Published: 19 April 2015
There's only one way to describe it - like complete darkness.
Darker than a night with no moon, darker than a stripe on a cat's back, darker than the deepest part of the forest. This kind of darkness you can't make light. Even with little flicks of light nothing is real, and you can only do one thing. You must keep moving.
And so I did.
When the bright sun finally came to rescue me from unimaginable black, I realized I still couldn't see. There was nothing to see - but the miniscule light coming from somewhere seemed to me like the brightest summer day ever.
For awhile I sat like this, whining for something to fill some empty pit in me, waiting and wishing for warmth to take me, floating in and out of some state of consciousness, but mainly just hoping for a reprieve from this lack of color. And when it finally came it was as if I had made it come about, what with the twitch of a muscle somewhere within me.
There was light.
I snuggled up against whatever was next to me and over the next few days, I'd learn that she was called "mother," or by everyone but me, "Cinderflake."
I'd learn the names for lots of new things in the days following my first day of sight. Like that weird, green, leafy stuff is called "moss", and the dusty-smelling food mother ate was called "mouse", and the coating on me mother licked back and forth to warm me was called "fur," my namesake. Yeah, I learned that, too - my name is Furrykit.
Forever I'd be taught that my Clan was the best, and I'd learn that those other Clans, which were taught to me to be distant groups of anger-filled aliens, were dirt. If I saw one, I should kill it - but never let it know that that was my intention.
It was confusing for someone so little like myself to learn, mother said, because how can a kit fathom death? Well, personally, I understood it, somehow, but I'd always understood tons of stuff before I had ever heard about it before, I think. I "got" death, but I didn't like it, and I certainly didn't want to cause it. But I kept my mouth shut since it was obvious to me that my Clanmates believed what I was being told to a t, and expected me to, too.
ShadowClan was like that - loyal to a fault. They said what they believed and believed what they said, and same with their actions. There wasn't a single thing I heard those first two moons that wasn't justified with some sort of evidence or reasoning. And somehow it all made sense to me.
I was a good size for my age, too - the newest apprentice was about half a moon over six, and though he was considered scrappy, I was still nearly half his size at a third the age. And I think those two factors combined made Stormstar very eager to bring me to the Gathering, and use me as a "spy" - I was very good at being silent, and I could easily listen to a few apprentices' conversation without them knowing.
Cinderflake was eager, too - to help me prove myself, that is. She said that it didn't matter if I was scared to make the long journey, Stormstar had hand-picked me to attend very early, and though I could talk to the apprentices of other Clans, I should remember two things: one, don't reveal my age, and two, if they insult me or my Clan, use force to make mine or my Clan's strength known.
Of course, I knew fighting moves. No kit in ShadowClan didn't. But I was pretty average at them and knew I couldn't take on a cat twice my size, even if it was just an apprentice. I was a decent listener, though, and my plan to impress Stormstar was to do just that - sit nearby a group of apprentices and listen to their conversation. Who knew what gossip I'd hear those chatty toms and she-cats spill?
On the way to the Gathering, I decided to test my skills. Silent as a rabbit, I crept up behind Stormstar and Fallingnight, lodging myself stealthily beside Flamedust. And from there I listened, hearing -
"Yeah, but what about Whiskerstar? A 'mysterious disease'?" was the first thing I picked up, coming from a defiant Fallingnight.
"Pssh, sure, whatever. I don't believe any of that lizard-dirt that comes out of WindClan's mouths."
Fallingnight shrugged. "Well, we must be careful. Should it really be an issue, we'll want to be prepared, and as you know, herb supplies are low this green-leaf, and…"
"Go talk to Pebblespeck. Tell her to start stockpiling, just in case."
"You got it, Stormstar," the deputy said, before nodding and bounding to the back of the traveling group.
Stormstar glanced back to watch him fade into the night, and I ducked down, attempting to avoid his sweeping gaze, but it was too late - his green eyes came in contact with my amber ones, and for a second, I thought there was a hint of pride. However, Stormstar was known for not showing any emotion, and before I knew it, it was gone.
I looked right to see that Flamedust had fallen back, obviously unaware I was there to begin with. That's why Stormstar had seen me. I awaited scolding for listening in on their conversation, but instead, I received a beckoning forward by my leader's thin, white tail.
"Barely noticed you, Furrykit," he said finally as I came to rest next to him. Unsure what to say, I finally stammered out a feeble "thank you."
My leader chuckled. "I see Cinderflake has taught you well. You made quite the furtive stalker. Had you not been so drastic in your movements to hide yourself, I would not have seen you." My face glowed with pride, and I let out a small purr to show my gratitude. Stormstar continued. "You must be confused by what we were speaking about. The WindClan leader was absent at the last Gathering-" I nearly cut him off, about to say "but all leaders must be present!" but decided against it, seeing as interruption was considered one of the rudest things a ShadowClan cat could do "- however her Clan was not. The deputy stood in her place, saying that a strange illness had wracked the Clan, leaving the leader in a state within death and unconsciousness." He paused for a second and looked down at me. "With any other kit I'd be afraid they'd not understand. I needn't have that fear with you." Stormstar looked up again. "You're the only cat I know who knows about death and hasn't died."
It got strangely silent then and I worried if I should speak up again. Just as I was going to ask what Stormstar thought would happen at this Gathering, my leader stopped and raised his tail, signaling for us to pause. "Go back to Cinderflake now, Furrykit. You've kept up well on this journey. We will speak again."
The silence still raging around us, I trod quickly back to my mother. She stared at me with a large smile on her face as I approached, and smothered me in fur-cleaning licks as she waited for Stormstar's word that we would enter the Gathering Island.
When the arbitrary coast was clear, we began to move again, flooding onto the tree-bridge in a mass. It became my turn to inch across sooner than I would have hoped.
Cinderflake stood behind me, nudging me gently as I tried to puff up my fur, both to make myself look more apprentice sized, and to hide my overwhelming fear. Thankfully, the log was dry from greenleaf heat, and the moon-old claw marks on it created steady footholds for me. Cinderflake arrived on the other side with me not many mouse-hops later, and she nuzzled my ear softly.
"I'm very proud of you, Furrykit," she mewed.
"It's Furrypaw tonight," I purred back, looking up into her blue eyes. They shown with the light of a thousand suns and I couldn't help but smile wide back.
"Furrypaw!" I heard Fallingnight yell to me. I turned to look at him. The deputy flicked his ears, and I bounded over swiftly. "Furrypaw, nice to see you, Furrypaw." I wondered why he was saying my fake name so many times, and I glanced to my right to see most of the ShadowClan cats were still gathered around him. We were the first Clan on the island, and though we could see RiverClan approaching on the horizon, we were still able to speak openly. "I'm very proud to see you here at a Gathering, Furrypaw." Fallingnight blinked deeply at me and I understand exactly what he was saying. Don't slip up, the blink said. This is your chance. Don't you dare mess this up for us, kid.
Stormstar gave a small yowl, and the Clan began to split up, regarding me as just any other apprentice, except some of them did give me stares of jealousy. I wouldn't argue - I'd be jealous, too, if some kit was able to go to their first Gathering nearly four moons early.
RiverClan arrived not too long after this, and they mostly kept to their side of the clearing, as did ThunderClan. I walked over to a group of apprentices who were beginning to mingle, and sat down near them, listening to them. It was mostly idle chatter, not anything of importance. Not until the RiverClan leader, Reedstar, gave an angry yowl did I look up and realize how far past moonhigh it was - still with no sign of WindClan.
Fallingnight rose up on his paws and stared out of the tops of the island trees. "WindClan on the horizon!" he called out fervently.
"Good," Reedstar snarled, swiping at the rock impatiently.
When the final clan entered the clearing, the Gathering started almost immediately. I noticed the murmuring within the clearing increasing, and I cautiously leaned into one of the apprentice who was sitting a bit farther away from the group.
"First Gathering," I muttered quickly. "Is that Whiskerstar?"
"No, that's the WindClan deputy, Acornstem." he whispered back. "Whiskerstar was absent last Gathering, due to a sickness of some sort."
"I heard."
"Acornstem lead the Gathering last time, I wouldn't be surprised if he lead again. Just kind of strange, you know, that it happened two moons in a row…"
A tail snapped next to us. "Hush!" someone scolded before padding away.
"Sorry, Mousefire," the apprentice murmured. "He's not usually like that. Must've got ants in his nest. I'm Squirrelpaw, by the way. What's your name?"
Not interested in making friends, I acted as if I heard something. "Oh, uh, nice to meet you, Squirrelpaw. Uh, I have to go. My mentor's calling me…"
I trailed off before skittering away. I heard Squirrelpaw whisper to someone else, "Little small for an apprentice, don't you think?"
Need to be more careful, I thought. Stormstar's counting on me.
I searched for someone from ShadowClan to talk to, but luckily I didn't have too. Reedstar called the Gathering to a start and I was quickly consumed on both sides by forest-smelling cats who I assumed were ThunderClan warriors.
"Excuse me," I said lowly, keeping my head down and attempting to swerve around them to reach a cat from my Clan.
"Keep it down!" a voice peppered from nearby. I knew the leaders would begin to speak soon, and I didn't want to draw attention to myself, so I abruptly sat down, hanging my head in both shame and disgust. Only when I looked up seconds later did I realize Snakepaw, an apprentice from my Clan, had put herself next to me. "Don't be too worried," she whispered. "I was nervous my first Gathering too."
I blinked appreciation, and turned to look at the leaders, but inside I was confused. You didn't attend your first Gathering as an illegal spy, four moons before you should have.
"Acornstem!" Reedstar huffed, his eyes threatening. "Good to see you again. What have you to say for yourself? You were so late we nearly began without you!"
The brown tom bowed his head, and replied, saying, "Sorry to inconvenience you, Reedstar. You both, too, Tanglestar and Stormstar. Sorry to keep you waiting. We had an issue with kittypets at the edge of our territory earlier today, however we taught them a lesson they won't soon forget." He paused and Reedstar leaned in, obviously waiting for him to explain the absence of the WindClan leader. "As you can see, Whiskerstar is obviously once again not present. We believe the sickness has gotten worse…"
Acornstem trailed off, and a black cat with a short tail I could only assume was WindClan's medicine cat rose to her hind paws. "Whiskerstar has unfortunately lost a life, but Acornstem is incorrect - Whiskerstar is getting stronger every day and will most likely be here to greet you next Gathering. Until then, I am sorry, but my patient needs me."
As if planned, Acornstem regained his stature, flicked his tail, and bounded off the rock, WindClan following suit.
When the rustle of their leave finally settled, Reedstar continued, grumbling. "The river runs as strong as ever with fish, and that is proven by our two strong new warriors, Mosscreek and Lakefrost." There was a soft praise to the siblings, who shone like crystals with their sleek, fish-fed fur. "Our borders are strong too," he added on quickly, glancing at Stormstar. My leader either didn't see it or chose to ignore it, for he made no move to respond or even send a warning glance at the opposing leader. Hearing no rebuttal, Tanglestar began.
"ThunderClan has also seen it's share of fine prey this greenleaf. We welcomed two new litters this moon, so our nursery is full. We did, much like WindClan, chase out some pesky kittypets. Perhaps all Clans should be on the lookout for these cats."
"You really believe what WindClan said about those kittypets?" Reedstar challenged.
Tanglestar narrowed his eyes. "Why wouldn't we? Are you calling Acornstem a lier?"
Reedstar scoffed. "It's obvious they were trying to cover up their poor state with a battle. Tanglestar, your Clan is the only one that has seen trouble from kittypets this moon, and perhaps if you'd open your eyes and looked up from those mice you catch, you'd know this."
The clearing became alive with yowls of disgust, as ThunderClan and RiverClan split around ShadowClan. Tanglestar's pelt grew to twice it's size before Stormstar yelled loudly.
"Look at the clouds!"
There was sudden silence.
"StarClan will not accept this kind of behaviour, especially not when one Clan is in peril!" Stormstar began to calm, his fur falling in place as Tanglestar's did the same. "ShadowClan, too, must tell of it's fortune this moon. So, please, Reedstar. Keep your Clan in it's pelts for just a few moments longer."
Reedstar's eyes flashed with defiance, but he dipped his head and said nothing.
"ShadowClan has seen a lack of rats in the Crowfoodplace, meaning a surplus of mice and frogs in the rest of the swamp. In addition to the increase of food, we have apprenticed another cat, Furrypaw. She has already shown her stalking prowess and I will watch her progress in interest."
I smiled and looked down, hoping not to draw any attention to myself - that was the whole point of me being here four moons early.
"Other than this, ShadowClan has fared well with little trouble from kittypets or other Clans. And we will fight to keep it that way."
His eyes flared threateningly, before jumping off the rock and summoning his Clan to leave.
On the way back to camp, I was told many times that I performed well during the Gathering, and Stormstar hinted once again that he'd like to speak with me in the morning. Of course I respectfully agreed, but he told me not to rush, as I'd certainly be tired when we returned to camp. Only then did I realize how right he was and it took everything in me not to ask Cinderflake to carry me the rest of the way.
When we finally laid to rest in the nursery at the end of the night, I prepared myself to lay down my head and fall into a brisk but calming sleep.
What lay ahead of my on the other side of my eyelids was nothing of what I expected.
A/N: Thanks a bunch for reading the first chapter of my newest fanfiction, Two and Two! I hope you enjoyed :) Please favorite/review for more! Follow me on my social medias for updates when new chapters come out and opportunities to submit ocs, etc:
fallowfeatherwc on tumblr
sydney1901 on twitter
Just a head's up: this fic will have LGBT characters! Yay! I'm super excited for that, expecially now that the Erins have said it's completely okay to be LGBT/etc (not their opinion had changed or will change anything, just that now we can rub it in homophobic warrior cats fan's faces). That's all for now, new chapter in a few days, or maybe even tomorrow B) Bye!
- syd