Adrien couldn't feel his face, or anything really. He had gone numb sometime the day before and hadn't felt anything since. He tried to feel the warm rays of the sun on his skin but found that he simply felt colder.

He couldn't stop thinking about it. He knew he was bad luck but no one in the history of Chat Noirs had messed up as astronomically as he had. The events played before him no matter what he did.

/-/-/

Ladybug and Chat Noir were patrolling by the Paris rooftops as they usually did when Ladybug suddenly stopped after he said "I'd do anything to protect you my Lady." and threw her a wink. She had stopped her throw midway and starred at him with something close to being fear. He noticed that his lady wasn't by his side after his leap and turned to her with question.

"Chat, promise me you won't." She claimed, loud enough for him to hear across the way and on the rooftop he stood on. He frowned as her words reached him. "Won't what?" He asked.

She held onto her yoyo with shaking fingers, with a rare mix of anger and panic. "Promise me you won't put your life in danger to protect mine."

He hadn't caught onto the tremor in her voice. "I won't my lady."

He meant what he said but he knew that if push came to shove he wouldn't be able to stop himself. To put his body in the way to protect his Ladybug was something he did on instinct, but she didn't know that and his answer seemed to calm her as she vaulted over the street and onto the rooftop where he stood, just a few feet away from him.

"Chat... there's something i need to tell you."

But she never could tell him. Because at that moment an akuma appeared. With a background of explosions and screams, they both sprung into action.

The akuma was dressed in a large blue bell-typed dress with dentelle stitched upon the edges of fabric. She had large white ribbons on her hips and had intricate details all along the bodice of the dress. It would have been a beautiful dress had it not been for the visible gash going down the centre with various needles attached by thread hovering dangerously behind her back like feathers on a pair of wings.

From what the akuma was yelling they pieced her motives quite easily.

She was a seamstress that was ridiculed for her work on a student's graduation robes and her anger was so potent (or perhaps even Hawkmoth's) that she just wanted to see people suffer. The long needles that stemmed from her threaded wings tips shot outwards and aimed for the heart of whoever was her target.

There had been a handful of victims already by the time Ladybug and Chat Noir arrived at the scene.

It was as they feared: Hawkmoth's akumas grew stronger with every passing day, with every frustrating defeat, and people were starting to pay for it.

Chat heard Ladybug gasp as her eyes fell onto the akuma, like she knew who she was. She even muttered something resembling "not again" under her breath before they both sprung forwards, deflecting. The heart seeking needles.

They fought as hard as and strong as they could, abiding their time before Ladybug would tell him to use his cataclysm as she tossed her yoyo in the air and called forth the lucky charm. Before she could form a plan though, the akuma unleashed a flurry of needles towards Ladybug who was now holding a lasso, dotted with black spots.

"Ladybug!" He called out in warning. He knew she wouldn't be able to deflect them on time, her hands were full with the Lucky Charm, he knew she would get hit. Before he was even aware of what he was doing his legs pushed him forwards and the needles sought him out instead.

He knew he was going back on his promise but he also knew that his Lady needed to be saved, and he'd do anything for his Lady.

But the needles never pierced him, he was pushed out of the way.

"No!" He pivoted quickly on his heel to see Ladybug pinned down to the ground with a needle going through her waist, a red substance seeping into her suit in darker tones. Her eyes were open wide, her blue irises large and surprised.

Chat gripped his staff harder and turned to the akuma, deflecting the next array of needles.

The following fight had been horrendous. Ladybug was physically pinned down, her blood was seeping out by the minute and her miraculous was beeping. Only her wit and smarts managed to pull them out of the fight alive as she used Chat Noir to lasso the akumatized person and he rushed to bring her the butterfly. She purified it as quick as she could and then collapsed as the miraculous cure made everything go back to normal...

Well almost all.

The needles disappeared but not the injuries, in fact the disappearance of the needles worsened every victim's condition, including his Lady's. He didn't know what his legs were doing but she didn't protest when he scooped her up and started dashing across the rooftops with his Lady safely cradled in his arms.

"Chat..." She shivered, grabbing onto his shoulders with a relatively loose hold. His heart broke as her voice wavered, he tried to keep his eyes ahead but his peripheral vision caught the red on her lips which only pushed him to go faster.

The faster he ran the more they realized just how many victims the akuma had made. Every time he looked down he saw yet another victim clutching at their heart as the nurses and ambulances tried their best to bring everyone back to the hospital. He didn't want to think of an approximate number as he held onto his Lady and continued to dash across the rooftops.

There was a gut-wrenching scream from bellow that made Chat freeze. He risked a look towards it and felt his blood run cold.

"Nino..." He whispered, his eyes glossing over.

Nino was being pulled out of an ambulance that had gotten knocked over by a bigger truck, no doubt trying to escape the akuma danger zone. He was pale and the ambulance crew was in a panic, Chat could hear the heart monitor beeping slower.

He heard his name being called from down below, begging him for help.

Chat Noir was faced with a choice, to save his Lady or save his best friend. His body shook as he couldn't decide.

He felt Ladybug's shivering touch on his jaw and his eyes went to hers.

She had the same look of determination that he often saw during battle and his heart dropped as he knew what she was about to say.

"We save the people of Paris first mon Minou." She spoke, her voice unwavering. "Save him and come back for me." Chat nodded as he jumped down and summoned all of the strength he could to pose her down gently in an alley. Once she was set against an old brick wall, he couldn't let himself release her from his hold. He couldn't let her go.

She smiled lightly as her hand was pressed against his chest, where she could feel his heart beating under her fingertips. "Go. We don't have much time." She urged as she pushed him lightly.

Chat closed his eyes as a tear fell down his cheek. He cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead, her skin getting increasingly colder. "I will come back for you." He vowed as he kissed her hairline again with more fear than promise.

"I know you will Kitty..." She whispered after he forced himself to run away, pushing himself off of the wall and away from his Lady.

He ran, faster than he thought he ever could.

/-/-/

Adrien paced around in his room in a tight circle, constantly refreshing the Ladyblog like his life depended on it. It didn't matter how big his room was, he had confined himself to the small area in front of his monitors that were on a constant search for anything tagged under "Ladybug". He had given up on the news about Chat Noir, all he saw was the footage people caught of him vaulting over buildings and of his panicked breakdown calling out for his Lady.

There was nothing but fear on the Chat Noir searches, the same fear that Adrien had been engulfed by since he returned to the Agreste mansion late the night before without a voice or a beating heart.

Plagg was uncharacteristically quiet and hadn't complained about cheese during the entire ordeal, he even ate normal cheddar that Adrien offered him so that at least one of them wouldn't starve.

He hadn't spoken to anyone since he nearly lost his voice calling for Ladybug, since he cried himself dry the night before. Natalie tried to contact him a few times but stopped trying after the fifth try as she was still answered with silence.

One of his monitors picked up a new story on Ladybug and Adrien felt like a fool to feel hope bloom in his heart.

It was a candlelight vigil at the park across from the Dupain-Cheng Bakery. The reporter said that it initiated by various Paris citizens who wanted to show their support for their superheroes and had already started a rather large tribute of cards and posters and flowers at the feet of the Ladybug and Chat Noir statue.

Candles were lit for Ladybug and there were various words of encouragement addressed to Chat Noir, written in various fonts and mismatched colours. He felt his chin shake as he read those that were displayed on his screen.

They were consoling him, offering words of comfort and of mourning.

"Is there anything you want to say to our super heroes?" The reporter asked a young child who wore a bright red jacket filled with black spots and a gap in her pearl white teeth. The little girl smiled to the reporter and spoke in her angelic little voice that crushed him to a thousand pieces.

"Ma maman told me that Ladybug is going to be alright as long as we got Cat Noir. He'll take care of her so we need to care for him."

Adrien closed his eyes as he curled in on himself and made himself as small as possible under his desk, burying his face in his knees as he hugged his legs hard.

"If I can help Cat Noir by giving him a card then Ladybug will be okay!" He heard the little girl say from where he was curled up. His shoulders started to shake as more and more people stared to give words of encouragement and love to their heroes. He couldn't take it anymore but he could turn it off either.

Thankfully he didn't have to as silence took over in his room. He kept his eyes shut tight, even as he felt Plagg's presence hover near his head.

"Adrien... She's going to be alright." Plagg whispered in a tone he had never heard before. It was like Plagg was trying his best to be the pillar that Adrien knew he desperately needed, but he knew nothing could help him as he was wracked with guilt and could barely function.

Plagg barely heard the words that came out from Adrien's lips. "I failed them all Plagg."

"You didn't fail Ladybug Adrien..."

Adrien shook his head and held onto his knees tighter. "I failed all of them."

He felt Plagg's little body land on his knees and refused his silent plea to open his eyes and look at him. "You didn't fail anybody Adrien. Please understand that." Plagg urged, touching his knee in an uncharacteristic show of affection.

Adrien couldn't deny that the act was much appreciated but nothing could shake him free of his thoughts. He hiccupped as words came tumbling out of his mouth in a broken shaking voice, "I failed Ladybug, I failed Nino, I failed Paris..." He sobbed as he recalled bright blue eyes and a melodic laugh he wished he could forget. "I even failed Marinette..." He wheezed as he desperately tried to shake their faces from his mind. He had thought choosing between Nino and Ladybug was hard. But choosing between giving up on his Lady and saving Marinette instead had been worse, much much worse.

/-/-/

Chat ran as fast as he could and tried his best to ignore Alya's cries behind him. She had been one of the few smart ones to avoid that particular akuma and had fled to the hospital to help with the victims. Many were comforted by her presence there, thinking that Ladybug would swoop in and reassure everyone. But all that comfort went to dust as she saw Chat Noir carrying a very pale Nino. Chat Noir forced himself to make the drop off as quickly as possible, dashing back towards the alley where he left his Lady without spending time answering any questions.

It was days like those when he was glad he hadn't needed to use cataclysm, he could remain Chat Noir for as long as he had to without fear of his detransformation. Ladybug didn't have that luxury... He hoped she'd still be in the alley by the time he returned.

He remembered how cold she was and it broke whatever was left of his heart, or so he thought.

When he got to the alley however he could not find his Lady. It wasn't long before he started to panic and pace and call out her name in broken cries.

"Ladybug!" He called, his voice breaking as he yelled and yelled.

He heard a rough cough behind him, towards the main road and he dared to hope. However it wasn't his Lady who lay there on the sidewalk, but it was Marinette.

His eyes opened wide as he saw that her condition was comparable to Nino's, except there were no nurses or ambulances around. Her overcoat and pink jeans were drenched in crimson blood and there was a small splattering of blood on the cold pavement near her mouth.

His mind flashed him memories of Marinette earlier that day, with her vibrant smile and laugh as she stuttered through what he thought might have been an attempt at a joke that very morning. There was no sign of that Marinette on the floor, her laboured wheezing turned his memory into a nightmare.

He wished he could say that he didn't hesitate but the vow he made to his Lady was still fresh in his mind.

I will come back for you. He had already broken a promise to his Lady that very same day not even an hour before, yet it felt like that was a lifetime away.

Her words returned to him as clear as his own had.

We save the people of Paris first mon Minou.

He squeezed his hands into fists as he forced himself forwards and fell to his knees next to Marinette.

He carefully put his arm under her arms and knees and gently pressed her small body against his. She whimpered as he pressed her against his chest and couldn't bear the sight of seeing his classmate in so much pain. Much like Nino, Marinette had lost a lot of blood and was as pale as a sheet of paper, her lips were becoming blue and her breath was shaky at best, choppy at worst.

He could remember vaulting with Nino to the hospital but when it came to Marinette it was all a blur. Her dangerously pale features were engraved into his mind as she whimpered and shook in his arms.

He was beyond exhausted by the time he crashed into the hospital revolving doors. He couldn't hear or recall the nurses and volunteers rush to him and gently removing Marinette from his arms. He couldn't remember telling them her name as they put her down on an improvised trolley and rushed her inside, calling for an emergency surgeon. He couldn't remember the trip back to the alley or the amount of times he called out for his Lady with a battered and broken body.

What he could remember was the soul crushing regret he felt when his knees gave out and he fell in the middle of the street, clinging to the idea that his Lady could still be alive while being covered by the blood of his friends and Lady.

"Ladybug..." He chocked. "I failed you..." He shook in the middle of the street as the first of many tears started to spill. "I'm so sorry..."

/-/-/

Adrien hadn't felt the time pass or even register the absence of a certain black cat leave his room. But when he felt faint warmth on the skin of his red swollen cheeks, he couldn't resist the urge to open his eyes.

It took a few blinks to push the blurriness away but when he saw a floating red kwami before him he knew he wasn't hallucinating, even in his grief he knew what she was.

The small red kwami before him was hovering near and above his knees with large worried blue eyes that only reminded him of Marinette's gaze. The little kwami had a large black dot in between her eyes and little antennas that floated behind her as she swayed softly from side to side. He blinked again as a small smile appeared on her lips, a warmth invading him as she simply waited for him to accept her presence as reality.

"Hello Chat Noir." She greeted, her soft calm voice seemed out of place in a room like his, cold and distant where her presence was warm and inviting. She landed on his knee slowly as to give him time to decide if it was alright for her to do so. When he said nothing she sat comfortably on his knee with the same soft smile as she spoke.

"Do you know what I am?" She asked, her sad smile remaining on her lips as she spoke.

Adrien could only nod, she nodded as she continued to speak. "My name is Tikki."

Adrien swallowed as he addressed the kwami before him. "How did you find me?" He asked, his voice sounding like the human personification of sandpaper.

"Plagg sent for me, said you needed someone to get you to realize some things that he couldn't make you understand." She put her little hand on the jeans she sat on. "Plagg isn't one for abandoning his charges but... he knew he could always count on me. He cares for you very much Adrien, you know that don't you?"

Adrien's eyes lowered at the mention of Plagg. He knew his kwami tried his best to console him and he knew it wasn't his kwami's fault that he was suffering.

"Adrien... Listen to me. We need to talk you and I."

Adrien knew he wasn't ready for whatever Tikki was about to bring to the table but the image of his Ladybug potentially crying alone in a dark alley that he couldn't find forced him to face reality.

Whatever talk he needed to have with Tikki needed to happen, no matter how astronomical his failures were.

His owed his Lady that much and more. At least it was a start.