Title: Five Words

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the late great Jonathan Larson does… I rent!
Rating: PG-15, for Mark's mouth.
Pairing: Mark/Roger
Summary: Set right before Roger leaves for Santa Fe, with the situation that Mark and Roger already have a relationship. Mark's POV. Mark tries to keep Roger from leaving, in four words. Roger replies in one.
Warning/s: SLASH, meaning homosexual relationships. Don't like, don't read, don't say I didn't warn you.

A/N: This is my first RENT fic, so please be patient! I was so sure that something was going on when I heard the lyrics of "Goodbye Love" by the Original Broadway Cast. Roger and Mark had a rather heated argument, and it was so clear that Mark didn't want to Roger to leave. Taking that idea, and combining it with a ficlet idea I had years ago but had no fandom to put it in, the result was this fic.

Okay, enough rambling. Here goes!

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

You left. I tried to stop you. I asked you to in four words. You replied in one. A conversation of five words, spoken in a moment of desperation. A conversation that rendered me numb and broken.

How the hell did it come to this? Things were already turning out fine. But fate – screw this goddamn fate! – stepped in. And now, Angel is dead. Collins is heartbroken. Joanne and Maureen fought each other and tried to break up, again. Mimi went back to Benny.

And you left.

How could you do this, Roger? Yes, we all know that Santa Fe is beautiful and warm, so much more than freezing Alphabet City could ever be. But we need you here; I need you here. You promised me that you would never leave me alone, that you would stay by my side. You made these promises long before, when you told me you loved me. Before you came to love Mimi.

I could never hate her for that, however. After all, she made you happy. I could never deny you that. Even if I was nothing to you anymore. People accuse me of being a peacemaker, almost a doormat type, and they're right; I can't – I won't – allow my trampled emotions to get in the way of your happiness.

But you can't just leave me. You've already pushed me away when I tried to convince you to stay; cursing me and accusing me, throwing my loneliness right back at my face. Loneliness that you had once sworn to take away. But I don't fucking care anymore. I don't give a damn if you choose to love Mimi over me. But please, just stay. If not for your friends, if not for your song, if not for Mimi… for me.

In my desperation and my great fear of losing you, my emotions burst through their boundaries at last, in a single cry, a single question. I asked you four words. Your reply held but one. But one was enough.

Five words from me, one from you, and then you turned away and went out the door. Did you do it so you wouldn't have to see the expression on my face? I am so sure that my feelings were clearly painted across it. I could not see your own, but the brief glimpse of indifference I received before you turned away told me more than enough.

Maybe this would be the last time I would ever see you. Maybe it was finally over, in so fast and so rough a way. In four words. In one reply.

The filmmaker's eyes, sad and blue as the velvet night, fill with bitter tears, and his heart silently shatters and bleeds, seen by none but the shadows dancing mockingly on the walls of the loft.

"Do you love me?"

"No."