Hey there! Here I am with another story that is an entry for a contest! And it's for MerchantAnna's Wacky Wonderful Parody Contest! Yeah! I'm finally putting this abomination up...In all honesty...I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing with this one...I mean...I don't even know if it really fits the criteria of the contest, but hey, hopefully it does, and hopefully MerchantAnna would like it. I don't know. Basically this is a parody of a dating sim. But not just any dating sim...the one...the only...HUNIE POP!

*retches*

ANYWAYS! ...I watched some people play it. The puzzles looked fun. The other parts...eh...I'll just stop there. Anyways, I will incorporate other memes in here, but the main focus is the whole Hunie Pop game. With a little twist...I guess. I don't know how high the rating will get, but to be on the safe side, I am putting this as M. Just to be safe...You guys would understand later...

ANYWAYS! Don't know how I came up with this, but I did. And, again, Dark Pit is Nadir here. Hope you guys enjoy. Enjoy, peeps.

Chapter 1

Robin spun the liquid in his glass, watching the light flash on and off from the reflection of his drink. For the last time since the sixth hour the albino sighed as he leaned against his hand. It was a beautiful Sunday night, perfect for a night out with a great girl. Or guy. Whatever. Robin didn't really care since he was single for the longest time he could remember, unfortunately. That pretty much was the reason why he was sitting here at the bar with nobody around. Because he was all alone and the last time he had a date was…oh, never mind that. That wasn't really important right now. He examined some of the occupants in the room, but they barely gave him any attention at all. It was almost a slap to the face, saying, "I wouldn't go out with you. Not in a million years." For that simple reason, it was more than enough to get him down on this night. The young man sighed once more before taking a sip of his drink. He decided to stop staring at the door in hopes that somebody might come to him.

Just as well as he did. He barely heard the door squeaking open to reveal a young man who looked like he was barely out of college. His crimson eyes scanned the area before a smirk crossed his face. He sauntered over to where Robin sat all alone at the bar. Taking the seat right next to the desolate man, he leaned over the counter. When he came into Robin's line of view, the albino jumped slightly in surprise. In all honesty, he was wallowing in his misery a bit too much to notice.

"Hi there," the newcomer said with the smirk still on his face as he looked Robin up and down. Both of Robin's eyebrows rose in shock. He glanced around him to make sure that he was the only one that the raven-haired stranger could possibly be talking to. When nobody else was in sight, the young man uncertainly pointed a finger to himself.

"Who…me?" he asked. His own eyes roamed the stranger. Robin couldn't help but notice how the straps of the stranger's black tank top were quite loose, falling from their original positions. Yet the newcomer made no move to fix them. Thankfully his shirt was tight enough that the whole thing didn't fall off. He leaned against his hand, his multiple silver bracelets giving a slight jingle.

The ravenhead nodded, "Yeah, you! You think I'll be talking to myself or the air right behind you?"

"Oh, sorry. I just…don't talk to many guys in this…setting…"

"With your getup, it's no wonder," the young man scoffed. "Name's Nadir; nice to meet you."

Robin blinked in confusion. He opened his mouth to introduce himself, but no words came out. In fact, he was drawing a total blank at the moment considering how there had been zero times in his life where some hot stuff walked right up to him and initiated the conversation. "…I literally can't remember my name right now…"

"Riiiiiight…we'll try that again later," Nadir waved away the incoming bartender, much to the man's dismay. He glanced at Robin, a slightly concerned but mostly amused look on his face. "Look dude, are you gonna be alright? You're having trouble holding it together over there."

Robin shook his head to clear away the haze. Since this was his chance, he really didn't want to blow it, although, he probably already did the moment he opened his mouth. "Nah, I'm chill. I'm chill."

"Pssh! That's a fat load of shit and you know it," Nadir's eyes narrowed suddenly. At the sudden aggression, Robin's eyes searched the counter in front of him for some help. He mentally berated himself for pretending to be cool enough to talk to the cute guy in front of him. This was not turning out the way he wanted it to. Robin could see his chances slipping from his fingers. Actually, he wasn't even sure that he had any chance to begin with. He searched for some response to Nadir's blatant statement. If anybody looked over to the two young men at the counter right now, it was painfully obvious who had more experience than the other despite their difference in age.

"Well, it's just that…you're so…pretty and stuff," even Robin cringed as he floundered for those words. He couldn't believe out of all the things that came from his mouth, it had to be that statement. His chest aching, he really just wanted to crawl into a hole he dug by himself to die in shame.

"Oh geez, did you just say that? Wow…" Nadir crossed his arms and leaned away, his brow furrowed in thought. "Hmmmmmm, wait…you know what? This might actually work…yeah…I'll make it work. This is your lucky day, buddy!" at the tone of excitement in Nadir's voice, Robin looked up in surprise. The smirk had returned to the stranger's face while his crimson eyes shone with devilish joy. For some reason, even though Robin didn't really like the look of it, something about it just drew him in. It reeked of arrogance and pain but at the same time offered some reassurance to the lonely man that things would work out. "Listen, I gotta go. But we'll meet again real soon. Trust me. See ya!"

Before Robin could stretch out his hand to stop Nadir from leaving, the ravenhead had already whisked away. The only sign that proved he was even there to begin with was the flushed look of embarrassment and confusion on Robin's face. He sat on his stool, stunned for a few seconds before realizing what had happened. Did he get a date or something? It kind of sounded that way, but for some reason, Robin was quite sure that Nadir didn't hook a date with him at all. Then what did he mean that they would meet again? Robin left the bar with that particular question in mind. It wouldn't leave him even after he got in his bed, ready to sleep. It was as if Nadir had casted a spell over Robin to make him still think about his encounter. He could still see Nadir's bare shoulders, muscular enough to show that he wasn't a softie but soft enough to hold with both hands.

The albino quickly shook his head to clear away that image. If he thought about it, he knew he would be awake for the next half hour or so. And he couldn't afford that. He needed his sleep. Despite the reluctance in his mind and heart, Robin listened to his voice of reason and closed his eyes to fall into a dreamless sleep.

…

"Hey, you! Rise and shine! We've got work to do!"

Robin groaned as the cheerful voice broke through the fog of sleep he was currently in. He muttered something lost to both him and the stranger as he turned over in his bed.

"I said GET UP!" the cheerful voice suddenly got a bit more aggressive with him as a shadow's hands grabbed hold of Robin's blanket and pulled it away from him. The albino in bed instantly whined at the lack of warmth, shivering the moment his protection from the outside world left him.

"Mmmm, five more minutes…" he begged.

"No way, cutie. No time to waste!" something slapped him, causing his eyes to open wide and his body to jump startled at the abrupt contact. Robin looked around his messy room groggily, the sleep still preventing him from seeing clearly. He rubbed it away, only to blink rapidly in what could only be described as a dream. A young man who looked eerily like Nadir stood smiling at the foot of his bed. He shared Nadir's face but his hair was chocolate brown and his eyes a blueberry. He wore a white tunic decorated with red and gold hems fastened to the shoulder by a gold pin with a red gem on it. It was barely enough to cover his groin region, where Robin blushed at the realization that the strange wasn't wearing any real pants to cover his matching underwear. If that wasn't strange enough, a pair of rice white wings fluttered gently behind his back.

"That getup…I'm definitely still dreaming…" Robin muttered to himself. He tried to keep his eyes from wandering, which would have opened him up to possibly a lot of teasing from the stranger.

Said person giggled in reply, "Good thing it totally is happening."

"Who…?"

"Aw…don't you recognize this adorable face? Granted, it was my twin that you just met at the bar but still…I'm Pit, Nadir's twin brother!"

"Wha…" Was this what Nadir meant when they were going to meet up later? But then…the person in front of him just said that his name was Pit, and not Nadir. And that he was Nadir's twin. Robin couldn't fathom the possibility that somebody as cute as Nadir would have an equally cute brother. It didn't seem like the world alone would be able to support that.

"If you can't tell by now, I'm an angel. Well, a love angel to be exact."

"…you mean a cupid?"

"No, silly! A love angel!" Pit smiled cheekily. "The name cupid is so greek year."

"Okay, what is a love angel then, if not a cupid?" Robin asked, the confusion obvious on his face. As far as he knew, the two were practically the same thing. Both helped people find love, though perhaps love angels didn't use arrows like cupid did. At that thought, Robin froze. Wait…was this guy here…going to help him get a date? Was this really happening to him?

Pit leaned on the bed, the smile still on his face. Robin found that he preferred Pit's smile over Nadir's smirk. There was just a more…innocent tone to him than his darker counterpart. However, if Pit's getup was anything to go by, Robin concluded that he was way more than meets the eye and that he obviously had some tricks up his…sleeve…"Good question. I'm glad you asked. You see, as a love angel, it's my job to help poor saps like you out with anybody, depending your preference. It's…just what my brother and I do."

To be honest, Robin still couldn't see the difference between the love angel and cupid. Yet he knew better than to pursue that route any longer. At least he couldn't see the love angel holding onto any bows or arrows. He wondered briefly how it felt to be pierced by a love arrow and whether it actually hurt when he refocused on the mysterious being before him. Just as well as he did. Pit was still talking, and the albino almost missed what he was saying.

"I don't like to brag, but I'll have you know my brother and I have a very impressive track record. All of our previous clients are practically walking babe magnets. You, though…" Pit coughed but the smile was still on his face, "Let's just say that you'll be our greatest accomplishment yet."

Robin raised an eyebrow at that. Wait, were there more of these guys around? He stupidly wondered why nobody noticed until he realized that it was painfully obvious that these love angels disguised themselves (he was willing to bet that Nadir also supported a similar outfit to his twin only in the opposite color). After that passing thought, he frowned slightly, recognizing the underlining insult in Pit's statement. Sure, he didn't have much luck with getting the girls, or the guys, but did Pit really have to rub it in? Besides that, why help him?

"Why do you want to help me? What's in it for you guys? And where's your brother anyway?" Robin fired back.

Pit's smile faded slightly as he sighed, "Man, you and all these questions…can't a love angel just help a human out? Anyways, we need to get started right away. Tell me, how many dates HAVE you been on?"

Robin noticed how Pit completely evaded all those questions. He was pretty sure that if he continued to ask, Pit still wouldn't answer. Looks like he was stuck with the burning curiosity until the love angel finally decide on his own time what to tell him. Besides that, he knew that now that he pretty much thrown in his lot with Pit, he had no choice but to follow through with what the love angel was saying. Truth to be told, he really wanted some TLC (the "T" standing for "touching"). And if Pit and Nadir could hook him up with a soulmate, why decline the offer? He would be crazy not to take up this chance.

At that fearful question, Robin looked away in shame. "Uh…I mean…you know…an…amount…"

"…Oh Lady Palutena, it's worse than I thought, isn't it? All right! Grab your shit! We're getting out there and talking to some dudes!" Pit grabbed Robin's hand to pull him out of the bed. At the love angel's words, Robin's head snapped up. He was in so much shock that he didn't realize he was leaving his house still in his nightshirt and boxers. He finally regained his senses and held his ground, also stopping Pit from dragging him to some random place. The love angel almost tripped over the dirty clothes that the man carelessly left on the ground.

"Wait, dudes?!" Robin asked incredulously.

Pit looked at him, the annoyance of his sudden stop clear in his eyes, "Uh…yeah. You definitely wouldn't have a chance with the girls, so…you're better off trying to hit it off with the guys. Besides, even though I'm bi, I lean towards the guys a bit more."

"Isn't this about me, and not you?" the male asked.

The love angel crossed his arms, a knowing smile on his lips, "Sure, cutie. But who's the expert in love here?" At the question, Robin hesitated to reply. Both of them knew the answer yet what was left of Robin's pride prevented him from doing so. Pit raised an eyebrow pointedly. After what seemed like the longest time, the albino's dignity finally caved in. His eyes slid away from Pit's knowing look.

"You are."

"Exactly. So…whose advice should we follow?"

"…Yours…" Robin's shoulders sagged in slight defeat. Pit's arrogant smile turned to one of sympathy. He patted Robin's back in reassurance.

"Don't worry, Robin. My brother and I would do everything in our power to find a soulmate for you…or two…" Pit hid a grin as he whispered the last part to himself.

"What was that?" the albino frowned as the love angel seemed to mutter an afterthought. Pit held both hands out in an innocent gesture.

"Oh, nothing. Now get ready! We've got a long day ahead of us!" Now, instead of pulling him towards the door, Pit shoved him towards the bathroom. Robin didn't protest this time, yet he couldn't help a sinking feeling in his stomach as he closed the door behind him. It seemed like the right choice for him to accept the love angel's help. His desperation for some TLC was actually quite pathetic. However he hoped that this would not bite him back in the ass. Things have a way of doing so, and this exact situation just seemed like a recipe for disaster.

Robin jumped slightly when a vigorous knocking suddenly broke him out of his thoughts. He glared at the door as if his scare was its fault. After a few seconds, Pit's voice called out to him, "Hey, Robin. I'm going to give you a choice to decide on where you want to go. You can go to the university, the mall, the gym, the café, or the park. What would it be?"

...of course, it'll be Robin! Of course it'll be him! Who else would I pick, Shulk?! Somebody's been influencing me a bit too much...*coughSTARTSWITHAGcough*

So, my dear readers? What would it be? University, mall, gym, café, or park? Each place has a different person, so it really does depend on where Robin goes to see who he hooks up with first. If you guys don't say anything, then I'm just going to pick a random one. So, yeah. You guys do have a choice-ish, even though you guys don't really know who's going to be where. If anything...you can just tell me who you want to see Robin with the most, and I might tweak a few things. If not...well, that's what back-up plans are for. Anyways...ugh, I did not really enjoy that...but still...hope you guys enjoyed. That's what's important. And a contest's a contest. And I can go through with this...hopefully...See you guys next time.