"Lady Mai," the servant girl bowed low in respect, before taking away the tea tray beside the Fire Lord's wife, her head bowed.
The noblewoman in question didn't even offer the girl - child may have been a better word, for she been only barely old enough to drink - a courtesy glance of acknowledgment. Instead she continued to stare from the covered patio into the garden, at the cherry blossoms in full bloom. Mai had been like this for some time now, Ty Lee noticed, sitting across from her at the small table on the patio, as the servant girl walked away.
Ty Lee's brow tilted away from her warm brown eyes in concern for her friend. "Mai, are things going well here? With Zuko?" she queried carefully. Their sitting had been silent since the initial greetings, as they had been the four mornings previous. At first Ty Lee had thought it to be a companionable silence, but now she realized something was amiss.
Mai didn't offer her friend a glance either. "Of course," she answered dully, in her usual fashion. "Why wouldn't they be?" she ran light amber eyes across the garden, over the pink flowers of the trees.
The acrobat's gaze moved around them, looking for any nearby servants or guards who might hear their conversation. She sighed, wondering if she should proceed to ask the question on her tongue. It would hit a nerve with Mai; Ty Lee was sure of it. And it would be hypocritical too, as she had promised never to ask the Fire Lord's wife the question, ever, as per request. But something was hurting Mai, and Ty Lee needed to know what it was. "People are talking," Ty Lee began tentatively.
Mai's head lolled on her neck and her face tilted toward the acrobat. Her amber gaze settled on brown, a sullen expression on her features. "Really," she replied in a dreary tone, only barely noticeable sarcasm beneath it. "I couldn't possibly imagine what they might be talking about," she added, this time her deadpan sarcasm more prominent.
Ty Lee blinked at Mai, only sadness apparent on her soft features.
Mai continued of her own accord; Ty Lee had guessed she might. She knew the princess better than anyone - Mai would not be Fire Lady until Zuko's mother passed away; and regrettably, this was something the woman in pink feared Mai might be looking forward to, or even plotting toward. "They might speak of how after five years of marriage, the Fire Lord is yet to have an heir," Mai smirked thoughtfully, and put her elbow on the table beside her, lifting her soft, pampered knuckles to her cheek. "Do they?"
Ty Lee made a tiny noise of confirmation.
"Yes," Mai continued with this same strange smirk on her face, "And they speak of how his wife refused to give him one," she smirked even wider, and Ty Lee's worried expression deepened. "But no one talks of how he loses sleep over it, or how he once got on his knees and begged me to stop taking the herbs," Mai's eyes fell on her friends, and the smirk washed away gradually. Mai then lowered her eyes, and looked rather sad. "I have stopped, though. Now."
"You have?" Ty Lee tilted her head. "Well …" she considered her words. "Uh … good," she smiled weakly.
Mai sighed. "No. I stopped taking them because there's no longer a need. Zuko doesn't come to my quarters anymore, and I no longer go to his. I still wouldn't give him a child; he still asks me for one, and he'll keep asking. And I know he won't annul the marriage, or even take a mistress, for his honor-bound sense of loyalty.
"Eventually he'll give me what I want, and then I'll give him what he wants."
Ty Lee frowned immediately, somewhat understanding what Mai meant. This was something she could hold against Zuko, to get what she wanted, or rather needed. Ty Lee knew that through the five years of change and age that had passed since the end of the war, Mai would never seek something she wanted unless it was small and pointless. Whatever she wanted from Zuko, she needed it - and badly, if these were the lengths she was going to for it.
Katara crouched by the water of the turtleduck pond, two fingertips dipped below the surface, sending tiny ripples in the water that only she could sense. Her heartbeat beat the water, through her fingertips, and those tiny ripples were unseen by anyone else. Katara found this interesting; this special something that nobody else could see, or sense.
She had stayed in the Fire Nation royal palace last night, after arriving with her father for a meeting with the Fire Lord. Sokka was at home looking after the tribe, Gran-Gran, and his very pregnant wife, hoping to Tui and La that Suki didn't pop while Katara was away. She had yet to meet with Zuko - he was a busy man and she understood that he didn't have much time to spend sharing stories with old friends.
But, she had scheduled a social audience with the Fire Lord for later in the afternoon, and she hoped he'd be pleasantly surprised when he walked into his private tea room to find he didn't have to sit in serious conversation with a stuffy general, and instead got to sit around drinking tea and talking about how things had changed since the end of the war with her.
Personally, Katara couldn't believe all the protocol and annoying bureaucratic melodrama around the palace, and she guessed Zuko couldn't either, judging by the annoyance he'd expressed in his last letter with his advisors and their petty squabbles, and such. There were titles so complicated Katara had almost addressed Zuko as Fire Lady at one point by mistake, as well as traditions on just what you were supposed to wear to each meal. And, not being one to trample people's customs, Katara went along with it all. It was the least she could do for her friend not to cause him trouble.
"Lady Mai?" someone spoke up from afar, and Katara looked up.
She saw Princess Mai of the Fire Nation standing on the patio overlooking the garden, with two servant girls and Ty Lee standing around her, with pale amber eyes transfixed on the waterbender sitting on the grass by the turtleduck pond, under the shade of a cherry blossom tree. Katara, completely oblivious, smiled brightly and raised a hand to wave at her friend's wife. Sure, she didn't know Mai all that well, but it wasn't too late to crack up a friendship; Katara knew she admired the knife-thrower's combat skill, at least.
The waterbender didn't catch the subtle change in Ty Lee's expression, and only Ty Lee caught the tiny change in Mai's calm façade.
Mai began to walk toward the edge of the patio, toward the grass, approaching Katara. Noticing this, the waterbender's smile widened and she moved toward Mai as well. Katara didn't see the workings of Mai's mind, or the dark twist of her expression. All Katara saw, for a split moment as Mai got drew nearer, was a flat palm coming flying at her cheek.
It happened so fast Katara barely had time to stumble backward and grab one side of her face in surprise before one of the servant girls dropped the tea tray in her hands to the wooden flooring, and the ornate china teapot smashed open, boiled tea splashing between its broken pieces. When the initial shock wore off, Katara realized she was standing five feet from Princess Mai, one hand clutching the red mark of a slap in the face on her cheek, and Mai stood before her with a blank, dull, apathetic expression on her face.
Katara stared, blinking in disbelief at the Fire Lord's wife, unsure what to make of that display of hostility. Of course her cheek hurt, but Katara was more distressed by why Mai would smack her in the face for no reason. The guards, who Katara had until now regarded as part of the scenery because of their tall, dark, handsome appearances - not that Katara had a thing for Fire Nation men or anything like that - twitched as if preparing to attack. If Katara bit back, she would be detained by the guards and she'd cause problems for Zuko. She blinked a few more times, before shaking her head, turning and marching away, her head still in a tailspin.
Weeks passed. People talked of how Princess Mai had slapped Lady Katara, unofficial princess of the Southern Water Tribe and honored war hero, across the face in the Fire Lord's garden, instead of how Princess Mai had refused to give her country an heir to spite their king. The spoke of how the Water Tribe Princess had left without so much as a word to the Fire Lord himself, only later writing to palace to invite him to her arranged wedding to a Northern Tribe war hero, to ensure the bond between the two tribes stayed strong.
The Fire Lord went to the wedding, and he came back sad. Mai stayed in the palace, unwilling to sit beside her husband and watch him pine over the waterbender as she gave herself away to another man, for the sake of her people. Now he would give her what she wanted even quicker, she had hoped. It was high time he did what he needed to do to give his people their heir, and so he would give her what it was she wanted.
Fire Lord Zuko came to his wife's quarters the night after he returned, and he melted in her arms, pleading and crying and begging her to give him a child. He did this all with bags under his eyes and the uncoordinated stumble of a man drunk on rice wine and exhausted from three weeks' poor sleep quality, and Princess Mai pushed him away. But she finally told him what it was that she wanted. What she needed.
"I can't make love to you wondering if you're thinking of someone else. If you're thinking about her."
Because Mai had seen it all along; tiny glances, suppressed blushes and awkward mumblings, before the two parted ways and pushed one another to the backs of their minds. She had known it when they hadn't, and she had always wondered about it. She had noticed how the waterbender looked at her husband with admiration and foolish infatuation, oblivious both to the identical gaze Zuko returned, and the fact that this admiration even existed in her heart.
Agni, Mai had seen it, and she had cursed the waterbender's stupidity. Mai couldn't have a child with Zuko, always wondering if ten years down the line, he would realize it and do something drastic to have her back. She couldn't risk Zuko doing that to her, and she couldn't risk Zuko doing that to her child, or children. That was why she was hesitant to give him what he needed.
Ty Lee left the royal palace to travel the Earth Kingdom with the circus, and they wouldn't hear from her until years later.
Eventually, Mai gave in and hoped desperately that when she lay beneath her husband, his eyes being closed meant nothing; it was just something he did, and she shouldn't take it seriously. But in the back of her mind, she always wondered. She convinced herself he thought of her, and only her. He murmured only her name in his sleep, and breathed only her name when they made love, and this helped to keep Mai sane throughout the pregnancy that followed a short spell of lovemaking periodically with Zuko.
The sex stopped after Mai discovered she was carrying his heir, and Mai missed his warmth.
His warmth returned once his son was born, and the three of them were a family. Zuko would tell her every day how much he loved her, and Mai could smile and believe it, because she was sure it was true. Of course she was right, and it was true; The Fire Lord loved her with all his heart, almost as much as he loved his son, and that Mai could handle. Zuko was allowed to love the child more than her, because her son needed him more than she did. Zuko loved her, but … he was not in love with her. But this was ignored.
Fire Lady Ursa passed away under initially mysterious circumstances, but it was eventually declared to have been an accident. Zuko was distraught, naturally, but he went on. Mai had known he would.
Mai remained happy like this for three years after her son was born. As far as she knew, Zuko had lost contact with his precious waterbender, and this made Mai even happier. She grew to believe her fears had been nothing; that the glances had only been ones of acknowledgment, and the awkward mumblings had been simply memories of awkward moments between friends. Mai even somewhat regretted that day four years ago that she had slapped Katara of the Water Tribe in the face, because her fears had only been of paranoia.
So when a letter arrived from the Water Tribe chief, Sokka, addressed not to the Fire Lord, but the Fire Lady, Mai opened it curiously. Chief Sokka requested a meeting with the Fire Lady, following the death of his sister, Princess Katara, and his brother in law. Interestingly, to Mai, the two had died in the tragic sinking of a boat attacked by rebels while on their way to Gao-Ling to visit the great Toph Bei Fong, and Sokka explained that he was headed North to collect his Niece, and then would be in the trajectory of the Fire Nation, so he would stop in, hoping to meet with her.
Mai sent a letter of agreement, confused, but curious. She had heard nothing of Katara, great war-hero and waterbender, ever having had any children. Mai had been under the impression that Katara had found herself unable to have children; barren, after years of fighting rebellions. Mai had even been amused with this little assumption. It had been only right for Katara not to feel the joy of parenthood, because somewhere down deep, Mai still blamed her for every weakness her marriage suffered.
Sokka of the Water Tribe arrived with a four-year old in tow, some months older than Mai's son. The girl's looks were true to classic Water Tribe tradition; she had dark brown hair that fell down and curled, all the way to the little girl's behind; she had longer hair than Mai had ever seen on a child, but Mai ignored that. She was true to the same skin tone as he mother, and Mai found this tragic - how she would always be likened to her dead mother. As Sokka of the Water Tribe sat down and began explaining why he was here, Mai kept her eyes trained on the girl who kept her eyes closed and her face pointed at the floor.
Eventually tired with Sokka's ramblings, Mai asked him why he was here. "What are you doing here, then? If you have something to discuss with Zuko, you should have written to him."
Sokka blinked at her in that same insufferable manner that Katara had, that day in the garden. "Well, the problem is that she … can't come to the South Pole with me."
Mai arched a brow and stared at him apathetically. "And why not?"
"Because … well, she's a firebender."
And Mai's eyes widened. Every single lie she'd told herself in four years came shattering down around her. Sokka went on about how he guessed she must be the next Avatar, but Mai's mind was already doing the math. The little girl was four years old, born nine months after Katara's wedding to her husband, but a firebender. Sokka was still speaking when the Fire Lady got up an approached the little girl who had stepped into the garden, and was sitting sadly by the turtleduck pond.
Sokka's words stopped in his throat and he frowned in confusion.
The little girl stood at the sound of someone approaching from behind, but she refused to look up. When the Fire Lady stood only five feet behind her, she turned toward the woman, but still didn't look up.
Mai's eyes narrowed and she lowered herself to the grass to be at the girl's level. "Look at me," she ordered dryly.
The girl shook her head, and moved to pass Mai, to go to her uncle. Mai grabbed the girl's arm and stopped her. The little girl gasped out at the hard grip on her upper arm and accidentally looked up to shout at the Fire Lady to let go of her. Then all things paused in time. Golden eyes, familiar in every sense of the word, fell on pale amber ones, and Mai's grip tightened despite the horrified look of understanding that washed over the Fire Lady's face.
Then a sad smile graced Mai's face, as she slowly understood. Of course she hadn't heard about Katara having had a child; Katara would have done everything possible to keep her from finding out. And yet, on top of Katara's efforts, the little girl's bending had brought her straight to the Fire Lady. This, Mai found ironic. "Why wouldn't you look at me?" Mai's grip loosened and her thumb ran soothingly on the little girl's arm, predicting the answer she would get.
But the answer she got was not what she expected. "My daddy told me the Fire Lord was an evil man and you must be too, since you're married to him," the child answered carefully, narrowing golden eyes in a manner so like Zuko, that Mai almost thought it was her husband looking at her.
It was Mai's turn to blink in surprise. She smiled, understanding more with each moment. Mai remembered once considering telling her son that Katara of the Water Tribe was evil, just to keep him away from her. Katara's husband must have spotted it, Mai guessed correctly, and he must have hated Zuko for it.
"Stop smiling! I hate you! Your firebenders killed my parents!" The little girl grabbed Mai's hand on her arm and she pulled it off with more strength than Mai had guessed might be in her tiny arms. "I hope you die!" she screamed into Mai's face and clenched fists at her sides, before she ran past the Fire Lady toward her uncle. Mai got to her feet and turned to where the girl grabbed her uncle's hand and tried to pull him back the way they had come.
Mai breathed a tiny sigh. This was about what she might have expected from Zuko and Katara's daughter.
"I want to go home!" the girl stated loudly, tugging at Sokka's hand.
Sokka looked to Mai, and Mai understood what it was he was here for. Mai nodded at the Southern Tribe's new chief. "Kya," Sokka cleared his throat and lowered himself to crouch before the girl. "This is home now."
Kya stared at him for a moment, before she glanced back into the garden, to Mai, and her face twisted in horror. "No! Don't leave me here! No!" She grabbed the front of his tunic and lifting one leg up on his, grabbing his shoulder then and climbing onto him. "You can't leave me here! Mommy's dead letter said you have to take care of me!"
By 'dead letter', Mai assumed the girl was talking about a will, and the Fire Lady drew nearer, watching as Sokka tried to pry his niece from his clothes. The guards, who had matured from boys into men over the years, looked on in sympathy. A four-year-old girl forced now to live with people she'd learnt to hate was now being thrown to the lions den that this palace was.
"Kya, honey-,"
"No! No!" Kya clung to Sokka's clothes and beat him with tiny fists, tears beginning to spill down her face the way negations spilled past her lips. "Please don't! Please don't leave me here!" she screamed out so loud her throat hurt, but she kept on hitting her uncle and pleading with him. Mai felt her heart twist at the sight. "Uncle Sokka no! Please!"
Sokka eventually pried Kya away and stood, and then Kya grabbed his leg with both arms and then wrapped her legs around it too. It would have been cute if it wasn't so painfully tragic and sorrowful. Mai neared and gently pried Kya's hands from Sokka's clothes, picking her up from the floor. Kya's fists beat now on Mai as Sokka edged away. Tiny fingers tried to peel out of Mai's hold.
"NO! Uncle Sokka please! Don't leave me here!" The girl screamed after her uncle, as he watched with sad eyes. Mai could tell it was all the Chief could do not to cry; he must have felt as though he were betraying his sister, but Mai knew there was no way Sokka could take a firebender to the South Pole - and Mai was completely sure the girl was a bender, by the fire in her eyes and the change in temperature that had come with the girl's panic. Kya's eyes and nose both ran and she screamed again and again. "PLEASE! NO!"
Sokka disappeared into the palace to speak with the Fire Lord before he left. Kya screamed even louder, until Mai was sure that Zuko could hear his daughter cry from wherever it was in the palace that he and Sokka were speaking, sharing agreements for the child's care. The girl screamed and cried until she had no more fight left in her, and then she fell asleep with her face buried in the lavish robes of the Fire Lady.
Mai stroked the girl's hair and carried her to a room near her son's, telling the maids to prepare it for the new princess. Mai didn't know why it was she was doing this, but as she laid the girl down to sleep, humming a soothing lullaby for her, she supposed that after four years of hating Katara of the Water Tribe and practically willing her death to be a reality, this was the least she could do.
She should have been furious that her husband had in fact had his first child with another woman, but Mai was instead sad. She thought of that wave, and that smile Katara had given her four years ago in the gardens, and her mind had fallen on something that saddened her. She had missed a chance to make a friendship with a kind woman; the same kind woman who had kept her daughter a secret from the world to keep from hurting the Fire Lady, and the Fire Lord.
Mai realized that instead of hating Katara for Zuko having loved her, she should have appreciated Katara for having loved Zuko so.
"Mommy," Kya stirred in her sleep, and her hands clenched again on Mai's clothes.
Mai sighed. She knew not what to think, or what resolve she could turn to, but she knew that she owed Katara something. And she hoped this would be reparation enough.