I was a little inspired this weekend (OK! I was bored) so I decided to write this little one-shot. Hope you enjoy, it's what if Rachel said no to Finn's proposal. Though, I promise, I'm a big stickler for happy endings!
Stuff to note: Up to the episode "Yes/No." Rated T. Drama, but with a little tidbits of romance. Some angst (sorry, I can never seem to get away from that).
Disclaimer: I own nothing - no Glee, no Ryan Murphy, no Finn…, no Rachel, nuttin!
Finn's stomach dropped, his world stopped, and he could barely breathe as he heard the word come out of Rachel's mouth. Only a couple of days ago, his once-stable world had come crashing down upon him as he finally learned the truth about his father, a fact that his mother had been hiding from him for so many years. It angered him greatly, never realizing that he could feel such heightened emotions like this with his mother, but, even worse, was the deep pain that was tearing inside of him. Pain of learning whom his father actually was.
He was a nothing! Finn had realized angrily, wanting to tear his hair, the same shade of Christopher Hudson's, off his head and rip his eyes out, the exact cinnamon color. His whole life he had looked up to his father as being a hero, someone that he could try to become and compare himself to one day. But he wasn't a hero, he barely deserved to be called a soldier - he killed himself, he took the easy way out so he wouldn't have to deal with his pain, his wife, his son.
And Finn hated him for that, how dare his father, someone he couldn't even remember, hold this much sway over his life. He almost wrote his life away to prove something to that piece of crap, and this is what he got in return - a horrible truth that Christopher Hudson was nothing better than his son…a Lima Loser. Finn had thought he had it all understood for once, that he had a plan, but it was only a lie.
It was like someone had blown up his house and all his stuff, he was lost. Nothing seemed to shine or look bright anymore; all clouded by a layer of distrust and betrayal. He had been so deep into his melancholy that he hadn't realized the single thing that stood out among the darkness, a single, beaming point that entranced him with its beauty and brightness. It was a way out, a new future that he could strive for and try to forget his ugly past in.
It was Rachel Berry and her voice.
Hearing her sing that beautiful melody for him, putting every single emotion that she felt for him onto the table, he couldn't help but to feel amazed. There was no bitterness in her eyes or lies lurking below, only her love that echoed along the choir room's wall. Finn could trust her, he realized in that instant, no matter what, he would always find a friend in Rachel. But he didn't just want to be Rachel's friend, he loved her - he wanted to be with her.
So, he did the only thing that he could; he asked her to marry him. It had seemed so simple, so easy. All he had to do was buy a ring, ask her, and for her to say yes. It would be done with and he could start rebuilding the shambles of his broken life…but he had never expected for this to happen.
For her to say no.
He gaped at her, his eyes darting across her face as he looked for any sign that she was joking, that she was going to beam at him, throw her arms around his neck, and scream, "Just kidding! Of course, I'll marry you, Finn!"
But that didn't happen, instead he was only meet with a pained expression on Rachel's face as she leaned over and closed the small box, hiding the ring from sight. Her eyes were filled with tears, but none spilled down her face as she repeated softly, the words small in the giant auditorium. "I'm sorry, but I can't."
Finally able to speak, he couldn't help but to ask with emotion clogging his throat, "But…why?"
Rachel stood up and walked away from him a couple of steps, breathing heavily as she crossed her arms around her petite form. "Because, Finn…we're still in high school and neither of us have any advanced education, how would we be able to support ourselves?"
Finn stood up, his jaw clenching as he advanced upon her, but she turned around, her long hair whipping around her face, and she glared at him. He stopped, but he only raised an eyebrow, unbelieving. "I don't believe all that. There are plenty of people who get married in high school and do okay, and I have some money saved up from working at Burt's shop - it's not much but it would be enough until we found some way to pay the bills." He looked at her critically, noticing the way that she wouldn't meet him directly in the eyes. "It's none of those things, is it?"
His words came out softly and hurt, making Rachel look away again; her face filled with guilt and something else, something that he couldn't read. Finn felt his body tremble, not understanding why she would say no then. They loved each other, why did it have to be more complicated than that? "Tell me, please, why?"
"Because…of so many different things!" Rachel suddenly screamed, eyes burning with emotions as she stomped around the stage, wringing her hands. "Marriage seems so adult and mature, and we're only kids, Finn. I don't even know how to fill the gas in my car, how am I supposed to be married? A-And what would our parents think if we got married now? I don't think Burt would be okay with it, and neither would my two dads, so where would we live? How would we pay rent, food, gas? Did you think of any of that?"
Finn didn't make a comment as he felt his face blush, he really hadn't. He was never one of those guys that sat there and thought about something for a long time before they made a move; he always liked to act on whim - like telling Rachel she was still beautiful even though his girlfriend at the time was sitting right next to him, losing his virginity with Santana, and, of course, kissing the girl of his dreams in New York and making New Directions lose because of it. Some of his ideas certainly didn't go as he planned, but he knew that he loved Rachel Berry and he couldn't imagine his life with anyone but her.
Rachel didn't allow him speak as she continued her rant, eyes exploding with hostile tears as she went over to the microphone and hit the stand, knocking it over. The action surprised him - usually it was Finn who broke something in his ire, but Rachel looked completely besides herself. Her usual composure was gone and her hair seemed to move like a snake as she whipped her head as she spoke. "And what about NYADA and going to New York? I said I would be moving there, Finn, and you know it, too! So, what happens if we get married? Do you follow me to New York, even though I know, in your heart, you are still attached to little Lima. It would be difficult for you to leave here, especially your mother and all your friends, and I couldn't bear to be the one to make you make that choice."
"Rach, Lima does mean something to mean, but you mean something way more," Finn protested, trying to bring her in close but she twirled away and shot him daggers with her chocolate eyes. "I promise it."
Unexpectedly, Rachel threw her head back and gave a hollow laugh. "You promise? How am I supposed to know that you will follow through with this one?" That made Finn flinch back and wince, her words digging deep into his chest. He had screwed things up with Rachel more times than he could count and he still felt guilty for it, but he knew that this was one promise he could keep.
"Honestly, Rach, I have no idea," his voice was low, but he meet her eyes - cinnamon upon chocolate - and tried to show all his caring for her in that contact, trying to make her understand how he felt. "But I am not going to make those same mistakes again, I learned from them and, even though it took awhile, I realize what I did wrong. I broke your trust, Rach, countless times and I shattered you. It was stupid of me and if I could go back and change them all, I would."
Her face softened slightly at his words and he couldn't help but give her a crooked grin and say softly, echoing the same words he said so many months ago. "Take a chance on me…"
Those were the wrong words as he saw the anger snap back into place, and she stomped her foot in disbelief. "Oh, take a chance? I don't like chances, Finn, they only cause pain and there is never no certainty of winning - something I like to do!" She pointed a finger at the ring's box, eyes accusing. "What makes that anything more than a chance, what makes it a win?"
Finn looked down at the box and smiled slightly before looking up, a new light appearing in the intense depths of his eyes. "Because we would be together, Rach." He took a breath before holding the box out again, opening the lid as he did. "The best times of my life were when you were on my arm, when I knew that you sat beside me and held my hand. That I had someone close to me, someone who meant as much to me as I meant for them.
"Rachel, do you know why I really want to marry you?" He asked, but he didn't allow her to answer as he continued. "It's not just because I love you, but it's because I know that I will always be able to confide in you, trust you with my secrets, help me when I am down, and love me. Everything seems to be breaking around me, everything that I hoped for in my life - it is always being snatched away. I-I can't allow you to be taken away from me too, so, please, Rach."
Tears were streaming down his face now, but he didn't care. If he couldn't cry in front of the single person in the world who meant the most to him, than who the hell could he cry in front of, it certainly wasn't his family anymore. Rachel's ire slowly broke down in front of him as she took small steps forward, her eyes upon his the whole while. A connection grew between them, the same tether that Finn constantly felt when he was in her presence, but he knew now that Rachel felt it, too. It was upon her face as she stopped in front of him and looked down upon the ring, simple but sparkling in the lights that shone overhead.
"Marriage?" Rachel asked weakly, but there was a small smile gracing her features as she did. He nodded his head, trying not to smile too widely as he felt his stomach flutter in nervous excitement. Finally, after what seemed like a moment, she muttered, "I'm going to allow you to ask me to marry you again, now."
"Okay," Finn laughed, dropping to one knee as he held up the piece of his heart, the metaphor of every single shred of love in his body that he had for her. "Rachel Berry, would you do me the honor of being my wife? So, I could love you and call you mine forever?"
Rachel let out a sob. "You always had me, Finn. Of course, I'll marry you." As he helped her slither the ring onto her slim finger, he couldn't help but to notice one of the lights above him brighten. Letting the light surround him and Rachel as he brought her in close and kissed her upon the lips, tasting the soft delicacies of her flesh, he couldn't help but to smile crookedly.
Rachel had said yes, and that was all that mattered to him.
Sorry it wasn't the best, I'm not so hot with one-shots. I don't want to put too much details in or I'll soon have a book in front of me, so I tried to keep it short, but I always feel like I'm missing some major points. Oh well, hope you enjoyed and will give me your opinions; I like reviews! If you liked this, then go check out my other stories - they flow a little better because they are actual stories, not one-shots. I promise to work on them in the future. Sorry, rambling! Hope you are all having an awesome day!