My first ever fanfiction. Written on a challenge from a friend who said Remus and Snape could never be a couple. It's written a bit odd, since I made it encompass several years without multiple chapters. But I am alright with what it came out as.
Rated T for swearing. Cheese ahead! Songs to listen to while reading(not plot relevant, just nice):The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades is Out To Get Us by Sufjan Stevens, A Million Years by Alexander, and Cosmic Love by Florence and The Machine.
Remus P.O.V (the whole fic)
The sun beat down on my face making it feel sticky and uncomfortable. I rolled over and burrowed my head under the pillows, pleading with the sun to just let me sleep for a while longer. However, it wasn't the sun I needed to worry about. James Potter, the obnoxious bastard he is, decided that since he was up and getting packed everyone else should be too. He whipped the covers off of my bed yelling about lazy werewolves who needed to help him find his pants. My hope of a last sleep in at Hogwarts ,before summer, was gone.
It was the last day of fourth year. Our Exams were done, passed with flying colors in my case and with, uh, colors in the case of Peter, James, and Sirius. Now it was time to go home for the summer. I was… less than excited. My mother had moved us from our old house, my childhood home, to a new one in Spinners End while I was at school that year. After being away for several months I wasn't looking forward to having to go home to an awkward new house and take most of my break getting used to it.
I just didn't like changes. I had three close friends since first year and planned to keep it that way, I followed almost exactly the same routine every day at school, and I kept everything I owned in a carefully organized system. I didn't want anything new in my life. Change was something I had to go through quite painfully every single month and I really didn't need more of it. Nonetheless I was going to go to this new house and make the best of things. So I steeled myself and then put the issue out of my mind, determined to have a good last day of Fourth Year with The Marauders.
…
Spinners End was a muggle neighborhood, with large and rather gloomy houses, sporadically placed between overgrown trees and shrubbery. We had a neighborhood park where muggle children regularly screeched and played and our neighbors all avoided each other. It was an ideal house for my mother, an artist who needed room and the inspiration the depressing place seemed to provide, as well as a widow who needed a house drastically different from the sunny cottage we used to own. It was also ideal for a teenage werewolf who needed neighbors who wouldn't question sounds at night once a month and my week long recuperation periods after every full moon. It fit our meager needs, but it wasn't a home to me. This manor had rooms upon rooms and nooks and crannies everywhere. Here we could go a full day in the house together but never once cross paths. It was lonely.
That first night I didn't sleep. After hours of oblivion just beyond my reach, I gave up hope and rolled out of bed. I maneuvered my reading chair over to the window, making a racket that would have woken mom in the old house, but she was so far away here I doubt she rolled over in her sleep. I proceeded to sit and gaze at the imperious neighborhood feeling like the dramatic poof that Sirius referred to me fondly as, while I tried to rationalize the weird little sad ache in the back of my throat. I eventually cried a little bit, admitting that I was upset that my mother uprooted me from my childhood home so unapologetically. The home my father died in, the home I received my Hogwarts acceptance letter in, and the home I first realized what Greyback had turned me into.
Post-dramatic breakdown, I felt better. I guess I felt closure with myself if you can even have that. I was optimistic and worn out after emptying my body of tears and self-pity. I started reluctantly noticing the nice things about Spinners End and our new house. The neighborhood really was perfect for my family of two, the house made my mother happy, and the view from my room really was spectacular. I was surprised my mother with her artist's eye had given me the room with the best view. I could see down from our elevated house onto the houses below us. They were oddly calming to look at, imagining every family inside every house had their own trials and tribulations, I wasn't really alone. The homes were nothing more than shaded in outlines completely black, except for one window in the smallest house. The light was on, glowing dim and yellow, and I glimpsed a little person within, just sitting like I was. I watched that window all night, even when the person left and the light went out.
…..
Three weeks later I was in the library, (I had taken to spending all day there working my way through book after book. The only thing keeping me from sleeping there was that every night I could see the window in the littlest house from my bedroom , the light was always on and it oddly was one of the few things that could help me sleep in the new house. ) when my paint splattered mother burst in looking determined and stated, "You outside now". I was understandably confused and asked," What?" My mother glared and said," You haven't gone outside since you came home. You've been sitting in your own filth just lounging about and it's disgusting. Children need to go outside and breathe fresh air every once in a while." I started to protest but she cut me off with her 'I am mum hear me roar' voice, "I am giving a direct order for you to bathe your stinky self and get outside. Ride your bike or at least take the book outdoors, do something! And don't you dare pull the 'I'm worn out from my last transformation' card because I know full well it was over a week ago and you are fine. You have an hour to get out there before I throw your scrawny ass out and bolt the door."With that my ever so eloquent mother threw a towel at me and left me to do as she said.
Two hours later I was on my bicycle riding around the neighborhood, a finished book in my basket, in complete denial about how ridiculously and utterly lost I was. I had passed that bunch of yellow flowers on the way to the tree I had read by, hadn't I? and that, um crack in the street looked familiar. In my confused and increasingly panicked state I had stopped looking where I was biking and I promptly crashed the old green rickety thing into something or, shit. Someone. I scrambled up from the ground and ran over to where the person had fallen. "Bloody hell, are you alright? I didn't see you, I'm so sorry! See, I just moved here and my idiot mum sent me out for 'air' or something stupid and I got lost so I was freaking out and wondering if I could- I'm rambling shit. Are you okay?" I pelted lightning fast at the crumpled body that was slowly rolling over, to reveal, "Snape?" I exclaimed and the same time he grunted, "Lupin?"
We just looked at each other for about a full minute until we both heard a girlish screech of, "Sev! What happened?" and turned our heads to see Lily Evans (the apple of James's eye lately) running towards us. Snape took my hand that I had forgotten about offering to help himself off the floor, then released it like it carried the plauge and turned to the flustered girl drawling out, "Well, this complete idiot got lost, ran into me on his bicycle and then tried to tell me his life story while I lay on the ground astounded by his stupidity. That is what happened. I assure you I am fine Lily and it appears we unfortunately have a new neighbor."
Lily gave me a short glare while she checked Snape over for any damage done, then upon finding him unscathed, gave me a bright smile, vigorously shook my hand and said, "Welcome Remus! It'll be nice to have another wizard around. Won't it Sev?" here she elbowed the reluctant, and perhaps a bit pouty, teenager who grumbled out, "Yeah nice. We get to see the repulsive face of Potter's sidekick number two around our already repellant neighborhood. Bloody fantastic." Lily cuffed Snape on the head and reprimanded, "You are being petty Severus Snape. Like a child. We will befriend Remus and you will like it. Or at least deal with it or so help me.." Snape simply glared at the bike that started all of the trouble. While my impending friendship was being discussed I sat down on the sidewalk near my bike and dazedly watched the witch and wizard knowing that my first summer in Spinners End had just become an interesting one.
…
That summer was different from what I had thought it would be like. I came to love my new home, appreciating my privacy and watching the window in the little house every night. I spent the majority of my summer doing homework, writing and fire-calling James and Sirius and Peter, reading, going through a few transformations as always, and exploring the land around my home. However, I spent a bit of time with Lily and Snape, finding the two of them…well, likeable to my chagrin. Despite my reservations about making new friends and accepting changes, Lily became a fast friend and Snape became… an acquaintance. We could talk to each other, a few times he made me laugh and vice versa, but we still held on to petulant school rivalries and could only be remotely comfortable around one another when Lily was there leading the conversation and putting us at ease. Despite one fight over Snape suspecting me of trying to steal Lily, I quickly reassured him that I had no interest whatsoever in anything but friendship with the ginger, the summer passed between us absent of animosity and in its place friendship was tentatively budding.
Our odd arrangement continued throughout fifth year. With new hormones, new classes, new friends, and so much self discovery, several important things happened Fifth year. I got Head Boy, an accomplishment my mother was ridiculously happy about. Lily and Snape tried to date, which ended horribly and I- tactless Lupin- had to patch them up again. I came out of my shell, making quite a few friends, though none as close as Lily, Severus and the Marauders. The hatred between my two close groups of friends didn't vanish, but it lessened to the point where all that was left were half hearted insults no one really meant. James and Lily began snogging the living daylights out of each other, forcing me to become closer to Severus. I told the two of them about my, affliction, and they confessed to having figured it out beforehand and had refrained from saying anything because they didn't want to hurt me. My body began changing, ridding me of awkward limbs and I gained confidence in that area. And perhaps most dramatic, I tentatively revealed my sexual orientation "coming out" effectively to my close circle of friends, who were unfazed (in the case of Lily and Severus) amused (In the case of James) and determined to set me up with every gay boy in Hogwarts (In the case of peter and Sirius, who thought it was their duty to me to play Cupid.) All in all a full year at Hogwarts that left everyone different, changed and ready for summer.
….
A month after school was out, the summer before sixth year, Lily, Severus, and I were spending the night at Lily's house. Her parents had given consent and then left for the theatre in the next town over with Petunia (who hated us for some reason), saying they wouldn't be home until the early hours of the morning. Lily's house was as huge as my own, but it was filled to the brim with furniture, memorabilia, and knick knacks. Her home fascinated me. Everything seemed to have some sort of story behind it. I could be there for hours and never get bored of looking around.
That evening we were leaving to go to the carnival that had newly arrived in town. We didn't have express permission from her parents, but they didn't say we couldn't leave the house either. The three of us were being sneaky, but what is adolescence without mischief? We had been planning the excursion for a week, and were almost giddy with excitement, even Severus. Snape giddy was something that I once would have thought impossible, but he had surprised me in the past year. He was really a person. And right then he was a person as excited for a carnival as a small child. It was adorable.
We arrived in Lily's car (she was the first of us to have her own, being both the oldest and richest). We parked in the nearly full lot, eyes wide at the lavish display of bright lights, colors, and excessive fun in front of us. It was the first Carnival for Severus and myself and I will admit to jumping out of the car and doing an odd run/skip to the admission booth. After purchasing tickets and paying an entry fee we were on our way.
Lily had decided to give us the "full" experience as she called it. Leading us briskly to a bench and sitting us down she began lecturing, "Now listen to me. Remus and Severus, there are only two rules on this adventure. Rule one you cannot eat anything until you are finished with the rides, because I will not be having anyone upchuck in my presence. Rule two: we are going to ride everything. EVERYTHING. Underline that and bold it. I am one excited lady, so stick close to me and this will be the best night of your young lives. Until you get laid." And with that she winked at our astonished faces and pulled us to the first ride of the night.
We slowly worked our way through every spinning, accelerated, death machine that the carnival had to offer us. It was more fun than I could ever express. The feeling of being young with your favorite people, surrounded by flashes of light, color, and sound, it is perfection. My favorite ride was one called the Werewolf's Fury, and I made Severus ride it with me twice, and he held on tightly to my sleeve when we were thrust upside down. Lily ended up breaking her own Rule One and ate some funnel cake before getting on another ride and I had to hold her hair while she vomited into a trash bin.
Once we finished with the rides, leaving the Ferris Wheel for last, we went into the fun houses. "You look utterly ridiculous."Severus laughed at me while I posed in front of a mirror that distorted my body to make me look very very fat. "And you look gorgeous" I shot back, doing my best to wink devilishly before running on to the bumper car station that Lily was entering. He followed me, but refused to get into a car and play with us. After doing our best to cajole Sev, Lily and I gave up and plunked down into our own separate cars laughing the way that you do when nothing was funny, but you have to let out some of your joy.I fell in love with bumper cars. It was hilarious and crazy and I wanted to stay forever . I played several rounds while Sev and Lily got snacks and played a few games.
Eventually severus came over to where my car was stalled and said, "I know this game gives you more joy than a fat child with a candy bar, but Lily and I want to ride the Ferris wheel. So get out Remus." I did my best to pout through my chuckles and replied, "I'll get out after you play one round!" He gave me his best glare and, when it did nothing to faze my ecstasy, agreed, "Fine. But if I get hurt you are carrying me the whole night." Then he left me to give the carnie his ticket and I lost sight of him. Deciding to use the last little bit of energy in the car, I began reversing out of the corner I had managed to wedge into so that I would be ready to go when the next round began. However, I forgot to look behind me. I hit the gas turning the wheel quickly and heard a loud, "What the fuck!" and felt a heavy and solid body slam into my back. I had reversed into Severus."You stupid son of a bitch! That hurt! I'm wounded." He yelled at me while people around us stifled their giggles. I let him rant on for a while before pulling him into the small seat beside me and saying, "I'm sorry, Sev. I didn't mean to sweep you off of your feet, I'm just so damn attractive." I received the swat to the head I knew that remark would get me with a smile on my face and I winked again at the black haired boy crammed into the tiny car beside me. He grudgingly buckled in, but I knew he wasn't really hurt. We heard the loud ringing that signified the start of the round and I slammed my foot on the gas.
When we got out we were both a bit sore, rather nauseous, and highly amused. We proceeded to the Ferris wheel on top of which Lily freaked the fuck out and the two of us had to hold her tightly and reassure her that it was perfectly safe. At midnight we piled back into Lily's car and headed back to her home to sleep, filled with a warm content feeling, and the knowledge that we were invincible.
The rest of that summer was perfect, Picture perfect, teen summer movie perfection. But not the best summer of my life.
….
Sixth year we continued becoming ourselves slowly. It was a difficult year for me, full of the angst that plagues sixteen year olds. I nearly bit a student who was dared into the Forbidden Forest where Padfoot, Wormtail, and Prongs were with me sneaking around. So I confined myself to the Shrieking Shack every full moon. I had a disasterous relationship with a Ravenclaw seventh year. He was pushy and handsy, I'll leave it at that. But the falling out that we eventually had ended up with me being outed to the entire school. Not everyone took it well and I was the subject of many people's venomous comments. Severus and I had our first really terrible fight as friends, it was over something stupid, but I called him a death eater and he called me a filthy faggot. We didn't speak for nearly a month. In that time I realized that I missed him in more ways than a platonic friend would. Eventually we made up, the two of us were friends again, but I was more distant. I didn't want my bizarre crush to be discovered. So with a cornucopia of emotions, knowledge gained, and above all change, sixth year passed for my friends and I.
….
I was driving home from the cinema on a Tuesday night during the summer. Lily was gone on a holiday to France so Severus and I were without our middle man. I kept my eyes on the road while I thought about Severus and what had come to pass between us. We had tried a few times to hang out in the three weeks of summer that had already flown past, but we were both awkward and distant. The previous school year, our easy-going banter and friendly comfort had vanished due to my ridiculous crush that made me act strangely around him. He began to drift away from me too, I figured it was because he could sense my feelings for him. I could have kicked myself. My crush, despite the rift in my friendship with Sev, had swelled to something similar to unrequited love (though I would never admit that to myself) and our broken friendship pained me.
I thought about the movie I had just finished watching. Everything had turned out alright in the end. The guy had got the girl, lived happily ever after and all that. I wished life was like that. That I could just run into Sev somewhere, confess everything, and have him admit the same feelings then fall into my arms. But that wouldn't happen. If I confessed he'd just be freaked out and our broken friendship would become no friendship. I really missed him.
As my thoughts revolved around my idiotic romantic fantasies of Severus, my eyes drifted to floor of my car, just for a minute, to look for the mixed tape he had given me in fifth year. I spotted it on the floor by the passenger seat. Taking a quick glance at the road and seeing nothing but a biker quite a ways off, I ducked down and reached for the tape, swearing when I knocked it farther away. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was thinking that this was reasonably unsafe, despite the lack of cars on the road, but that voice was ignored in favor of melancholy thoughts of Severus Snape.
I grasped the tape and sat up quickly just in time to see the biker fall to the ground a few feet in front of my car and swerve my car manically to the right to avoid what could have been a fatal collision. I sat shaking for a few seconds while my brain tried to process what had just happened. Finally I jumped out of the car and ran over to where the biker I had nearly killed was still laying face down.
"Hey!" I yelled, running over to where he (I could tell it was a male) lay, "Are you alright!" I knelt beside him and heard him say, "Why do you always try to kill me?" before he rolled over. It was Severus. Shit. I began speaking at the speed of light, trying to clean him up and check for injuries while he tried to shove me off, "I'm an idiot a total idiot! I deserve to die! Bloody Hell shit shit shit! Are you okay? Are you hurt? Can you feel your legs? How did you fall? Why are you out here? I was just trying to reach this tape but it was on the floor and so I took my eyes off the road. That was so stupid. Who does that? Idiots. Like me. But I was thinking about yo- stuff and so I wasn't really paying attention and I can't believe I wou-"
Severus put his hand firmly over my mouth, effectively shutting me up. "Remus. Shut. Up. I'm fine. I was just biking to get out of the house. You didn't even hit me. I just hit a rock and lost control of my bike. You are a complete and utter idiot for taking your eyes off of the road and you could have killed me," here I tried to say sorry but his hand prevented anything but a mumble," but you didn't and I am fine. Okay?" He finished and took his hand off of my face leaving me wide eyed. I realized that this bizarre encounter was the longest conversation we had had in months without awkward pauses and uncomfortable shifting. Then I took in the scene. We were sitting in the middle of the road in front of my sideways car with one of his bike's wheels beside us. We were also sitting very very close together. My face flushed bright red and he looked at me puzzled before remembering where we were and pulling himself off of the ground.
He walked over to his bike and I watched him look at it as though willing it to fix itself before softly saying, "shit.", and looking at me before quickly shifting his gaze away. I Jumped up from my fixed position on the floor and grabbed his wheel and his crumpled bike and shoving them in the back seat of my car. Severus just looked at me confused and handsome. "Why are you stealing my bike?" He asked me a shadow of worry on his pale face. "I'm not stealing it, I'm giving you a ride Sev." I got in, turned the car on and pulled up to the curb where he was still standing. "Get in?" I asked through the open window. "Okay." He replied a smile appearing on his pale face.
We were driving for less than five minutes before I realized I had no idea where he lived. I had been a bit distracted by his, well, his attractiveness and Severus never liked to talk about home much. I pulled the car to the side of the road before clearing my throat rather awkwardly and saying, "Sev? I don't know where you live." The raven haired boy glanced at me through his shaggy hair and said, "look, I appreciate you giving me a ride even though you hate me. But really you can just let me out here and I'll walk home.", before reaching over to open his door. Astounded I did the only thing I could think of and locked the car doors. He turned and just stared at me baffled. I blushed deeply and whispered, "I don't hate you. Why would you even think that?"
Sev looked determinedly at his feet and said, "The way you've been acting around me these last months, it's pretty obvious you hate me for what I called you when we fought " I was astounded. "B-b-but I forgave you! I told you that! I could never ever hate you Severus. I-I thought you hated me, actually." Now it was him who looked totally perplexed, "What? Remus, I don't hate you. You're one of my best friends, you always will be. I just tried to leave you alone so you wouldn't have to be around someone you hated." I glared at him and spoke louder now," Severus look at me." He raised his eyes to mine, "I do not hate you. Not now, not ever. I lo-", I cut off quickly cursing myself averting my eyes and blushing furiously once more. He grabbed my chin gently and brought me back to face him. We were now too close for my thoughts to focus on anything but him. "What were you about to say Remus?" He spoke urgently looking into my eyes unflinchingly. "Nothing nothing at all I swear!" I mumbled. I tried to look away again but he jerked my head back. "Yes you were. Remus, I don't hate you either. You are my best friend, you can tell me anything. I have spent these last months in misery wondering why the hell you wouldn't talk to me, thinking you hated me and now you are going to tell me what you were about to say. Okay Remmy?" he asked me in a commanding voice that fit his serious face.
I returned my eyes to his and in my softest whisper I said, "I was going to say, I-I love you." Severus just looked at me stunned for half a second and then all of a sudden broke into the biggest smile I'd seen on his beautiful face for a full year. I smiled back, unsure of why he hadn't broken my nose yet, when he placed his other hand on my face and pulled me towards him. I only had time to think holy shit before Sev's mouth was on mine and my mind was incapable of thoughts other than severus good. It wasn't my first kiss by any means and it was full of noses and teeth bumping, but it was the best kiss I had ever had.
We broke apart, keeping our faces mere inches apart and Severus asked, "Did you eat popcorn?", effectively breaking the silence with my resulting laughter. "Yes, Sev. Yes I did." I replied before tackling him with a hug. "I missed you Severus Snape." I whispered into his ear. "I love you Remus Lupin" He whispered into mine, "Oh and I live two blocks away." I smiled into his neck not caring where he lived at all, because this hug was not over by any means. I pulled back just a little and rested my forehead against his before kissing him softly once more and saying, "I have a feeling this is going to be the best summer of my life."
And it was.
Told you it was cheesy and odd! If you made it this far I thank you from the bottom of my heart. If you can find the time to give me a review and tell me what you think it would make my day. XOXO-AccioStarkid