Title: The Curse of Coffee
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Author: Singing Violin
Rating: M
Summary: Janeway's coffee addiction was going to get her in trouble sometime. She just never imagined it would be like this.
Spoilers: Caretaker, Parallax, and a slight reference to "Pathways" by Jeri Taylor.
Disclaimer: They're not mine, and I'm very sorry about what I did to them in this one.
Feedback: Yes please.
Archiving: Anywhere.
After several hours, the negotiations were going nowhere. Captain Janeway had never been more frustrated in her life, and as a result, had just downed her sixth cup of coffee…or was it seventh? She'd lost track, needing the drug just to continue functioning. The descriptions of protocols breached by both sides would have put her to sleep within the first thirty minutes if she hadn't had her caffeine. She saw Chakotay eyeing her disapprovingly, and shot him back a meaningful glare. If you want your captain alive and functional, you will allow her this indulgence.
The only light peeking through the proverbial clouds was in the knowledge that, if she were successful in getting these people to agree to a treaty, Voyager would be paid in desperately needed deuterium. There's a year's worth of coffee to be had if I can finish this, she told herself.
She was about to call a recess, having decided that there was no hope of resolution in this session, when the lights went out. Shortly thereafter, she heard weapons fire, and felt herself being pushed towards the floor. Unfortunately, whoever was trying to valiantly shield her from the unknown enemy hadn't pushed her hard enough, and she felt a stab of pain rip through her as she lost consciousness.
When she woke up, she was chained spread-eagle to the stone wall of a prison cell, the only light coming through a small skylight. There appeared to be no door, and she surmised that one of the walls must be a disguised force field. She looked around the cell, wondering if she was alone, and sighed with a mixture of disappointment and relief when she saw her first officer limply hanging on an adjacent wall. He appeared to be unconscious.
"Chakotay," she called, and he stirred, blinking.
"Captain," he acknowledged. "How'd we get here?"
She shook her head. "During the negotiations, we were attacked. We must have been taken prisoner. I don't know any more than that. I just woke up."
"I wonder what they want," Chakotay mused, idly fiddling with the cuffs on his wrists, wondering if he could somehow break free. His efforts were in vain.
"Maybe they wanted those talks to end as much as I did," Kathryn mumbled, causing Chakotay to laugh.
"Kathryn," he suggested, "your wrists are skinnier than mine…any chance you can get out of those cuffs?" She twisted a bit, crunching her hands together, but the cuffs were, if anything, tighter around her wrists than around his.
"No dice," she responded. "Plus, even if we could get out of these shackles, I have no idea how to get out of this cell."
"Through the skylight, perhaps?" Chakotay speculated.
"Hmm," she mused. "Maybe that's how we got in. I was thinking one of the walls was probably a force field, but it's possible we're underground, and that window's the only way out. In which case, even if we could get down, we'd be pretty well stuck. Those walls don't look climbable."
"I guess we wait," Chakotay conceded.
"I guess so," Kathryn agreed.
They were silent for a while, until finally Chakotay decided that they might as well catch up on reports. They discussed the crew, and the duty roster, and even Neelix's latest concoctions.
At which point Chakotay noticed Kathryn starting to look a little pale. A bead of sweat trickled down the side of her face.
"Are you okay, Captain?" he asked, worriedly.
Her face contorted slightly. "I'm fine," she told him.
"You look a little green around the gills," he observed.
"Okay, I'm a little uncomfortable," she conceded. "But I bet you are too."
"Oh, I don't know," he joked. "I think I might duplicate this setup in my quarters when we get back. It's rather relaxing."
She cracked a slight smile, but then was serious again, as another bead of sweat trickled its way down the other side of her face. He watched her wiggle slightly, and he could swear she was struggling to control nausea. "I wonder how long it'll take Voyager to figure out we're missing and beam us up," she said.
"What's wrong, Kathryn?" Chakotay tried again.
She glared at him. "As if you don't know."
Suddenly he understood. "If you have to go, go," he instructed. "I won't watch."
She rolled her eyes at him. "I can hold it."
He smiled. "You don't seem to be very comfortable holding it. How many cups of coffee did you drink this morning?"
"Fuck you, Chakotay," she responded.
"Mmm, that sounds nice," he murmured suggestively.
"Shut up."
"Aye, ma'am," he replied, but giggled slightly.
"You're enjoying this," she accused.
"Enjoying watching you squirm? Yes, I admit it. But honestly, Kathryn, it's not a big deal. We're chained to the wall, and there's no telling when we'll be rescued. You might as well let go…it's going to happen sooner or later."
"Oh? I don't see you doing the dance," she pointed out.
"That's because I didn't have…how many cups of coffee did you say it was?"
Kathryn moaned. "Stop it."
They were silent again, while he watched her become increasingly edgy.
He spoke again. "Shall I point out to you the medical risks of delaying urination, Captain?"
"That's not necessary, Commander," she groaned.
"You know, if you develop an infection, the doctor will wring my neck…"
She took a deep breath. "I'll be fine, Chakotay. Just…be quiet. I'm sure we'll be rescued soon."
"Kathryn…you're obviously extremely uncomfortable. You'll feel better if…"
She interrupted him. "Starship captains. Do. Not. Wet themselves."
"Even while imprisoned and shackled to the walls? I bet you're wrong about that."
"I can hold it," she repeated, sounding desperately like she was trying to convince herself.
"You know, you should be glad it's not raining. I can't imagine how tormented you'd be by the sound of dripping water on that skylight…"
"Shit," Kathryn muttered as she felt a small trickle soak into her pant leg, and she clenched her muscles to stop it. "You're going to pay for that!"
He giggled again. "I've been telling you that your coffee addiction would catch up to you. I just didn't think it would be like this."
"You're just hoping to watch me humiliate myself. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
He sobered a bit. "Now why would I enjoy your humiliation, Kathryn?"
"Maybe because you've resented me from the minute the Liberty was destroyed. You asked me once whether I'd have served under you…and I did essentially demote you when I made you my first officer."
"Kathryn," he addressed her. "I do not resent you. And there is no shame in taking care of your bodily needs. As much as I am enjoying watching you squirm, I will enjoy it a lot less if you get sick. Whether or not I'm the one who has to take care of you."
"I can hold it," she repeated a third time, sounding ever more desperate.
"I don't doubt it," he responded. "But it's not a good idea."
They were silent again for a few minutes, until she spoke. "I think I'm going to throw up."
"Spirits!" Chakotay exclaimed, exasperated. "Just…look at me," he urged.
She looked over at him, meeting his gaze. There was such warmth and tenderness in his eyes, her breath caught in her throat, and she felt herself relaxing.
"No!" she cried, looking away.
"Kathryn," he called. "Please, don't look away. Trust me."
Slowly, she looked back at him, again losing herself in his brown orbs. Silently, he attempted to convey to her the permission she seemed to be lacking, and he saw a tear trickle from her eye.
"I love you," he said plainly, holding her gaze like a lifeline.
Suddenly, she felt the "whoosh" of her bladder giving way. Her cheeks reddened, but she stared directly at him while the sound of liquid hitting the cell floor seemed to last for an eternity.
Finally, the flow ended, though she continued to look into his eyes for several minutes before finally closing her own in relief.
"Feel better?" he asked sympathetically.
She nodded without opening her eyes.
Then he looked down. "Spirits, Kathryn, how did you manage to hold that? It's a lake!"
"I didn't," she pointed out, stifling a giggle as she also looked down to observe her mess.
He shook his head in disbelief. "You must hold your alcohol well too."
She smiled at him. "I don't drink alcohol," she responded. "I was tipsy once…didn't like it. Vowed never to let myself lose control like that."
"No wonder you were reluctant to…" he started. "You're a total control freak."
"Zip it, mister," she responded bitterly. "You've got your blackmail material now."
He sighed. "I promise I won't tell a soul."
Just then, they felt the familiar sensation of the transporter. As they materialized in the transporter room, Chakotay realized that he was going to have to think fast in order to preserve his captain's dignity.
Quickly, he grabbed her and pressed her towards him, kissing her fiercely.
Taking the bait, the astonished transporter operator beamed them to the captain's quarters.
Safely in the privacy of her room, he broke contact. "Sorry about that," he apologized as he pulled away from her, "I was just trying to…"
"I know what you were doing, Chakotay, and," she paused, "thank you."
He smiled. "You're welcome."
Then she slapped him playfully. "But don't do it again. I'm going to get changed."
She disappeared into her bathroom and emerged a few minutes later, cleaned and dried.
He was waiting for her, and as soon as she reappeared, he pulled her towards him.
"Hey," she objected. "I thought I told you not to do that again."
"Sorry," he responded. "I didn't think you meant it. Why wouldn't you want me to kiss you?"
She raised an eyebrow suggestively. "I might wet myself again."
"Like an excited puppy?" he asked.
"No," she elaborated carefully, nuzzling close to him. "Like an excited woman, with a man who's told her he loves her. And don't tell me you didn't mean it, because I will kill you."
"Oh, I meant it," he confirmed. "Now, can I kiss you again?"
"Only if you're prepared for the consequences," she replied, moving towards him.
"I'm looking forward to them," he responded, just before capturing her lips with his own.
Several hours later, he snuggled against her in her bed, feeling more contented than he had in ages, but something nagged at him.
"Kathryn," he called, and, sleepily, she murmured back. "Yes, Chakotay?"
"Why, all of a sudden, were you willing to drop the protocols and make love to me? Not that I'm complaining…"
She sat up and thought for a moment before replying. "Lots of reasons."
"Like what?" he asked curiously.
"For one thing, I needed my own blackmail material."
"Oh," he responded disappointedly. "I see."
But she continued. "For another thing, I figured the crew would be talking anyway after your little display in the transporter room. I might as well take what they think I have already."
"Anything else?" he prompted.
"It was a wonderful way to work out the frustration of that session. If we have to go back tomorrow…hopefully with better security…I think I'll be able to do without quite so much coffee."
"Learnt your lesson, have you?" he taunted.
"Shut up, Chakotay," she said, playfully punching at him.
He looked hurt. "Is that it?"
"No," she confirmed. "There was one more reason…the most important reason of all."
"And that is?" he queried apprehensively.
"I love you too, Chakotay." And with that, she kissed him.
EPILOGUE
"Your coffee, ma'am," Chakotay offered, setting the cup on the desk in the captain's ready room. "Congratulations on completing successful negotiations. I can only imagine how happy you are, now that we've got enough deuterium to last another year."
She was distracted and didn't respond, which worried him.
"Are you okay, Kathryn?" he asked.
"Hmm?" she replied, absent-mindedly grabbing at her mug and sipping it gingerly.
"I said congratulations for your success. But you don't seem remotely happy about it."
"Oh," she responded, finally looking up at him. "I'm happy about it. Though we never did figure out who took us and why." She looked back down at a padd, though he was pretty sure she wasn't actually reading it.
Chakotay shrugged. "I'm sure they'll track down the criminals; it's not our problem anymore. Besides…you left them a beautiful present."
She looked up again, startled. "Yes, just before we were rescued. I guess I feel pretty stupid. Just a few more minutes and…"
"Hey," he said tenderly. "First of all, Murphy's Law indicates that, had you'd been able to wait a few more minutes, it would have taken that much longer to rescue us. Second of all, if you hadn't lost it, I wouldn't have had an excuse to kiss you in the transporter room, and you never would have made love to me."
"Are you so sure about that?" she asked him suggestively. "You did admit you loved me."
"Which was, as I recall, the trigger…"
She held up a hand to stop him. "Okay, you win. But I don't want you thinking that every time you tell me you love me, I'll wet myself."
"I wish you would," he told her, "just…like an excited woman, not an excited puppy."
"I think that can be arranged," she whispered, leaning towards him.
He gave her a flirtatious look. "I love you, Kathryn Janeway." His mouth approached hers, but she pulled away just before their lips could touch.
"I love you too, Chakotay…now get out of my ready room and tell me again when our duty shifts are over."
"Aye, Captain," he responded, betting to himself that he wouldn't see her on the bridge again before that moment. With any luck, he might get her to break her coffee habit altogether…