In the aftermath of the events at Wexler, Cassandra had gone back to tie up loose ends with Lucy. An oddly upset Jones had also stayed behind to bury the pieces of his pet gargoyle. Jenkins was giving off a very weird vibe after Baird and Stone had filled him in about what Cassandra had told them about her experiences with the Lake Foundation, so the duo had decided to go out for a drink and give him space.
Baird seemed to be more interested in peeling the label off of her beer bottle than actually drinking it, so Stone finally had enough.
"Somethin' wrong?"
Baird sighed, looking up at him. "I know my role. I do. And I understand why she asked me to do it. But God, sometimes . . . ."
"What and who?" Stone asked though he had a bad feeling.
"Cassandra," Baird sighed again. "She asked me to throw the accelerator into the rift . . ."
Baird was continuing her explanation of what Cassandra had asked of her but blood was rushing to Stone's ears. He felt like he was going to throw up. If he hadn't been a master of hiding behind a costume, he knew he probably would have gone pale if not actually been sick in front of Baird. But a defensive wall went up and he was pretty sure the Guardian had no idea what he was going through internally. He wasn't sure what the hell that was either.
Luckily he was able to say something neutral and comforting to Baird and she wasn't really good company and so they left after just the one drink.
He paced the floor of his apartment when he got home. He had always known Cassandra was dying. It had been less than an hour after they'd met that Flynn had told everyone about her tumor. Why would this sacrifice that hadn't happened make him feel this way?
His stomach had done a sick flip flop in Oklahoma when she'd admitted she'd chosen a day when she would die. But it hadn't been like this. He knew her well enough to know that that day would come when all other hope had failed and that it wouldn't be soon. His apology had been more about her having to share something so intimate with them at the worst possible moment.
Cassandra was desperate to live, she wouldn't have done what she did with the Serpent Brotherhood if she wasn't.
So he didn't worry about her day to die.
Jenkins liked to remind them about the short life expectancy of Librarians. To save the world, one of them might have to make the ultimate sacrifice. Stone certainly understood why Cassandra would have wanted the rift closed. She'd probably guessed rightly that none of them save Baird could have actually gone through with it. Even Jones wouldn't have been able to do it.
And himself? He was pretty sure he would have gotten himself killed trying to save her.
Mabel had died in his arms and that had hurt. But that had been sadness for their failure, her wasted life and what could have been. Cassandra's death would . . . .
Destroy him. Because Mabel had been a what if, a mere possibility, a girl he liked. Cassandra . . . .
He loved her.
He'd known that for a long time if he was honest with himself. He knew that after Paris when he'd done more than look at Mabel's sights. When he'd spent a day searching his own soul and starting to sort out complicated feelings.
But they weren't complicated any more. He loved her. And that was the purest, simplest feeling he'd ever had.
But the complicated part was telling her. They'd been close since the team had come back together and she'd been open to his attempts at flirting. But he wasn't sure if she was just being her sweet self or she returned his feelings.
He sighed looking at the clock. It was going to be a long night.
Cassandra returned from Wexler with a spring in her step and a new air of determination about her. She understood Jenkins' concerns but she also could see that he understood her viewpoint. The most important thing about today was the lesson she'd learned at the college.
She had spent so much of her life on the sidelines, letting her path be determined by others or by fate itself. No more. She did have life left to live and she was firmly in control of what she did with the rest of it.
The question was though, what did she want to do with this life now that she was in charge of it?
She had spent so much time being invisible. But she wasn't any more. She was a Librarian and her opinions were respected by her co-workers. Flynn had graduated them before Peru but today she felt like the three of them had finally walked across the stage. And she'd been their leader.
She'd never been a leader before. She wasn't sure she would like to take point on a regular basis, Stone was much better suited for that, but she did like the respect she'd received. Now, at least she and Stone had proved they could alternate leadership . . . . Ezekiel, well, maybe someday but he preferred to do his own thing.
Her thoughts lingered on Stone and the feeling she'd had this afternoon when he'd backed her up without hesitation. They'd never actually had the trust conversation again, but she knew he trusted her now. He'd given her his trust as far back as Collins Falls even though it had cost him Mabel. Stone never talked about the woman, but Cassandra knew she'd been something to him, even if it was only a possibility. They'd never had a chance to be anything more.
But Collins Falls had changed something between her and Stone. She'd never felt quite the way she had when Jacob had started flirting with Mabel in front of her. She'd tried to explain it away. She'd been impatient to get to the bottom of the case, she'd not been happy with him dragging an outsider into their operation, on and on. But the truth was that the sudden rage she'd felt had not been related in any way to the mission and had been completely about how she felt about Jacob Stone.
Maybe she'd projected too much onto him. When she was still invisible, he'd seen her. He always had. His voice was her anchor. And he provided the function even when he'd been so hurt by her actions. She'd made up feelings for him because no one had ever treated her like he did.
But then things changed when he'd come back from wherever he'd gone after Collins Falls. He treated her differently. He'd always been kind to her, even when he was angry, but after that, he seemed caring, almost tender. And then in New York, the flirting had started. She'd enjoyed it and he'd seemed delighted when she'd attempted flirting of her own. He'd smile at her, in a way that made her stomach explode into a mass of butterflies.
Flirting aside, her relationship with him was different than it was with everyone else. Ezekiel was like her annoying little brother. Jenkins was in turns caring father figure and stern uncle. Flynn could be mentor or slightly strange older brother. Baird was a mother hen. She took her job as Guardian very, very seriously and sometimes her protectiveness was a bit stifling. The stifling was eased by the fact that Baird didn't single her out for protectiveness, she was just as bad about Jones and Stone and worse about Flynn.
But Jacob?
Once he'd described their relationship with Baird as a partnership. She wasn't sure if that was quite the case yet with Baird. But unlike all of the others, she and Jacob were partners. That had been a cause of strife with Ezekiel in Peru. She'd admit in the privacy of her own apartment that she had taken Stone's side most of the time. But that was because she and Stone were a true team.
He began where she left off and vice versa. She learned that today. He truly had her back, he was her partner.
He completed her. And she'd fallen in love with him because of that.
It wasn't a crush. She'd admitted she'd had a bit of one on him at first because he'd seen her when others had not. But it had faded when she'd thought she'd ruined her chances with him. These feelings she'd had were genuine and they'd not happened over night. They'd grown as she'd come to know him and as he'd opened up to her. As they'd moved from co-workers at odds to friends to partners.
Now she knew what she wanted. She wanted him.
But Cassandra could be practical. It was late and she wasn't ready to rush over to him and declare her feelings.
No, this was best done in the morning. Baird always insisted on a day off after a case. So she'd sleep on this tonight.
Stone hadn't had the long night he thought he'd have. He'd been just exhausted enough that he'd fallen asleep fairly quickly. But his particularly nice dream about Cassandra had only increased his desire to tell her how he felt. It was their customary day off after a case, so he figured he'd call her later in the morning and ask her to come over.
Which is why it was a surprise when halfway through his morning coffee, his buzzer sounded.
Cassandra was standing outside the door and he was quite sure that his face lit up because it mirrored in her smile. She was smiling, so he hoped that meant she hadn't come on Library business. But you never knew and Cassandra had had a tough day yesterday, so he prepared himself for anything.
"Hey," he said, letting her in. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, it's nothing to do with work. I . . .wanted to talk to you."
"Oh," Jacob's expression relaxed and he ushered her into the living room. He motioned to the sofa but she stayed standing. "What's up?"
"Um . . . ." Cassandra stood there staring at him for a moment, wringing her hands. Then she closed her eyes.
She was scaring him now. He moved closer to her, "Cassie?"
"I'm okay, I just am looking for the words." She opened her eyes. "Yesterday was tough."
He nodded. "I wondered if you wanted to talk about that. I was so proud of you, you know," he looked down briefly, shuffling his feet. "Scared to death but proud."
"Scared?" There was something in her tone that sounded like . . .it sounded like hope. It caused him to lift his head and their eyes met.
He took a deep breath and leaped. "You walked into a rift! I had your back, you know that, I . . .always will. But you could have . . .and I . . . ."
Suddenly, the distance between them vanished as she ran into his waiting arms. It wasn't like the hug before the second sun, this time he wasn't shocked or stiff. Instead they melted into each other, like they'd been doing this forever. He held her tightly and he could tell she was breathing him in like he was her. After a few moments, she leaned back, just far enough to see his face.
"Jacob, I know we talked about what happened with the Lake and everything. But Jenkins and I talked after you all went home. He's worried about me."
"Yeah, he seemed . . .well concerned I guess you could say after Baird and I filled him in on what you said."
She nodded. "But the one thing that happened yesterday was that I made a decision. Not a decision that was made for me by my parents or my tumor or circumstance. I made the decision to stay for myself. I've lived most of my life in fear, fear of so many different things. But I'm not afraid any more. I don't know how much life I have left, but I want to live it. And I . . . ."
Cassandra's speech was cut off by Jacob's lips on hers. She was pretty certain that she'd been inviting the kiss with her eyes because it wasn't the surprise that it should have been. She eagerly returned his kiss, both of them pouring out relief and happiness into the kiss.
Then he pulled back, "please tell me you were gonna say that you want to live it with me . . . because otherwise I look like an ass for assuming that."
She giggled. "I was. I'm guessing the feelings mutual huh?"
He pressed their foreheads together briefly and kissed her softly. "Yes, last night I did some thinkin' of my own and I was tryin' to figure out how to tell ya this. You know . . .you know how afraid I was. But I ain't afraid anymore. And I . . . ." He took another deep breath, cradling her chin in his hand, making sure their eyes met. "I love you, Cassandra. I can't let another day go without tellin' you that."
She smiled, tears in her eyes, and nodded. "I love you too, Jacob." He dropped his hand from her chin, but only so he could pull her closer, wrapping his arms around her as she buried her face in his neck.
They held each other for a few moments, letting the emotions wash over them and then they were kissing again. They weren't frenzied passionate kisses, more like joyful, happy kisses cementing their declarations and opening this new chapter between them. If Cassandra were able to describe the feelings behind the kisses, she'd probably have described it like drinking champagne, giddiness and little bubbles of happiness bursting over them.
Jacob was certainly feeling this giddiness, he almost felt drunk, but in the best possible way. Which is probably why he said what he did next. But the moment the words left his mouth, he knew that he meant them.
They'd drawn back for a breath and he'd just been staring at her lovingly. Then something had happened, he was certain that his mouth moved before his mind caught up.
"Marry me."
His eyes widened from the shock of what he'd just said as Cassandra's mouth fell open. She backed up a step even as he reached for her.
"Cassandra . . . I didn't . . . ." Then he shook his head. He had meant it. "No, actually I did. I meant that."
"What?" Cassandra was only able to get the one word out as she stared at him.
"I did. Marry me. What's dating gonna accomplish? We have been through so damn much. So much. You know me better than anyone ever has. And I probably know you better than you've let anyone know you."
"True . . . ." Cassandra seemed only capable of speaking one word at a time.
But Jacob seemed to be unable to stop talking. "I love you. And I know I want to marry you. But you know maybe, okay, yeah blurting it out like that was possibly not the best idea. But there ain't no need to date. Let's just spend the rest of our lives together. "
Cassandra continued to stare at him and he continued to ramble on. "Look, okay, I blindsided ya with this. You probably want to think about this. That's fine. You know take tonight or tomorrow or a week or hell a month if you need to."
Cassandra finally found her voice. "No."
Jacob looked crestfallen. "Of course. I mean I shouldn't have assumed. I never asked you how you felt about marriage at all. I mean we could date that's fine. I just . . . ."
"Jacob," Cassandra stepped forward, her hand on his cheek. "Stop talking okay? Listen."
"Right, I'm sorry."
"I said no because I don't need to think about it. I will marry you."
"What?"
Cassandra laughed. "Oh, let's not do this again. Let's do it! Let's get married! Tomorrow if we can swing it."
He laughed too, twirling her around in his arms. "Okay, where?"
"Anywhere but Vegas."
"Yeah," he scrunched up his face. "Not really our style."
He let her go for a minute to grab his laptop and set it up on the coffee table. When Cassandra sat next to him, he pulled her onto his lap. Now that he could touch her, he seemed to not be able to stop himself. And she didn't mind at all. He couldn't quite believe they were doing this, but it seemed natural.
Oregon was ruled out pretty much right away, especially since they found out there was a three day waiting period.
"Florida?" Cassandra said after some searching. "There's no waiting period for non-residents. And . . ."she trailed her hand down the screen. "St. Augustine might be an idea, historic and romantic."
Jacob nodded, changing their search. "Look at that," he pulled up a listing for a bed and breakfast. "They have a package that doesn't involve a stay, with a quick ceremony in their courtyard. If we work things just right, we can get married tomorrow. Let me call and see if they have an opening."
Fate was working in their favor as there was an opening the next afternoon. The ceremony would be in the courtyard, weather permitting, if not then inside in the parlor. Jacob quickly reserved it.
He turned to her with a smile. "Now what?"
She beamed. "We have so much to do! We could take the Door into a Courthouse and get our license. We need to go shopping, I need a dress and we need rings and . . . ."
Stone bit his lip. "About rings. You realize we can't wear them right?"
"Why?"
"We aren't gonna . . . Cassandra, we can't tell anyone about our marriage."
Cassandra blinked, her face confused and downcast. "You asked me. Why would we hide that? I thought you were done with all of the lies."
"Darlin', it's not that," he grabbed her hands. "If things were different I'd be proud to tell everyone. But you know how dangerous our jobs are. What if Prospero or Moriarity or another bad guy decides to use our relationship as leverage? "
Cassandra slowly nodded. "I guess that's valid. But we could tell . . ." she trailed off. "They wouldn't understand, would they?"
He shook his head. "Baird would give us her best 'mom' lecture. We ain't been together a day and we show up married? They wouldn't understand."
"And Jones would never let up. I hate this."
"Sweetheart . . . ." Stone said softly. "I can call and cancel. We'll wait. I don't want you to regret this."
Cassandra was silent for a moment, looking at him, then she shook her head. "I want to do this. No regrets. I want to be your wife. We'll tell them someday."
He nodded, squeezing her hands. "I promise, we will. When the time is right, we'll tell them."
"It is sort of a really romantic secret," she mused. "I kinda like it."
"We can still get rings if you want. We'll wear them when we're alone. Or something. We'll work it out."
"Alright," Cassandra squeezed his hand back. "Let's go get some breakfast and go shopping, okay? We have things to talk about, like where we're gonna live and stuff like that. And we might as well do that and get stuff done too. And we have to figure out how to sneak in to use the Door."
Jacob shrugged. "These days, it seems like that Door is always in use, no one will even notice."
"Yeah," she beamed at him, letting the excitement and romance get to her. She leaned over and kissed him soundly. "Let's go! We have one day to enjoy being engaged and I wanna make the most of it."
He laughed and let her pull him off the sofa.
Author's Note: I completely forgot to cross post this story here. Chapter 2 will go up tomorrow and then will be updated the following week (and hopefully once a week!)