thank God I did not end up leaving; it was painful to lose him, but my…other self, was right, he was just a substitute for you.
Presently you break the silence…
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A/N: I leave it up to you to decide whether Dylan spills the beans or not (personally I like to think he does) :)