Hello everyone! NO, I am not dead. But I am having a serious case of writers block, so I apologize for not being able to update. I'm at an impasse, and I'm almost where I want to be, but I still have a ways to go. And not to mention all the shit going on outside of that… Sorry for the wait, but just bear with me.
In the meantime, this little thing spat out. I highly recommend listening to "Lost Boy" by Ruth B while you read this. These lyrics are from that song and I listened to the song on repeat the entire time I wrote this.
So, yeah. Hope you enjoy this little drabble while I try to get out of this phase of writers block!
There was a time when he was alone. Nowhere to go and no place to call home. His only friend was the man in the moon and even sometimes he would go away, too.
Harry had been alone ever since he could remember. Well, he wasn't alone in the sense he never got to be around other people. But alone in the way that he didn't have a best friend to play with. Alone in a way that he didn't have parents to love him. Alone in a way that he didn't have anyone who cared about him. The Dursley's are not home. They never had been, and they never would be. The entire place was just memory on top of memory of sadness and loneliness. But he didn't have anywhere to go, so he was forced to stay.
Looking back, Harry would think that the only thing that kept him sane during his time at that awful place was the moon.
He would make up stories about the moon, have conversations to him and pretend he was listening to him. That he had someone to listen and care. Every night, Harry would crawl through the attic and climb on the roof to talk to the man in the moon. It brought a relief and… not happiness, maybe, but contentedness. He could fool himself into pretending there was at least one person who cared for him.
But even the man in the moon would go away.
Then one night, as I closed my eyes, I saw a shadow flying high. He came to me with the sweetest smile. Told me he wanted to talk for awhile. He said, "Peter Pan—that's what they call me. I promise that you'll never be lonely."
Harry would never forget the night everything changed.
He was talking to the man in the moon, eyes drooping with exhaustion. The Dursley's had worked him harder than usual that day, and his seven-year old body could only take so much labor in one day. His fingers were bleeding with blisters and his head throbbed from where Aunt Petunia had smacked him upside the head with a frying pan.
Then during the middle of his story, Harry could make out the faintest of shadows in the sky. He squinted and adjusted his broken glasses to try and get a better look. It kind of looked like a – person riding a broom? It was getting larger, getting closer and Harry watched with fascination as it seemed to head right at him.
With a start, he scrambled back on the roof because it actually was coming right at him!
He didn't make it very far, his head making him woozy and dizzy. The man on the broom landed in front of him and gracefully got off his broom and knelt in front of Harry so they were eye to eye. He had blond hair, but it looked like it was pulled back. Aunt Petunia never did that – her hair was too short – but Harry had seen other older women wear their hair like that. But never men. His grey eyes were startlingly soft and kind and he gave Harry the sweetest smile.
"Hello there Harry. I wanted to talk to you for a while, is that okay?" He sat down with a flourish on the roof, but kept his kind eyes locked on Harry's. He had a cane in his hand, Harry noticed, and it was carefully laid across his lap.
Hesitatingly, Harry nodded and sat down next to the man on roof, raising his gaze back up to the moon and stars. He didn't feel afraid, for some reason, and was half convinced this was just a dream. After all, how else could you explain someone riding a broom through the air?
"Lucius Malfoy – that's what they call me. I promise that you'll never be lonely."
Harry didn't realize it at the time, the innocent seven year old he had been, but his entire world had just changed with that one sentence.
And ever since that day…
I am a lost boy from Neverland. Usually hanging out with Peter Pan and when we're bored we play in the woods. Always on the run from Captain Hook. "Run, run, lost boy," they say to me, "Away from all of reality."
Harry and Draco groaned with boredom in sync as they fell backwards on Draco's bed, staring up at the ceiling. Harry was bored. BORED! So bored. He voiced exactly this and was elbowed in the side by Draco. "Oh stop whining." He scoffed. "It's unbecoming."
"But I want to play. Have fun. Do something!" Harry whined, as dramatically as his nine year old self could manage. He rolled over and on top of Draco and stared down at the blond boy with wide, pleading green eyes. "Please!"
Draco met his gaze and managed to hold his ground for all of five seconds before sighing. "Fine!" he groaned. "We'll go play in the woods! Fine! It's not like there's anything else to do."
Harry grinned widely and pushed himself off of Draco, grabbing his hand and dragging him off of the bed. The two of them were in the woods in less than a minute and Harry knew despite how Draco acted, the young Malfoy loved coming out here just as much as he did.
They played games and chased each other and were generally just having as much fun as they could get away with. They sometimes pretended Voldemort was chasing them, and they had to get away as fast as they could without getting stuck in any of the traps set up in the woods just for this reason. If either one of them got caught – they were dead.
Harry hadn't known the purpose behind it when he was young, but as he grew older, he began to understand that Lucius had them play this game in the forest to prepare them. Prepare them both for what was going to come.
"Run, run, lost boy." Harry knew it was just his imagination, but sometimes he thought he could hear Voldemort's cold, snake-like voice in his head when he was playing that game in the woods with Draco. "Away from all of reality."
Neverland is home to lost boys like me. And lost boys like me are free.
One of the first things Lucius told Harry on that roof that night, was that there was a place for lost boys like him. A place called Hogwarts. Lucius told the seven-year old child that lost boys like him are free. That the Durselys held no power over him. He was free to leave whenever he wanted.
Lucius told Harry that he was something called a wizard. He told him of all the beautiful places in the world only he could get to. All of the wonderful things that he could do that no one else could do. He described a beautiful mansion with a loving family and –
"I can have all of that? How?" Harry asked with wide green eyes, afraid to hope, afraid to believe.
He sprinkled me in pixie dust and told me to believe. Believe in him and believe in me. Together we will fly away in a cloud of green. To your beautiful destiny. As we soared above the town that never loved me I realized I finally had a family. Soon enough we reached Neverland. Peacefully my feet hit the sand.
Lucius gave him that sweet smile again and stood on his feet, holding out his hand. "All you have to do is believe in me and believe in yourself. Together we will fly away to your beautiful destiny."
Harry didn't even hesitate. He took Lucius hand and they were off, on the front of his broom, Harry held onto Lucius tightly with closed eyes. His breath hitched and he jumped a little when he felt a hand gently rub circles on his back. "It's alright, Harry." Lucius murmured softly. "I won't let you fall. You can open your eyes. You're safe now."
There was only a small moment of hesitation before Harry steeled himself and opened his eyes. He let out a small gasp at the sight that was revealed to him. It was beautiful. In the night, lights from the small suburb of the town that never loved him shined through the darkness. It reminded him of stars. Stars on the earth shining bright to touch the stars shining brighter in the sky.
He let out a small noise of awe and wonder before he closed his eyes and let the thrill of flying wash over him. If this… If this wasn't a dream, then… this was the best thing ever. He was finally getting away from those awful Durselys. He was… actually being rescued!
"Don't cry, Harry." Lucius murmured softly and a hand gently thumbed away the tears on the raven-haired boy's face. "Don't cry. You have family now. We'll be your family. You'll never have to see those awful Muggles again."
Soon enough, Lucius began to lower the broom to the ground, but Harry was too drowsy to be fully aware of what was going on. He stumbled a little when his feet hit the sand and blinked groggily as he got off the broom to see where they were. It looked like the bank of a lake. The sand was crunchy under his feet and in the distance was the most breathtaking house Harry has ever laid eyes on. Well, it was more of a mansion than a house.
He jumped a little when Lucius picked him up, but the blonde haired man just smiled and cradled him in his arms and Harry's heart ached a little bit at the fatherly gesture. "So you're my new family now?"
"Yes, we are, Harry."
"Never see 'em again?"
"Never again." Lucius promised.
And ever since that day... I am a lost boy from Neverland. Usually hanging out with Peter Pan and when we're bored we play in the woods. Always on the run from Captain Hook. "Run, run, lost boy," they say to me, "Away from all of reality."
Harry laughed as he slid down the railing on the stairs, trailing after Draco in their race to get to breakfast first. Usually Harry was always the morning person, but for some reason Draco seemed very excited to beat him today. Harry found that he didn't really mind – loved it actually. It was always so much fun to play with Draco. At first it had taken some nagging (lots and lots of nagging) because Draco used to be an uptight prick – but even though he still was sometimes, he was much more open to playing games with Harry.
Draco was already in the kitchen by the time Harry got down the stairs, so he was completely unprepared for what was waiting for him.
"Surprise!" The cheer was let loose as soon as Harry stepped foot into the kitchen
With disbelieving green eyes, Harry stared in wonder at the giant pile of pancakes (blueberry, his favorite) with ten candles stuck on the top of them, fully lit. Narcissa, Lucius, and Draco were all standing beside the table, with large grins on their faces. Well, Draco had a large grin on his face. Narcissa gave him a gentle smile and a warm look whereas Lucius gazed at him with eyes softer than usual.
"It's my birthday?"
Draco groaned and the constipated look he usually got when Harry did something particularly stupid made a reappearance. Though the raven-haired boy felt slightly embarrassed he forgot his birthday, he was more surprised that they expected him to remember it. He hadn't celebrated his birthday for six years – it wasn't like he was suddenly going to start celebrating it and counting down the days until it came (like Draco).
It was an amazing birthday breakfast. The pancakes were delicious (he'd have to thank them after the Mafoy's went to bed) and the presents he received, like always, were perfect. He got his own broom from Narcissa, who gave him stern instructions that he was not to use it unless either she or Lucius were around. (He nodded along but already heard the talk when Draco got his on his 10th birthday). Draco got him some candy, a pair of Seeker gloves, ("Because you'll be the best Seeker ever and I'll be the best Chaser and we'll be unstoppable!"), but Harry's favorite gift was from Lucius.
It was simple, but beautiful. A silver locket with the Malfoy crest on one side and the Potter crest on the other. Inside the locket were three pictures. The left picture was Lucius, Narcissa, ad Draco. It was one of their very rare informal pictures, of all three of them looking relaxed and smiling with twinkling eyes. The picture on the right made Harry tear up. It was a picture of his parents. They were dancing around a fountain, laughing and smiling and looking so, so happy as his dad dipped his mum and she blew a kiss towards him. The picture in the middle soothed the aching happiness in his chest. It was of him and Draco, running through the woods. Lucius must have gotten it without either of them realizing it.
"Lucius…" Harry's voice broke and tears dribbled down his face as he looked up at Lucius – at the man he had started looking to as a father. Without warning, Harry threw himself forward into Lucius lap, pressing his face against the blonde man's shirt as he cried. Immediately, Lucius wrapped his arms around Harry; a steady and warm embrace that the 10-year old melted into. "Shh…" Lucius murmured, running a hand through his thick black hair. "I told you all those years ago, you're never going to be alone. You're family now."
Neverland is home to lost boys like me. And lost boy like me are free.
Harry loved seeing this side of Lucius. The warm, caring side that only came in the safe confines of the Manor. The side that only Narcissa, Draco, and Harry had the privilege of seeing.
Harry sniffled, face stilled pressed against Lucius' shirt. "Thanks dad."
Faintly, Harry heard the voice in his head again. "Run, run, lost boy." It whispered. "Away from all of reality."
But Harry had nothing to run from now. Now he had something to stay for.
Peter Pan, Tinker Bell, Wendy Darling, even Captain Hook— You are my perfect story book. Neverland, I love you so, you are now my home sweet home. Forever a lost boy at last.
Draco, Luna, and Hermione stood unmoving by his side through everything. Through all of the Voldemort encounters. Through all of the life-or-death situations they constantly found themselves in. Through all of the ups and all of the downs, no matter what, they were there for him.
Some days, Harry would look back on his life and wonder if he had refused Lucius on the roof that night with his sweet smile, if things would be different. Sometimes he wondered just how different they would be. He wondered if it would have been better.
Then he would look around him, and the happiness would build up with every hug from Hermione, kiss on the cheek from Luna, and unwavering support from Draco, and he would know. This life may be hard, but this was his life. And he would never change a moment of it.
With Draco at his side, fingers threaded together, Harry found the courage to stare up at the magnificent castle in front of him, with a small smile playing on his face. Hogwarts. He loved her so much – his home away from home.
"Come on Harry," Draco's soft voice pulled Harry from his musings and he smiled at the chaste kiss the blonde pressed on his cheek. "It's time to go. The ceremony will start soon, and you and Hermione have speeches to read."
Harry smiled over at his fiancé and said teasingly, "Hey, you have a speech to write too."
Draco scoffed and straightened his posture. "I am a Malfoy. We are always ready for any occasion."
Harry grinned slightly. "So does that mean when we marry I'll always be ready for any occasion?" he asked teasingly.
Draco sighed dramatically, bring his free hand to rest over his heart. "You, my dear, are a lost cause. A Potter seems to never be ready for any occasion that doesn't have to do with violence."
The raven-haired eighteen year old rolled his eyes and tugged on Draco's hand to lead him into the castle so they could change into their Graduation robes. "I don't know how I've put up with you for the past eleven years."
"Because you love me." Draco answered cheekily, a glint in his eyes and a smile on his face. "You're mine now, my Lost Boy. Forever mine." He teased lightly, using the term Harry claimed for himself when he was little. He would always say he was a Lost Boy, stuck in the muggle world looking for a way out. He wasn't Lost anymore – not in the same way. But he was Lost in his love for Draco. Something represented in the shiny ring on Draco's finger.
Harry stopped for a moment and stared into Draco's eyes, allowing himself to get lost in their grey depths before he smiled sweetly at Draco. "Forever a Lost Boy. Forever yours." He murmured softly before leaning in and pressing their lips together in a soft, tender kiss.
And for always I will say... I am a lost boy from Neverland. Usually hanging out with Peter Pan and when we're bored we play in the woods. Always on the run from Captain Hook. "Run, run, lost boy," they say to me, "Away from all of reality."
The memory came up from time to time in down moments of his life.
Harry ran through the woods with only Draco by his side. Both of them were exhausted and injured, and the faint sounds of the battle echoed behind them, but they were more concerned with avoiding the Avada Kedavra's being thrown at them. Who knew an old man like Voldemort had such endurance?
They lost track of Hermione and Luna. Harry only prayed that they were alright. Last he saw of the battle, Luna had run off to help Neville battle Voldemort's stupid snake and Hermione had been trying desperately to protect a group of young (so, so young) Slytherins and Gryffindors from a bunch of Death Eaters.
"Harry, watch out!" Draco tackled him to the ground as a spell whipped above their heads, and they were up and running as soon as it passed their heads. They needed to gain the upper hand. They needed to stop running and face down this stupid bastard.
"Run, run, lost boy." Voldemort hissed from behind them. "Away from all of reality."
Harry cursed and tugged Draco to his chest behind a wide oak tree as a spell passed through the air where the blonde boy had just been standing. He pressed his face into Draco's hair and felt a dry sob leave his mouth. "I can't do this." Harry whispered. "Draco – Draco – I don't – I can't –"
"Hey!" Draco twisted in Harry's grasp and gently cupped his cheeks in his hands. His face was wild, smeared with dirt and blood and there were leaves sticking out of his hair, but his eyes were calm and determined – full of faith. "You can do this. Just… remember, alright? Remember why you're doing this. For them," he gestured out towards the direction of the castle. "For your parents." Draco pressed his hand over Harry's heart and pressed his forehead against the raven-haired boy. "For me. You're strong enough. You can do this. Use some of that bloody Gryffindor courage, alright? I'm right here. Right here at your side and I'm never leaving."
Harry took a deep breath and ignored the death and battle and spells being thrown and grounded himself in this moment. He could do this. He could do this. If Draco believed in him… and stood by his side… well, Harry always knew there wasn't anything they couldn't do together.
Hands clasped, wands ready, the two boys (men) gathered all of their courage and turned to face the darkest evil of them all.
Neverland is home to lost boys like me. And lost boys like me are free.
Harry will never allow anything to threaten his home.
Neverland is home to lost boys like me. And lost boys like me are free.