Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Merlin *sobs*
A/N: Inspired by a review I got for Nothing Out Of The Ordinary by Shannara810
Warnings: Well there is the insanity factor that all my stories have; some slash (ITS AN ADDICTION I TELL YOU! *Bites the shrink*), and complete unbelievable-ness of it. So if you do not like any of it DONT READ! Simple. XD!
Well That Is Ironic
Arthur looked up as Merlin came in and smiled walking over to him and planting a soft kiss on his lips. He pulled back and frowned when Merlin did not respond. Looking over his lover, he saw that he was pale and worried. Arthur hoped that his father had not found out about Merlin's magic.
"Merlin, what is wrong?"
"Your father..." he gasped and his body started shaking Arthur quickly led him to the bed and sat him down, sitting beside him.
"Has he found out about your magic?" Merlin shook his head and seemed to, if possible, get even paler.
Merlin could only feel the complete horror that had been paralyzing his body slowly since he had made his discovery, part of Merlin wished that Uther had found out about his magic.
"Merlin, love, you need to talk to me"
"He...He..." he waved his hands like Arthur should know and suddenly the horror fled leaving anger in its wake and Merlin swore in The Old Language as he got up and paced running his hands through his hair and muttering.
Arthur watched his love and frown, perhaps Merlin had well and truly, finally lost it. After a few minutes of pacing Merlin sighed and turned to him all the anger gone and he sat back beside Arthur taking his hands.
"I have something I have to tell you"
"Go on?"
"Well..." Merlin took a deep breath and sighed again "IwentdowntotalktosparkythismorningandwellhelookedoddlysatisfiedandilookedaroundandsawabootandiaskedwhositwasandhejustchuckledandburpedandacrownflewoutandnearlyhitmeontheheadbutArthuritwasyourfather'scrown,sparkyateyourfather!I'msorry!" Merlin said really fast without breathing. Arthur blinked at his love and rolled his eyes his mind decoding Merlin's babble speech.
"You went to see Sparky?" Merlin nodded and Arthur frowned "who's Sparky?"
"The dragon under the castle"
"Ok and there was a boot so you asked who's it was?"
"Uh huh"
"And he burped and a crown hit you on your head?"
"Uh huh" Merlin nodded again idly playing with Arthur's fingers.
"And it was my father's crown?"
"Yeah" he said quietly
"Did he say he ate him?" Merlin hesitated then nodded "Oh" Arthur frowned and tilted his head "Well that is ironic," he murmured and kissed Merlin's temple "well I guess we better start the day, would you mind changing the sheets? Thank you" Arthur kissed him again and went to walk out.
"Wait is that it?" Merlin asked, Arthur stopped and turned to him
"Well someone was going to kill him one day, it is quite funny it was the Dragon, but hey I guess things happen so we just have to move on, now I have to go sort out the funeral and my coronation and stuff. Come find me when the sheets are done, oh and Merlin how's it feel to be the King's Lover?" Arthur flashed him a grin and strode out.
...
"Sire" Sparky rumbled as Arthur entered.
"You will not eat me will you?"
"No sire" Arthur nodded and walked over picking up the sword, crown, and boot. He studied the boot and hummed
"Was the right boot tastier then?"
"No, it fell down there somewhere" he said looking to the abyss below him.
"Did you enjoy your meal?"
"It was the finest Noble I have ever dined on" Arthur chuckled
"Well can we at least have his bones?"
"I'll get working on it right away sire" Arthur nodded and left chuckling to himself.
...
"Did you hear? Uther Pendragon was killed by someone called Sparky!"
Gaius sighed as he heard the whispering villagers; he had told that dragon to behave and not to eat any more nobility. It was bad for his digestion.
I Do Not Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every Second Of It. Did you?