Hey guys this story is being completely remastered so please give it another chance thank you.
Love you guys
-Peachy
His body heated with anger as he looked into the mirror of the men's room. He hated what stood before how, how he felt, himself...he'd never be worthy of her.
Every time she came out of the main life support with that hypnotizing smile on her face his heart fell to pieces, that beautiful smile wasn't for him and it never would be.
He lifted one three fingered hand tipped with talons and ran it over his injured mandible absentmindedly. She should've let him die, such destruction of his face, it's ghastly to Turians. He may never find a potential mate. Not that he was looking for one, or just anyone.
He grazed a talon over the scars that were visible from underneath the bandage, he let his mind wander. Every day; it's torture, to love someone so deeply, so much that it's almost physically impossible not to touch them, only to watch them fall in love with another, right in front of you. But he was happy for her, she deserved to have someone she loved.
He would always support her in any decision she made, that included her love life. But that doesn't mean he'd be happy about it. He knew she loved that man, but he wished it would've been him instead. Hadn't she caught on to his advances before? Maybe she had, but was disgusted.
His thoughts traveled deeper and into darker places, he found himself thinking back to Omega. Every time he closed his eyes their faces flooded his mind. It was his fault if only he wasn't so damn trusting! If only he hadn't fallen for Sidonis they would still be here! That gunship never would have caught him, and he never would have taken a missile to the face. Why did he deserve to live and they didn't?
Sleep in the past week was unthinkable. It was either nightmares or calibrations, so he went with the obvious choice; calibrations. His appetite was almost nonexistent, his ass was dragging on the ground and no one seemed to notice. It's not that he wanted someone to care, he just wanted HER to care.
His hand went down and griped the edge of the sink. He squeezed the metal as hard as he could, breaking off two of his talons. Tears began to stream down his face. They were dark blue, so different from hers, along with everything else about him. He felt something akin to anger coursed through him and smashed his head into the mirror. It shattered, glistening shards of glass fell all around him, clinking as they hit the floor.
"Gunnery Chief Vakarian I noticed a spike in your heart rate and a change in your normal body temperature, do you need me to call Dr. Chakwas?" EDI's blue avatar appeared next to him.
He jumped his heart pounding, "No EDI I'm fine thank you," he whispered gently to the Normandy's AI. She disappeared and he was once again surrounded by silence and alone with himself. He left the bathroom and quickly made his way over to the battery, at least there he could lock the doors.
"Garrus! You are bleeding are you injured?" He heard the well mannered and dual toned voice from behind him. He hadn't realized his fingers were bleeding. He turned to Thane and and couldn't bring himself to look into those warm, concerned eyes.
"No I'm good Thane I must of nicked myself on a sharp part of the sink," he said in his most casual flanging tone he could muster. Thane could only blink up at him with large questioning black eyes.
"Are you positive? Do you wish for me to contact the Doctor?" He said, a fleeting emotion swirling in his eyes. Garrus lowered his mandible in a smile and curled his hands into fists to hide his talon-less fingers.
"No really, I'm fine thank you though," he responded calmly though his heart was smacking his ribcage. He turned and continued up the three steps and down the catwalk to his station/hideout. He sealed the doors behind him, he leaned against them with a sigh. No wonder she loves Thane; He's sleek and elegant like her, with the most striking greens and yellows coloring his chiseled body.
Garrus shook his head in frustration; he on the other hand was all sharp angles, solid muscle, and hard carapace. His plates; a boring grey, the only visible colors where his blue eyes, blue colony tattoos and his visor. He wasn't soft to lay on. He was over 6'5 in height and his teeth sharper then her combat knife. He shook his head again and began his calibrations. He's a Turian and she's a human, why would she want him?
"Gunnery Chief Vakarian, your presence is requested in the hangar bay," EDI's metallic voice jolted him out of his calibration induced trance. He quickly put on his armor and hurried down. The elevator doors opened and he stopped short, him Thane and her, really? Was this some kind sick joke?
"Garrus!" He heard her yell too late, he was suddenly blinded by a bright light. He was blown backwards, his ears bled as they rang from the explosion. He tried to regain control of his breathing but failed, everything went black.
"...arrus!" Something was yelling and shaking him, he struggled to open his eyes. "Gar..rus!" Her face was coming into focus above him, she looked so beautiful. Red hair framing her petite face, big green eyes full of worry.
"Hey girl," he mumbled out. She rolled her eyes and held out her hand for him. He accepted her help and hoisted himself up.
"ETA 2 hours, good job guys!" Joker's voice crackled over their comms as they made their way to the roof for pick up. The air in the elevator car was becoming stuffy and Garrus was extremely uncomfortable. When the doors opened and he felt the relief of cool air against his face. The sun was setting, sending the most beautiful streaks of color across the Illium sky.
He turned to speak to Jane, her and Thane had their arms wrapped around each other. He began to feel as though he were intruding. He turned and walked away from them. He was close enough that he could just barely hear them, but far enough that he could let the sound of the wind fill his mind with thoughts.
He found his peace, the sound of the wind, the sunset, the fresh air. He had finally found a shred of peace, something he hadn't felt in two and half years. But of course if he didn't have bad luck he wouldn't have any at all.
"I love you," his head whipped back around his small shred of peace shattered.
"I love you to," her smile was brilliant, beautiful, and loving. It was so bittersweet, he was so happy for her but at the same time he wanted to cross that distance and rip Thane's throat out. Their lips touched in a loving kiss that he had to turn away from.
Pain surged through him with every beat of his shattered, ragged heart. He blinked rapidly to clear away the tears threatening to fall.
Where the hell was joker when you needed him.
He stared as his console silently; his blue eyes briefly flickering over to his rifle, it beckoned him to end his pain. His fingers where itching to hold it, to feel its weight in his grasp. He avoided the medbay on purpose, he definitely had some form of a concussion. His left eye was blurry where his bandage had blown off slightly.
He had been staring between his rifle and his console for he forgot how long. It was way past time for him to be asleep but he couldn't, he tried, you weren't supposed to sleep with a concussion anyway.
He couldn't wait to take on the collectors, hoping he wouldn't make it back, he had nothing waiting for him, no one. His father was an abusive bastard whom he had long since cut off all communications with. His sister hasn't spoken to him in years.
But if he did in fact make it back, he was going to find a nice quiet place with just him and the barrel of his rifle. He rested his forehead against the console, and eventually the cold metal lulled him into a fitful sleep
A loud thump woke him. He jerked upward and grabbed his rifle on instinct. Then he heard it again, but her beautiful voice accompanied it this time. "Garrus! Open the god damn door!"
Jane?
It sounded like she was far away, he didn't want to lose her anymore then he already had! He unsealed the door as fast as he could, only to immediately regret it. There she stood; fierce and absolutely beautiful. What remained of his heart fluttered painfully, she shimmered slightly.
"What the hell is going on Garrus! You had the door hacked so tightly EDI couldn't even get through it!" He looked away from her; shame surging through his body.
"I-I'm sorry Shepherd I didn't mean-" he began and she abruptly cut him off.
"No, I don't know what's wrong with you or what your god damn problem is but whatever got lodged up your ass you better un-lodge it!" She yelled at him "Until then don't speak to me, you know what? Better yet stay away from me!" She whirled around and stormed off to the life support.
He turned around shut the door and curled up in a ball in the corner, his eyes blown wide, he began to hyperventilate. He buried his face into his hands and shook.
He stood; hours later, his knees shook violently as he wobbled to his work table. He grabbed his pistol. He pressed its cold unforgiving metal underneath his chin. Then he quickly threw it back onto the table and backed away, he was a coward his father had that beaten into him. This just proved he was right.
The next two days passed in a blur. He hadn't left the battery once; not even to eat, everything had began to smell disgusting, only adding to the unbearable taste. He's been awake these passed two days; sitting in that corner...he was sick, and he knew it, perhaps it had been more then a concussion.
His need for water drove him out of his safe place and into the mess hall. He was very dizzy and had to hold on to the railing.
His vision was swimming and he felt as though his body was on fire, everything sounded like it was underwater. He stumbled and leaned back against the wall, black spots beginning to appear, obscuring his vision. He tried to focus on his breathing, but everything quickly went black.