A/N: It started out as a four lined note for a potential flashback if I ever needed one... in an hour and a half it had turned into this. I was never sure I wanted to post it, cus... you know.. writing and me... heh, but sifi told me to, so blame her for the good and the bad.

Also thanks for bothering to go threw it Sifi, minor editing that really does make such a difference in the flow.

Keeping together

"Sam, how many times have I told you to get your backpack up to your room!" John's voice hollered through the house as Dean and Sam stiffened in their seats in front of the tv where they were watching cartoons. "You come right here young man!"

A few seconds went by as the young brothers shared a look before Dean nodded and mimed 'it's okay' to his baby brother. He knew Sam would only get yelled at, this was the millionth time Sam had neglected to get that stupid backpack up to his room and it was bound to happen at some point that their dad would tumble over it while he was in one of his moods. Still he knew that Sam didn't always understand that their father was just frustrated and sometimes lashed out a bit more than necessary. Usually it was Dean who had to take some yelling, mostly because he was the eldest, he had the most responsibility both for the house and for his brother, and he knew how to act when his father snapped about something. Most times, whatever it was, was usually so unimportant that he rarely remembered what it was about at all.

The last few months Dean had noticed that John had been harsher towards Sam. Sam was getting older and even though he usually did as he was told, he had started to do them with a pouting mouth making it obvious that he didn't want to obey, and that wasn't something that went over well when their dad was in one of his crappy moods.

"Sam! How many times do I have to tell you?"

Dean leaned over the side of his chair and got a glance at his father and his little brother. Sam was trying to stare a hole through the floor while he shuffled his right foot slowly back and forth.

"Sam look at me while I'm talking to you boy!"

"Yes sir" Sam answered as he tried to raise his head proudly but there was obviously a scared boy inside the shell of his. He didn't want to show it though One of the first things he'd been taught was that he and Dean had to be strong. That was something that had been drilled into him for as long as he could remember, "no matter what happened they would always have to be strong... no matter what". Also Sam didn't want to back down. He was starting to get sick and tired of having to do so many things that not a single other kid in this country had to be doing at his age. He just wanted to be himself, Sam Winchester.

Dean could se the facade his little brother was putting on. Dude, what are you doing, can't you just do as your told Sam? Dean thought for himself while he frowned and continued to follow the dispute.

"Now take it upstairs young man, and I don't want to see it down here again, cus if I do you'll have to carry your books in your hands for the rest of the year."

Despite his pout, Sam's eyes showed a bit of hardness as he snatched the backpack out of his fathers' hands, turned himself away and started up the stairs. Which was an attitude John absolutely wasn't used to from his youngest child, and it was an attitude he sure as hell wasn't going to have under his roof.

"You hear me young man, I don't want to find that thing down here!"

"Yes SIR!" Sam raised his voice just a little bit, just enough to hint at a defiance yet to come as he stomped just a little bit harder on each step up the stairs.

"Chill why don't you," Sam mumbled. He wasn't even sure if it was something he wanted to say just to make a point or of it was just a bit of frustration that slipped through his lips giving sound to what he was thinking.

Dean could see his father's jaw clench as he overheard Sam's words.

"Sam!" John raised his voice as much as he could without yelling, "With that attitude you can stay in your room until bedtime!"

Sam didn't answer he just stepped up the stairs very loudly and slammed his door shut. John turned and walked into the living room where Dean was sitting. The only sound that broke the tension was Daffy Duck on TV. With big eyes Dean followed his father's movements throughout the room.

John walked back and forth. Rubbed his eyes with his hands and scratched his head before he stopped in the middle of the floor. He looked up at his eldest son. Dean had never given him any kind of attitude like this. Sure it wasn't always that he wanted to do what he was told, but he was just a kid, John did know that even though he gave them responsibilities that most other kids would never have. Still Sam was starting to get more resistant. He was starting to argue for the smaller things and he was getting more stubborn for every week, A little like father like son? John thought.

Dean and John's eyes shared a look, and it was almost like they had a whole conversation between them though not a word was spoken, not a sound was made.

After a few minutes of this, Dean gave a quick nod, slid off the chair and ran up the stairs.

John followed with his eyes as Dean disappeared upstairs then rubbed his eyes again. He let his hand slide over his face and rubbed his chin before he turned towards the TV and Daffy.

----

Upstairs Dean was standing still in front of Sam's door. He knocked twice followed by a third knock after a little break. It was his signature and Sam would know it was him.

"GO AWAY!" Sam yelled from behind the door. Dean knocked once more.

"GO AWAY DEAN!"

"You know I won't Sam you might as well just let me in now and save both of us a few minutes of our lives."

When Sam didn't say anything back Dean slowly opened the door and peeked in. The backpack was placed beside the bed and Sam was lying on top with his hands under his head looking up at the ceiling.

"You okay there runt?" Dean asked.

"Great!" Sam answered back not taking his eyes off the roof.

"Wanna talk?" Dean knew that it wasn't the fact that he'd gotten yelled at that caused Sam to become his pouting self but there was something else behind all of this, and even though Dean knew he probably couldn't help his little brother it might help just to have the talk. One thing was for sure and that was that this couldn't continue the way it was going.

"No!"

"Okay then..." Dean looked around the room trying to come up with something smart. "Can I join you on the bed then?"

"Sure, do whatever Dean!"

Dean rolled his eyes at how Sam really made an effort not to cooperate with him. He moved towards the bed and jumped on, landing besides his brother who moved a little bit over.

For almost five minutes the boys just steered at the ceiling. Those minutes seemed like hours 'cause there was absolutely nothing to keep their eyes focused on.

"Why does he have to get like this Dean?" Sam had broken the silence just as Dean had hoped he would.

"Like what?"

"The way he is... the way he makes us live our life... ?"

"You know why Sam... He has to hunt!"

"I know that" Sam sighed. "But a backpack... he freaked out over a backpack Dean... what's up with that!"

"It's not the backpack Sam."

"What do you mean? It was the backpack Dean?" Sam looked over at his brother.

"No... I mean... Yeah it was the backpack that he snapped at you for, but that wasn't what was wrong." Dean tired to find and explanation.

"I don't understand" Sam frowned.

"Well... you know how he is gone for days doing 'work', right?"

"Yeah..." Sam dragged the word out.

"Well it wears him out, cus it's really hard work, and then we don't make it easy for him either making him take care of whatever mess we manage to get ourselves into while he is away. And he rarely gets any time to come home and relax before he has to go out and work again."

"But..." Sam gave Dean's words time to sink in before he continued. "But... you know... why can't we just... " Sam stopped.

"...just what Sam?"

"Normal... why can't we just have normal, like other kids? I want to play soccer and have dad there to tell me I did good, not a dad who go out hunting and gets mad cause of a stupid backpack!" Sam sounded frustrated.

"Sam... This is normal." Dean looked over at his brother and met his eyes. "This is normal for US!"

After a short silence Dean continued. "We do have good times as well you know!?"

"Yeah right!" Sam almost let a sarcastic laugh out. Dean didn't blame him, the good parts were far apart and for every year they seemed to become even rarer.

"You know... when you were a baby dad used to bring me to the park..." Dean started.

"Right? Dad?" Sam said disbelieving.

"No it's true... Mom would stay home with you, and me and dad would go to the park and just... hang out..."

"Really?"

"Yup... and you remember when he drove us an hour and a half just to show us this ice cream place he loved?"

"Yeah... that was actually fun..." Sam said easing up a bit.

"You see... we have normal and good times."

"But... that was ages ago Dean... now it's always, 'I'm giving you an order'...do this, do that, behave, clean up, eat your food, go to bed... blah blah blah," Sam motioned something with his hands to show that whatever he got told to do it was too much.

Dean started to snicker.

"What?"

"You know this is more or less whatever any kid in the world is getting told by their dad right? How much more normal can you ask for?" Dean smiled, but Sam didn't see the humor.

"Dean, come on! I don't want my dad to snap at me for the slightest thing, and I don't want to take orders! I don't like it!"

"I don't always like it either Sam but this is how we live..." Dean was starting to worry a bit about Sam's determination of not wanting to take orders.

"But..."

"No butts Sam... I don't want to see you and dad go at each other just cause you're being a stubborn little kid!"

----

For a while John had been standing outside Sam's room overhearing the conversation. He knew Dean had a point. If Sam was becoming stubborn and reluctant at this age how would things be when he became a teenager. And if his youngest had inherited his own stubbornness he knew that it was most likely going to be impossible to make his youngest take orders the way Dean always seemed to. This was both a good thing and a bad thing. He wanted his son to do what he wanted to do... only thing was that he wanted Sam to want the same thing that he wanted.

----

Two knocks sounded on the wall and John stepped through the doorway toward his two sons. Both boys jumped up into a sitting position in the bed, Dean meeting his fathers now gentle eyes but Sam only looked into his bed sheets.

"Boys..." John said in a soft voice and tilted his head just a bit to the right. "Sam...?"

Slowly Sam lifted up his head to face his father.

"I'm sorry," The rare words that slipped through John Winchesters lips almost seemed foreign to the young boys and they both shot their eyes open wondering if they actually heard what they did.

"I'm sorry I lashed out at you Sammy... I didn't mean to," John tried to smile hoping it might infect his sons to smile back. "I was upset and this thing just made me snap and I took it out on you Sammy, and I shouldn't have."

"No..." Sam interrupted. "It was my fault... I should have taken it upstairs..." he admitted.

John just nodded and smiled.

"Can I join you boys in the bed there?"

"Sure!" Dean jumped out to give his father a place in the middle letting Sam sit on one side and himself on the other.

"I overheard what you boys said you know," John started as he grabbed a hold of both his sons on each side of him pulling 'em all into a little huddle. "How about we do something special this weekend boys... just the three of us, no hunting, no nothings... just hang out like a family!"

Sam looked up with his big brown eyes. "Really dad?" He couldn't remember the last time they spent the whole weekend together. "Can we go to the park... like you and Dean used to do?" Sam leaned over to look at his older brother who just grinned back at him.

"Sure... you guys decide..."

For a moment they just sat there... enjoying each others company. Dean knew that in a few days things would be the same old. Their father would be on a new hunt and they would be left alone yet again, leaving him to cope with his brother and school and the house. He also knew that this time their father managed to hold their family together but deep inside of him he feared that somewhere in the future there would be a point where the two most stubborn people in the world might end up going separate ways, which also would leave him in the middle, and maybe even tear him apart. He knew these weren't the kinds of things a kid should think about but Dean had become accustomed to trying to calculate what his and his family's future might become like for every little thing that happened. Still... this time he just wanted to enjoy the little part of normal their father brought them. Even if it would just be for a few days it was still... normal.

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Thanks for taking the time to read...

CatBeist