The song for this fic is Said The Sky ft. Missio - Nostalgia (If you like this song and you like Bamon from Vampire Diaries check out Bonnie and Damon - Nostalgia by theshadowcircus
MALIA'S POV:
With half of my car unpacked, I plopped down on the floor and spread out. My abs were sore from this morning's early run. As if moving to another town would solve my problems. Well, running didn't help as much as it used to.
Even in this new, open apartment, I felt like I couldn't breathe. The weight of my past still choked me with all the windows open.
We had done it. We had graduated. We had survived. And some of us had moved on.
I wasn't one of them.
The heady smell of the Alpha wafted toward my nose, the comforting beat of his heart inched toward my ears.
I sat up to find him in the doorway.
He leaned against the frame in a jean jacket, a black wifebeater, jeans, and a pair of his tan Timbaland's. His dark brow sat high on his face as his soft, brown eyes gave me one of his disappointed Scott McCall looks.
I hated those looks. Mostly because I didn't like disappointing anyone, let alone Scott. He held so much faith in people, sometimes it felt impossible to live up to. But I recently found out that was the point. We'd never be good enough so that told us we had to keep learning, keep striving, keep going. With his guidance and friendship, it felt doable.
"What are you doing here?" I rose in my cut-offs. My toned stomach bare in my plaid shirt that I tore the sleeves off and tied into a knot at the middle. I tightened my high ponytail.
His eyes fell down my body, he stopped at my feet, then scrunched his eyes. "Are those sandals?"
I looked down at my feet that were very much covered in sandals. I was tempted to cover them out of some weird insecurity I didn't understand, but I refrained.
"It's hot."
Hence the sweat that formed on my skin.
We stared at each other.
I couldn't help but feel guilty under his eyes. Yes, I moved from Beacon Hills and didn't tell anybody. Yes, I wanted to escape the horrors of my past, the open wound that still hadn't quite healed from Lydia and Stiles dating. Yes, I feared the reaction of the Alpha.
His knowing eyes lingered on me.
My pulse rose a little.
He peeled off his jean jacket and tossed it onto the floor by the door. With a parting look, he turned on his heels and left.
I guessed what he was doing so I started on emptying the contents of the nearest box.
He returned a little later with a few boxes in his tanned arms that showed how sculpted his arms were under the weight. He carefully sat them on the floor, his eyes went to mine.
A tiny grin came to my lips.
He offered one back, then headed back for the car.
By the time the car was unpacked he worked up a sweat. It was hard not to notice. His warm-looking skin glistened in the sunlight that streamed through the large windows. Instead of unpacking one box at a time like I did when I got here I should've just brought everything in first. What good would having my kitchen put away first do me?
I walked to the kitchen, my legs felt a little more on display than normal for some reason. I reached into the cabinet for a cup, turned the faucet on, and filled the cup up with cold water. My back felt tingly at his presence behind me. I turned and handed him the water.
He took it, leaned against the island. His eyes said a lot. They've been saying a lot.
Even if I didn't want to acknowledge it that was a part of why I left.
He took a sip, then placed it behind him.
"How'd you find me?"
His brow quirked up. "That's the first thing you have to say to me?"
Not wanting to have this part of the conversation, I turned for another cup for myself. I filled it much slower this time. The fact that my back felt ten times more tingly when he came closer made me curse in my head.
"Malia," He spoke softly.
My hand pushed the tap handle down a little harder than necessary. I let out a breath as I looked over my shoulder, then turned back to him.
He stood not even an inch away from me.
My eyes looked into his. I clutched the cup for dear life.
He took the cup from my hand. "Why?"
I let out a half frustrated half sad breath that I was sure hit his neck.
"Does it matter why? You found me."
His head tilted. "Yeah, it does." His tone demonstrated how worried and confused he'd been. "I found you but not before I searched the whole town and finally got into contact with Henry."
My mouth tightened. Damn him. Did he not understand the point of a secret moving?
Scott's eyes grew wary. He looked down. "Did you not want him to tell me?"
We both knew the 'me' was perhaps the worst part of this scenario. I didn't tell Scott because I knew he'd talk me into staying and I would just to be closer to him...But I couldn't live my life the way I've been doing. That didn't mean he was any less important to me. Or that I wanted him to think he didn't matter.
My hand went to his shoulder. "Hey," I got him to look at me. "I was going to tell you. You were the first person I was going to tell," I hesitated. "I just had to get out of there while I had the nerve before something else kept me there."
He nodded. "Like another supernatural problem," He concluded with a nod.
"No," I admitted.
His eyes fell back on me in curiosity.
I took in a breath for good luck. "I knew if you asked me to stay that I would. I figured it was easier to ask for forgiveness than permission." My eyes went to my hand on his shoulder that absently rubbed along the fabric of his shirt and his warm skin. I abruptly stopped in embarrassment.
He narrowed his gaze on my face. "I wouldn't have asked you to stay if you wanted to leave, Lia." He let out a sigh. "Look, I know you've had a rough couple past months. Hell, a rough life. I know that the Lydia and Stiles thing hasn't helped on top of everything else that's happened, but I'm here for you." His soft eyes beat into mine. "I'm always here for you." His rough, warm hand found my waist.
I could blame the shortness of breath on the heat.
"I'm tired of losing people. I don't want to lose you too." His voice shook.
My hand slid down to his firm chest. "You won't."
We saw each other.
Then we were aware of how intimate we had gotten and not just in this moment. There were progressions between us that were borderline for people such as ourselves. I doubted that if Stiles found out about the crossed lines he'd be pleased about it.
Scott took a step back, his hand dropped from my waist.
I felt the absence of his touch and tried my hardest to push it down. It was what I'd been doing for weeks.
He headed for the living room. "Let's get a move on if we're going to have this place done by nightfall."
When he was out of sight I let a smile take over my face, then I followed him.
I wish there were more people like Scott McCall, but then, I guess, that specialness he had about him wouldn't be a diamond in the rough. And he was, special, I mean.
I watched him as I unpacked a separate box.
He looked up and caught my stare. He grinned. "You know, if you take a picture it'll last longer."
My mouth tugged into a grin but I wouldn't let it go that far. I teasingly threw the closest thing in my hand at him.
He caught the terrifying teddy bear that Stiles had given me on our third date.
My playful behavior vanished. I lowered my gaze to the box while I willed myself not to cry. Not in front of Scott. Not over this. Over the guy that broke my heart. His best friend. His brother.
Despite my attempt, I felt my eyes glisten.
The shuffle of feet on the hardwood floor made me break faster. Just knowing he'd be close by to help me let it flood open.
He lowered down next to me, his arm wrapped around me. He let out a tired sigh.
My head rested on his shoulder like the other times. I knew I should be over this and moved on with my life but I hadn't learned how to do that like the rest of them. And I hated for anyone to see me cry, to see me vulnerable, but Scott seeing me cry was the worst. I knew he didn't see me as weak but that didn't mean I wanted him to see me being so pathetic that I was hung up on a guy that didn't like me anymore, a guy that never loved me in the way he did Lydia. I wasn't the type of girl to be like what's wrong with me...But what was wrong with me?
"It's not your fault," Scott assured.
I nodded against his shoulder as I let out the bottled in emotions.
"You didn't do anything wrong. You're amazing. It's just..." He huffed. "Stiles is an idiot."
His words made me look up at him.
He gazed down at me.
I was about to ask if that's what he really thought but the words got caught in my throat from the way he looked at me.
"His loss." He added. His dimples came out at his soft grin.
Damn, it was hard not to smile back when he looked so adorable. Well, handsome. Or hot. I hadn't decided which one yet. Maybe all three. All the time.
My face felt hot. I pulled away to wipe at my face, or, at least, that's what it looked like.
"Thanks," I offered a soft grin. "I, uh, I don't know what I'd do without you, Scott." I hadn't meant for the words to come out coated in unspoken need or want or whatever it was that I felt for him that I shouldn't, but they had.
He propped one knee up, leaned against it, then reached for the box nearest us. "I don't know what I'd do without you either, Lia."
The words tugged at my heart. I couldn't help but stare at him.
He tossed another stuffed animal at me, one he got me for my last birthday. It hit me upside the head because I reached for another box at the same time. He wore a lazy grin on his face, something I wanted to see more of every day, which would now be harder not living in Beacon Hills.
Was moving a mistake?
I gave him a tough look that didn't hold up long because I couldn't pretend to be faux mad at Scott even if I wanted to. He was almost impossible to be mad at. At least, in my experience.
He grinned at me. "You know, say the word and I'll beat up Stiles."
I laughed. "No, you wouldn't."
Some seriousness fell upon him. "I'd do it for you." He realized a second later the weight of what he said, then he went back to the box.
I tried not to smile or look directly at him every five seconds but it was hard with him right there.
The rest of the evening and afternoon turned out much of the same with much less crying and much more laughter and smiles. It was damn near impossible not for me to be in a good mood around Scott. He was one of my best friends. He was the Alpha. I naturally felt comfortable and relaxed around him. I naturally trusted him, wanted to protect him, wanted to make him happy. Half the time I wondered if that was only an Alpha thing and not just a Scott thing. I liked to think of it as a little of both because I could've had a dick Alpha and not feel any of the things I felt when I was with Scott.
When the Sun hung low in the sky we celebrated our finish with two mugs of his favorite tea that I stocked up on while we sat on my barely big enough balcony patio.
He watched me.
I turned under his gaze with a smirk. "Care to share?"
His head shook. "No, not yet."
We stared at each other again. We seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. Well, it was hard not to stare at him. He was adorable, handsome, and hot all wrapped into one.
"How's the tea?" I asked to distract from the tension.
His forehead creased, he looked down at his barely touched tea. "Oh, good. I still can't believe you went to six different stores to find it."
I gave a small laugh. "I can. You kept going on and on about not being able to find it. I'm pretty sure I had a dream about you talking about it."
His eyes crinkled as he gave a light laugh. "You dreamed about that?"
"I dream about you all the time."
He paused then fought his grin. "Oh."
If I thought my face was red before it was on flames now.
I peered at him over my hot tea. "You know what I mean." I took a sip and averted my eyes.
He cleared his throat.
The balcony suddenly felt a million times smaller, made just for the two of us.
"So," He started. "What do you think you're going to do now?"
"What do you mean?" I chanced a look at him.
He stared out among the trees and skyline. "You know, to pay for this apartment. For a career."
My eyes widened. "Fuck." I shook my head. "I kinda forgot about that."
He attempted to hide his amusement but he ended up laughing for a few long, precious seconds. His eyes went back to mine. "Only you, Lia, would get an apartment on a whim and not think about the aftermath."
I made a face. "You know I hate math."
He stilled, then shook his head. "You know, if you weren't so adorable I don't think you would've made it this far." He teased.
I stared at him.
He looked at me. "What? It was a joke."
"No, it's not that-You think I'm adorable," I smirked.
His brow lifted. He let out a single tense chuckle, then faced forward. "Does it matter what I think?"
I was aware we constantly teetered on the edge of flirting, of sexual tension, of a lot of things but I didn't know how to stop it. Much like our friendship, it flowed naturally.
He turned his eyes on me in question.
My head nodded. "It's good to know."
"Why is that?" He leaned a little closer.
I held the warm mug in both hands and sipped on it, knowing he was waiting on an answer.
"Because now I can use that to my advantage." I teased with a side look. "Get special privileges."
He leaned forward so that his elbows were on his knees, his gaze forward. "You already get special treatment from me. Hell, you get special everything."
I bit my lip to keep from smiling. "How is that?"
"Do you really think I would be here for just anyone?"
I nodded. "Yes, because you're Scott McCall." I grinned. "You don't have a malicious bone in your body."
His grip tightened on the mug. His head shook a little. "That's not true. Not always." His thumb tapped on the rim of the mug. "Sometimes I wish for things to be different, that certain people weren't around so that I could be..." He trailed off.
I leaned forward. "So that you could be what?"
His eyes trailed over to mine. "Happy," They searched my face. "So that I could be happy."
I think I knew what he meant but I was afraid to voice my guess.
My head nodded on its own. My voice gave control over my thoughts. "Yeah, sometimes I do the same." I instantly felt bad for the omission. Did that make me a bad person?
His hand went to my knee, so warm and reassuring. "Hey, we'll figure this out."
My brow arched at his bold statement.
"About what you're going to do to pay rent." He added. His hand fell away.
I tried not to show my disappointment but I didn't think I did a good job at covering it up.
"Yeah, that." I agreed.
The Sun finally lowered at the horizon.
We watched it in comfortable silence.
I had the realization that I could do this forever with him and not get tired of it.
My eyes found him lost in deep thought. I took the opportunity to trace his face with my gaze. Maybe it was the pinks, blues, and oranges, but he looked so devastatingly attractive that I wondered how I hadn't noticed it until the last few months. Or maybe I always knew he was like this but I didn't want to acknowledge it because of other relationships.
He caught me staring. He didn't tease me this time, he just said, "Let's go somewhere." He stood and set his mug down on the cafe table between us.
I looked up at him in faith. "Okay," I placed my mug next to his.
We ended up in the woods a few miles from my apartment.
"You know, I would've thought we'd spent our fair share in the forest by now, McCall."
He trailed alongside me. His soft eyes held a playfulness that was intoxicating on him. "You're going to like this."
"If we're here for an orgy we need at least three more people."
He walked ahead. "That's not my style."
I cracked a cheeky grin. "Too afraid of the competition?"
His head shook, he threw a look back at me that I felt deep in me. "I don't like to share."
My eyes flickered to blue just as he turned back around. Thankfully he hadn't seen. I calmed down enough so that my gaze was brown again.
I followed him up to a collection of rocks that lead the way to a small cliff.
The night breeze made me untie my shirt so that it'd fall down the rest of my stomach and back.
When we made it to the top we sat at the very edge, our feet dangled below. Side by side we looked out at the starry night.
Being in nature made me feel connected to everything. Being with Scott had the same effect. So being with him in nature made me feel a slew of things.
My shoulder nudged his.
He cracked a grin at me.
"Thank you," I told him. "Not just for helping me move. You've been really great outside of our supernatural problems with the Stiles stuff and being there for me. I need to work on being a better friend."
"I disagree," He kept his focus ahead.
My eyes narrowed. "On which part?"
"Both,"
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter and something else.
My mouth dropped. "Scott McCall," I gaped.
He held the joint up to his mouth and light the end. He dragged in the smoke then blew it out like he'd done it before. When he looked at me he laughed loudly.
I couldn't keep the shock off my face along with the amusement. Scott smoking even a cigarette was cause for a celebration but him smoking weed was an alert the media kind of deal.
"Don't give me that look, I have troubles like everyone else." He knew I wasn't really upset hence the small grin on his lips. He passed it over. "Theo gave it to me, it's mixed with some herbs that will make it work for us."
I took it happily. I wasn't one to rely on vices but I could definitely use a little help to let all the stress go, if only for an hour or two.
I blew out the smoke and coughed a little. "I can't believe we're smoking pot together. I can't believe you smoke." I couldn't get over it.
He laughed, his dimples popped out.
Dammit, he was cute.
My mind backtracked to his earlier statement.
"What troubles do you have that you haven't shared with me?"
The air turned tense as he stared at me. He took another hit of the joint, then stared forward as he blew it out.
"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want," I offered.
A few seconds passed before he said, "No, it's okay."
My curiosity got the better of me and I asked, "Is it about us?" As soon as I said it I knew what a mistake I made. "Shit." I quietly cursed.
He turned to me. He gave a rueful smile. "You mean the thing we don't talk about?"
I nodded.
He let out another sigh. "Yeah, that's part of it."
My throat felt thick. I tried to coat it with spit. I bit my lip then took the joint from his hand.
Why did I open my big mouth? We probably could've gone the rest of the evening without bringing it up or the rest of forever. To be honest, I didn't like either of those now that it was out in the open. Sort of.
I pulled my feet up and scooted back away from the edge.
He did the same. He took off his jacket and gave it to me.
I wasn't going to complain because I needed the extra layer. I slyly ran the sleeve across my face to get the piece of hair out of the way. God, did his clothes smell good. They smelled like him.
He stared at me with a knowing glint in his soft, brown eyes.
I bit my lip nervously. I had rarely been nervous around guys before, I didn't have a reason to. Scott was different.
We laid back on our elbows.
He propped a knee up.
"He doesn't know." He ventured back to the topic.
Stiles didn't need to know everything. It wasn't like he'd be in Beacon Hills much longer. In a few days, he'd be gone and so would Lydia.
"He doesn't have to," I said brazenly.
His eyes snapped to mine in question. "Huh?"
I took the joint from his hand, put it out against my palm, and put it aside.
"I probably shouldn't do this but it feels right," I leaned forward.
He stilled. "Malia,"
My head shook. "I moved to start fresh, to be who I wanted, to do what I wanted. To leave the bad parts of that life behind. You were never one of those bad parts, Scott." I reached out and ran my hand down his face.
He shuttered under my touch.
"I shouldn't have run but you ran after me." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I think that means something."
He gave a nervous grin. "I think it means we are both stupid."
I took in his words, regret and sadness filled me as I laid on my back in rejection.
He did the same with his millionth sigh of the day. "It's not that simple and you know it."
"I'm not asking you to marry me, Scott. Hell, I'm not even asking for a relationship. I just think we owe it to ourselves to see where it goes if it goes anywhere. Don't you?"
We stared at each other.
My eyes closed. "Forget it."
He was right. I didn't want to hurt Stiles like that even though he did the exact same thing to me without caring. We would never work. We were just destined to be friends.
"I can't."
I turned my head toward him.
He stared at me. "Alright, I don't know what's going to happen. If we would even make it on a second date or not but I do know that I can't fall asleep without thinking about you. I can't close my eyes and not see your face." He gave a frustrated breath. "I can't do anything without thinking about you."
I couldn't help the budding grin on my face. "What does that tell you?"
His dimple deepened when he grinned. "That I should probably kiss you like I've wanted to do for a while."
"Then what are you waiting for?" I teased cockily as I turned on my side.
He turned, his arms pulled me closer a little roughly.
I made a noise of approval deep in my throat. "I didn't know you had it in you, McCall."
"There's a lot of things you didn't know I had in me." He made a face.
I laughed. "I bet."
He turned a little pink. "That sounded better in my head."
We lazily grinned at each other, testing if this what was we wanted. Did it feel right? So far, yes.
My finger trailed down his jaw. "I like your face." It fell out of my mouth.
He gave an adorably modest smile. "You like my face?"
I nodded firmly.
"That's good."
I had to know.
"Do you like my face?"
He nodded with a cute laugh. "Yeah, I love your face." He assured. "It's a good face. Strong and firm."
It was my turn to turn red after I realized how stupid that had been. My hands went to cover my face.
He laughed. "No, come on. Let me look at your strong and firm face." He teased.
My hand smacked his chest. "I hate you."
"No," He caught and held my hand in place. "You don't." He then leaned forward until our lips met for the first time.
I didn't want to be overdramatic but I swear it felt like puzzle pieces coming together.
He didn't do anything special or grand, he just kissed me. That was more than enough.
My hand slid from his chest to the back of his neck and into his hair.
He lowered me to the ground so that he hovered on top, but he didn't move to cover me like I wanted him to dammit.
I didn't know who he thought I was but I wanted more than that. My hand pulled on his hair enough to elicit a moan from him. My leg hooked around him and brought him down onto me.
He groaned at the contact. He broke away. "Lia," Alpha tension in his voice.
My other hand grabbed his ass to grind his erection into me.
"Malia," He pulled himself up, his red eyes stared down at me as he caught his breath.
I sat up. Why did it feel like I was in trouble?
He sat up with me. "If we're going to do this shouldn't we take this slow, see if we actually work before we jump into doing it on a cliff?"
I shrugged. "I don't mind doing it on a cliff. We are part animal, Scott."
His words caught in his throat. He gathered himself. "The point is shouldn't we go about this like we haven't been friends for years like we don't already know everything about each other?"
My head shook. "Where's the fun in that? Don't act like you weren't enjoying that."
He held a hand up. "That's not the po-" He sighed when his head hung.
The obvious occurred to me.
"Are you feeling guilty for wanting to feel me up?"
"Aren't you?" He demanded.
I sat back from the sharpness in his tone. I rose to my feet, then started down the cliff.
"Where are you going?" He followed.
I stopped then faced him with a clenched jaw. "You know, if I wanted to feel bad about myself I would've stayed stuck on Stiles. I didn't think you'd ever make me feel that way but I guess I was wrong." I took off his stupid jean jacket and threw it at him.
"Malia," He reached out.
I pulled out of his reach. "You were right. We can't do this without Stiles knowing and we certainly can't be happy without either of us feeling guilty. This was a mistake."
His eyes filled with regret.
"At least we figured it out before it started, huh." I turned away from him, determined not to cry. I made it all off five feet before it became obvious that I was.
He planted himself in front of me, his eyes looked like brown pools of pain. He reached out for me the same time I went to him. "I'm sorry."
My head shook.
This wasn't his fault. None of this was his fault. We were fools to think we could prompt something to happen in this way behind everyone's backs. We weren't those people. I didn't want us to be those people, not with whatever chemistry we had.
We stood there like that for a while longer until I could put on a brave face. He drove me home. We said an awkward goodbye. Then I laid in my bed in my new apartment unable to go to sleep without thinking about his stupid, adorable, handsome, hot face.
SCOTT'S POV:
The tossing and turning drove me to Stiles' house. I couldn't get the kiss out of my mind. I couldn't get Malia out of my mind. And as much as I valued and respected Stiles as my brother I wouldn't let him stand between my shot at happiness because she did make me happy. I could admit that to myself after repressing it for so long.
He opened the front door after my call. His sleepy eyes squinted at me. "Hey, what's up?"
I shoved my jittery hands into the pockets of my grey sweats. "I have to talk to you."
"I figured with the three am wake up call." He gestured for me to continue.
Before I lost the nerve I stood my ground and told him, "Look, I know that you're with Lydia and you've moved on. I'm happy for you. I want to be happy and-" His caramel eyes made me lose my nerve for fear of hurting him.
He rocked back on his bare feet. "Let me guess, Malia makes you happy?"
My body stilled. "Huh?"
He gave me an expectant look. "Malia makes you happy and you want my blessing. That's why you're over here now, isn't it?"
I tried to wrap my head around the fact that he already knew.
He gave a tired chuckle. "That's cute, you thought I was blind." He slapped a hand down on my shoulder. "See, no. I see a lot. I see the way you look at her and you know the rest."
My forehead creased. "Why didn't you say anything? You knew how guilty I felt."
"Scott, you're my bro, I love you. But I was waiting for you to man up and tell me yourself. I don't care if you date Malia. You two would be a perfect match actually. I see all the connections and whatnot." He yawned. "So not mad. Do your thing." He yawned again. "Now if you hurt her I will have to maim and kill you." He sternly slapped my cheek. "That all?" He already turned for the door. "Night." He closed it behind him.
Did that really just happen? Did he really give us the green light?
What should I do? Should I go home to weigh the odds? Or go to Malia? I couldn't show up empty-handed. What did you get a girl that you kissed then told you couldn't take things farther? Did she like flowers? I've never seen Stiles get her flowers. I should ask Stiles if she liked flowers. No, that'd be weird.
I was embarrassed to admit how many times I stopped myself from knocking on his door to ask him what I should do. Finally, I got in my car and drove. Whatever it was that I decided to do I knew it had to be special to her because she was special to me. I could practically see her roll her eyes now while she fought off her own dimpled smile that made me realize I could love things again. While I didn't think I was quite there yet with her I knew I wasn't far off. A scary realization but with her it was a good scary. I just hoped she liked the good scary with me too.
A/N: I knew I wouldn't have time to update a chapter by tomorrow before I went to work so I decided to write this after holding onto it for a while. What did yall think? If I get a good response I'll continue into a second part. If I get nothing then I'll just leave it like this.