Disclaimer: FMA belongs to the amazing Hiromu Arakawa (who I am not), and Blank Space does not belong to me. This is only a parody of the song, written for non-profit purposes.
A/N: Happy New Year, everybody! This one line from Blank Space convinced me I had to make an FMA Parody for it – "You're the king, baby, I'm your queen." And then this story formed around that parody. Try singing along with it if you want; some lines may not align perfectly, but I guess you can blame that on Riza's drunken state?
Shoot Them Down
"I bet you that you can't do it."
"Oh yeah!" Seeing a drunken Riza Hawkeye was amusing. It was a rare occasion, and Riza had only got drunk this time because it was New Year celebrations and everybody coaxed her.
"Yeah, I bet seven hundred cenz. Any song you want."
"You're on! Don't come crying when I win."
As Riza walked away, Roy explained their deal to Edward and Winry, who shook their heads but allowed Riza to take a song. The New Year party was headed by the two, along with Alphonse, and they had invited nearly everybody they knew. Barely months had passed since the Promised Day, and they had hoped a celebration might greatly increase the spirits of the people.
Riza stumbled onto the stage, looking through the songs they had and selecting the one that sounded the best to her. Taking the microphone, she started singing as the first verses of the song began.
Nice to meet you, what's your name?
I'm Riza Hawkeye, and I'm your age
Fire, madness, research, death
Saw you here and I thought
Oh my God, you are that child
Can you handle Flame Alchemy?
Protect us all from this threat
x
White cloak, ignition gloves
I can read you like a magazine
Ain't it sad, all these deaths
And we can't do anything now
So hey, work side-by-side
I'll do my best to help this world
Grab your gloves, stay with me
I can kill the bad guys with just my guns
x
This war goes on forever
Ishvalans drop so fast
You can tell me when it's over
If the orders were worth the pain
Got a long list of officers
They're gonna tear you down
'Cause you're a smart alchemist
And you've got the flames
x
'Cause Ed's young and he's reckless
He'll be a State Alchemist
He'll leave you smirking
Or with an angry mood
Got a long list of the people
Who wanna kill you now
But I've got your back, colonel
And I'll shoot them down
x
Burning flesh, deep darkness
I'll stop you if you stray too far
Flying bullets, truths and lies
You're the King, sir, I'm your Queen
Do what you always do
Keep reaching for that dream
Wait, the worst is yet to come, oh no
x
Screaming, dying, inner plots
We can make all the tables turn
Homunculus all around
Keep you second guessing like
"Even Bradley's part of this?"
You get filled with fury
But I'll never leave your side
'Cause, colonel, I'll walk in hell along with you
x
This war goes on forever
Everything is down in flames
You can tell me when it's over
If the orders were worth the pain
Got a long list of officers
They're gonna tear you down
'Cause you're a smart alchemist
And you've got the flames
x
'Cause they're strong and powerful
They'll split the unit now
They'll leave you lonely
Or just broken down
Got a long list of officers
They're want to tear you down
But I've got your back, colonel
And I'll shoot them down
x
They only want to kill for the power
Won't stop no matter what, whatever happens
They only want to kill for the power
Won't stop no matter what, whatever happens
x
This war goes on forever
Everything is down in flames
You can tell me when it's over
If the orders were worth the pain
Got a long list of officers
They're gonna tear you down
'Cause you are a smart alchemist
And you've got the flames
x
'Cause they're strong and powerful
They'll split the unit now
They'll leave you lonely
Or just broken down
Got a long list of officers
They're gonna tear you down
But I've got your back, colonel
And I'll shoot them down
Raucous applause greeted Riza as she finished, taking out her gun in a flourish and pointing it straight forward, finger on the trigger. Thankfully, she didn't shoot anyone.
Roy let out a breath he was holding. When Riza started singing, Roy got this horrible fear that she would start singing about the tattoo on her back, but luckily she stopped at the line of Flame Alchemy. That was easy enough to explain; after the Promised Day, almost everybody knew Roy and Riza had been childhood friends. It was in the way they had fought together, as if they had known each other all their lives, as if they were the halves of each others' souls.
He watched as Riza came to him, one hand on her hip and her other one outstretched. "Sir?"
Without a moment of hesitation, Roy handed over seven hundred cenz.
Riza gave a wide smile and walked away, and then paused, looking back and speaking with pride, "Don't you dare try to dare me again."
Roy looked at his team who was standing right next to him, snickering at what had just happened. "Worth. Every. Cenz."
"That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard," Edward said, shaking his head. "As close as we can get to an 'I love you' for those two."
"Brother!" Alphonse warned, looking around to make sure nobody had heard it. To even insinuate a romantic relationship between the two was dangerous, especially when surrounded by military personnel along with civilians.
"If you're judging quality, you don't have any room to talk. What was it you sang? 'When can we transmute again?' Seriously, alchemy freak?" Winry said, watching embarrassment creep on Edward's face.
"Shut up, gear head," he replied without any heat. "At least I did something, unlike you."
Alphonse tuned out the argument he knew was coming, instead looking at Lieutenant Hawkeye, who was engaged in an intense conversation with Rebecca Catalina.
He wondered when the Lieutenant and the Colonel were going to marry. This year, he hoped. Then Alphonse could win the jackpot prize in the longstanding bet of the military.
A/N: I tried to put a story in here; you can judge how successful I was. (looks at the clock) Three hours and forty minutes to 2017 here. Again, happy New Year, everybody!