Broken
Chapter 1
As Clarke stood there silent and still gazing into the distance, she felt a chill radiate through her body. Closing her eyes and freeing her mind, concentrating on nothing else she took a slow deep breath, listening to the wind whistle and the tree's blowing like windchimes playing soft music. The air smelt so sweet that she almost forgot to exhale, a gasp escapes her mouth bringing her back to reality. Tears began to fill her eyes as pain and guilt washed over her. She couldn't allow herself to enjoy this small simple pleasure, not after the choices she's made and the things she's done. Clarke gave herself a hard shake and pushed on faward.
The gate to Indra's village lay just up ahead and that is where she intended to go, that is were she needed to go! As she began to head in that direction Clarke couldn't help but notice just how beautiful the trees around her were. Rays of sunshine trickled over and through there branches like devine essence falling from the heavens. Everything looked so green and alive.
It occurred to her that since landing on earth she had never really before now had time to notice or appreciate all the beauty and mystery that surrounds her. Lost in thought Clarke began to wonder just what else could be out there waiting to be discovered.
" What are you doing here Clarke of the sky people? You have no right to be here, " a voice boomed.
Startled Clarke snapped to attention only to see Indra's cold stern face staring back at her.
" I am here to see your commander. I will not leave until I have done so, " Clarke replied making sure as to keep her voice calm and steady.
The tree cru seemed to respect courage over all else, and after everything that has happened Clarke wanted to demand that respect, their respect. She would show no fear, they really didn't deserve the satisfaction of it anyway if she was being honest. Not sure how to respond Indra paused for a moment staring the blonde girl up and down. Sure the battle with mount weather was now over but the alliance with the sky people was also broken, unfortunately no one seemed to know what this meant for either side of the clans. Do we have peace or do we fight? These questions whizzed through Indra's mind like debris caught inside a hurricane. After a few moments had passed her face softened slightly and said,
" Very well follow me, I shall see if the commander will grant you an audience. "
As they walked up to the monster iron gates guarding Indra's village, or what's left of it, Clarke felt a pit twist and knot inside her stomach. Everyone in the camp seemed to cease what they were doing and glared at the pair as they passed by. Clarke couldn't help but feel slightly anxious following Indra through the grey misty rubbled camp plagued by guilt and shame.
Indra spun round when they approached the commander's tent and firmly demanded,
" Wait here, " before entering.
Panic ensued Clarke like lighting in a storm, was this actually happening, was she really ready to face her. HER betrayal and deceit still so fresh in my mind. Although I understood why she did what she did, I just don't know if I can ever forgive it. Maybe coming here was a mistake. What if Lexa refuses to see me or her people try to kill me, not that it would be the first time.
I sighed at the possibility of more war and would do anything to prevent it but I definitely wasn't going to be nieve either.
She would be prepared.
Part of Clarke wanted to run, to escape from everything and everyone around her, but another part of Clarke felt drawn to this moment hungrily awaiting its anticipation. It in a sense felt overpowering like two magnets being pulled together, she didn't really understand why exactly but she also knew there was no other alternative. This was for her people and their safety. Nothing could be more important than that.
Clarke pulled away from her thoughts as she seen Indra exit the commanders tent.
" Heda will see you now, " Indra said with a quizzical tone in her voice.
Clarke nodded but for a few minutes found herself rooted to the spot she was standing on. Her mind was telling her to move but the command's weren't responding with the rest of her body. Finally as she took a deep breath they started to co - inside and she pushed on faward.
Entering into Lexa's tent was warm and bright. Candles lit up the whole room that sent a familiar warmth seep into Clarkes body.
Lexa sat on her throne looking intently at the girl standing before her. With so many questions storming around inside her head she found herself unable to speak. Not quite sure how to proceed, Lexa thought it best to let Clarke address her first.
" Commander, " Clarke said evenly.
" Clarke, " Lexa replied.
Standing there trying to search Lexa's face for some type of emotion, Clarke felt a battle of wills explode from within. So many emotions swarmed together strenuously leaving nothing but turmoil in its wake.
I hate you - am glad your okay,
You betrayed me - I understand,
You offered up your heart - then broke my own,
I forgive you - no I don't,
I'm drowning - save me,
" I have come to discuss the possibility of a new alliance between both our people. I am here to ensure my peoples safety and wellbeing. Without us you would never have gotten your people back from the mountain. All we ask is to live in peace without bloodshed. Hopefully we can come to some kind of agreement.
" I don't see why not. I have already ordered my people to stay away from that part of our land, as long as your people respect our boundaries they may live in peace without any interference from us. "
Silence cut through the air whilst emptiness overwhelms.
" Clarke, " Lexa began gently as she stood up and stepped closer to the girl, misty eyes in clear view for all to see.
" Don't even go there Lexa, " Clarke cautioned guardedly cutting her of mid stream.
" Well thank you for your time commander, if that is all I must be on my way. Goodbye! "
As Clarke turned and proceeded to exit the tent, she suddenly felt herself being jolted backwards. Lexa's face - those captivating feature's inches from her own, emerald eyes, those tender lips, a heat roared from within Clarkes heart in a desperate need of escape.
" Clarke wait please, what happened, are you okay? Talk to me. "
Floods of different emotions flew around like a balloon loosing air, Clarke could slowly feel her sanity disappearing, seething from every inch of her being at this point she snapped.
" What happened, am I okay, are you fucking serious right now? Well let me fill you in shall I! They're dead all of them, the innocent and the guilty along with they're legacy, they are nothing more than a stain in history. I had to let them all burn in order to save my people, ironically enough, so don't you worry, you and your people are safe. Oh and eh me and MY PEOPLE are fine thanks for asking! "
" Clarke please, " Lexa replied. I did what I had to, as commander it is my job to protect my people, eliminate danger that threatens them as best I can and put there needs above my own. They had already captured my people and yours before we got the doors open, if I didn't accept the deal and retreat all of our people trapped inside would have been killed. I am truly sorry I had to hurt you like this but as I have said before, I made the decision to lead with my head and not my heart or surely I would have chosen you. "
" God you still don't get it do you. How can you stand there and declair how you feel about me as a way to justify your actions. You knew they wouldn't have just stopped with the remaining 44 trapped inside, they would have killed all of my people, me included. On a basic human level you could have chosen to do the right thing and not let hundreds of innocents die. Instead you somehow thought it better to save the enemy and condemn us and for what, we both know it wouldn't have ended there, you were only ever ending the threat temporarily and you know it. "
" How is what I did any different to what you did. So essentially you are saying that you didn't mind if my people were sacrificed if it meant yours could be saved. My people have been at the mercy of that mountain since the war, they drained our blood, caged us like animal's and turned us into monsters. We have lost thousands and yet you seem to think that your lives are more important than their's. I didn't make you do anything Clarke and I could swing it right back at you. You made the choice to kill all those people even though you knew there were innocents, not me! You did this because it was the only way to save your people just as I did, " Lexa growled uncontrollably.
Softening her gaze she added,
" As for my feelings for you, I am in love with you Clarke of the sky people. I did not take the decision I made lightly and you are the last person I would ever want to sacrifice. I just hope one day you will be able to understand the choice I made but also allow yourself to heal from the pain that burdens you. "
Clarkes face crumbled as tears spilled down her pale ivory cheeks. Sorrow overwhelmed her as she asked,
" How do I do that, I don't know how to let go and move on? "
Lexa hated to see the girl she loved so broken. Taking clarke's face tenderly in her hands, staring longingly into those deep blue eyes, she whispered,
" By letting those around you help. Stay here tonight, it'll be nightfall soon and not safe for you to walk back to your camp. "
Clarke nodded in surrender and sobbed,
" Will you stay with me. "
" Always, " Lexa vowed. Leading Clarke towards the bed she said,
" Come sky princess, you should rest now. "
Pulling her in close, holding on tightly, she kissed her forehead and whispered,
" Good night princess. "
Clarke wrapped herself around lexa, snuggled in close for comfort and replied,
Good night commander, sweetdreams. "
For the first time in a long time, in a moment of pure serenity both girls were falling into a deep slumber wrapped in each others embrace.
First fanfiction lol, its been up on wattpad for 3 weeks now so thought ad put it on here as well, hopefully you don't find it to bad to read lol, will be updating more chapters as they're finished. :)