The Peace Keeper
I'm the one who is always looked to for help, for balance. The one you can always depend on.
Jasper.
Being strong is my job. Then why am I so weak? They can all resist the call of human blood so easily, especially Carlisle—and Edward. Edward. La tua cantante. Bella's blood calls to him stronger than any other, and still he can resist. He can kiss her, and still remain in control, when I can barely be near her at all. And I have no control over it, no control over my lust for human blood.
It makes me mad. Which, of course having my gift, I have to stop before everyone else gets mad too. So you see, everyone envies me my unshakably calm countenance, but they don't know. They don't understand.
Alice understands.
Alice knows me better than I know myself—she can see through my every pretense. She's the only one that can calm me down, make things right. That's funny—it's my job to make people calm down, to keep them from exploding. Maybe that's why I love Alice so much—if she could take my cross onto her own back, then she would.
Either way, everything would be made so much easier, for all of us, if Edward would just change Bella. Even days after the vote, no one could bring up the subject without earning fierce growls. Now he and Bella have come to an agreement: marriage first, change after. But still, should Carlisle casually mention her changing, or Emmett subject him to his signature teases, the reaction is always the same: Edward shaking his head, his features twisting in pain. It drives Rosalie crazy particularly; I've tried to avoid her lately, something I mostly do anyway because though I love my sister, I hate her anger.
But how can he loathe the concept so much? I've talked to Alice about it, and there's nothing Bella wants more than to be with him forever. I look at her when Edward is around her, the way her eyes light up and sparkle when she looks at him, and I don't have to be a vampire to see how she utterly adores him.
I've asked Alice: It's clear she accepts what he is, so why is it so difficult for him? She told me, after some thought, that in the end it won't matter if Bella accepts him: Edward will have to accept himself.
I think Alice might be right.
She usually is, despite how indefinite her visions are. And even if she were always wrong, there would be nothing on this earth that could stop me from loving her. Alice is the thing that makes all of this worth it: the struggle over resisting human blood, the burden of keeping everyone happy. She's the reason why I do it all, the reason why I stay with this lifestyle, the reason why I keep the peace in our coven. And this life that I live, or whatever it is, is a perfectly contented one. Because I have Alice.
And if I have Alice, then nothing else matters.