WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH
By Madziuda
Disclaimer: Nothing
Roswell related belongs to me.
Category:
M&M, future fic, kinda. The first part can be labelled as the deathfic, but
later it's just angst
Rating: Ummm.....Not sure, it's pretty mild so I'd say PG13 but since a
character death is mentioned I'll say R
Summary: When Michael and Maria found love they thought happiness was
finally theirs but years later one of them learns that sometimes even love is
not enough
Feedback: That's like my first Roswell fan fic ever, so I need all the
constructive criticism possible. But please no flames
Author's note:I'll
understand if you hate this story. Even I'm not sure I like it. This part is
sad and depressing - it was born from one bad day and the fact that my faith in
love that can conquer everything is slowly dying
If you think it's worth it drop me a note, and tell
what do you think about it. If you think I should not continue this story, let
me know
They say love is the
greatest power of all.
They say it can move
the mountains and cause miracles to happen.
They say love is all…
I say they're wrong.
'Cause no matter what
all the fairytales say, at the end of the day truth remains the same.
Sometimes love is not
enough
*********************************
One, two, three,
four, five, six. Six tears. The whole ocean of them
Enough to drown,
enough to leave this world and join her.
Enough. That's got to
be enough.
But then again, it's
not. It will never be. 'Cause if the love I had for her wasn't then how can
those salty drops running down my face be?
No, if love is not
enough – nothing in the whole universe is.
Nothing. Nothing.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing
*********************************
I open my eyes.
Having them closed won't stop the tears from flowing. Nothing will.
I look around and
notice that I'm not alone anymore.
I should have known
they'll come here as well. After all I wasn't the only one who loved her more
than life itself. But how did they know? Did they hear my cries? Did someone
tell them. Or was it love that called them here. To her.
My eyes wander around
for a while before resting on the man who holds her lifeless hand. The only man
in the whole wide world who had the power to heal her when my words and actions
were hurting her. The one whose love lifted her from the ground and helped her
to her feet. The one who could always bring the smile back to her face. The man
whose love for her, although different, was almost as great as mine.
Next to him stands a
women who owes it to her, that the ice surrounding her heart melted and warmed
up enough for her to accept the love from this earth. She's not an ice princess
anymore – her tears are hot. But not hot enough to bring warmth to the cold
body lying on the bed in front of her.
I look to the left and see two people
clinging one to another. Two people who lost the golden sparkle that guided
them to themselves when they were lost and alone. Her two "girlfriends".
There's one more person
in the room. A man who lost the last
member of his family. A sister who supported him and always kept him on his
toes. A light in his life. Without her his eyes weren't blue anymore……Without
her there were no colors left…….
*********************************
I can't stand it
anymore. I get up and leave the white room, I leave the hospital, I leave the
town. They don't follow me, they understand. They always have.
They know she's not
there anymore. It's only her body that's lying on the hospital bed. Her soul,
her essence has gone away. Away from me.
I sink to my knees
and grab handfuls of sand – to feel something, anything. To make sure the world
still exists without her here.
It does.
How can it? How?
I yell, letting the
wind blowing over the desert, carry my words to her
" Why did you lie,
Maria DeLuca???!!!!!!"
"Why did you say our
love was enough to keep us both alive?"
"It's not" – I sob –
"it's not"
*********************************
I'm not sure how many
hours passed. It's dark and cold in the desert but I don't care. I don't care
about anything right now.
All I want is to die.
But death won't come to me - my life simply doesn't work that way- I
should have learnt it by now.
But no. Nothing gets through that thick skull
of Michael Guerin. Nothing at all…
I choke back another sob as I realize that
that's exactly what Maria would say right now.
That's what she always said about me.
I close my eyes again, knowing that now it is
the only way to see her alive.
I need to see her. Not her eyes, not her hair,
not her body – it's nothing but an empty shell now.
I need to see her soul, her life, her vibrancy
I need to see my Maria in all her
sparklingness.
And I'll see her. I will.
I just don't know how to do it yet
********************************
Suicide.
Yeah, I thought about it – if death doesn't
want to come to me, then maybe I should come to her.
Yeah.
Maybe.
No.
I'm not stupid enough to think that suicides go
to the same place as those who gave their life for greater good.
They don't.
Do they?
And even if they do, I don't believe the God
would let me be with her there. Why would He? If He didn't let me be with her
here, why would He change His mind now?
I'm not enough... Have never been... Not even
with the love I learnt from this earthbound angel…
No…if my love was not enough to heal her, to
keep her among those who loved her more than life itself, than it won't be
enough to persuade the Man up there to let me spend the eternity with her.
********************************
Memories.
It hit me just like that.
Memories – they'll let me see her.
Memories. I've always hated them, always
thought they're useless. But now I realize how wrong I was, how precious they
are, how much I need them.
And I smile, silently thanking the God above
for the gift of inhuman memory…
And I remember....
**************************************
A man and a woman.
Correction.
A woman and an alien.
A couple – that's what we were back then.
More than that, actually.
Husband and wife
Michael and Maria Guerin.
That's who we were
Who I thought we'll always be
Turns out I was wrong.
**************************************
None of us had a happy family life – we weren't
even sure if something like that exists in reality, but we were determined to
create something at least a little bit better than what our parents had.
I promised to never leave her and she promised
to be my home forever.
We trusted each other and never asked for more. Those two vows were enough for us to
believe in the existence of a brighter future in Roswell, New Mexico.
It wasn't easy but we worked hard and in two
years time we became the proud owners of a little blue house in the suburbs
of Roswell. It wasn't the most
beautiful thing in the whole world but with Maria's ideas and my artistic
nature we managed to turn it into our own cozy oasis.
Into the house of Maria and Michael Guerin.
Our house.
Our home.
Our love
**************************************
We did well.
No one thought we'll make it that far. I've
actually heard people making bets on which one of us will walk away first and
when it will be.
They thought we were weak like that.
To Roswell's community Hurricane DeLuca and
Juvenile Delinquent Guerin did not stand a chance together.
To them we were lost cases
To each other we were everything.
Maria was my love my life my world. She was a
star which shone just for me and gave me what no other star could – a place on
Earth. A place where I was loved.
To Maria I was a rock to lean on, a shoulder to
cry on and a stupid dorkbutt with whom she could do all the crazy things she
wanted. To her I was a man who could turn night into day.
Together we were strong.
Without each other we were lost and alone.
Without each other we didn't exist.
**************************************
But nothing lasts forever.
The end came unexpected
The end started on the happiest day of our lives.
So? Questions? Comments?
Only one more part till you'll actually hear
Maria
And to end my post nicely a big thank you to
all who read it and didn't hate it
