a/n: Just a little look into Pansy's mind. This is part of my oneshot anniversary celebration! I've spent four years on fanfiction, whoo!
dedication: Here's to the crazy ones.
disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
summary: It's the ghosts she fears. – Pansy.
forward
She's standing in the empty foyer of her mansion, and she has no idea what she's going to do next. She can neatly categorize her life into 'before' and 'after' and the 'after' is a looming abyss of darkness that she's afraid to step into.
The turning point for her, and for everyone, is Harry Potter's defeat of the Dark Lord. It didn't matter which side you were on, or if you were neutral. She remembers reading her History of Magic textbooks and learning the pivotal moments that changed the entire course of the Wizarding World. The Dark Lord's death is one of them.
'Before' is everything that happened before it. Her life growing up as a spoiled only child to wealthy parents, her friendship with Draco and Blaise and Millicent, her pureblood mania. Watching Draco waste away on the Dark Lord's orders. Watching her parents grow more and more fearful as the Dark Lord's presence spread over the country. Watching her school fall in the final battle.
'Before' is simple to categorize. It's wrong, and evil and an influence Pansy should never have had. An influence she has thankfully not been punished for. The Wizengamot had tried, of course, but the mediwitch's report was conclusive and Pansy was released. It isn't a crime to wish someone dead, after all.
But now and after – that's what Pansy has to live for.
She sinks to her knees on the cold marble floor and starts to cry.
After a brief bout of depression, Pansy gets to work. She was bred to be a high-class socialite and she's going to need every one of her skills to aim for the future.
The first thing she does is empty her family accounts. She puts most of the money in her personal account and the rest aside in an account for one Daisy Parkinson. Pansy was never marked a Death Eater and her account shouldn't be seized at any costs. But contingency plans must be made.
Her parents' accounts are still vulnerable, though. Kingsley is a fair and just Minister, but the world is crying for Death Eater blood, and it's only a matter of time before they break into Gringotts vaults. They'll find only dust and a few Knuts in the Parkinson accounts, though.
The Parkinson Manor is completely renovated. Pansy has the deeds rewritten in her name and her name only, with Daisy as the sole heir. She removes all dark artifacts from the cellars and places them in her mother's vault. She chooses the portraits – any ancestor espousing a pureblooded agenda is delegated to the attic. It leaves her with nearly bare walls but Pansy is happy. She spent too long of her life trying to meet other people's qualifications.
Now, she's free.
The manor has been locked and warded – the only thing allowed through are owls. She doesn't subscribe to the Daily Prophet – their news is complete gossip-mongering and Pansy feels like she'll be sick if she reads any more. Instead, she gets her news from The Quibbler.
The first time she opens it, she has quite the shock. Half the stories are ridiculous to the point of hilarity and Pansy isn't quite sure what to think. As the months pass, she learns to read between the lines and ferret out the real news from the parody.
Death Eaters are still being rounded up. The Golden Trio's joined the Ministry. Draco's donated most of the Malfoy fortune to charity and seems to have his father's luck in worming himself out of trouble. Pansy smiles fondly at the picture of Draco that's been included in the article. He looks slightly bewildered at his good fortune. Affliction of Nargles? the headlines scream.
She misses him. She misses the others. But she has no idea how much of their redemption is just for show. She doesn't know whether they still believe in pureblood superiority. If they do…
Pansy looks down at her rounded stomach and rubs it softly. She will do nothing to place Daisy in danger.
Pansy can live comfortably on her fortune – she'll never need to work – but she still has no connections to the outside world. Therefore, it comes as a surprise when her weekly edition of The Quibbler comes with a letter. It's addressed to her in loopy handwriting – the same loopy handwriting that writes the editorial notes, but Pansy still waves her wand over the parchment.
Nothing turns up.
She slits the letter open and squints to read the periwinkle ink. It's a job offer – an offer to write a column for The Quibbler. Pansy stares at it and checks the signature – no wonder. It's Luna Lovegood.
Pansy decides send back a sarcastic reply asking when she should start. But Lovegood's response is genuine – as soon as possible, the letter reads.
Figuring that The Quibbler is already insane, and having a daughter of Death Eaters write a column wouldn't necessarily make it worse, Pansy writes. It's a short article on summer fashions and why the Muggle style of short skirts is an acceptable alternative to light-colored robes.
She doesn't expect to be published and therefore it comes as a surprise when her column appears alongside an article on how to catch the Blibbering Humdinger. It's her own words, printed under the tagline, Miss P's Palla Portents. There's a pretty picture of a witch dressed in the style Pansy recommended.
When she checks, Gringotts confirms a deposit in her account. It isn't much – to anyone else, it would probably be nothing, but Pansy is thrilled. She continues writing her articles on fashion wear and acceptable clothing. Soon, Luna begins sending her letters from readers asking whether this dress or that is okay for a night out.
Pansy's little column expands into an entire page and the first time she sees the full-color print, she nearly cries.
She then does cry as water spills on the floor beneath her and the pain starts.
Little Daisy Parkinson is the most beautiful thing Pansy has ever seen. The Healers at Saint Mungo's don't say anything to her and for that, Pansy is grateful – she doesn't think she could deal with questions on Daisy's father or when she got pregnant. But the Healers are discreet.
It's a surprise when Luna sweeps in. She coos at the baby – Pansy is half afraid that Luna will tell her that Daisy's infected with Nargles – and gives Pansy a gift-wrapped present. Its new robes, in precisely the style that Pansy had recommended in her article for new mothers.
"Birds cannot be afraid to fly," Luna says, in her usual cryptic manner, smiling at Daisy, "Sooner or later, they'll have to stretch their wings."
Pansy is left looking at Daisy's bright smile and thinking that perhaps Luna is right. (Luna is always right, but Pansy chooses to ignore that.)
The first stop she makes is Malfoy Manor. The floo is still connected – it's doubtful that anyone remembered to turn it off – and she arrives in the main foyer. She removes the Bubblehead Charm from Daisy just as Narcissa turns the corner.
They stare at each other. Pansy can see Narcissa's eyes dart to Daisy and back. Then Draco comes walking in and it's like nothing changed.
They hug and Pansy has her best friend back. Draco is suitably surprised about Daisy's existence in front of his mother, then whispers his condolences when Narcissa leaves. Draco's one of the two people that Pansy's told and Draco's the only one that knows that Daisy's father is dead.
If for nothing else, Pansy hates the Dark Lord for that. In another world, they could've been together, they could've raised Daisy together. But he was a muggleborn, and he had no chance.
Bit by bit, she reintroduces herself into the wizarding world. Not many people recognize her – so many people have changed their looks that she's nothing more than a single mother walking down Diagon Alley. She's also surprised that so many people read The Quibbler – she's lost count of how many people she's seen following her advice. Muggle fashion is in everywhere.
It's a different world than the one she left. Muggles and muggleborns are more widely accepted and Pansy is quietly happy that she played a part in that. The culture is changing for the better. Pansy will be able to raise Daisy in a world that doesn't sneer her for her blood.
The only thing constant is change and Pansy is happy that the world is finally moving forward.
fin
a/n: I was just wondering why Pansy would speak up in front of the entire school, and came up with the idea that she was just trying to protect her unborn child.