Tune: Guy Love, from Scrubs episode My Musical, season 6.
Sirius and Remus have a message for the shippers.
Sirius:ยด
Let's face the facts about me and you
A friendship undenied
'Though I insist we are only mates
The fangirls keep on their debates
Remus:
No matter just what I say or do
Prove them wrong many years I've tried
'Cause this mate was made not to seem straight
To those girls who have robbed me my pride
Both:
They all think it's guy love, that's what they see
Guy love, with him and me
There's something gay about us in their eyes
Remus:
They write about this thing we share
Sirius:
And our closeness has a price
Remus:
It's guy love
Both:
Between two guys
Remus:
We're closer than the average ass to a thigh
Sirius:
We never want a snogfest beneath a marquee
Remus:
You know I'll stand by you 'til the day that I die
Sirius:
You're the only man who's ever been inside of me
Remus (spoken):
Funny story, I was half an inch tall and trapped within a chocolate frog
Sirius:
There's a need to clarify
Remus:
Oh yes
Sirius:
'Cause he was never my lover slave
I'd never sniff someone's rear end
Remus:
Let alone go explore his "cave"
Both:
Let's go
No guy love
Don't scandalize
The bond between two hetero guys
We're very into sport, and never cry
Sirius:
I'll be there to share your every day
Remus:
I'll be far away at nights
Uh!
Both:
No guy love
Between two guys
Sirius:
And when I say 'Yo wotcher, Moon?'
There is nothing it implies
Both:
No guy love
Between two guys
Hug.
(A/N: I'm thinking of writing a parody of the whole episode, so if you haven't seen it, chop chop!!)