The Love Of A Knight
It was a beautiful day but I never seem to see the days anymore for I had been locked in nothing but darkness yet the only light that seemed to keep me going was the hope of reuniting with my brother and my fellow knights.
I should probably introduce myself. My name is Shirin Castus, the half sister of Arthur Castus. Leader of the Sarmatian knights, a warrior of both Roman and Briton yet his father was my father for my mother was from Persia and upom meeting her he had fallen for her and wooed her, creating me in the process. My mother had remained his mistress yet not for long. Arthur had always saw me as his little sister and never condemmed me for what our parents had been through. I had been trained as a knight along side Arthur, his best friend as well as mine, Lancelot and our other close knights. Galahad, Gawain, Bors, Tristain and Dagonet. My brothers in arms, truly what I would call family but I had always been in love with Lancelot even as a child but with bad forturne I was taken from them by the Woads which I later found out were truly people that were of help then later on I was captured by Marius and till now I was still imprisoned inside this trecherous wall that held nothing but the stench of death now but along my journey I had Guinevere, daughter of Merlin who was the leader of the Woads.
It was another day filled with terror, pain and betrayal as I laid along side of Guinevere with my head in her lap as I thought about my brother for the 3rd time that day today.
"Shirin what is it that you are thinking of?" she asked curiously. Guinevere knew of my brother Arthur for she had heard of stories from me and her father both.
I smiled weakly as I turned to face her. "I was thinking of the last time I had seen his face before I was taken in by Marius. Oh Gwen what if I am not able to see him again? My brother? My knights?" I asked fearfully.
Guinevere merely smoothed down my hair as she rested her head exaustingly against the wall both thinking the samething no doubt but what we didn't know was our lives were about to change.
About a day later...
I was awaken by the sound of someone breaking into our prison cell and I heard a demanding voice that sounded a bit familiar.
"The work of your god? Is this how he answers your prayers?" he wondered in disgust. I tried to lift my head from upon Guinevere's lap but I was having some difficulties. I knew I had heard that voice once before then another familiar voice cut in my thoughts.
"See if there is any still alive" came a commanding voice. My eyes widened as I recognized the voice of my own kin, my brother Arthur which meant the voice that I heard was Lancelot's. I struggled to rise then froze as I heard the sound of ripping flesh and a body thudding against the ground. Guinevere turned her shocked expression towards me to make sure if I saw that but I met her expression with a surprisingly calm one.
"There was a man of god!" one of the monks protested. I heard the sound of Lancelot's growl. "Not my god!" he shot back as he continued on what he was intent on doing. I heard Dagonet's voice which made my eyes well up in happy tears as I heard my brothers in arms voices then I saw Lancelot peek into our cell and spotted Guinevere and I laying there. I felt the ache in my heart as I stared at how handsome he had become with his wild, curly hair and bearded goatee but his deep brown eyes that burned within my own still held his distrust. He didn't seem to recognize me but I could barely summon up the strength to call out to him as he called out to Arthur. I saw Guinevere eye them untrustfully which I didn't blame for she didn't even know them yet I wasn't much help either.
I saw Arthur come over and I nearly called out in happiness as he peered inside also not seeming to recognize me but it had been at least 2 years since we had seen one another.
He rose and unsheathed Excalibur and cut off the lock in a mighty blow that made Guinevere and I to cower in fear. Arthur reached in and with comfort murmur's pulled Guinevere within the cradle of his arms as he lifted her and carried her out leaving Lancelot alone to do the same. I eyed Lancelot to see if would recognize me but I felt the wave of dizziness settle over me and I swayed a bit as I made to rise. Lancelot rushed forth and swept me into his strong, warm arms as he cradled me against his chest.
"It is alright now, you are safe" he murmured in comfort. I merely gave a meek sigh as he quickly carried me out and into the cool, snowy air as he bellowed for water. I blinked against the harsh light for I hadn't seen light in a longtime. I saw Lancelot check me over then he stopped as he saw something that he seemed to recognize. No doubt that he found my scar on my shoulder that he had inflicted by accident when we were training with one another.
Lancelot had felt so guilty about that, that he didn't face me for a week until I finally cornered him and made him talk to me and I explained to him that I wasn't to be treated as a child, I was a grown girl and bound to get cuts, from then on we became close as anyone could possibly get yet we never admitted our feelings for one another and I knew that Lancelot held feelings for me as I held for him. No one knew about that scar but Lancelot alone and as I gazed at him I knew that he recognized me.
He raised his eyes to meet mine and I gave him a weak smile. "Did you miss me Lance?" I cracked hoarsely. His eyes widened then I heard Tristain make a comment.
"Their Woads" he stated. Lancelot ignored him as he turned to search my eyes to make sure that it was true and that I wasn't deceiving him but when I mentioned the nickname that I had given him he knew that I wasn't deceiving him at all.
He turned to me and gently swept me into his arms to give me a comforting hug as I held onto him the best that I could and I saw everyone turn to see what the commotion was all about. Lancelot turned towards Arthur.
"Arthur come quickly! Look at her and tell me who is it you see" Lancelot ordered as Arthur came to his side. Arthur looked down at me with impatientness but then his eyes searched mine and his eyes widened in recognization.
"S-Shirin? Is it truly you?" he asked. I nodded weakly then I closed my eyes at the pain that shot through my body. Lancelot tensed his jaws in anger and cradled me closer more protectively. I heard the other knights murmur my name and I knew that they had missed me just as much as Arthur and Lancelot had.
"Stop! What are you doing?" cried Marius. Lancelot sent him a death glare and dared him to come closer but Arthur decided a different approach as he rose angerly at Marius.
"What is this madness?" he demanded. I felt Lancelot brushing my tangled hair out of my face as I shivered then I felt him began to check my injuries and I saw his jaw tighten upon seeing the wounds that were inflicted by countless beatings and tortures. The muscles in his jaw twitched threatingly as I recognized his death look.
"They're all Pagans here!" Marius exclaimed defensively. Arthur wasn't excepting that answer but Galahad beat him to an answer.
"So are we" he stated. I watched Arthur as did Lancelot as Marius was trying to make them see reason in the matter of which he ran by this.
"They refuse to do the task that god has set out for them!" he shot back pitifully. I gripped onto Lancelot as he took a water bottle from Gawain who kneeled next to me as well as he smiled down at me happily and brushed a strand of hair out of my face.
"Good to have you back little one" he murmured. I nodded then greedly drank the water that Lancelot offered me and coughed as I had drunk to fast but my attention was once captured by Arthur once again.
"You mean they refused to become your serfs!" yelled out Arthur angerly. I jumped a bit but then Lancelot stroked my cheek comfortingly as he gazed into my eyes then I had made to stand but Lancelot stopped me.
"You need to save your strength. Do not fret so for you are safe now little one and you know this" he murmured comfortingly. I knew what he meant but then my attention rested on Fulcinia as she came to my side but then Marius turned his anger upon her.
"YOU! You kept them alive!" he shouted angerly as he backhanded her and she went sprawling on the ground, Lancelot made to rise but Arthur beat him to it and delievered a blow upon Marius that he too went sprawling onto the ground.
I turned and crawled over to Fulcinia who wrapped her arms around me protectively. Lancelot rose to stand by Arthur's side as Arthur held Excalibur to Marius throat making his nasty guards come to his defense.
"My lord!" they cried while withdrawing their swords but Marius upon seeing the anger in Arthurs eyes stopped them.
"When we get back to the wall, you shall be punished for this heresy" he muttered darkly. Arthur was not fazed and pressed the tip of his sword a bit more as he glared down into his eyes with his own burning in anger.
"Perhaps I shall kill you now and seal my fate" he remarked menacingingly. I slowly rose to my feet with the help of Fulcinia as Lancelot came to my side and I rested against him for strength as Arthur turned towards a monk that stepped forth.
"I was willing to go with them, for you see it was gods wish that these sinners be sacrificed. To be brought forth towards the holy kingdom" he explained creepingly. I cowered behind Lancelot who held my hand tightly within his own as he glared at the monk but then Arthur shocked us all.
"Then I shall grant his wish" he stated as he turned away for a moment. The monk turned towards us smugly as I stared at Arthur in disbelief but then his next belted order took us all by surprise.
"Wall them back up" he remarked calmly as he strolled towards Fulcinia, Lancelot and I and took me within his arms as he hugged me gently to not hurt me as he murmured what I longed to hear for so long.
"My darling sister I have missed you so" he whispered lovingly. I felt the waves of blackness slowly threatingly to overcome me but before they did I murmured my response.
"I have also my dear brother" then I slumped into his arms as I heard his cry of alarm and Lancelot's orders that we needed to get out of here and I rested in the moments of blackness.
Lancelot's point of view...
I couldn't believe she was alive and safe within the cradle of my arms where I sensed her strength was still strong but yet she was very much weak but she was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.
Upon losing her I had become a walking ghost among the lands we lived upon. The other knights had felt the same but no one held the intensity of the pain as Arthur and I had over the loss of her but more then the loss was the guilt that racked us till even now over not being able to find her and bring her back to us but now here she was in my arms, gazing within my eyes with the deepest brown eyes I had ever seen. The insanity went on around us but my attention was entirely on her.
Arthur now holds her within his arms and murmurer's within her ear but then she slumped into his arms causing him to cry out in alarm but I quickly ordered that we needed to leave quickly and Arthur swept Shirin into his arms and set her within the carriage that we had also placed the other young woman and the boy and quickly set off. I rode along side Arthur but yet my thoughts were on the pretty brunette that lied in the carriage. My only thought was to get her to safety, no matter the cost for I couldn't loose her again, I wouldn't even be able to bear it and at that thought I became angry.
This wasn't her fight to be put through, tis was ours, I wasn't about to loose her again to this manstrosity and I planned on making that known.
I rode over to Arthur who gazed down at the valley below as the snow began to fall a bit more as I stared out at the valley below and I turned to face him.
"We are needing to move more quickly, were wasting our time with these people. The girl is not going to make it and neither is the boy" I remarked. Arthur turned to me briefly.
"We will not leave them here" he remarked calmly. Gritting my teeth in anger I lashed out. "If the Saxons come we will have to fight" I shot back, trying to make him see reason. Arthur turned to me with a arched eyebrow a bit surprised at my display of anger.
"Then save your anger for them" he answered. I stared at him in surprise at his cool demenour. "Is this Romes quest or Arthurs?" I wondered. Arthur sighed as he shifted in his seat upon his horse.
"Lancelot I dont wish to put anyone else in danger. I understand that you are worried about Shirin but I promise you that no harm shall come upon her anymore" he remarked passionately. I sighed for I knew that Arthur loved his little sister dearly and meant no harm. I turned my horse but looked back at Arthur once more.
"I am going to go see her, will you not come also?" I asked. Arthur looked back out towards the valley but turned towards me once again.
"You go and I shall come later" he remarked. I merely nodded as I went towards the carriage and entered it seeing Dagonet sitting next to the boy but looked up as I entered.
"Dagonet how is he faring?" I asked. Though I didn't feel the boy had any right to come along I was concerned. Dagonet seemed to have a fondness for the boy now.
"He burns. Brave boy" he muttered fondly. I merely smiled then moved towards Shirin. Dagonet looked over his shoulder towards me.
"She had awakened and quickly fell back asleep but she asked for you my friend" he remarked with a bit of a tease. I ignored it as I kneeled next to her as I watched her sleep. I took her cold hand within my own but noticed that it was bandaged up, startled upon not spotting this before I wondered why her hand was bandaged to begin with then I heard her stir and I looked to see that she was waking up.
Back to my point of view...
I slowly felt the cloud of blackness lift and I blinked against the light that wanting to come forth and I felt my hand being held within a warm one. I opened my eyes and squinted to rest on Lancelot as he smiled down at me.
"Well our sleeping beauty has awakened. How are you faring?" he asked concernly. I smiled at him as I realized that I was truly safe in this carriage by Lancelot and Arthur's side.
I pressed my good hand against his bearded cheek and took pleasure at feeling his warm skin under my cool one, apparently he was enjoying it as well for his eyes closed as if he were savouring the moment.
"I-I missed you terribly Lancelot that I felt that I wasn't about to go on yet your memories is what kept me going. The mere thought of renuiting with you, my brother and my fellow knights is something I clung too" I admitted. He sighed as he brought my bandaged hand up and my eyes widened at him discovering my hand. I looked at him as he gazed at me questioningly. I whimpered a bit as he slowly and gently unwrapped my hand and saw that my fingers were completely out of place then raised his shocked gaze to meet my saddened ones.
"I must set your fingers back in place for there may be a chance that you may never be able to use them again" he explained. I wanted to disagree but I knew that he was right so I merely nodded and placed my other hand against his shoulder as I braced myself. Lancelot looked at me sympatically then he began to crack my fingers back into place causing me to cry out in pain but it pained him more to hear my cries of pain that me myself going through it then finally he cracked them all into place which caused me to cry out more as I buried my face in Lancelot's chest as he held me tightly as I breathed calmly now as I moved my fingers about. Lancelot made to rise when I gripped his shoulder.
"They tortured us...with machines. Wanting us to speak of matters we knew not of" I murmured hollowly. Lancelot just listened as I told him of the horrors I experienced then I began to cry softly within his chest as he held me tightly to him, afraid to let me go.
"I am so terribly sorry Lancelot, I came to find you and Arthur when I was taken captured" I remarked. He looked down at me.
"By Marius" he stated but I shook my head. He looked at me questioningly as I sighed then leaned my head upon his shoulder.
"By the Saxons" I murmured. I shuddered at the thought of it and Lancelot pulled back to search my face as I caught to surprised expression.
"D-did they..." he trailed off as he feared to voice what he was worried about but I knew what he was getting out and I put his fears to rest.
"No they did not rape me but as I fought one off he delivered a blow about my belly that left quite a nice scar" I explained.
Lancelot's eyes darkened in anger at the mere thought of someone daring to touch me but him and I inwardly smiled at seeing a bit of his jealous side.
"Let me see" he ordered gently. I shook my head. "Lancelot it matters not, main matter here is all is well. I have returned to you all" I remarked. He went to look himself but I stopped him as I gave him a stern look.
"Lancelot you and Arthur were my trainers in becoming a warrior. I used the tools you have taught me and fought him off yet I was wounded. Tis no different then what you do but do not dispair for I have defended myself all this time I have been away from you" I explained.
The way his muscles were twitching in his jaw was telling me that he was trying to keep control of his temper and I sighed for when it came to me his temper seemed to rear its ugly head. Lancelot looked over at Guinevere as she stirred and made it seemed that she wasn't listening to our conversation. I searched his face but he merely shut down as he rose.
"You need to rest, I shall be outside if you wish to speak to me" he explained as he turned before I could say another word and headed outside and got on top of his horse once more. I sighed, frustrated beyond all belief.
"It seems he loves you very much. He merely wishes to protect you Shirin" came Guinevere's comforting voice. I glared over at her.
"Guin you know as well as I that we are no damsels in distress. I am a knight for goodness sakes! He treats me a bit like a child at times!" I railed off. I seethed at his need to be so egotistical at times.
I heard Guinevere chuckle in amusement and I turned to look at her none the friendly. "What pray tell is so humorous?" I asked testly. She shrugged then settled as someone else came entering the carriage and I saw that it was Arthur. We merely gazed at one another and my eyes began to well up, much to my disgust, with tears.
He gazed at me with guilt racking eyes as he drank me in then he walked over to me and took me within his arms but I gladly went with a cry of happiness.
"Oh Arthur, my dear brother. What is this I see? Lines of age have begun to appear brother, what ally's you?" I wondered. He shook his head and gave me a bright smile.
"Nothing at the moment for I am rejoicing in the fact that my baby sister is alive and safe within my arms again" he remarked. I smiled through the tears then he smirked at me gently when he pulled to look at me.
"Seem's you have upset Lancelot" he remarked. I merely rolled my eyes as I ran a frustrated hand through my hair as I looked at him.
"Seem's I do that quite a bit to everyone" I remarked lightly. Arthur cupped my cheek and made me look at him while his eyes glistened with love.
"You have never been a burden nor a baggage. You are a true blessing to us all little one" he murmured as he cradled me gently within his arms.
"Do not take him as someone that treats you as a child, you know as well as I that Lancelot has always treated you as a equal. He cares deeply for you as I know you feel for him, feelings that run deeper then brother/sister ship" he continued teasingly.
I blushed as I meant not too but I gave him a smile none the less. I saw Arthur's gaze rest upon Guinevere's and I smiled seeing that Arthur finally perhaps found someone that he will be able to connect with. I saw him walk over to her but Guinevere gazed at him heatedly as he reached for her wrapped up hand and I realized that Lancelot must of mentioned about our hands to Arthur.
Making sure that I wasn't being watched I slipped over to the young boy who's name was Lucan and pressed my hand against his forehead to see how he was faring and saw that it had cooled down a bit much to my relief then grabbing a fur blanket that was close to his bed I wrapped it around me and settled myself at the opening of the carriage seeing the lightly fresh snow. I spotted Galahad who sat upon his horse next to Gawain, I gave a low whistle and the both turned and upon seeing me rode over.
"You are well I see but never had I imagined that you were so beautiful" remarked Galahad glantily. I smiled then I took his hand that he held out towards me.
"We've missed you little one, so much actually that I admit we were lost without you" he remarked gently. I never realized what kind of pain I had inflicted upon them that it made the guilt I already held raged even more.
Gawain must of sensed my dispair for he glanced straight in my eyes which was a tad bit difficult for his horse was quite feisty.
"This is not your fault little one. You were taken and had you means of returning would have" he remarked. I felt the tears well up again and I cursed myself for this mere sign of femininity that seemed to show up often.
I looked over at Lancelot who rode along side Bors and Dagonet and seeing the slump in his shoulders I knew that he was upset. I looked back towards Gawain and Galahad that gave me comforting smiles. I smiled back and rested against the pole as sleep seemed to overcome me and with thoughts of my knight I succumed myself to it.
A little while later I awokened at seeing Lancelot staring at the beautiful sight before him with his back towards me. I sighed at the sight myself for it never seized to amaze me.
"It's beautiful is it not?" I asked softly. He turned his head a bit at my voice but kept looking as he merely nodded then he turned to face me and I caught the trace of guilt, hurt, anger and even to my own surprise, love. He gave me a mild grin as he scoffed and his horse repeated his movement as well. I stared at him then glanced back towards the sight before me.
"This is heaven for me, upon being at the wall I loved watching this mere sight" I explained. Lancelot cocked his head to the side.
"I dont believe in heaven, I've been living in this hell but if your what heaven looks like then take me there" he remarked. I stared at him in surprise at his confession then turned away from his burning brown eyes but then I saw that it begun to rain much to my dispair. Lancelot held his hand up as he closed his eyes and let his head hang back as he let the rain wash over him then he looked at me once again.
"Rain and snow at once...a bad omen" he remarked mysteriously. I gazed at him with guilt lightening my eyes as I begged him to forgive me but then he nodded me over as he brought his horse by my side. I rose and gently with his help slid into the saddle within the warm cradle of his arms as I rested my head against his chest, hearing the pounding of his heart.
"I am not angry at you little one just angry over the pridicement you have been in. I wasn't there to protect you as much as you dont want to hear such a comment but tis true" he murmured passionately.
I closed my eyes as I let his warm voice wash over me but I caught the pain within them as I took his hand within my own and saw the scar that ran along the back of one but I heard his light chuckle.
"Recognize this do we?" he asked lightly in my ear. I merely nodded as I traced the scar with a heavy heart. I had inflicted that when I had thought it was a intruder coming into my tent one night and I took my dagger and ran it for a nice little slit on his hand until I realized that it was Lancelot's hand, I had wracked with guilt even till now but I understood how Lancelot had felt when he had inflicted his wound upon me.