Read, Very Important.
Hey everyone! It's me! I'm sorry I haven't been updating the other story. It's because I'm having writers block and I need a beta!!! If anyone could suggest a good beta, or volunteer… it would be nice. This story will be updated whenever I can or whenever I have no ideas for my other story. Sorry you guys but by Saturday, you guys will have a new chapter up for Screams in the Dark. Now without further ado, I present my new story, Can You Say "Cliché"? In my story I'm going to talk about random clichés I read or wrote my self. I'm not trying to be mean, even my story is a cliché, must be at least 20 stories like mine if not more! If you read any clichés pr have any ideas for one, please PM me or leave a review! Thank you guys for reading this reeeeaaallly long AN.
Edward the Playa and Bella the Nerd
A classic cliché dating back to the beginning of time, where Bella is…well Bella, Edward is an asshole, Rose is a bitch/slut, Emmett is an idiot, Jasper is emo, and Alice is an energizer bunny on crack.
Bella's first day
Edward: I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my car, too sexy by far.
Bella: I'm a nerd. –sob- Life is so cruel! I need a schedule!
Edward: Even though it's the middle of the year, I need to change my schedule.
Bella: Oh hello lady behind the counter!
Lady Behind the counter: Hey Bella!
Bella: How do you know my name?!?!
Lady Behind the Counter: Lucky guess, anyway, here's your schedule.
Bella: Thank you! –turns towards door then trips- Oops!
Edward: -enters room in time to see her trip, and catches her- Gotcha!
Bella: Oooh! My eyes! I'm blind! He's too sexy for my eyes.
Edward: -drops Bella and digs in pocket for compact- My hair is still fine.
Bella: -leaves office while rubbing behind-
Edward: -still looking in mirror walks into door while attempting to leave-
Lady behind the counter: -shakes her head and wonders why she didn't become an accountant.
Bella's class before lunch
Alice: Hi! My name is Alice! Can I show you around school? Yes? Thank you!
Bella: -who didn't even say anything yet- Ummm, sure.
Alice: You will sit with me at lunch. Not a request, but an order! –threatens Bella with a sharpened pencil-
Bella: Ok. –shrinks back in fear of the pencil-
Alice: Yay! –jumps about three meters into the air-
At Lunch
Alice: -escorting Bella to the table, hissing at anyone who gets too close- Hi guys! This is Bella!
Jasper: Why! Why! –cries black tears and uses his plastic fork to cut is wrists-
Rosalie: -pulls condom from her pocket and attempts to sell it to Bella- 25? Ok, 15.
Emmett: -puts fingers to his head and begins to shake from the effort of thinking- Uhhhhhh, 17!
Edward: -too busy sucking face to notice any of this going on-
Alice: Come on, let's go get lunch! –drags Bella away from freak table-
Edward (from across cafeteria): Sorry Jessica but I only screw names A-H at lunch on Mondays, sorry!
Alice: Oh yeah, I forgot. –pulls out script, clears throat- That's my brother, and he's a real playa from the hood, Daddy-o. Better stay away from him. At least you aren't drooling after him.
Bella:- stands there in her own puddle of drool-
Time for Biology (oh my!)
Edward: -sucking face with random chick-
Bella: -sees Edward and wipes drool from face- Hey! Asshole! I'm right here!
Random Chick: Like, oh my gosh, did she like, call THE Edward Cullen, a like, ass, like, hole?!?!?!?
Edward: Your point is?
RC: See you in the back of your car, Edward –winks conspicuously and sneers at Bella-
Bella: She wasn't who you were sucking face with at lunch! –Gasp- You're a playa!
Edward: -smirks- If you want a turn all you have to do is ask. B is between A and H.
Bella: No shit Sherlock! It looks like you have at least ONE brain cell.
Edward: -still smirking- You look so sexy when you're pissed. It turns me on.
Bella: -Drags Edward into broom closet in the middle of the classroom.-
Mike: That sooooo did not happen.
Jessica: All the skinny girls have the luck.
One our later…
Edward: -sucking face with Jessica-
Bella: Oh my god Edward! Did our hour in the broom closet mean nothing?
Edward: Actually it was the best sex I've ever had; I'm just too scared to admit it.
Bella: -clearly shocked- Oh, well, What do we do now?
Edward: -takes Bella's hand and they skip off into the sunset-
Jessica: Shit. MIIIIIIIKKKKKEEEEEEEEYYYYY! There's a broom closet with our name on it!
Well folks, Thanks for reading this. If you read a cliché today or any other day and want me to put it up, then like I said above, pm or put it in a reveiw! SITD by Saturday. Love Y'all!