A Lot of Nonsense to Answer Stupid Questions

by Chihori Anigma

Do Not Enter If You Value Your Sanity. Of course you would be boring if you valued sanity, so come right in. I got some stupid questions on a book I'm supposed to be reading for school. I used the Hetalia characters to make the answers utter nonsense. They are a gold mine for those who know the value of nonsense, so, please, come in. NONSENSE CRACK!FIC CRACK CRACK CRACK!

This-Has-No-Title

I hate my English teacher. I am always thinking of ways to annoy her. (I have a pretty good reason to hate her too.)

I was doing a test. (Not English.) I got really bored so to concentrate my mind I wrote this:

Kiku hugged Japan but that doesn't make sense because he is Japan while Feliciano was screaming Pasta and Ludwig was trying to make the OHSHC train. Tamaki didn't want to and everybody agreed with him except Haruhi of course since s/he wanted to see Prussia and Matthew except she thought that Canada was Alfred F. Jones and that caused problems with Russia so everybody went to Naruto and Sakura gave them cherry blossoms and painted a picture for them/

I really did not have to write that, but I felt like it. Anyways that gave me an idea to answer all the questions on the book we are reading in English class (rant on 'The Chosen' at bottom) as nonsensically as possible using Hetalia. Below are the results.

And yes, I really am going to give it in to my teacher.

Chapter 11

1)The thing that prevented Danny and Reuven from having their long talks was Charlie the Flying Mint Unicorn who was pooping treasure instead of rainbows, as usual for a whole week. Danny and Reuven were chasing after him all week trying to get the treasure, but Charlie the Flying Mint Unicorn wouldn't let them. They didn't have time for their usual long talks the whole week. They didn't have time for short ones either. After the week ended, Charlie the Flying Mint Unicorn stopped pooping treasure and went back to pooping rainbows. Danny and Reuven stopped chasing after him, (though Reb Saunders began), but had no breath left. They didn't get their breath back for two whole years! That was because Charlie the Flying Mint Unicorn along with Iggy Eyebrows and Candyland Bunny had cursed them.

2) The death of President Roosevelt was such a shock to everyone and it was so important because Ivan Russia and Y.W. China decided so, and everyone was so impressed that they decided to go along with it. Matthew Williams didn't agree so he became a ghost and got a polar bear like the teddy bear President Roosevelt hadn't killed, except someone had made a mistake, and it was a polar bear named I-Don't-Remember-His-Long-And-Hard-Name or Who?.

3)the shocking news that was revealed after the war was that Feliciano hadn't eaten pasta and Lovino hadn't asked for tomatoes the whole war. Reuven's father died from shock (and now we are all dying from bereavement.) Danny's father was more sensible and just fainted. Then he went to Ludwig and the Conquistador to ask them if the brothers were sick. It turned out they were 'cause Italy had been fed tomatoes and Lovi pasta. Danny's father switched their food and they went back to being crazy. Last we saw Feliciano was boiling pasta in the desert. Romano was killing anyone who stepped near his tomatoes.

4)Reuven moved into Danny's house because the Hero told him to, and he always had to listen to what the Hero said. The Hero also made Reuven talk to aliens, play video games, eat fatty hamburgers and (horror of horrors!) watch horror movies and spend the nights in haunted houses.

Chapter 12

1)Reuven was treated like a Frog when he stayed at Danny's hose, because Francis thought that Reuven was Artie 'cause the real Artie was hanging out with Mattie. Nobody could see them. Only him and Sir Winter, though. So Reuven was treated like a Frog by Francis and he got a new haircut every day. He looked very ugly. Then dear little Artie came back, and Francis had two Frogs to treat. Then Danny found out, and kicked Bonnefey out, but the damage was done. Reuven was already jumping out windows because of being in close contact with Bonnefey so long.

2)Danny wouldn't stop reading Freud because 2!P Braginski was standing over him knitting with one of his eyeballs (Danny's). You see, Danny had already refused to read Freud, and 2!P Braginski had taken his knitting needle and ripped out Danny's retina. Danny was crying from his remaining eye now. Suddenly he glanced up and saw I van knitting, and laughed. Now he has no eyes.

4)Danny fears talking to his father about Hercules's weird obsession with cats, and how he had been caught into it. His father hated cats, and ground Danny for a week together with Prussia in the same room if he found out that Danny was spending all day petting and playing with cats. Danny even kept five cats on the roof (which was smarter than in his room, where his father would find out about them for sure). The cat's names were Percy, Annabeth, Grover, Piper and Leo. Danny's name was Daniel. Greece's name was Hercules. My name is Chihori. I don't know what your name is.

I skipped 3 on purpose.

Promised rant about 'The Chosen': It should be outlawed everywhere. If you like to read a long book with letters less than a millimeter big, chapters with over 30 pages that do not get you anywhere, have any plot or even a meaning then this is the book for you!