Tourist Trapped
The sun shined over a nice little backwoods town, all seemed right and normal in the world. In one field a nice family was having a barbecue with two little twins running around.
'Ah summer break." Dipper narrated.
"So do you wasn't cheese on that hon?" the man asked his wife.
"Sure Hank." she replied who was sitting wit a few friends.
"A time for leisure, taking a break from school, relaxation, and just taking her easy..."
We then look over to sign that read "Welcome to Gravity Falls".
"...That is unless you're our family." Lincoln finished.
The sign was then broken by a speeding golf cart that was trying to escape from unknown assailant. In it were 13 kids; 5 of them were teenagers, 4 were pre-teens, 3 were toddlers, and 1 baby.
"Ahhhhh!" They all shouted as the cart swirled a little.
Behind them, trees were being knocked down by an unseen force with a monster like growl.
"It's getting closer!" A long brown haired girl with braces and a sweater with a star fearfully said.
"Lori, drive faster!" a blonde girl in a light green dress told the other blonde girl in blue who was driving.
"What does it literally look like I'm doing Leni?!" Lori barked back at her sister.
"Let's get back there and knock its teeth out!" A brunette girl with a red and white t-shirt pronounced.
"Are you insane Lynn?!" a white haired boy in orange asked. "That thing will tear us apart!"
"I should have known our end would come." A black haired goth girl said neutrally.
"Not now Lucy!" a brown haired boy in a blue vest told her. "Just keep driving, the Shack should be just up ahead!"
"That's assuming the cart doesn't waste all its fuel." a little brown haired glasses wearing girl remarked. "By which point we will undoubtedly meet our certain demise."
"You're so not helping Lisa!" a little blonde girl dressed like a princess barked. "Can we at least slow down? This speed is seriously messing up my hair!"
"Who cares about your hair?" her twin sister with overalls and baseball cap backwards asked. "This so cool!" she whooped.
"Normally I'd agree." a brown haired girl with a punk rock look said. "But not when it means our lives are on the line! On the plus side I got a wicked idea for an album cover.
"That's great Luna." another brunette with braces said. "How about covering us." she chuckled. "Get it?"
No one laughed.
"Hey just trying to bring some levity."
"Wahhhhh!" the baby cried.
"Shh, don't worry Lily, we'll be just fine." the white haired boy comforted her. "I hope."
"I believe introductions are in order. My name is Dipper Loud."
"And I'm his brother Lincoln, the white haired dude holding the baby. The rest are our sisters."
"The one next to me who's about to puke is my twin Mabel. Everyone else is Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lola, Lana, Lisa, and Lily. Now you may be wondering what we're all doing in a golf cart fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror."
Said creature picked up a tree and chucks it over the siblings and blocked their path.
"Look out Lori!" Mabel pointed.
The oldest sibling swerved the cart.
"Ahhhh!" everyone screamed once more as they were about to impact on the tree but then froze.
"Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation." Dipper claimed.
"More or less." Lincoln added.
"It all started back in our hometow; Royal Woods, Michigan. School had just ended an our family were ready to enjoy the summer." Dipper started.
"In all honesty, it would have been like how it's always been." Lincoln continued. "We would get into some hijinks, resolve it and move on with our lives. Being the only brothers in a big family can lead to pretty hectic stuff."
At the Loud house, everyone was doing their usual hobbies. Lori was calling her boyfriend, Bobby, Leni was drawing new fashion designs, Luna was strumming on her guitar, Luan was telling her usual jokes, Lynn was bouncing a basketball, Mabel was hugging a toy cat, Dipper was playing a videogame, Lincoln was reading a comic, Lucy was just sitting there all creepy-like, Lola and Lana were arguing, Lisawas comparing a few notes, and Lily was hugging her blanky.
"Our parents however had a different idea. They thought we spend way too much time in our house so they decided we could use some fresh air."
All of their possessions were abruptly taken away and were given duffel bags, the dad put on a brown hat on Dipper, and put sunscreen on their noses.
"So they shipped us off to a sleepy town in Oregon called Gravity Falls to stay at our great uncle's or Grunkle as we call him place that's way deep in the woods." Lincoln further explained.
Once they arrived, their Grunkle didn't have a lot of rooms so he put them up at the attic with a few beds. They were unpacking their stuff and were settling in, Mabel had just put up her poster of the latest teen heartthrob.
"This attic is amazing." she said optimistic. "Check out all my splinters you guys." she put her hands up to show them.
"Lucky." Lana said envious.
Dipper was walking to his bed but saw something that shouldn't be there.
"And there's a goat on my bed." he commented, looking at the animal.
"At least yours doesn't have old man stink." Lori snarked, holding her nose in disgust.
"Hello friend." Mabel greeted the goat. It then started to chew on her sleeve. "Oh yes you can keep chewing on my sweater. Ha ha." she chuckled.
"Me next, I wanna pet it!" Leni exclaimed.
"Mabel, Lana, Luna, Luan, Lynn, and Lily mostly looked at the bright side of things."
Now they were outside playing, Mabel was rolling down a hill.
"Yay, grass!" she cheered.
Lana was playing in a mud puddle.
"Ha ha ha, so much mud here!" the toddler laughed.
Luan was by a tree with a woodpecker.
"Knock knock. Whose there you may ask? It's you. Get it?" she laughed.
Luna was playing a catch tune with her guitar with Lily on her lap.
"I'm so gonna kill it at the campfire songs." Luna boasted. "Right Lily?"
Her baby sister clapped happily.
Lynn was hitting a puching bug she hung up on a branch.
"These woods are gonna make an awesome training center."
"Myself and Lincoln on the other hand were having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings."
"Not just us, but the rest too. Lori was peeved that she and Bobby were far away so much that it's a hassle to get a good phone reception."
"Come on, need to text boyfriend." Lori grumbled raising her phone in the air.
"Leni was creeped out by all the bugs..."
"Ah!" Leni screamed in fright. "There was a spider and beetle in my sleeping bag!"
"Lisa couldn't find the time of day to complete her experiments..."
The intellectual child was mixing a vat of chemicals until Mabel rolled over making her drop it.
"Careful! You're fortunate that wasn't highly volatile otherwise you wouldn't be laughing."
"Though we couldn't tell how Lucy was taking this."
The goth in question was just sitting down doing nothing.
Dipper and Lincoln were sitting under a tree and were annoyed by the constant pecking of two other woodpeckers on their heads.
"Boo!" a man in a mask suddenly appeared next to them.
"AHH!" they both screamed falling backwards.
The man took off his mask revealing an elderly man in a business like suit, he wore glasses and a hat with a crescent shaped symbol.
"Ha ha ha!" he laughed, finding their shared fear amusing.
"And then there was our great uncle Stanford Pines. He was on our mom's side." Dipper informed.
The brothers sent angry looks at him, not founding it as funny as he did.
After slapping his knee, the old timer coughed. *cough* *cough* "It was worth it." he said in between.
"Our uncle had remodeled his house into a tourist trap he dubbed the "Mystery Shack".
Stan was seen guiding a few tourists through various made up attractions that for some reason they bought.
"The real mystery was why anyone came."
"True that." Lincoln agreed.
"Ladies and gentlemen behold..." Stan gestured to a statue that looked like Bigfoot only he was wearing underwear. "The Sascrotch"
Unbelievably, the people ate it all up and took a lot of pictures.
"Take a wild guess on who had to work there for the summer."
The answer; all of the Loud kids. Dipper was sweeping the floor and sighed, while Mable reached to touch a plastic giant eyeball, until Stan smacked her hand with his cane making her reel back and causing the kids to glare at him.
"No touching the merchandise." he ordered sharply.
"It looked like it was gonna be the same routine all summer, but one fateful day..."
It was another boring day in the Mystery Shack, the Loud kids have only been in town for a week and they were already sick of their new job, well except for Mabel.
Speaking of the cheerful energetic girl she popped her head from behind a counter with an excited grin.
"Oh my gosh, guys get over here." she beckoned her siblings who complied. "He's looking at it, he's looking at it!" she gleefully squealed.
Nearby, a boy around her age unfolded a letter he found.
"Do you like me? Yes, definitely..." he read. "Absolutely?" he questioned, confused.
"I rigged it." Mabel giggled.
"Uh no offence sis, but that's not how it works." Lori told her.
"Yeah, Mabel." Dipper agreed. "I mean I know you're going through your whole boy crazy phase, but I think you're overdoing it with the crazy part."
His siblings muttered in agreement.
"Yeah, not even Lori was this weird when she first met Bobby." Luna remarked.
"Yeah." Lori agreed before scowling. "Hey!"
"What? Pfft." Mabel blew a raspberry. "Dipper, guys come on. This is our first summer away from home." she pointed out. "Its my big chance to have an epic summer romance."
"I like totally get that." Leni assured. "But Dip's right, you come on way too strong."
"Plus do you have to flirt with every new guy you meet?" Lincoln reminded. "Ever since we were little, Mabel's always had this whole thing with flirting with boys 24/7." he told the readers.
Flashback...
"One time there was that kid from yesterday." he recalled.
Mabel was next to boy who was checking out a brochure.
"My name is Mabel." she greeted. "But you can call me the "girl of your dreams". she added with a flirty look.
The boy looked put off and then was pushed by her, knocking down a stand with other brochures.
"I'm joking!" she exclaimed, laughing hysterically, Lincoln was nearby and just face-palmed.
"Then there was that dude with the turtle." Luna chimed in.
A boy with glasses was casually sitting on a bench holding his pet turtle until Mabel popped up.
"No way, you like turtles?" she asked faking being shocked. "I like turtles too. What is happening here?"
"Okay dial it back sis." Luna said as she dragged her home. "Sorry about that man." she apologized to the boy.
"Don't even get me started with the mattress prince." Lori added.
"Come one come all, to the mattress prince's kingdom of savings." a teen dressed like a king beckoned customers.
"Take me with you." Mabel whispered, from behind a sign.
"Ah!" he screamed, surprised.
"Mabel, don't wander off." Lori chided sternly, taking her younger sister by the hand.
"And of course who cloud forget your previous infatuation with Alexander Hamilton's face on the 10 dollar bill?" Lisa reminded.
"Even I thought that was creepy." Lucy remarked.
"Mock all you want brothers and sisters." Mabel said, undaunted by their examples. "But I got a good feeling about this summer." she crossed her arms confidently. "I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now." she pointed to the museum entrance.
As if on cue, Stan Pines walked out.
*burp* "Ugh." *burp* "Ugh, not good. Ow." he grimaced holding his side in pain.
"Aw, why?" Mabel cringed in disgust, her siblings however laughed at this.
"I don't know Mabes, seems like a match made in heaven to me." Luan chuckled.
"Totally." Lynn agreed.
"Definitely you're type." Lola quipped while Lana kissing noises.
"Alright, look alive people." Stan ordered.
"But we already are alive." Leni pointed out confusedly.
"Oi." he sighed. "I mean get ready. Anyway I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest." he explained holding up cardboard arrows.
"Not it!" the kids exclaimed together.
"Uh, also not it." an adult man with a brown hat and green shirt with a question mark on it, he was on a ladder drilling in a shelf.
"Nobody asked you Soos." Stan pointed out.
"I know and I'm comfortable with that." Soos replied before munching on a chocolate bar. Soos Ramirez was the shack's resident handyman whom the kids instantly made friends with. He acts like a kid despite his age.
"Wendy, I need you put up these signs." Stan told the teenage girl at the cash register who was reading a magazine, she was wearing a plaid green shirt, blue pants, and a lumberjack hat. This was Wendy Corduroy; another one of the shack's employees her job is the cashier. All the kids think she's cool due to her laid back nature, plus Dipper has a crush on her.
"I would but I ugh...can't reach it...ugh." she said, faking having trouble.
"I'd fire all of you if I could." Stan warned. "Okay let's make it you two." he pointed to Dipper and Lincoln.
"Aw what?" Dipper grimaced.
"Come on." Lincoln complained.
"Grunkle Stan whenever I'm out in those woods I feel like I'm being watched." Dipper told him.
"Ugh, this again." Stan pinched the bridge of his nose; he's gotten annoyed by his great nephew's paranoia.
"I'm telling you something weird is going on in this town." Dipper tried to reason. "Just today my mosquito bites spelled out "beware"." he showed his great uncle said bite to convince him.
"That says "bewarb"." Stan corrected.
Indeed it did. Dipper pulled his arm back and rubbed it in embarrassment.
"Although that is quite fascinating." Lisa remarked. "The effects of Culicidae aren't known for this."
"Look kid, the whole monsters in the forest thing is just local legend, came up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that." Stan pointed to a customer who was marveling at a Stan bobble head. "So quit being so paranoid and get to working with your brother." he ordered throwing them the signs.
Dipper sighed dejectedly.
The two brothers spent the next half hour hammering the signs in the forest that lead to the Mystery Shack just as they were told to. Lincoln was completely bored while Dipper was bummed that Stan waved off his worries as if they didn't matter at all.
"Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes what I say." Dipper grumbled.
"Hey chin up bro, if it's any consolation I believe what you say." His only brother assured. "I mean just look at this spooky forest, classic place to get attacked by a monster or something."
"It's not just that Linc, no one believes in what I believe and I'm sick of it." Dipper explained.
Lincoln looked at his brother with pity before looking at the readers. "Dipper's always been a fan of all things paranormal and things that normal science can't explain. It's been his obsession for a long time and hates it whenever someone says they don't exist and call him out for believing in it."
Dipper was hammering up the last of the signs until the hammer hit the tree and made a deep bang sound.
"Huh?" he questioned. "Hey Lincoln come look at this." he told his brother. Once he did Dipper banged the hammer on the tree so that they could hear the sound again.
"Sounds like the tree is made out of metal?" Lincoln surmised with a confused look.
Dipper put his hand on the bark and slided it seeing there dust on it, once he reached the sidecar saw that there was an opening. He opened what was revealed to be a door, they looked at what was inside and saw a contraption of unkown make.
They both looked at each other in suspense and Dipper flipped the two switches but nothing happened until they heard the sound of something opening up they turned around and saw that a secret door revealed itself. They approached it a bit wearily, inside they were both excited and kinda nervous.
"What the?" Dipper questioned as he and his brother looked inside.
The contents were a book covered in dust and cobwebs, he reached down to pick it up and blew away all the dust reavealing a yellow six-handed symbol on the cover.
"Okay, this is weird." Lincoln remarked.
Dipper put the mysterious book on the ground and opened it up. On myths right was a paper that read "Property of", but the name was cut off from below. On the left it read Volume 3. Dipper turned to the first page which had weird drawings.
"It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wonderous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon." Dipper read. He scouted through the pages and they saw entries on strange creatures and other anomalies line floating eyeballs, giant vampire bats, gnomes, cursed doors, etc.
"What is all this?" Lincoln asked, awed by the pages.
"No idea." Dipper replied equally astounded, he then stopped at the final pages of the journal. "Unfortunately my suspicions have been cofnfirmed, I'm being watched." he continued to read. "I must hide this journal before he finds it. Remember, in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust." This was emphasized by the big words "Trust No One" written below.
"Well, this all kinds of cryptic and mysterious." Lincoln commented. "Eh Dipper?" he got no response. "Dipper?"
His brother was too enthralled by the journal and the information inside. It was the last message that really had his focus.
"No one you can trust." he repeated with a thoughtful look.
"Hello!" Mabel suddenly popped in startling them, the others were with her.
"What are you guys doing here?" Lincoln asked.
"You guys took too long so we went to get you." Lori explained.
Mabel looked at Dipper intently. "By the way bro-bro, what you reading, some nerd thing?" she guessed.
Dipper hid the journal behind his back. "Uh uh, it's nothing." he stammered.
"Uh uh it's nothing." Mabel mimicked. "Are you actually not gonna show us?" she chuckled.
"Yeah, show us Dipper." Lana begged.
"Show us, show us, show us." she and Lola changed.
"Uh." Dipper looked back and saw the goat from his bed chewing on the corner of the journal. "Let's go somewhere private."
Back at the shack, the kids were in the living room where Dipper showed them the journal.
"It's amazing you guys." Dipper told them. "Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid but according to this book, Gravity Falls had this secret dark side." he showed a few pages.
"Woah!" Mabel said in amazement. "Shut up!" she pushed her twin.
"And get this." Lincoln continued. "After a certain point, the pages just stop. As if the guy who wrote it just mysteriously disappeared."
"Hold on a second guys, this could all just be some prank." Lori interjected with a doubtful tone. "Grunkle Stan probably put it in the woods."
"I'm not so sure Lori, the book was hidden underground and could only be opened by this switch behind a secret metal tree." Dipper explained "We may have been here for a week but we've Stan's way of hiding things, it isn't really that clever."
"That's true." Lynn admitted. "He tried to hide the ice cream bucket on top of the refrigerator."
"Also, the wordings in this journal seem to be well detailed and has words that he probably doesn't know how to spell." Lisa added. "Though I too am skeptical of its accuracy. None of this seems scientifically possible."
"Oh but look it has fairies and mer-people." Lola pointed.
Before they could continue the doorbell rung.
"Who's that?" Dipper asked.
"Welp, time to spill the beans." Mabel promptly tipped over a can of beans. "Wop, beans." she quipped.
"Ha ha, good one." Luan chuckled.
"This girl's got a date!" Mabel revealed proudly. "Whoop whoop."
"Eeeeeee!" Leni squealed. "Tell me all about it."
"Well before we went out to look for our brothers, I met this cute boy and asked me out." she answered.
"So let me get this straight, in the half hour Lincoln and I were gone you already found a boyfriend?" Dipper asked in disbelief.
"What can I say, I guess I'm irresistible!" the doorbell rung twice. "Oh coming!" she said running off.
"Hey, think you guys can keep this a secret?" Dipper asked.
"Even though I think it's completely ridiculous." Lori said before smiling. "Sure thing little bro."
"We got your back man." Luna added.
"That's what's family's for." Lola and Lana chimed.
"Thanks guys." he smiled in gratitude.
Dipper sits down on the couch and starts to read the journal. Grunkle Stan walks in with a can of Pit Cola and sees Dipper.
"What'cha reading there slick?" he asked.
"Oh, uh..." Dipper hid the journal under the cushion and grabbed a magazine. "I was just catching up on..." he looks at the cover. "...Gold Chains For Old Men Magazine?"
"You were?" Leni asked confused. "But I though you were looking at a..." she was cut off by Luan putting her hand on her mouth.
"That's a good issue." Stan informed as he took a sip of his soda.
"Hey family!" Mabel announced making everyone look to her. "Say hello to my new boyfriend!" she introduced a taller boy standing next to her. He was wearing a black hoodie and dark pants, he looked really pale and had one bang of his brown hair covering his left eye.
"'Sup?" he greeted.
Her family looked a little creeped out, even Lucy.
"Hey." Dipper greeted back with uncertainty.
"How's it hanging?" Stan greeted.
"Nice to meet you I guess." Lincoln said, getting a bad vibe from this guy.
"We met at the cemetery. He's real deep like Lucy." Mabel explained. "Oh little muscle there." she admired as she felt his arm. "What a surprise. Don't suppose you have a brother."
"I'm an only child." he replied.
"Ooh, sorry Luce." she apologized.
"Don't worry about it." Lucy smiled lightly, knowing she meant well.
"So, you got a name?" Lori asked.
The boy looked panicked. "Normal...MAN!"
"He means Norman." Mabel corrected.
"Hey are you bleeding?" Lana asked motioning to the red liquid on his cheek. "Can I have it?" she asked hopefully.
"It's jam." Norman replied.
Mabel gasped. "I love jam! Look at this." she gestured to the both of them.
"So, you wanna go hold hands or whatever?" Norman asked.
"Oh, oh my goodness. Don't wait up." she said as she went out followed by her new bf.
Once they were out of earshot, the kids turned to each other.
"Okay is anyone else a little weirded out by him?" Lincoln asked. "It can't just be me."
"Now Lincoln, I'm sure he's just going through his awkward phase." Lori suggested.
"He's probably just nervous around girls." Lola said. "All boys are like that."
"As long as they don't constantly call each other, I have no complaints." Lynn remarked.
"Hey!" Lori scowled.
"I don't know, there's something off about him." Dipper said.
"Think we should investigate?" Lincoln asked.
"Definitely." he responded.
Up in the attic/their bedroom, the brothers decided to consult with the journal to see if Norman fit the description on the creatures inside.
"Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for...teenagers!" Dipper read fearfully.
Lincoln read the rest. "Beware Gravity Falls' nefarious...
They looked at a drawing of a zombie that looked had an uncanny similarity to Norman.
"ZOMBIE!" they both screamed in fright that echoed.
Down in the bathroom, Stan was facing the mirror trying to fix his tie with help from Leni but stopped once they heard the echo.
"Did somebody say..."crombie"? he asked confused. "What is that crombie? Not even a word. You're losing your mind."
"Sounded more like mombie." Leni countered.
The boys fearfully looked out out the window and saw Norman limping towards Mabel in a menacing manner.
"Grr." he growled.
"I like you." she told him, ignorant of the apparent danger.
"Oh no, Mabel!" they both screamed as he put his hands around her neck.
Fortunately he didn't strangle her as they initially thought, instead he wrapped a necklace made of flowers around her neck.
"Daisies? You scaly wag." she smiled.
They both sighed in relief.
"Thank goodness." Lincoln signed.
"You two okay?"
They yelped and saw that Lucy suddenly appeared.
"Lucy?" Dipper asked. "When did you get here?"
"Heard you yell "zombie", I came up to see why." she explained.
"Well this may sound weird but trust us we believe Mabel's boyfriend might be a zombie." Lincoln told her.
"Now before you say anything-"
"I believe you." she said.
"Try and look at it from our point of view-wait you do?" he asked surprised.
"Why?" Lincoln asked as well.
"I didn't show it, but I thought something was up with Norman as well. I sensed a sinister intention from him along with deceit." the goth explained. "That and I always wanted to see a zombie."
"Okay..." Lincoln responded with a raised eyebrow. "But let's think guys, is our sister really dating a zombie, or are we nuts?"
"It's a dilemma to be sure."
Dipper and Lincoln yelped in surprise again by another sudden appearance, this time it was Soos, who was screwing in a light bulb.
"Hey Soos." Lucy greeted, unfazed.
"'Sup dude." he greeted back. "Now I couldn't help but overhear what you guys were talking about in this empty room without your permission."
"Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend." Dipper pointed out knowing anyone would be put off by him. "He's gotta be a zombie right?"
The handyman rubbed his chin in thought. "Hmm. How many brains did you see the guy eat?"
"Zero." Dipper admitted with a frown.
"But he does limp a lot; and has an inhuman groan, so there's that." Lincoln supplied.
"And he reeks of death." Lucy added. "The scent that I smell everyday of my life."
Her brothers and friend looked at her in silence.
"'Kay." Soos said, breaking it. "Look dudes I believe you 100 percent; I've lived in this town my whole life and I'm always noticing weird stuff, like you know that mailman?
"You mean Sean?" Lincoln questioned.
"That's him." Soos nodded. "I'm pretty sure that dude's a werewolf." he recalled a time when said mailman passed by and noticed how hairy he looked. "But you gotta have evidence, otherwise people are gonna think you're a majorly cuckoo clock."
"As always Soos, you're right." Dipper nodded, seeing the logic.
"Does your wisdom know no bound?" Lincoln asked him.
"It is both a blessing and a curse my white haired friend." Soos replied sagely.
"Deep." Lucy commented with respect.
Then Grunkle Stan called from the downstairs.
"Soos the portable toilets are clogged again!"
He adjusted his cap. "I am needed elsewhere." he walked backwards to the exit.
Dipper turned to his brother and sister. "Okay guys, you heard him we need genuine evidence to expose Normam for what he really is. You ready?"
They both nodded with determination.
"Then let's get to work."
With that; Dipper, Lincoln, and Lucy followed Mabel and Norman all over town, first they videotaped them in the park where Mabel threw a frisbee at Norman but failed to catch it and it hit his head making him collapse.
Cut to the inside of the Gravity Falls Diner where at the front door the window was broken by a hand that opened it from the inside by Norman. He allowed Mabel to go in first, as he followed he kept crashing into things, they don't notice that the three of them are at a nearby holding menus to hide their faces.
We then see the couple frolicking through a cemetery laughing joyously until Normam fell into an open grave full of dirt. His hand pops up and he rises from it while screaming.
"Raghhhh"
They paused for a boy before laughing again.
Dipper, Lucy, and Lincoln were hiding behind a tombstone.
"I've seen enough." Dipper decided.
"Agreed." Lincoln nodded.
"If he's not a zombie, then I might not as tortured as I seem." Lucy added.
Back in the shack, the other Loud sisters were in the living room watching TV until the door opened.
"Guys, where's Mabel?" Dipper asked.
"She's up in the attic/our room." Lynn answered. "Why?"
"'Cause we gotta show her some evidence we gathered." Lincoln explained.
"It will reveal her boyfriend's true nature." Lucy said.
Lori rolled her eyes. "Seriously? Guys I admit that Norman is literally...unnerving but it's not our business to judge."
"Maybe, but ask yourselves; what do we know about him?" Lincoln told them. "I mean Mabel just met the guy hours ago and suddenly they're going out." he pointed out. He then turned to the oldest. "Lori, didn't it take weeks until Bobby asked you out when you first met?"
"Well yeah." she admitted, he did raise good points.
"Now that I think about, when I asked Wendy about him, she said she's never seen him before; and she practically knows everyone in this town." Luna added.
"Okay I admit that is weird." Lori said.
"Look you may not believe what we think of Norman." Dipper started. "But believe that we want to make sure Mabel doesn't get hurt."
Lori and the others saw that despite their paranoia, they were looking out for their sister, and as fellow siblings it's only right that they do the same.
"Fine." Lori conceded. "Can we come with?"
"Sure."
Now, they all went upstairs to the attic to talk with their energetic sister. Once that opened the door, she was just finished brushing her hair.
"Mabel, we need to talk about Norman." Dipper told her.
"Isn't he the best? Look at this giant smooch mark he gave me." she turned her head to show a big red dot on her cheek.
"Ah!" her siblings recoiled a bit disturbed.
"Okay if he does that in the lips, we're gonna have some problems." Lori promised with a stern glare.
"Ha ha! Gullible. It was just an accident with the leafblower." she explained.
Cut to Mabel outside a few hours ago. She taped a picture of Norman to the tube of a leafblower.
"Kissing practice!" she announced as she turned it on. She then leans into the picture puckering her lips until the blower sucked in the picture and stuck to her face as well making her run around in panic.
"AHHHHH! Turn it off! Turn it off!" she yelled.
Back to the present.
"That was fun." Mabel smiled fondly at the memory.
"Okay, note to self keep Mabel away from outside tools." Lori whispered.
"No, Mabel listen! We're trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems!" Dipper said without question as he showered her the journal.
Mabel gasped. "You think he might be a vampire?" she asked hopefully. "That would be so awesome!"
"Dare to dream sis." Lucy told her.
"Guess again sister, SHA-BAM!" Dipper announced showing her the Gnome entry.
"Agh!" Mabel yelped in disgust.
"Um Dipper, wrong page." Lincoln informed him.
"Huh?" Dipper questioned, he looked and saw that his brother was right. "Oh, I'm-I'm sorry." he flipped to the zombie page. "Shabam!"
"A zombie?" Mabel tilted her head. "That is not funny you guys." she said with a frown
"We're not joking!" Dipper assured. "It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp. He never blinks! Have you noticed that?"
"Man is raising good points Mabes." Lincoln said.
"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking." Mabel offered.
"That is statistically impossible." Lisa remarked.
"Don't tell me you guys are siding with them." Mabel asked her sisters, exasperated.
"Well we're not saying he's a monster or whatever." Lori assured. "But what do you know about him other than his name?"
"Yeah, I mean has he said anything about his family?" Lola asked.
"Do you know where he lives or if he likes mud?" Lana asked as well.
"No, not really." Mabel admitted.
"Look sis, we just want make sure you're cool." Luna told her.
"And remember what the book said about Gravity Falls?" Dipper reminded. "Trust no one!"
"Well what about me huh? Why can't you trust me?" she asked them before she puts on star earrings. "Beep boop!"
"Mabel, he's gonna eat you're brain!" Dipper insisted while shaking her.
"Don't you see we're trying to save you?" Lincoln told her.
"Dipper, Lincoln, listen to me." Mabel said sternly. "Norman and I are going on a date at 5:00 and I'm gonna be adorable and he's gonna be dreamy." As she talked, she began to make her brothers and sisters back up to the door. "And I'm not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracies!"
"But Mabel, they just want to-" Lori tried to defend but she cut her off.
"And you all!" Mabel turned to her sisters. "I don't butt into your love lives so don't butt into mine!" she demanded as she slammed the door in their faces.
They all slumped on the floor dejectedly. Lily looked like she was gonna cry.
"That went well." Lincoln muttered sarcastically.
"What are we gonna do?" Dipper asked sadly.
Back in the living room, the owl clock rung, signifying the time to be 5:00. The sound of the doorbell was heard and Mabel ran down the stairs putting on her new sweater.
"Coming!" she called. She opened the door greeted by the sight of her boyfriend. "Hey Norman, how do I look?" she gestured to her sparkling sweater with a cat and the words Meow Wow.
"Shiny..." he answered.
"Aw, you always know what to say." she walked out smiling as he held her hand with his.
Her twin brother and her other sibs watched them walk off from the living room.
Dipper was disappointed with himself, despite his best efforts he couldn't get his sister to listen to him about his suspicions and now that he thought about it, maybe he was being a paranoid freak.
"Soos is right." he sadly admitted getting the others' attention. "I don't have any real evidnece." he said as he watched the recordings he did on each of their dates. "I guess I can be a little paranoid sometimes-" he stopped mid-sentence as he saw one clip of Norman with an arm wrapped around Mabel and saw his hand come right off and he re-attached it while maing sure no one was looking. "Wait, what?!" he exclaimed. He rewind back to the clip and saw it again, he wasn't the only one, his brother and sisters also bore witness and were just as shocked.
"Oh my Gosh! He is a zombie!" Lincoln exclaimed.
"N-No way, that is literally impossible!" Lori objected with fright.
"How else can you explain the dude's hand coming off?!" Luna asked frantically.
"But this is scientifically impossible!" Lisa objected. "The very concept of an actual re-animated corpse is at best theoretical!"
"Hand came off-his hand came off-hand is off." Leni stammered.
"Well I gotta hand it to you both." Luan told her little brothers. "Looks you were right." she chuckled nervously.
Everyone stared at her with an "are you serious?" look.
"Now? You're really making a pun right now?" Lynn incredulously asked.
"Its how I can make sense of this, alright?!" Luan defended.
"He's gonna eat Mabel's brain!" Lola and Lana shouted.
"Sigh. I had hoped Mabel wasn't the first of us to go." Lucy said with sadness.
Lily was crying uncontrollably.
The girls were completely freaking out over this new development, no scientific explanation by Lisa could possibly calm them or anyone else down. They were all afraid, not just for them, but mostly for Mabel because she was out there all alone with him. Their brothers knew they had to do something about this, but first they had to calm all of them down.
"Everyone, stop panicking!" Dipper ordered, making them stop. "Look I understand why you're freaked out, heck I am and I suspected it, but right now our sister is out there with an undead abomination." he reminded. "And she could be in danger right now."
"Yeah guys.' Lincoln agreed. "We can stay here and scream all day. Or better yet, we save Mabel, are you with us?'
"Yeah!" they all replied, determined.
"Then come on, we gotta get Stan.' Dipper siad as he and everyone else ran out the door.
They looked for their great uncle and saw him on a stage, entertaining a crowd full of tourists.
"And here we have Rock that looks like a face rock: the rock that looks like a face." the old conman gestured to a big rock piece with eyes and a mouth carved on it.
The crowd was kinda confused by this concept. "Does it look like a rock?" a random hillbilly asked.
"No, it looks like a face." Stan corrected.
"Is it a face?" another tourist asked.
"It's a rock that looks like a face." he simplified further, getting annoyed.
Dipper and his family tried to get his attention they repeatedly called his name but he was too focused on explaining what the attraction he was presenting stood for.
"For the fifth time! It's-It's not an actual face!"
"Erghh!" Dipper grumbled. This was getting them nowhere.
Out in the woods, Mabel and Norman were completely cut off from the outside world, away from any nearby people. Which is never really a good place to be if you're in a horror movie.
"Finally, we're alone." Mabel smiled contently.
"Yes. Alone..." Norman agreed moving a bit too close to her and moved his hand forward.
Back at the shack, the band of siblings were still trying on vain to get their great uncle's attention.
"Stan! Stan!" Dipper tried once more but with no such luck. He looked around frantically to find another way and saw the Mystery Shack golf cart being parked by Wendy. "Guys, the cart." he told them making them look. "Wendy!" he called to the redhead as he and his sibling ran up to her. "Wendy, Wendy, we need to borrow the golf cart so we ca save our sister from a zombie!" he explained.
The teen stared for a few seconds and looked at the oldest sister.
Lori shrugged her shoulders. "Kids." she smiled nervously.
Wendy smiled amusingly and handed the keys to the cart to Lori. "Try not to hit any pedestrians." she playfully advised, winking.
Every one smiled upon this and instantly got on the cart, Lori was sitting in the driver's seat and pushed the gas pedal with a lot of force and took off but Soos stopped them.
"Dudes, its me Soos." he greeted.
"Hi As." ze replied.
He handed Lincoln a shovel. "This is for the zombie."
"Thanks." Lincoln responded handing it to Luna.
The handyman then handed him a baseball bat. "And this is in case you see a piñata."
Lincoln took it and was confused. He looked to his siblings and they shrugged in response. "Um..thanks?" he said, uncertain. Now that they had what they needed, Lori started the cart again and drove off.
"Better safe than sorry!" Soos called to them."
Back with the lovebirds, they stood in silence for a a moment and then Norman turned around.
"Uh, Mabel." he started. "Now that we've gotten to know each other there's..." he exhaled deeply. "...there's something I should tell you." he told her as wind blew on his hair and had a brooding look on his face.
"Oh Norman, you can tell me anything." Mabel assured. 'Please be a vampire. Please be a vampire.' she thought with hope.
"Alright, just...just don't freak okay?" he told her. "Just, just keep an open mind, be cool!" he unzipped his hoodie while Mabel watched with suspense. Once it was completely off, Norman revealed his true nature: underneath he was actually 5 gnomes stacked up to look like a person, two were holding sticks with plastic hands. Mabel looked at him-er them, completely stupefied. her wasn't a zombie or a vampire; he was a bunch of little woodland creatures!
"Is this weird?" the top gnome asked. "Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?"
She continued to stare with her jaw hanging open.
"Right, I'll explain. So were gnomes." he gestured to him and his friends. "First off, get that out of the way."
"Uh..."
"I'm Jeff." he introduced, before pointing to his cohorts."And here we have Carson, Steve, Jason, and..." Jeff tried to remember the last one's name but was having difficulty. "I'm sorry I always forget your name."
"Schmebulock." he answered.
Meanwhile, Mabel sat down and rubbed her temples trying to process all this.
Jeff snapped his fingers. "Schmebulock, yes. Anyways long story short us gnomes have been looking for a new queen! The last one had an...accident with jam that we'd rather not speak about, so we've been searching right fellas?"
"Queen! Queen!" the other gnomes chanted in a sinister manner.
"So what do ya say?" Jeff tapped his foot on a head making it seem like they're getting on one knee. Carson used the fake hand to hold up a box with a wedding ring. "Will you join us in holy matri-gnomey. Matrimony!" he corrected himself. "Blah, I can't talk today."
Though she was still a little freaked out, Mabel took her time to give an appropriate response.
"Look, I'm sorry guys." she apologized. "But I'm a girl, you're gnomes and it's like what? You can't be smart as my little sister Lisa to see that it'll never work."
The gnomes shared a depressed glance.
"We understand." Jeff said sadly. "We'll never forget you Mabel."
Mabel smiled, glad that they saw things her way...until she heard what Jeff said next.
"Because we're gonna kidnap you." he told her plainly.
"Huh?" she questioned not expecting that.
Jeff leaped at her wit a feral scream.
"Ah!" Mabel shouted in fright.
The rest of the Louds were in the kart with Lori driving, going as fast as possible to save their sister.
"Don't worry Mabel! We're gonna save you from that zombie!" Lincoln shouted, hearing her cry.
"Help!" they heard another cry.
"Punch it, Lori!" Dipper told his big sister.
"You got it." Lori replied intently, going faster.
The kart drove into the woods and stopped at a very odd scene; a bunch of little bearded men tying up their sister.
"The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody." Jeff told her. "Okay, just get he arm there Steve." he ordered.
"Let go of me!" Mabel demanded as she punched and kicked a few gnomes away. One gnome landed hard on his stomach and puked out rainbows as a result.
"BLAHHHHH"
"What the heck is going on here?!" Dipper asked, clearly not expecting this. He pictured there being more brain-eating and dismembered limbs.
"Aw, those little guys are so adorable." Leni gushed as she went to pet one but pulled back when it hissed at her.
"Dipper, Guys!" Mabel waved, getting their attention. "Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes!" she explained. "And they're total jerks!" she added, bonking one on the head which made him pull on her brown locks. "Hair! Hair! Hair!"
"Gnomes?" Lincoln questioned and turned to Dipper and Lucy. "Guess we were way off." he remarked.
"Sigh." Lucy lamented. "This may have been my one chance to see a zombie."
"Don't suppose that book of yours has something on them, huh bro?' Luna asked Dipper.
Dipper took out the journal and skimmed to the Gnome page. "Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls forest." he read. "Weaknesses: unknown."
"Oh come on!" Mabel shouted as the gnomes finished tying her up.
"Hey, you little goblins! Let go of our sister right now!" Lori demanded from Jeff giving him a clod hard glare along with the others.
"Oh uh, hey there." he greeted nervously. "Um, you know this is all really just a big misunderstanding." he tried to defend. "Your sister's not in danger; she's just marrying all 1,000 of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity." he informed thinking that actually justifies what he's doing. "Isn't that right honey?" he asked.
"You guys are butt-faces!" Mabel insulted, showing how not okay she was with that. Jason covered her mouth with his hand to keep her quiet.
"You're getting married, Mabel?!" Leni asked, excitedly. "I got dibs on bridesmaid!" she called causing all her siblings to groan.
"Give her back right now or else!" Lynn threatened holding the baseball bat while Dipper had the shovel.
"I'd listen if I were you." Dipper advised.
'You think you can stop us, children?" Jeff rhetorically asked, then he turned serious. "You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the-Ow!" he yelled as Lynn hit him with the bat, then Dipper scooped him up with the shovel and threw him aside. He then used it to cut the lines holding his twin hostage, thus freeing her much to her relief. She ran with her sibs back to the kart.
"They're getting away with our queen!" Jeff observed with anger. "No, no, no!"
"Seatbelts everyone." Lori advised. Once they did so, she dove away.
"You've messed with the wrong creatures, human!" Jeff scowled. "Gnomes of the forest; assemble!" he ordered. Soon various gnomes crawled out of all parts of the woods and gathered around Jeff, they then began to stack up, their form began to resemble a giant gnome that just kept getting bigger and bigger.
The Louds were making a hasty getaway from the woodland creatures.
"Hurry, before they come after us!" she told Lori.
"I wouldn't be worried." Lisa said calmly. "Given their short stature, specifically their fibula, it would be impossible for them to-" she was cut off by a loud rumble behind them making Lori stop the kart, looking back they stared wide-eyed at the giant monster gnome march to them.
"Dang." Mabel, Luna, and Lana breathed.
Jeff was barking orders on top. "Alright, teamwork guys! Like we practiced!" the gargantuan gnome let out a beastly roar and raised its left arm.
"Drive, drive!" Lola fearfully squeaked, making Lori drive again, barely avoiding he big appendage.
"Come back with our queen!" Jeff demanded as he and his brethren gave chase.
"It's getting closer!" Mabel fearfully said, at this point the events of the beginning already took place so there's really no point.
The gnome beast fired four little ones at the kart, one was trying to ambush them from the side, but Luna elbowed one of them off. The second one; which was Schmebulock went behind Lori, but she took him and banged him on the wheel multiple times.
"Schmebulock." he painfully said before Lori threw him away.
One landed on the hood, startling the kids and it leaped onto Dipper's face and scratched him.
"Ah!" Dipper shrieked in fear and pain.
"We'll save you, big brother!" Lana motioned to herself, Mabel, and Lynn. They gave a series of punches that hurt the gnome but they also hurt Dipper as well, evident by his grunts. One last punch knocked the gnome away, along with Dipper's hat.
"Thanks, guys." he said, dazed from the punches.
"Don't mention it." Mabel responded.
"Anytime little bro." Lynn smiled.
The beast took a tree and chucked it over them, once it landed, it blocked their path.
"Look out Lori!" Mabel pointed.
The oldest sibling saw a small opening, and swerved the cart so they could enter it. Everyone screamed as they spun around and ultimately crashed near the shack. They all crawled out of the shock, painfully, they each had a few scratches on them.
"Nice driving Lori." Lola muttered sarcastically.
"I'm sorry, but are you the only one with a driver's license? No!" Lori snapped back.
The shadow of the gnome beast loomed over them, making them cower in fear.
"S-Stay back!" Lincoln told it, throwing the shovel but the beast smashed it to the ground before it could make contact.
"Ahh!" the kids held each other in fear.
"Uh, where's Grunkle Stan?" Dipper asked.
The old man in question was inside his home/tourist attraction, showing a few tourists another one of his face acts.
"Behold, the world's most distracting object!" he unveiled a handed held spinning swirly wheel that once turned on, spun hypnotically.
"Ooooh." the tourists marveled.
"Just try to look away, you can't." Stan claimed. The wheel was clearly affecting the people, not just them but Stan as well. "I can't even remember what i was talking about."
Back outside, the gnomes pushed the kids back against the wall.
"Its the end of the line kids!" Jeff proclaimed. "Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!" he threatened.
"There's gotta be a way out of this." Dipper pondered. "Lisa, Lincoln, you guys got anything?" he asked.
"To scared to think." Lincoln replied nervously.
"My brain is still trying to process the existence of little woodland creatures." Lisa said.
Mabel thought of an idea, it was risky but it might just save her and her family.
"I gotta do it." she proclaimed, shocking her siblings.
"What?!" they simultaneously exclaimed.
"Mabel, you can't!" Lana objected.
"You'll have to stand in the front yard all day." Leni said.
"Hey, we happen to find that job very degrading!" Jeff scowled.
"Look guys, trust me." Mabel told them.
"Mabel, are you crazy?!" Dipper questioned.
"Dipper just this once. Trust me." she insisted.
Her twin brother had his doubts, but complied nonetheless, he backed up allowing her to go.
Mabel waked up to the gnomes. "Alright Jeff, I'll marry you." she told him.
"Hot dog!" Jeff responded happily. "Help me down there Jason." he said as he began to climb down. "Thanks Andy, right foot left foot there we go, hey watch the fingers there Mike." Once he made it to the bottom he also approached Mabel and holds the ring.
She in turn holds out her hand, allowing Jeff to slip the ring on her finger. "Badda bing badda bam!" he cheered. "Let's get you back to the forest honey." he said turning around.
"You may now kiss the bride." Mabel announced making him stop.
"Well, don't mind if I do." Jeff smiled slyly. He leaned for a kiss until Mabel pulled out the leaf blower that was nearby and turned it on in his face. "Ah! Hey, hey wait a minute!" he protested. "What's going on?!" He was sucked in halfway shocking his army.
"That's for lying to me!" she glared and put the blower in reverse. "THAT'S for breaking my heart!"
"Ow! My face!" Jeff yelled.
Sshe aimed him at the gnomes. "And THIS is for messing with my brothers and sisters!" she turned to them smiling, which they returned. "Wanna do the honors?"
"You know it dude!" Luna replied.
All the Loud siblings held the blower and were ready to fire.
"A 62 degree angle would be beneficial." Lisa informed.
"On three!" Dipper told them.
"One...Two...Three!" they shouted together as they fired Jeff straight through the stacked up gnomes, making them separate.
"Ah, I'll get you all back for this!" Jeff yelled ass he disappeared from view.
The remaining gnomes were left without a leader, thus they didn't know what to do.
"Who's giving orders?! I need orders!" one panicked.
"My arms are tired." another groaned. Soon, they were blown away by the leaf blower.
"Anybody else want some?" Lincoln dared with a triumphant smirk.
"Let this be a lesson." Lynn told them. "Don't mess with the Louds!"
One of the fleeing gnomes got caught in package holder and was picked by the goat and ran away with him.
As the kids tiredly made their way tot he shack, Mabel stopped them.
"Hey Dipper, Lincoln, guys, I um...I'm sorry for ignoring your advice." she apologized with a guilty frown. "You all really were just looking out for me."
"Don't sweat it Mabes." Luan told her. "We're family; it's what we do."
"Besides, you saved our butts back there." Lincoln added, grateful.
"Guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes." Mabel said with a sad frown.
"First relationships never really work out." Lori said with a comforting smile. "You ever need tips, come see me."
"And who knows, maybe the next one will be a vampire." Dipper said.
"Oh, you're just saying that" Mabel laughed playfully.
"Dare to dream." Lucy added.
"Awkward sibling group hug?" Dipper offered, holding his arms out along with the others.
"Awkward sibling group hug.' she replied, holding her arms out as well, allowing them all to share an affectionate group hug followed by..."Pat, pat."
With that done, they went in the Shack where their great uncle was counting money and cringed as he saw how messed up they looked.
"Yeesh, you guys got hit by a bus or something?" he asked before laughing. "Ha!"
His niblings glared at him in response and went to go to their room.
Stan looked a little guilty and though of something. "Uh hey." he called making them turn around. "Wouldn't you know it? I accidentally overlooked some inventory so uh how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop?" he offered. "On the house."
"Really." Leni asked, surprised.
"What's the catch?" Lincoln crossed his arms skeptically.
"The catch is do it before I change my mind, so take something.' he grumbled as he out the cash in the register.
Each of the Loud kid picked out one item. Lori got a new phone case with the word Mystery Shack, Leni got herself a mirror, Luna got a brown guitar case, Luan picked a wooden puppet, Lynn got a new baseball bat, Dipper got a new hat with a pine tree on it to replace his old one, Lincoln got a swiss army knife, Lucy picked a grey book with a bat symbol, Lola got a new tiara, Lana got a tool kit, Lisa got a microscope for outside, and Lilly got a stuffed animal that looked like a cross between a gremlin and a goblin.
"And I will have a..." Mabel took an object from the box and held it high. "Grappling hook! Yes."
Her family looked at her oddly, wondering why she would need one and why something like that was even in a gift shop.
"Wouldn't you rather have like a doll, or something?" Stan questioned.
Mabel fires it at the ceiling, catches it ans pulls her up. "GRAPPLING HOOK!"
"Fair enough."
"Wow, looks like you're really hooked onto that thing Mabel. Ha ha." Luna quipped, making everyone groan. "Get it?"
Once it was nighttime, the kids were in their shared bedroom getting ready to go to sleep. Mabel and Lana were jumping on the bed, while Dipper was writing in the journal.
"This journal told me there was nobody in Gravity Falls you can trust." he wrote. "But when you battle 100 gnomes side bys ide with a group..." he looked to his family and saw Mabel use her new grappling hook to get a stuffed tiger.
"Nice." Luna complimented, fist bumping her.
"You realize that they pretty much always have your back.."
"Hey, can someone hit the light?" Dipper asked.
"I'm on it." Mabel responded and fired her hook at the lantern making it crash through the window.
"It worked!" she cheered. Everyone laughed at this. "Grappling hook." she chuckled.
"Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked."
As everyone went to sleep, downstairs Stan had just entered and went to the vending machine. He put in a strange code and unexpectedly, the machine slid back, revealing a hidden entrance with stairs. He went in and looked back to make sure no one was around with narrowed eyes. The old man closed the entrance and no one had a clue.
End Credit
The gnome from before puked again, only this time it went on way longer.
"Blaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" he groaned.
Leni was nearby and cringed in disgust. "Grody."